Atlanta Falcons

PETA is retarded

We’re not fans of Michael Vick around here but even we have to call bullshit on PETA’s request for Falcons owner Arthur Blank to suspend Vick pending the investigation of his involvement in a facility that trained pit bulls for dog fights.

Look, we’re not fully convinced that Vick didn’t know what was going on at a property that he claims he simply let a family member use, but we also agree with something called due process. The PETA folks wrote a letter urging Blank to suspend Vick immediately and release him if “animals on his property are found to have been neglected or used for fighting.” Sounds a bit harsh doesn’t it? Even if the animals were trained for fighting (which is utterly despicable), that isn’t a reason to release Vick. Unless he was aware of the activities taking place at that property, he really shouldn’t be held accountable. Sure it’s another black mark on his record but hardly one worthy of release.

By the way, how about Michael Vick using Suzy Kolber as his personal PR whore to tell the fans that he is going to change.

I’m taking it upon myself and giving everybody my word that things are going to get changed around. Things are going to get turned around. I have a game plan for it. … The company I keep, a lot of things (have) got to change, and I mean that from the heart.

Hey, maybe Vick will turn it all around and turn into the player he was hyped to be coming out of college. But we doubt it.

**We would like to apoligize to retarded folks everywhere for comparing them to PETA.


[Ottawa Sun]: PETA wants Vick sacked

[Lexington Dispatch]: Vick Pleads Ignorance in Dog-Fight Case
[USA Today]: Vick ‘hurting’ inside after talk with Goodell

Atlanta Falcons

Odds and Ends: Michael Vick loves animals

Vick has a message for dog lovers

Michael Vick’s publicist might just jump off a bridge. The latest incident involves a search of a property in Virginia owned by Vick because authorities believed that dogs were being trained there for illegal fights. Vick doesn’t live at the house but his nephew does.

Early reports indicate as many as 70 dogs on the property, including 60 pit bulls with wounds that appear to be consistent with dog-fighting. Authorities have allegedly uncovered extensive dog-fighting paraphernalia, including rape stands (used to allow fighting dogs to breed while preventing them from attacking each other), equipment used to build strength and endurance in fighting dogs, and controlled substances frequently used in dog-fighting.

Now, we shouldn’t jump to conclusions about the extent that Vick was involved… oh what the hell, let’s just jump to conclusions. How the hell do you now know what your nephew is doing on a property that you own? This is just another example of Vick’s ability to win friends and influence people. Let’s just hope that nobody was pumping the dogs with steroids.

In other news…

[SC]: The Falcons now lead the league in animal cruelty

[]: Meet Brian Westbrook’s brother, Byron. No, that’s not confusing at all.

[The Offside]: Croatian Footballer Given a Sheep for Every Goal he Scores. What he does with it is up to him.

[The Big Picture]: What movie sporting event would you have liked to attend in person?

[Our Book of Scrap]: Tony Stewart says NASCAR is fixed

And finally, if you have a lot of time to waste, you can watch cheddar as it ripens. Seriously. Or like us, you can sit around and wonder, “hey whatever happened to Bridget Fonda?” and “why does Nic Cage suck so much?”

Atlanta Falcons

Michael Vick is a cheap bastard

It’s all over the newsfeeds today: Michael Vick is donating $10k to families of the victims of his alumni, Virginia Tech. If Vick thought this was good publicity, he is wrong. Remember, this is a guy who signed a $130M contract and is the highest paid player in NFL history. And he can only muster up 10k? With wonderful gestures such as the Nationals donning VT caps and Curtis Granderson’s tribute to “his biggest fan”, a VT student killed on Monday, Vick’s piddly donation seems shallow and lacking.

Of course, in moments like this, I always wonder if *I* am the dick, so I got Flash Warner‘s take on this as well:

Sportscolumn: Did you see Michael Vick is donating $10k to assist families of the VT tragedy?
Is it wrong that I think that’s cheap as hell?

The rest of this conversation after the jump.

Atlanta Falcons

I suppose you can tell me of a better place to keep my bling?

Michael Vick finally spoke publicly for the first time since his suspicious bottle incident at the Miami International Airport two months ago, and frankly his story doesn’t hold water. Vick says that the bottle which was confiscated for having a secret compartment that stunk of the sticky-icky-icky was actually a jewelry box. OK, Mike, we believe you. It was a jewelry box that you hid your marijuana in.

We went through all of this because there was a little water at the top,” Vick said. “I told them it was my stash box for jewelry. That is what I told everybody, but that wasn’t written.” He then went on to say that, “As for the smell and where that came from, I sat in the airport for another hour and 30 minutes. If there was something wrong, we could have handled the situation on the spot.

Vick also said that he’s been doing this for years but he’s never run into any trouble before.

I have had that bottle for years, for a long time,” said Vick. “If you had seen the bottle, you would have never known there was any jewelry in there,” he said. “I have had things stolen out of hotels. But I had never checked it through the airport.

Oh, now it’s all making sense. So, the smell came from your expensive weed scented jewelry that you keep in an Aquafina water bottle jewelry box that you’ve been using for years. Rumor has it that Levi Jones is using the same security system.


[]: Vick: Water Bottle Place to Keep Jewerly
[The Smoking Gun]: Vick in Airport Water Bottle Incident

NFL General

Carr and Casserly are gone but the stigma of stupidity remains

That’s a lot closer than
David Carr or Matt Schaub will
ever get to a championship.

The Houston Texans have official proven that they are the dumbest team in the NFL. Just one year after saying they were convinced David Carr was the quarterback who could take them to a Super Bowl, the Texans are trading Carr to Atlanta for Matt Schaub. The Falcons will also receive a second round-pick in the deal as well.

So, Houston passed on hometown hero Vince Young, Matt Leinart and Jay Cutler for Matt Schaub? And we’re not even mentioning that they could have also selected the multidimensional Reggie Bush. Schaub has been solid when given the opportunity to play in Atlanta, but the guy has only thrown 161 career passes with six touchdowns and six interceptions. Is that really worth skipping out on filling the stadium every home game with thousands of screaming Young fans?

It was as obvious before the draft as it was after the season that Carr was not the guy to lead a sewer dwelling franchise out of the scum and into Super Bowl supremacy. But former GM Charlie Casserly stuck around a bit too long and refused to lose face by giving up on the franchise’s first ever pick. And now the few fans that Houston has left will be forced to endure the torture of watching Mario Williams while knowing that Bush or Young could be bringing down the house with some sick footwork.

Williams will always be the Sam Bowie of the NFL and the Texans are now firmly entrenched as the Trailblazers of the league; minus the rapes, assaults and arrests of course.


[]: Texans near deal for Matt Schaub
[]: Falcons to trade QB Schaub to Texans

Atlanta Falcons

Is there more to the Patrick Kerney rape story?

We were going to let this rape story go quietly into the night. Or at least quietly into the daily Odds and Ends entry. But it seems that there might be more to this story than was originally reported.

According to newspaper reports, a female friend of Patrick Kerney’s went to a party and invited some guys back to Kerney’s place for a night cap. She then fell asleep on the sofa and woke up in the bedroom where the suspect was having sex with her. She then escaped by telling the suspect that she was going to get a friend to join in and escaped through the bathroom window. (Ahhh, the old promise of the threesome foils the rapist story.) Kerney said that he has been informed of the assault but was asleep at the time and the victim said that Kerney was not involved.

Seems like a pretty cut and dried story right? Girl invites the wrong guys back to her place and someone slips her a roofie and rapes her. Well, we’ll let the big lead do the rumor mongering.

Our Georgia tipster says that Atlanta radio is buzzing with rumors and innuendo. “The Lodge, where the party started, was the big happening with [Kerney’s] former teammates. Then the afterparty went to his house. Word is the suspect was african american and a former player.” We’ll keep the updates coming as we get them.

Yikes, more bad news for the NFL. With Pacman Jones and the Bengals already blazing up the arrest charts, the last thing Roger Goodell needs is another black eye. By the way, “african american and a former player”? That rules out Morton Anderson.

[Seattle PI]: Woman friend of Seahawk is assaulted

Atlanta Falcons

It Was Either This Or A Head Shop

Why is everyone always checking
out what I’m drinking?

We all know how much Michael Vick loves to smoke pot, so it only makes sense that the Falcons’ quarterback would open his own restaurant to handle his frequent late night munchies. On Wednesday, The Tasting Room became a reality; opening in suburban Atlanta and for profits sake Vick had better pray that Falcons fans have forgotten about the dirty bird that No. 7 dropped on them after getting booed off the field following a 31-13 home loss to the Saints in November.

Maybe this will offset some of that attention I’ve been getting, whether positive or negative. It’s good for people to see that I’m giving back to the community, where people can see me trying to do something that’s positive. There’s a lot of people speculating about things I do that are not so positive.

You mean like trying to sneak a MacGuyveresque homemade bottle meant for smuggling dope on to an airplane? It’s not speculation after you get caught.



Atlanta Falcons

Just when you thought NFL players couldn’t sink any lower


Atlanta Falcons DT Jonathan Babineaux was arrested for felony animal cruelty last week for allegedly killing his girlfriend’s dog. The dog died of blunt force trauma to the head which Babineaux claims happened when the dog accidentally hit his head against the wall. An autopsy on the dog will be released this week.

PETA (which we have absolutely no use for) sent a letter to Commissioner Goodell asking for Babineaux to be suspended for a year and a letter to the Falcons asking them to release him if found guilty.

It’s the kind of thing people can’t identify with,” said Dan Shannon, the manager of youth outreach and programs at PETA’s Virginia headquarters. “You just can’t think there is any way you’d kill a dog.

No but everyone can imagine slamming a stripper’s head against a stage because she dove for some money.

Babineaux’s lawyer said that Babineaux did nothing wrong opened his mouth and lied about something.

[New York Times]: Death of a Dog May Be Latest Mess for N.F.L.

Atlanta Hawks

In today’s marijuana news…

We’ve got a trio of drug related news for you today folks. First up is Michael “Don’t Criticize Me” Vick. Vick has been cleared by Miami police of any wrongdoing because the super secret spy water bottle he tried to bring aboard a plane at Miami International did not contain any pot. Vick certainly dodged a bullet there but what kind of moron refuses to surrender a water bottle with NOTHING IN IT? Vick’s last contract was for $130M… the water bottle costs $20. That Michael Vick ain’t too smart.

Second up is yet another Bengals arrest. This time cornerback Johnathan Joseph was arrested for pot possession after a car in which he was the passenger was pulled over. Police smelled marijuana and searched a Super Bowl XL backpack and found the pot. Good thing that swag is going to good use. This marks the 4,397th arrest for the Bengals this year.

Finally, Mike Tyson has plead not guilty to drug charges even though he admitted to being an addict in an interview with police and was busted with cocaine. His lawyer said, “Drug addiction is a victimless crime. We believe this is the kind of crime where you shouldn’t go to prison.” So doesn’t this mean he’s guilty but wants a lighter sentence? Ahh the good ole justice system. He’ll get a slap on the wrist and some community service.

[Miami Herald]: There was no pot in Vick’s bottle, police confirm
[Cincinnati Enquirer]: Bengals’ Joseph arrested
[AZ Central]: Tyson pleads not guilty to drug charges

NFL General

Jan 17 in Sports History: 15-1 Vikings go down in the NFCCG

In 1999: Normally, a 14-2 team advancing to the Super Bowl wouldn’t shock anyone, but when the Atlanta Falcons faced the Minnesota Vikings in the NFC Championship game, few expected Atlanta to move on. The Vikings were, 15-1 and one of the most dominant regular season teams in recent memory. Minnesota, led by rookie Randy Moss and a rejuvenated Randall Cunningham rolled up a league-record 556 points and was rarely challenged. Still, the Falcons decided to take the field anyway as 11-point underdogs in the noisy Metrodome. The Vikings had a chance to ice it in the fourth quarter, but Gary Anderson missed a 38-yard field goal (his very first miss of the year) that would’ve put them up by 10. Instead of being down by 10 with 2:00 minutes left, the Falcons were able to force overtime with a Chris Chandler (who outgained Cunningham 340-266) to Terrance Mathis (who scored twice to Moss’ one TD) touchdown with :49 left. The Falcons defense bogged down the Vikings in overtime and Morten Andersen kicked the game-winner to send the “Dirty Birds” to the Super Bowl for the first time, where Eugene Robinson was arrested for propositioning a prositute and the Falcons were beaten by the Broncos. (For those who might not remember the Dirty Bird—, lucky you. It was cool like the Macarena was cool.)

In 1997: Normally getting kicked in your bag just nets a lot of pain and embarrassment. And chances are, you probably deserved it. But when Eugene Amos, an in-house photographer at Minnesota’s Target Center had the audacity to be in the way of a diving Dennis Rodman, his pain turned into a winning lottery ticket. Rodman, then a member of the Chicago Bulls, was scrambling for a loose ball, collided with a prone Amos under the basket and introduced himself Nike-first into Amos’ crotch. The NBA kicked Rodman harder, but in his wallet. He was fined $25,000 and was suspended for 11 games. Rodman also agreed to pay Amos $200,000. Since the suspension was without pay, Rodman cost himself over $1 million dollars and an infinite number of stupid points, even for him.