Categories
General Sports

Odds and Ends: The Worldwide Runner Up in Online Sports!



The new king

Duh duh duh… duh duh duh. It seems that FoxSports has overtook ESPN.com in the Nielsen NetRatings. The 800 lb gorilla has been stepped over. This story is getting a ton of play in the blogosphere because bloggers hate ESPN. While Fox Sports, The Sporting News, and especially AOL Sports embraced bloggers, ESPN gave them the finger.

This news that ESPN.com has been dethroned might have been the reason why ESPN.com’s Editor in Chief was relegated to a lesser role yesterday. Seems that the bad karma associated with stealing scoops finally caught up with them. Now if only Versus would get their shit together, we might have an alternative to Sportscenter and Stu “Boo Yah” Scott.

In other news…

[Techdirt]: Why Blacking Out March Madness Online Doesn’t Make Sense

[SignOnSanDiego]: when a Terrell Owens or Michael Vick or Antonio Gates jersey is sold, each of the 32 NFL teams gets about 11 cents.

[isporty]: Top 10 Dirty Sports Names (How is Lucious Pusey not #1?)

[Farther Off the wall]: Which Dodgers monkey/intern designed this tshirt?

And finally, we have two random items. First is this excellent video of Ricky Gervais being brillaint. And second is this tidbit from the New York Post: “New York Ranger Brendan Shanahan was blindfolded and ball-gagged as trannies danced around him.” Sounds like a great time.

Categories
Fantasy Baseball

Gotta love the random Geddy Lee appearance

Geddy Lee is one of the most underrated front men of all time. And it’s a little curious that he’s in this ESPN fantasy baseball commercial but it’s pretty damn amusing. Yeah yeah, we’re a little late on this but watching tourney coverage has seared this commercial into our brains. Any guesses as to who is doing the ghost singing for Kruk?

Gotta love Peter Gammons with the long hair. And is that Erin Andrews’ breasseses on the right? Oh and we’ll reserve commentary on John Kruk — we’re sure that the unimaginative bloggers hanging from Deadspin’s nuts fell all over themselves trying to be the first to make a “with leather” reference.

And as luck would have it, we just came across this comprehensive list of ESPN Sportscenter Commercials from Chicks Dig the Long Ball.

Categories
College Basketball

Top 10 NCAA Buzzer Beaters Video

Buzzer beaters are the best part of the NCAA tournament. Here’s ESPN’S take on the top 10 NCAA Tournament buzzer beaters of all time. You don’t really even have to watch to know who #1 is going to be. (Hint: a teammate cries like a little girl.)

Categories
General Sports

Stuck in Prison? Why not get ESPN?


Because of overcrowding in California prisons, the Department of Creatiosn created a video that is strangely like a timeshare recruiting video trying to convince convicts to move to a prison in Tennessee. Apparently the video gets played daily in California prisons like some weird 1984 propaganda film.

In true sales video style, it also has testimonials from earlier transferees:


You get 79 cable channels here. ESPN. You can’t beat that. We watch sports all day. That’s what we’ve been doing since we’ve been here: watching sports,” said one inmate.
Another inmate said that everyone got along at his prison and called fellow inmates “buddies.”
“Your cells are open all day long except for a few counts, from 6:15, 6:30 in the morning to 10:30 at night, and 12:30 on weekends,” said one inmate.

Hey, and ass rapings only occur on alternate Tuesdays! Can you imagine if you got there and prison officials edited ESPN so all you ever got was reruns of Quite Frankly with Stephen A Smith, Stu Scott and Skip Bayless? That would be cruel and unusual punishment.

Links:
[NBC11]: Calif. Inmates Tempted By Cheeseburgers, ESPN In Tennessee

Categories
College Basketball

Cell phones… they’re AWESOME BABY!


It seems that radio is the best method to get in trouble these days. First it was Jim Mora Jr., then Timmy Hardaway, and now college hoops announcing icon/blowhard Dick Vitale. Dicky V is in hot water over some comments he made at a restaurant to a fellow diner while unknowingly on the air via cell phone with WNML-FM in Knoxville. (audio link)

Vitale relayed a private conversation between him and Billy Donovan over the draft prospects of Joakim Noah:

Right now, I talked to some NBA guys who have a little doubt about [Noah]. I mean, he’s still going to get drafted top six or seven, but [he has] no shot. No shot. I’m going to tell you what. I’d take Horford over him. You know who told me that in confidence? Billy Donovan grabbed me all alone and said the pro scouts are making a mistake. He said there’s no way I would take Noah over – he said he would never say that publicly – over Horford.

Vitale called the next day and said he was joking and that conversation between him and Billy never took place. It’s a little too late Dick. There’s no way that any NBA team will take Noah over Horford now. And while the NBA scouts might have come to the conclusion that Horford is a better pick, Vitale might have just cost Noah a lot of money. Thanks a lot, Dick.

Links:
[Loser with Socks]: Dickie Vitale Reveals Billy Dononvan Comments…..Oops and Oh Shit

[TBO.com]:Vitale’s Inadvertent Remark Could Affect Team’s Chemistry

Categories
NBA General

Stu Scott is the biggest tool in Vegas

Considering all the d-bags that end up in Vegas every weekend, it took a truly special effort for Stu Scott to win this award. Stu – please, stop trying so hard. You’re like the white guy who wants desperately to be black. We know life is pretty tough all around you… like when the public be all up on your private beaches… but seriously… just stop. No one is buying it.

(photo from The Big Lead.)

Categories
NFL General

Does Michael Irvin have some unemployment in him?


Maybe that comment Michael Irvin made in December about Tony Romo having “some brothers in that line somwhere” finally caught up with him. According to the NY Post:


One industry source believes the decision has already been made, and that some at the network view the outspoken Irvin as a ticking time bomb, ready to explode into a public-relations nightmare.

ESPN did not confirm or deny the report, but issued a statement, saying: “We are currently in the process of discussing studio assignments for next season.”
There is speculation that newly retired Bill Parcells could end up at the network, but there is no indication that a deal is imminent.

Upgrading from Michael Irvin to Bill Parcells is like upgrading from Kyle Boller to Steve McNair. It won’t nearly be as fun to watch in a Titanic sort of way but at least it won’t make you cringe every 5 minutes.

What exactly will Irvin do if he’s fired from ESPN? Maybe he can team up with Bryant Gumble for the NFL Network broadcasts and make that the biggest pig fuck in the history of sports broadcasting.

Links:
[NY Post]: JD SINGIN’ THE BLUES AS GARDEN RETURN NEARS
[The Fanhouse]: Michael Irvin Could Have A lot More Time to Do Illegal Stuff

Categories
NFL General

Odds and Ends: What? No Christian Slater in the booth?



I have friends who are A-listers

The lead producer of Monday Night Football has admitted that perhaps having “B-listers” in the booth for Monday Night Football was a mistake this year and points specifically to Christian Slater. If you were lucky enough to miss Christian Slater promoting a movie during the Seahawks-Raiders game, well, it was extremely painful. When asked whether he was a football fan by Joe Theisman, he replied, “I have friends who are football fans.” Ummm… ok. So next year, ESPN will no longer have any B-list celebs in the booth during games, although there will be plenty of A-list celebs promoting Disney movies.

In other news…

[Call of the Green Monster]: To Welcome Matsuzaka, Manny Plans to Learn “Chinese”

[NBA.com]: Gilbert Arenas responds to Kobe

[Fox News]: Prosecutors drop rape charges against Duke lacrosse players (still face kidnapping and sexual offense chargers)

[TSN.ca]: NHL is considering realigning to 4 divisions

[Newsnet5]: Personal Info On Dozens Of Ballplayers Taken From Dumpster

[Basketbawful]: Whatever happened to Armon Gilliam and his gumby haircut

[Steroid Nation]: Fighter submits a sample of “non-human urine or urine from a dead human being”

Categories
College Football

Desmond Howard earns his paycheck

Desmond Howard on what bowl game he’s most looking forward to:

I’d really like to see the matchup with the Thorpe Award Winner Aaron Ross of Texas vs an up and coming superstar Deshaun Jackson of Cal.

Ummmm… yeah except Cal is playing Texas A&M in the Holiday Bowl and not the Longhorns. Good work Desmond. We can’t wait till he comments on the Lions-Browns Super Bowl this year.

Categories
NFL General

Around the NFL: Week 13 Recap


1. Rex Grossman stinks: The Bears clinched the division title even though Rex Grossman went 6 for 19 for 34 yards, 0 TDs, and 3 INTs. At one point in the game, Rex’s passer rating was 0.0 and he had as many INTs as he had completions. The fans in Chicago must seriously be worried about their QB situation. The defense and Devin Hester can only bail you out so many times. And Brad Johnson won’t be giftwrapping 4 INTs in the playoffs. From the Chicago Tribune: “I’ve hit a little slump,” Grossman offered, which is kind of what the Titanic said to the iceberg.”

2. “Nobody celebrates like a Grammatica“: Joe Buck and Troy Aikman can make fun of Bill Grammatica all they want but Martin came up clutch against the Giants and the Cowboys now have a stranglehold on the NFC East, where they were previously 1-3. The Giants meanwhile are looking like the Raiders with their personal fouls and false starts at home. By the way, why does Tom Coughlin stare in disbelief after every single play. Yeah, Tom, it happened. Stop acting like some act of God went against your team and just focus on coaching up the next play.

3. Bush’s breakout game: Reggie Bush certainly was impressive in the Saints’ win over the Niners yesterday. He had 3 rushing and 1 receiving TD but let’s not go overboard and give him the rookie of the year award yet. He isn’t even the Rookie of the Saints. That distinction (and offensive ROY) belongs to Marques Colston with 54 catches, 869 yards and 7 TDs. While Bush’s 4 TDs in one game is impressive, Colston has been more of a consitent scoring threat this season and has been very important in Drew Brees’ stellar year and the Saints run to the playoffs.

4. So much for the Dolphins: Remember Joey Harrington’s “Why can’t we win 9 in a row?” statement? Well, Joey, because you threw an interception at the Jaguars’ 8 yard line and then you threw another interception at your own 23 yard line. Any talk of the Dolphins making a run to the playoffs with was squashed in a 24-10 loss to the Jaguars. Instead of being 6-6 and within a game of the wildcard, the Dolphins are 2 games out and behind 5 teams for the 2 wildcard slots. What if Nick Saban had gone with Drew Brees or even Joey Harrington from the get go?

5. We want Jake!: While most people agree that Jay Cutler will be a fine QB eventually, the move by Shanny to bench Plummer isn’t looking as good as Parcell’s decision to bench Bledsoe. Other than the 71 yard TD pass towards the end of the game, Cutler was completely underwhelming in his debut. The only lengthy drive that he steered was in the second quarter but that TD drive was mostly a result of a Tatum Bell 31 yard run and a 15 yard personal foul on the Seahawks. (Cutler did throw a nice ball to Stephan Alexander for the TD.) The road doesn’t get any easier as the Broncos head to San Diego next week. However, the rest of the season does include two games against JV secondaries (Arizona and SF) where Cutler can get tuned up for the playoffs.

6. BORRRRRRRRRING!: Finally, ESPN gets hosed again with another Monday Night matchup that shouldn’t be interesting to anyone not in Carolina or Philly. While NBC has been getting great games on the Sunday night broadcast, we’ve had to sit through such coma inducing games on MNF like Chargers @ Raiders, Packers @ Eagles, Patriots @ Vikings, Raiders (again?) @ Seattle, Bucs @ Panthers, and Seahawks @ Packers (again?). Why exactly were the Packers on MNF twice this season? Oh right, Theisman and Kornheiser made sure their contracts included ample opportunity to knob Brett Favre.