Tag: espn

Categories
NBA General

Odds and Ends: ESPN finally makes itself useful


ESPN sucks. There’s hardly any redeeming features to the slow ass bloated website or the retarded programming but we finally found something that’s worth using over at “.com.” The Trade Machine allows you to propose a trade between up to 4 teams and the website will figure out if the trade will work from a salary standpoint and point out any clauses that might negate the trade.

For example, if you want to test the trade that Peter Vecsey is claiming might happen between the Pacers and the Lakers, you could put in Jermaine O’Neal for Andrew Bynum and Lamar Odom. But the resulting trade would fail because “the Lakers are over the cap, and their incoming salaries are greater than 125% plus $100,000 of their outgoing salaries. They need to cut $10,405 from the incoming trade value to make this trade successful.” With all the trade rumors flying around, it’s fun to see if it even makes sense salary wise.

In other news…

[Sportsline]: Prosecutor: Informants say they can link Vick to dogfighting

[Can’t Stop the Bleeding]: Florida A&M basketball coach arrested for stalking a woman

[The Big Lead]: So this is why UFC can’t market Rampage Jackson

[The Offside]: People really need to stop thinking up new sports

[The Golf Blog]: Michele Wie is kinda useless

And finally, a random story about a woman who is suing Wal-Mart because she slipped in a puddle of vomit. Investigators don’t know how to proceed because you can’t really dust for vomit.

Categories
NFL General

Odds and Ends: Will Keyshawn be any good?



Am I an asshole?

By now, you’ve heard that Keyshawn has decided to retire and join ESPN. Now, my first reaction to this is that it’s another example of ESPN just going completely down the toilet. However, if you look at Michael Irvin’s work, he wasn’t all that bad. And Keyshawn is basically just another version of Michael Irvin.

I feel like Michael Irvin really did have some decent insight into the game of football (certainly more than that Chris Berman asshole) but he simply wasn’t articulate enough to express his opinions and he also had the habit of trying to be funny by saying the stupidest. So while ESPN’s NFL coverage is all but unwatchable, having Keyshawn on the show isn’t going to make it any worse. Thank God we have the NFL on FOX.

In other news…

[buzzfeed]: Six fans who gave shout outs to their team on death row

[UPI]: Blind golfer seen reading scorecard

[DC Pro Sports Report]: 2007 Mock NBA Draft

[Bloody Long Odds]: Odds for 2010 World Cup already released

[MSNBC]: Rosenhaus supports Clinton Portis

[SI]: Ex Montana St player leader of drug ring

[Houston Chronicle]: 2011 Super Bowl could set ticket sales record at $93 million

[Seattle PI]: Jones soda pulls off Seahawks upset

[IHT]: Japanese red socks have become symbol for Red Sox

And finally, stay away from the salad at the Wheaton North High School

Categories
NBA General

Odds and Ends: More on the NBA ref racial bias study



Should we call it on the black guy?

A couple of weeks ago, we told you about a study that concluded that there was a racial bias in foul calls in the NBA. One of the major flaws in that study was that the data was based on box scores and only the racial makeup of the three member crews could be used in the analysis instead of which ref made which call. Well, after the NBA criticized the study, they released actual person by person foul call data to Justin Wolfers, the professor who penned the study.

After reviewing the new data, Wolfers found that the NBA’s data actually confirms racial bias in officiating. Doh! An independent analysis of both Wolfer’s and the NBA’s study confirmed the findings in Wolfer’s study. The NBA is taking an ostrich approach: “It’s done. It’s over. We have nothing to add to what we have said already.”

In other news…

[NY Times]: Some people think an amputee sprinter might actually has an unfair advantae in the Olympics.

[Indystar.com]: Colts say no to car honoring team in the Indy 500.

[Milwaukee Journal Sentinel]: Hey, Ruben Patterson, don’t forget: you’re a sex offender.

[Off Color Commentary]: Pam Oliver sucks

[One More Dying Quail]: Baseball’s All-Height Team

And finally, we have two stories on why ESPN sucks donkey. First, is Fantasy Fishing. Boy, we can’t wait to get our office ready for this thing. Second, the National Spelling Bee will be hosted by Mike and Mike. How many Golic is so dumb, he can’t spell cat jokes will there be? 200? ESPN really is ruining everything holy in sports/almost sports.

Categories
All Other Sports

Can the UFC finally KO boxing for good?


ESPN rode the Oscar De la Hoya/Floyd Mayweather fight for as long as they could and now that the “fight of the century” has turned out to be the biggest waste of $55 since the last “fight of the century” it looks like the mother ship is ready to give the UFC some love. You know, the same Ultimate Fighting Championship that has been criticized by the world of “legitimate” sports news for years now. Well, ESPN doesn’t care about having a consistent approach to their professional beliefs; no, they are concerned with getting ratings and selling magazines. And that’s why the Iceman Chuck Liddell will be on the cover of the May 21st issue of ESPN The Magazine.

Could this be the push that the UFC needs to become a regular fixture on Sports Center? Will we soon be hearing Stuart Scott and Scott Van Pelt trying in vain to be funny as clips of Tito Ortiz and Matt Hughes performing some ground and pound techniques roll during the voice over? Only time will tell, but one thing we do know is that professional boxing is losing steam with every 12 round, snooze fest, split decision that comes down the road. So, it’s no coincidence that ESPN has jumped onto the UFC bandwagon just as one of the most anticipated fights in recent history comes rolling around.

UFC went out of their way to lure one of Pride’s best fighters over to the U.S. and on May 26 at UFC 71, Quinton “Rampage” Jackson will take on the light heavyweight champion, and current ESPN cover boy, Liddell.

We happen to be huge fans of the whole mixed martial arts scene here at Sportscolumn and, frankly, we don’t understand why it hasn’t moved past being considered a fringe sport long ago. So it’s no surprise to us that the UFC is on the verge of blowing up to mainstream proportions, and UFC President Dana White knows that his company can provide something that no boxing promotion has been able to do for quite some time, and that is have a fight that lives up to the hype.

Saturday night is what pisses everyone off,” said White. “It’s crazy. It just drives people further from boxing. You get one fight for 55 bucks. One fight for a $2,500 ticket. You get people all excited for the buildup and then the fight ends up sucking. Both guys try to outpoint the other and win a decision.”

“In the UFC, we give you eight or nine fights, they’re all good, and the guys are fighting their asses off trying to finish it. There’s tons of energy.

Links:

[BostonHerald.com]: Liddell, White have it covered

Categories
General Sports

Do we really need to tell you how moronic Stu Scott is?


Stu Scott has got to be one of the most annoying man on television and he’s proving that his disabilities are far worse than simply having a lazy eye. Mr. Boo-Yah opened his yapper to ESPN the Magazine the other day but instead of the normal horribly scripted garbage that comes spewing out, he shared some of his true feelings about culture in response to an email. We don’t know which is worse.

Emailer: Stuart, you say Pacman isn’t a bad guy, but Imus’ words reflect who he is? Whats the difference?

Stu: ” I didn’t say Imus was a bad person. I do think he’s racist and sexist”

“That makes him a flawed person, like Pacman.”

“Personally, though, I’LL TAKE PACMANS INDISCRETIONS OVER THOSE OF IMUS

Look, Stu, we all know that you can’t see out of that glass eye you’ve got, but it shouldn’t be completely skewing your view of reality. Imus is a documented bigot; nobody is saying he’s a saint, but Pacman?! You do know who Pacman Jones is, right? Please don’t make us go through the entire list of transgressions again, but we’ll remind you that he did spark a shooting after slamming a stripper’s head into the stage in Vegas. Call us crazy, but we’ll take the whole “nappy-headed hos” thing any day over getting an innocent bystander paralyzed.

What makes the cyclops’ comments even more retarded is that he came out after the whole Imus thing broke and said that the term “ho” is a way of being affectionate. Huh? So, how can Pacman possibly be less flawed than Imus when you think that Imus was only being “affectionate” when he called those hos hos?

Go away, Stu, just freakin’ go away.

Links:

[Awful Announcing]: Stu Scott Think Pacman Jones Is A Saint

Categories
Satire

Odds and Ends: The funniest sportscenter spoof ever

We were all set to lead off Odds and Ends with a story about Joe Thomas skipping the NFL Draft to go fishing with his dad but then a reader sent us this video of an ESPN Sportscenter spoof that has us peeing our pants. It is almost perfect. You have to watch it twice to read the ticker at the bottom but it’s totally worth it.

(Hat Tip: The Big Lead)

In other news…

[WBRS Sports]: Hockey + Cheerleaders + Sex + Lawsuit + Threeway + “more fuckable” – Pics = 9.0

[Detroit Free Press]: Look out Flip Murray, they shootin!

[Encarta]: Bill Nye the Science Guy’s fascinating explanation of the Gyroball

[Battle of the Surfaces]: Exactly what nobody was dying to see

[Star-Telegram]: Moose Johnston’s wife is tough as nails

[Big Show Baseball]: A-Rod is off to such a good start that Yankees fans are even including him in their best of all time lists

And finally, our quote of the day comes from Phoenix Coyotes CEO Jeff Shumway:


Players will say they want to be in Phoenix… That means the weather is good, the golf is good … What they mean is they want to retire in Phoenix. What we need are guys who want to play hockey in Phoenix.

Categories
Chicago Bulls

Odds and Ends: Rugy player on the DL after tripping over daughter


This is making an early bid into our upcoming Dumbest Off-Field Injuries feature. An Australian rugby player named David Kidwell tore ligaments in his knee and will be out the rest of the season after tripping over his two-year-old daughter. The injury was caused as he fell akwardly trying to avoid crushing his daughter.

Playing 10 years of first grade and no knee problems and something like this happens at home,” Kidwell told Australian Associated Press on Monday. “That’s definitely my season. I’m pretty shattered.

In other news…

[News.com.au]:Luc Longley: Greatest Australia Hero

[DNA India]: Field Hockey player points gun at doctor in hospital over sick daughter

[Can’t Stop the Bleeding]: Chuck Klosterman stealing paychecks

[Our Book of Scrap]: Finger Jousting is taking your mall by storm

[Sports Law Blog]: Why Does Tanking Occur in the NBA but Seemingly Not in Other Leagues?

And finally, just in time for the return of Entourage, a NSFW pic of Emmanuelle Chriqui.

Categories
All Other Sports

Everyone agrees: Colin Cowherd is a douchebag


We know how boring it is when bloggers talk about other bloggers (the staggering amounts of circle jerking in the blogosphere is vomit inducing ) but this is a special case because it involves ESPN.

It’s not often that bloggers agree on things but everyone is in universal agreement that Colin Cowherd is a complete tool. (Remember, this is the professional who stole content from a blog and didn’t bother to credit them.) In case you missed it last week, Cowherd told his listeners to take down TheBigLead.com by having everyone log onto thebiglead all at the same time (audio here). Well, it worked and TBL was down for about two days.

The outrage about Cowherd’s junior high level antics forced the ESPN ombudsman to address the issue in her latest column:


The official response from ESPN’s communication department was: “Our airwaves should not be used for this purpose. We apologize.” It is the kind of bland public statement that does little to assuage the anger and distrust of ESPN’s audience over an episode like this. I could not tell from that statement how seriously ESPN regarded the offense, so I contacted Traug Keller, senior vice president, ESPN Radio, to get a clearer idea of ESPN’s reaction.

Keller responded immediately to my request for an on-the-record statement. “We talked to Colin Cowherd, and we talked to all our radio talent, making it clear that you cannot do this,” Keller said Friday. “Our airwaves are a trust, and not to be used to hurt anyone’s business. Such attacks are off limits. Zero tolerance. I can’t say it any stronger.”

Keller said that he had not formulated a policy about such attacks on Internet sites until now because he had never imagined the possibility of them.

How sad is it that a behemoth like ESPN has to tell their employees that knocking out tiny mom and pop level outlets isn’t cool. Now, if they had taken down one of the shittier sites, we probably wouldn’t care but they took down one of the better sports blogs. However, there is a silver lining for this. The Big Lead wouldn’t have been able to buy this kind of publicity; so in a way, Cowherd did them a favor. Still, Cowherd better get used to his name and douchebag being linked together on google.

Links:
[The Big Lead]: Do it Again and the Kitten Dies

Categories
Cleveland Cavaliers

Lebron James takes his talents to the stage

As if being an All-Star, franchise carrying baller isn’t already enough for LeBron James, he has added a couple of side projects to keep his schedule full.

After buying an undisclosed stake in Cannondale, which creates a popular line of bicycles, last week, LeBron is now ready to give his skills on the mic a try. No, he’s not dropping a crappy rap album like Ron Artest and Shaq are known to do. Instead James will co-host the 15th annual ESPY Awards which will air on July 15. James will be sharing the stage with comedian Jimmy Kimmel who will be equipped with zingers and one-liners just in case LBJ stumbles over his lines.

Kimmel first met James backstage at a previous ESPY show where Kimmel has twice been a presenter.

We shook hands and I said, ‘Hello,’ and he just kind of looked at me quizzically,” Kimmel said. “He’s very, very tall. I’m not sure everyone knows that about him.

But LeBron is going to have to be pretty darn impressive if he is going to have a better on stage performance than Peyton Manning recently had on Saturday Night Live. And Peyton even had time to film this United Way commercial. Let’s see James top that.

Links:

[AZCentral.com]: LeBron James to co-host ESPY Awards
[SI.com]: LeBron meets Lance

Categories
NFL General

Theismann goes job hunting

[Update: It’s official]

Who would have thought that one day would make such a difference.  Well, the move from Sunday Night Football to Monday Night Football caused Joe Theismann to get fired from his 19 year gig at ESPN.  Looks like Ron “Jaws” Jaworski will be taking over for Theismann in the booth and join Mike Tirico and Tony Kornheiser as next season’s MNF trio.  Apparently, ESPN thinks there will be more chemistry and comedy between Jaws and Kornheiser than there was between Kornheiser and Theismann.  Too bad Jaws is an engaging as a wet towel.  If ESPN wants ratings they should just stick Mike Wilbon in the booth with his PTI buddy Tony.  

Theismann said that he can’t comment, “until I fully understand what has taken place.”  It’s pretty obvious what has happened Joe, you got fired, dumped, shit-canned, pink-slipped, kicked to the curb…need we go on?  But don’t get down; we heard that ‘Dancing with the Stars’ is already taking applications for next season.  

Oddly enough, Theismann’s playing career ended 22 years ago on Monday Night Football when Lawrence Taylor snapped into his leg like a Slim Jim and caused a national audience to simultaneously turn in disgust from the screen.  So, naturally, we thought you might want to relive the entire gruesome scene one more time.  

Links:

[SI.com]: Reports: Theismann out on `MNF’
[NYTimes.com]: Theismann dropped from Monday Night crew