By now you’ve probably seen the fight between Donald and Shasta. Well, you can consider that to be the undercard, because we had another incident of mascot misbehavior.
Coastal Carolina and James Madison hooked up on the football field last week and then Duke Dog and Chauncey the Chanticleer hooked it up on the sidelines.
Said Coastal freshman Andrew Moore: “He was belligerent. He was trying to get our mascot.”
As the Duke Dog resisted, police dragged him off the field and into a stadium tunnel.
“They ripped off his head,” JMU junior Brad Tephabock said. “They slammed him against the wall.
Ripped his head off? Who do these cops think they are? Michael Vick.
Apparently, people in the stands started yelling “Don’t tase me, bro” as security pulled the two apart. Classic.
If you’ve never taken a soccer ball to the face then congratulations because you are one of the lucky ones. The rest of have all felt the sting of having Spalding slapped across out forehead. But everyone has at least seen someone get pounded by a ball. Well, you’ve never seen it quite like this:
We thought that we heard something about the NFL celebrating Hispanic Heritage Month during the Cowboys/Bears game, but we just shrugged it off and figured that it was one of the voices that come to life after we’ve polished off our usual Sunday suitcase of brews. What can we say, sometimes we hallucinate in Spanish. We also heard one of `em say something about Nike designing a shoe for Native Americans. That’s when we knew it was time to retire for the evening.
Then we came across a video of this guy going bonkers over what we had figured was just a figment of our imaginations. After watching this moron, we’re starting to feel a lot more normal now.
Most people try to avoid riding their bicycles off the side of a cliff. You did catch that we said “most”, right? Here are the exceptions to the rule:
This video is kinda like Rocky; once you’ve seen it, you think you’re ready to take on the world, but you’re really only ready to get your face smashed in if you try.
Dan Boyle of the Tampa Bay Lightning is going to be out of commission for the next four to six weeks after having surgery on Sunday. You might be thinking that his injury was a broken arm or leg, torn ACL, missing eyeball or something else real `manly.’ Well, the injury was gross and painful in nature, but we’re not too sure how `manly’ it is to slice yourself up with your own skate.
Boyle got hurt in a freak locker room accident Saturday night after the Lightning’s 2-1 preseason loss to Washington. The defenseman was distracted while hanging up his skate. The skate slipped off the hook and hit Boyle in his left wrist, severing three tendons.
Frankly, we’re surprised that this kind of stuff doesn’t happen more often. After all, these guys are flying around on slippery ice with razorblades attached to their feet. Sounds like a disaster waiting to happen if you ask us. But you don’t have to take our word for it, Mr. Most Gruesome Sports Injury will inform you all about the inherit dangers associated with hockey.
So, what happens when you’re a sports columnist and you write a piece about a player that really ticks off their coach? Well, if you’re Jenni Carlson of The Oklahoman then you get torn into by a howling, rampaging Mike Gundy.
Hey, Mike, if it’s so wrong of her to “go after” one of your athletes then why are you hoping that someone “bedowngrades” and “belittles” her innocent child? It appears that in your anger you have forgotten what you are truly angry about. Never forget the words of the great Mahatma Gandhi: “An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth and the whole world would soon be blind and toothless.”
Links:
[NewsOK.com]: Reid is still the most talented signal-caller, but attitude is reason for change
We’ve been known to give an unfriendly gesture or two to our fellow motorists after being cut off or tailgated. So, we can only imagine how prickly we’d be if you ratcheted up the MPH to around 200. In fact, we’d probably act a lot like Kyle Petty did after Denny Hamlin smacked him from behind during Sunday’s race at Dover International Speedway.
While the two were always being restrained and we never got to see any real brawling, we did get a verbal back-n-forth between the two. Petty thinks Hamlin is too aggressive and Hamlin thinks Petty is a meanie. You know, the usual stuff.
It’s a shame that a guy with that much talent has to drive like that,” Petty said. “We’ve seen it a lot. We’ve seen it all year long. Even his teammate, Tony Stewart, talked about it. I think it pretty much speaks for itself.
And your counter Mr. Hamlin?
Don’t smack me on the helmet,” Hamlin said. “You smack me on the helmet and I’m going to punch you in the face, bottom line. So I’d like for him to call me some time this week.
“You don’t come to my car. You don’t come to my pit. You meet me somewhere else and we’ll settle it. I have the utmost respect for Kyle, but don’t lay your hands on my head.”
Petty also accused Hamlin of lacking focus after winning the Busch Series race on Saturday. Hamlin shot down that accusation, saying he has too much to worry about in his pursuit of a Nextel Cup title.
“The biggest thing is that I know Kyle gets run over a lot and a lot of the reason is that he’s so far off the pace,” Hamlin said. “We’re in a clutter of leaders and he’s racing his own little battle and some days it’s your day and some days it’s not. Get out of the way.
Yeah, Kyle; “it’s the fastest who get paid and it’s the fastest who get laid.” Shake and bake!
Links:
[WCNC.com]: It’s On! Angry Petty lays the smack down in garage on Hamlin
In our opinion, it was one of the single greatest moments in the history of sports. It’s a clip that gets played with regularity around here and it takes us back to a time that will never be recreated again. So, what are we talking about? You got it, we’re talkin’ bout practice.
You might be wondering why we’re bringing this up right now; well, it turns out that AI wishes he had never said it. What you talkin’ bout Allen?!
It was just being young and definitely immature. I wish it wouldn’t have ever happened,” he says during an appearance on Fox SportNet’s “Best Damn Sports Show Period.”
The interview, which took place Wednesday, will air tonight.
“But you learn from experiences like that . . . I think it sent the wrong message, especially to kids. You can’t be a scoring champion and an MVP and an All-Star and all of that without practice . . . I didn’t want kids to get the message that you don’t need to practice because when you’re not practicing, someone else is out there practicing, getting better.
C’mon, man, don’t be so hard on yourself. That’s like saying that MLK should have never had a dream or that JFK shouldn’t have requested that we ask what we can do for our country. Maybe we should just forget all about how the Beastie Boys told us to fight for our right to party too.
Embrace your history AI. No matter what you say, you will always be that loudmouth, coach-hating, scoring machine to us. And we will always be talkin’ bout practice.
Links:
[Philly.com]: Iverson regrets bad talkin’ bout practice, bad talkin’ bout practice
Last week we brought you a voice recording that surfaced of OJ Simpson as he went all Mafioso on some sports memorabilia guys. Well, there’s been another incredible find and it just reaffirms the fact that it really sucks to be the Juice.
Sorry, OJ, but if Johnny Cochran’s in heaven or hell then you’re going to jail.
Kevin Garnett spent 12 seasons with the Timberwolves before the Celtics came along and plucked him from the land of futility. Now that he’s in a much better place, KG is able to take a deep breath and just relax knowing that he’s not alone any more. You’d never expect his wiry frame to support the dead weight of a franchise for that long, but he did.
The Kid might not have a ring, but you’d never catch Kobe Bryant carrying the hopes of Hollywood to a losing record every year with a smile on his face.
Said Coastal freshman Andrew Moore: “He was belligerent. He was trying to get our mascot.”
