Author: clay

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Pittsburgh Steelers

Steelers Anthony Smith guarantees victory over Pats and then asks what the definition of `is’ is


The Patriots sure did lose a lot of credibility despite never having lost a game. Guess all it takes in this league is a couple of close contests to go from everybody thinking you’re gonna run the table to getting guarantees dropped on your head by opposing players. Sorta.

People keep asking me if we’re ready for the Patriots,” Steelers defensive back Anthony Smith said. “They should be asking if they’re ready for us.”

Is Smith so confident that he is willing to copy one of former Pittsburgh linebacker Joey Porter’s familiar motivational ploys by guaranteeing the Steelers will win?

“We’re going to win,” Smith said. “Yeah, I can guarantee a win. As long as we come out and do what we got to do. Both sides of the ball are rolling, and if our special teams come through for us, we’ve got a good chance to win.

We’ve got no qualms about guaranteeing victories. If a player or coach wants to open their fat mouths and inspire their opponents then so be it, but just make sure that you are actually going to nut-up and guarantee the victory flat out. Smith tried to guarantee victory, but still managed to leave himself an out by adding the clarifying clause of “As long as we come out and do what we got to do.”

Guess what, we guarantee that we will own an NFL franchise one day. As long as they lower the price to under $199.99 and we can pay our players in dirt and leaves.

Hopefully for Smith, like with crappy Christmas gifts, maybe it’s just the thought that counts.

Links:

[International Herald Tribune]: Steelers player “guarantees” win over Patriots

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All Other Sports

Watch your back boxing, you’ve got some more competition

Boxing continues to deliver what is supposed to the sports final big fight before the UFC and MMA take over for good. This weekend’s bout is no different as the brash and arrogant Floyd Mayweather takes on the hard-hitting Brit Ricky Hatton. So, is this going to finally be the last hoorah for the sweet science? In a word – no friggin’ way. But the UFC and other fringe fighting alliances are defiantly going to be giving boxing a run for its money in the years to come. One league that we think everybody should pay extra close attention to is the HHHBCF or the Hand to Hand Heavy Bag Combat Federation.

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Phoenix Suns

Around the Rim: Amare Stoudemire shines in a fight to the finish


1. Sun-sational finish
The Suns were supposedly shopping Amare Stoudemire over the summer in hopes of winning the Kevin Garnett lottery. Well, losing out never felt so good. Stoudemire, who was rumored to be an eyelash away from landing in Atlanta, went off in Indy last night, netting 42 points and grabbing 13 rebounds in Phoenix’s 121-117 victory. Of course, with Steve Nash getting the ball to any open player in a purple jersey, even Kwame Brown could thrive in this system. Nashty was on fire, torching the Pacers for an 18-point, 17-rebound double-double. Not enough fat numbers for you? Shawn Marion had 14 points and 12 boards in the win. On the other side of the floor, home fans were thrilled to have a Jermaine O’Neal sighting during the contest as the former All-Star had a big man double-double of 30 and 11, but they could have gone with out the game-high six turnovers.

2. Even nauseous, Kobe’s better 95% of the league

Kobe Bryant spent his Tuesday feeling sicker than a dog. Then on Tuesday night, he took to the court against Minnesota and threw up 20 points, 13 in the first quarter, and a sick 360 dunk as the Lakers killed the T-Wolves 116-95. Andrew Bynum had the same stomach ailment as Kobe, but unlike the team’s sole superstar, the youngster went to the hospital and missed the game. Kobe takes a lot of flack for being selfish, but he’s got more heart and will to win in his pinky finger than most players have in their whole body. We hate when anybody gets compared to Michael Jordan, but we gotta agree with Jerry Sichting on this one.

How are you going to tell if he’s got the flu?” acting Wolves head coach Sichting said. “He’s a lot like Jordan. It doesn’t matter with guys like that. He made ME sick.

Don’t worry coach, he makes opposing coaches ill on a nightly basis.

3. Chalk up another upset for the Kings
The Sacramento Kings don’t exactly instill the same level of fear in their opponents that they once did, but maybe they should. Nobody is expecting the Kings to make it to the Finals or even to get out of the first round, but they have some solid wins over playoff-bound squads of late and they might not be done yet. On Tuesday, Sacramento was clutch down the stretch, scoring 43 points in the fourth quarter to knock off the Jazz by 10, 117-107. Despite being just half a game away from sitting in their division’s cellar, Sactown has wins over the Pistons, Spurs, Rockets and now the Jazz. But Sacramento’s trek is about to become even more of an uphill battle as Kevin Martin, the league’s seventh best scorer (24.5 ppg), is out for the next four to six weeks with a groin tear. Ouch.

Tuesday’s Player of the Day: Amare Stoudemire @ Indiana 36 min, 42 pts (FG: 15-24, FT: 12-13), 13 reb, 4 ast, 1 stl, 1 blk

Wednesday’s Game to Watch: Los Angeles Lakers (10-8) @ Denver (11-7)
One game currently separates the Lakers and the Nuggets in the standings out west, but nobody cares about teams anymore. We’re a superstar society and we want points, points and more points when we tune into the Association. Well, there are three players in this game who are capable of dropping 50 on anyone’s head at any time, so that should satisfy the masses. Bryant is sitting at second in the league in scoring with 27.2 points per contest while Carmelo Anthony is fifth (25.3 ppg) and Allen Iverson comes in at eighth with 23.5 points. And you can expect the Denver duo to be looking for some revenge after the Lakers routed the Nuggets 127-99 on Nov. 29 in L.A.

Buzzer Beater: For a minute there it looked like the NBA’s version of Sideshow Bob was going to quit his gig as sidekick to one of the league’s biggest attractions to waste away in Charlotte. According to Cavs GM Danny Ferry, that isn’t going to be happening. Terms of the contract haven’t been disclosed, but Ferry said on Wednesday morning that the team has matched the Bobcats’ offer, meaning Anderson Varejao and his hair aren’t going anywhere. Unfortunately, is appears the Cavs aren’t going anywhere either until LeBron James gets over his finger injury. James was injured in a loss at Detroit on Nov. 28 and has missed the last three games, all loses, with a sprained left index finger.

Categories
Olympics

It takes a lot of training to make it to the Olympics, even if you’re sitting in the stands


The Chinese are totally stoked that the Olympics are coming this summer. In fact, they are so excited about the big event they are even learning to cheer! Yup, what you consider second nature, the Chinese population is learning from tutors. Of course, their cheering is a bit more civilized than the typical Joe Six-Pack’s drunken slurs and rants, even if it is rather corny.

Zhongguo, Zhongguo — ha, ha, ha. Zhongguo, Zhongguo bi sheng,” the crowd shouts, simultaneously beating yellow, stick-shaped batons to the rhythm. “Jia you, jia you.” Rough translation: “China, China — ha, ha, ha. China, China must win. Let’s go, let’s go.”

One of about 20 cheers approved by authorities, it’s drilled a half-dozen times, orderly repetitions practiced in a meeting hall darkened by stained gray carpet squares and wood paneling. Thirty red and yellow paper lanterns dangle overhead, casting faint light on government slogans papering the walls.

Welcome to the “Beijing Civilized Workers Cheering Squad,” a public-education program to teach sportsmanship, all part of a larger Olympic etiquette campaign to show off a polite, prosperous and powerful China.

The 2 ½ hour prim and proper pep rally is to ensure that the culture upholds a positive image by continuing a tradition of hospitality when attending sporting events that they are unfamiliar with; which is a great thing in our opinion, even if it is rather corny.

China’s authoritarian government fears any glitches, which could happen with fans attending unfamiliar sports like baseball, sailing or field hockey, which are as foreign in China as a bullfight in Belgium.

Cheering at the wrong moment, taking photos when they’re prohibited or cell phones going off as swimmers teeter on the starting blocks are potential snags that could draw negative coverage.

Not to mention that it’s really distracting for players when fans are yelling gibberish about haggling prices.

At a field hockey test event this summer between Argentina and Australia, hundreds of middle-age women were bused in to add atmosphere — the kind of instant numbers only China can muster. The women tried to imitate cheers in Spanish, but got it wrong.

“Ba mao si fen han de di le,” they chanted, which in Chinese could roughly mean: “Eighty-four cents, you’ve offered a price too low.” Nobody could figure out what this had to do with field hockey.

Links:

[MSNBC]: Chinese getting lesson in cheering for Olympics

Categories
NBA General

Oh, Jerry Sloan is going to love the new league rule


It was just last week that we were thinking about how cool it would be to make wearing microphones mandatory for players and coaches in major sports leagues. Well, here we are today and damn it all if our Christmas wish hasn’t turned into a real life miracle.

Viewers will even get to peek into locker rooms via networks’ embedded robotic cameras. Those unmanned cameras can be directed to pan, tilt and zoom after media members are required to leave locker rooms 45 minutes before tip-off — and can shoot at halftime and postgame. The first games with broader access are prime time NBA doubleheaders on TNT Thursday and ESPN Friday.

Networks have rarely miked NBA players in the past, but will now be able to ask them to do it on a regular basis — with the player having the choice to decline.

NBA coaches won’t get that luxury. For the first time in a major sport, coaches will have to wear mikes — and be required to do TV interviews during games.

Holy crap! We were just kidding, we didn’t know they were going to take us seriously. You guys are actually going to make coaches give interviews during timeouts?! Have these guys ever seen what happens when football coaches get interviewed at halftime? Example #1*****Example #2*****Example #3

Hmmmm, maybe this isn’t such a bad idea after all. We’re glad we came up with it.

Links:

[USAToday.com]: NBA says mike it, but some coaches won’t like it

Categories
Oakland Raiders

Josh McCown is a clown both on and off the field


You might think of Josh McCown as a crummy quarterback on a crummy team, but you’d be totally wrong. He’s a comedic crummy quarterback on a crummy team. Big difference.

On Sunday, McCown played to a packed audience in the interview room at McAfee Coliseum. As they say in the business, McCown killed.

Here’s a sampling of McCown’s best lines during his postgame news conference:

On if he had ever signaled touchdown from his back, as he did on a third-quarter pass to wide receiver Jerry Porter after being flattened by Broncos linebacker Ian Gold: “You know, I spent my first four years in Arizona,” McCown said, pausing for effect.

When asked what he thought of Kiffin yelling at a Broncos player for the vicious hit on the aforementioned play: “That was sweet, to see Lane yell at somebody besides me,” McCown said.

Finally, he fired off this zinger when asked whether he was aware of how well his brother, Luke, played in a Tampa Bay Buccaneers victory over the New Orleans Saints earlier Sunday.

“This is one of the best days of football for us,” McCown said. “That’s awesome. I’m so excited for him — and glad I threw for more touchdowns than him.”

Last Thursday, McCown chided fellow quarterback Andrew Walter for throwing the pass that led to his dislocating his pinkie finger, saying, it wouldn’t have happened if Walter threw a spiral.

At least McCown is able to laugh at himself and his squad, just like the rest of us.

Links:

[InsideBayArea.com]: McCown’s jokes leave `em smiling

Categories
Detroit Pistons

Don’t turn your back on Sheed, not even for an interview

Rasheed Wallace is a crazy guy, but we don’t need to tell you that. However, with all temper tantrums, technicals, taunting and trash talk, you might not know that he’s is actually a pretty funny fella. Just ask Jason Maxiell what a funny guy Sheed is.

Nothing like a little bout of pregame dodge ball to loosen up the nerves.

Links:

[Awful Announcing]: It’s Dangerous Being A Sideline Reporter Around Rasheed Wallace

Categories
Orlando Magic

Around the Rim: It’s no illusion, the Magic are for real


1. Road warriors
It took an extra five minutes to get the job done, but the Magic continued their winning ways by outscoring the league’s highest scoring team in an East vs. West track meet. 240 total points were scored as Orlando downed Golden State 123-117 in Oakland. Dwight Howard almost cost his team the game when he picked up a technical late in the game, but he still gets `Beast of the Game’ honors for collecting 18 points, 23 rebounds and seven blocks. Jameer Nelson almost had himself a triple-dip as he finished with 22 points, eight rebounds and 11 assists. Orlando is still giving Boston a run for their money in conference race. The squads are currently tied for first place, but the Celtics (14-2 – .875) have a better statistical record than the Magic (16-4 – .800)

2. TD’s knee screen is clean

Gregg Popovich felt his heart sink into the pit of his stomach when Tim Duncan crumpled to the parquet on Sunday and was subsequently carried off the floor by his teammates. Well, Pop’s heart started beating again on Monday afternoon when doctors discovered no significant damage to the two-time MVP’s right knee or right ankle. There’s still no concrete timetable for when Duncan will return to the lineup for the silver and black, but the team spokesman confirmed that TD would miss the rivalry game against the Mavericks. We’re figuring that the Spurs are going to sit Duncan until he’s absolutely, undoubtedly, 100 percent healthy. Popovich ain’t no fool; he’d much rather take the extra losses than rush his goldmine back on the court too soon and risk further damage.

3. Score one for the Americans
By many accounts, Steve Nash is just about the best thing to happen to basketball since the shot clock went into effect. Other people can’t believe he has more MVPs than guys like Allen Iverson, Hakeem Olajuwon, Charles Barkley, Shaquille O’Neal, Kevin Garnett or David Robinson, to name a few. Either way you look at it, he’s about all Canada’s got when it comes to international competition. Correction: `he’s about all Canada had….

On playing for the Canadians in the 2008 Olympics, should they qualify:

I would say no, but I can’t really talk about it until the situation arrives and this season’s come to a conclusion,” Nash said. “But in my mind right now, I’m not going to play for Canada anymore. I just can’t do both.

Okay, can someone talk Manu Ginobili out of playing now?

Monday’s Player of the Day: Carlos Boozer vs. Miami 40 min, 24 pts (FG: 10-18, FT: 4-6), 15 reb, 5 ast, 4 stl, 1 blk

Tuesday’s Game to Watch: Phoenix (13-4) @ Indiana (9-9)
Phoenix’s three All-Stars have been playing accordingly all year long, but now they’re benefiting from a former All-Star who’s looking a lot like a youngster who use to dazzle in a Detroit uniform. Grant Hill might be 35 years old according to his birth certificate, but 28 points, eight rebounds, seven assists and three steals certainly doesn’t sound like the production of someone who should be using the Clapper and watching The Peoples Court according to young NBA standards. On the other side of the court, the Pacers are sporting a crew of anti-Hills. They’re young and wild and you never know what you’re going to get, good or bad. This has the potential to be a nail-biter or a blowout, just depends on which crew shows up next for coach Jim O’Brien.

Buzzer Beater: We’re seriously starting to worry about Gilbert Arenas. The guy has always been a little loopy, but now that he’s injured and without the mental drain of basketball, there’s a lot of crazy stuff backing up in his cranium. Not only is he pushing a shoe that comes with a dry erase marker so you can write messages on your kicks, but he’s also devoting his time to a project known as GilTV. It’s an interesting endeavor to say the least. Still, those aren’t the oddest tidbits of information that Agent 0 reveals in his blog.

So, Gilbert, why don’t you like to take pain pills?

I didn’t take the pills for two reasons:

1. I’m against pills in general. I think it’s a coward’s way to deal with pain. You take some pills, then the pills get you sleepy.

2. The main reason is though that it blocked my stomach up last time and I couldn’t use the restroom. I couldn’t use the restroom for like five days, and I didn’t want to go through that pain again.

T.M.I.

Categories
All Other Sports

A zamboni commits the ultimate sacrifice, goes out in a blaze of glory

Normally we’d laugh at anyone nerdy enough to spend a Friday night at the local ice skating rink, but now we feel like morons for missing out on the coolest zamboni story of the year. During intermission at an Aston, Pen., skating rink, a zamboni caught fire, causing the iron horse of ice to explode, sending a rush high schoolers fleeing into the night. Ha ha, nerds!

Somewhere out there, Chazz Michael Michaels and Jimmy MacElroy are shedding a few tears over this.

Links:

[6abc.com]: Zamboni Catches Fire Inside DelCo. Rink

Categories
San Antonio Spurs

Around the Rim: San Antoni-oh no!


1. San Antonio plays the waiting game
The Spurs grabbed their 15th victory of the season, but the win was meaningless as the organization waits patiently for the results of an MRI on Tim Duncan’s right leg on Monday. Duncan was injured in the second quarter when he tried to spin around Portland’s James Jones and then suddenly fell to the floor, clutching his knee. The immediate diagnosis was a bruised right knee and sprained right ankle and the Spurs said their star would defiantly miss some time. The injury couldn’t have occurred at a worse time as the Spurs are looking a stretch that includes six games in 13 days against some of the West’s best, including Dallas, Utah, Golden State, the Lakers, Denver and Phoenix. Ouch!

As for the game itself, SA was winning 34-28 when Duncan departed, but Portland was unable to capitalize, falling down by 13 points at halftime and 20 after three quarters. Tony Parker finished with 27 points and eight assists to lead the Spurs.

2. Boston exacts revenge, kinda

Last Tuesday, LeBron James torched the Celtics for 38 points while handing out 13 assists to give Boston its second loss of the season in an overtime instant classic. On Sunday, the two teams met for a rematch and the Celtics rolled the defending Eastern Conference champs, 80-70. Oh, did we mention LBJ missed the game, his second consecutive, with an injured finger? Cleveland hung tough with the Celtics in the first half, trailing by four at the break, but they displayed serious offensive ineptitude down the stretch without the league’s top scorer. The Cavs could only muster 11 points in the third before scoring 20 in the fourth, 12 coming in garbage time when the game was well in hand. With the King out of the lineup, two of the Leprechauns `Big Three’ basically got to take the afternoon off. Kevin Garnett finished with nine points and eight rebounds in 26 minutes while Paul Pierce had seven points. Ray Allen finished with a game-high 20 points to lead the unusually, unexplosive Celtics.

3. 21 and done
November 1999: That was the last time that New Orleans defeated Dallas; until Saturday. It took overtime, a last-second trey from Peja Stojakovic in regulation and another big-time performance from Chris Paul, but the result was well worth the effort as the Hornets snapped a 21-game losing streak to the Mavs. Thanks to Paul’s near triple-double (33 pts, 9 reb, 12 ast), NOLA is now sitting in second place in the Southwest Division – ahead of Dallas and Houston. But don’t be fooled into thinking this is a one-man show: Stojakovic is killing opponents from behind the arc while David West and Tyson Chandler are providing some seriously underrated post presence. Oh, and the Spurs are the only team in the West that holds opponents to fewer than Nawlins’ 93.3 points per game. Next up for the Hornets is a game against the Pistons in the `Hive,’ followed by contests at home against Memphis and Seattle.

Sunday’s Player of the Day: Chris Kaman vs. Indiana 40 min, 22 pts (FG: 7-14, FT: 8-10), 22 reb, 1 ast, 5 blk

Monday’s Game to Watch: Orlando (15-4) @ Golden State (9-7)
Nobody in the NBA is hotter than the Magic or the Warriors after both picked up victories last night over the Lakers and Sonics, respectively. There were some early season questions surrounding the slow-starting Warriors, but everything fell into place when Stephen Jackson returned from his suspension and Golden State is back to their run-and-run-and-run-and-gun style offense, averaging 108.6 points per game (1st). Of course, those points at the rim won’t be easy to come by with Dwight Howard patrolling the paint. Howard is off to a `Defensive Player of the Year’ start to the season, leading the league in rebounds (15.0 rpg) and ranking third in blocks (2.67 bpg).

Buzzer Beater: Stephon Marbury is known for making outlandish statements, so it was no surprise that he was at it again before the Knicks played the Suns on Sunday.

After all the hoopla, we’ve won three of the last four,” Marbury said. “Normally when that happens, you’re getting praised.

“At the end of the season, we’ll be where we want to be.

Wait, do you guys want to be in the lottery because 5-11 teams that get decimated by 45 points don’t usually make the playoffs. We’re just saying.