When we decide to bring you bowling clips, there are really only three types that can even make the cut. We can bring you some loser impressing himself with a little trickeration:
Or we could bring you some in-competition perfection:
Or, we could just show a guy who is way too sloshed to be renting lice infested shoes:
We never thought we’d say this, but round up the fellas and a suitcase of Bud. We’re going bowling!
This has absolutely nothing to do with sports, but there was no way we could hoard a clip of some local television baboon having foreplay with a digitized woman to ourselves.
All right `farting sports guy‘; you are no longer the most humiliated man in newsroom. We’re guessing if that clip went on for just a few more seconds he’d bust out with “Tune in Tokyo. Tune in Tokyo.”
Links:
[Awful Announcing]: During A Breast Milk Story A Local News Broadcaster……Umm, Just Watch The Video
As scary as it is to admit, Chris Crocker has become a household name in America thanks to the countless Hollywood gossip shows and blogs that elevated him her it to semi-star status with their constant play of a whiny, crying jig following blubbery Britney’s performance at the VMAs. Well, apparently the Crocker craze has spawned imitators. And some of those imitators are more passionate about football than Crocker is about Brit. Scary, huh?
“You gotta problem with him, you come see me; you BASTARDS!!!”
We don’t know a lot about soccer, but we do know that most of these guys enjoy a good fight. So, when some punk decides to stop using his feet and begins to rely solely on bouncing the ball on his head like a seal, you know that someone is gonna get pissed. Luckily for us, that someone delivered a hit to `seal boy’ that would make Ray Lewis beam with pride.
Don’t you wish Lefty would have the same reaction should Tiger ever decide to get cocky and do his little ball-bouncing wizardry at the course again? Okay, maybe it’s just us.
Links:
[The Offside]: A Seal Clubbing in Brazilian Football
Yeah, it’s Monday and, yeah, life kinda stinks when you have to leave your weekends of football and ice coldies for another five days of slaving for the man. Well, here’s a great way to let out some of that left over aggression or to pick you back up from a Monday morning let down. Of course, you have to find an idiot friend who’s willing to be a human target for you, but that shouldn’t be too difficult.
Any volunteers?
Links:
[Our Book of Scrap]: Human Target Practice Using Golf Balls
We’ve brought you plenty of crazy `sports’ in the past; some of `em were pretty cool, some of `em were complete wastes of time, *cough**cough*finger jousting*cough*. But we think we might have hit another homer with the discovery of our latest favorite pastime. So, without further ado, we bring to you BallBall, or, as it is more commonly known, “the sport for idiots.” While we couldn’t agree more with the catchy moniker, we also can’t wait to give it a go.
Links:
[Seal Clubbers]: This Is Gold Jerry! Gold!
Okay, so what happens when Shasta the Houston Cougar pisses off Donald Duck? Well, Shasta gets his ass handed to him and Donald gets slapped with a one game suspension.
So, was it worth it? When you spend your free time in a sweaty, smelly, hot, heavy, gigantic duck suit, hell yeah it is!
Links:
[CBS2.com]: Bad Duck! Oregon Mascot Suspended
We love seeing those goofballs at ESPN make fools of themselves. Actually, we love anyone who publicly humiliates themselves for our amusement, but we really love when it gets on-air. And even though this clip is hella old, when we saw this lady on ESPNEWS blurt out the mother of all bombs during a highlight clip, we knew it was going to be a good day.
True story: Robert Flores actually got his job at ESPN following a messed up package on a local news station that ended with a curse word. He redid the package without cursing, but some behind-the-scenes moron actually played the wrong tape the next morning and his mistake ended up costing Flores his job. Oh, well, he’s probably a little happier where he is now. Sorry, Danyelle, but in your case, there’s nowhere to go but down.
Links:
[The Big Lead]: Old? New? Always Funny.
Call us losers if you want to, but we have absolutely no idea who these guys are or why we should give two flips about em. However, we do like the way the nerd with the glasses and the lisp thinks.
Could it be fake? Possibly. Probably.
Do we care? Not in the least.
Links:
[Off Wing Opinion]: Don’t Try This At Home
We make no secrets about it; we just love watching guys crumple in pain after a perfectly placed shot to the nuts. Then we found out that there is an entire sport dedicated to our passion. It’s called Groinball and it’s got rules and everything. At least the YouTube description says it does.
Groinball is a game with a rich tradition. It was invented by the Japanese shortly after the second world war, but stolen by the white man and brought back to America, where it was developed into the modern game we all love. Two teams of two compete in Groinball. Two opposition players face each other inside a box marked on the ground and place their hands on each others’ shoulders whilst their respective partners stand behind them. The object is for the players outside of the box to bounce tennis balls between their team mate’s legs so that they hit the opponent in the groin. The game is scored much like boxing in that points are given for hits (2X points for friendly fire) and the match ends after a pre-determined period or through a KO (defined as a player crumbling and hitting the floor).
And all these years we never realized that by trying to whack little Timmy from down the street in the package with a racquetball we were really on the verge of creating sport. With just a lil’ more innovation, we could have been these losers. Damn!
