Author: clay

Categories
San Antonio Spurs

Is Jesus rooting for the Spurs?

The Phoenix/San Antonio series is quickly becoming one of the most exciting match-ups in recent history and the two fan bases are slowly becoming more and more desperate to put a hurtin’ on the other. But, in reality, there is nothing that the faithful fans can do other than root, root, root for the home team. Or is there? The Sisters of Charity of the Incarnate Word in San Antonio think they might have a secret weapon lined up to help their boys beat those darn Suns. His name…God!

So, will the Lord will the Spurs to victory tonight? Or does he want to see a classic Game 7 back in Arizona like the rest of the nation? Guess we won’t find out until the Game 6 wraps up this evening, but we’re just glad that it sounds like God is going to forgive Robert Horry for his forearm shot to Steve Nash. It would have really sucked to be banned from heaven over a flagrant foul.

Links:

[WOAI.com]: Divine Team Spirit: Local Nuns Pray For The Spurs

Categories
NBA General

Around the Rim: Detroit is going home, and that’s a good thing


1. Detroit makes the East finals, again
Detroit was on the verge of giving up a 3-0 lead to the Chicago Bulls but the Pistons went into Chi-Town for Game 5 and sealed up their fifth consecutive trip to the Eastern Conference finals with a 95-85 victory. In typical Detroit fashion, there was no flash or flare from any one player; it was just nine role players falling into line for the one uniting cause. The former Bad Boy and current Baby Bull Ben Wallace had to be extra disgusted as his old team celebrated in his new arena after he could only muster six points and seven rebounds in the elimination situation. Now that’s one stone cold fro! So, now there’s only thing on Detroit’s mind…

2. Who’s coming with us?

The Cavaliers will have another chance to put away those pesky Nets but this time they are going to have to do it with an arena full of fans telling `em that they suck. Then again, some Cleveland fans were making it rain boos during the fourth quarter as the Cavs shot just 3-of-16 in the period and didn’t make a bucket in the final 6:58 of the game. If Jason Kidd can manage to give another Big O type effort then this series will most likely be headed to the most loved and feared prospect in the playoffs: Game 7. Kidd is just short of averaging a triple-double for the series (14.4 pts, 11.8 reb, 8.8 ast), but don’t feel bad for the guy; after all, he is averaging a triple dip over the entire playoffs. That’s an amazing average of 14.2 points, 10.8 rebounds and 11.2 assists over an 11 game stretch! And so we don’t overlook his defensive production, we should also point out that Kidd is also 1.82 steals and .45 blocks per game. He’s a virtual human Swiss Army Knife.

3. And on the other side of the bracket
We know that the Utah Jazz are patiently awaiting the winner of the Phoenix/San Antonio series, but what we don’t know is if we are going to be witness to one or two more big time brawls before the West finals are set. The Suns fans are still pissed about the Amare Stoudemire and Boris Diaw suspensions for Game 5 in which the Spurs barely escaped Phoenix with victory and a 3-2 series edge, but obviously Mike D’Antoni and his staff are no longer concerned with the past. They can’t be; it’s time to win or go home as the old saying goes. The Spurs have got to be a bit worried after the Stoudemireless Suns almost bucked the odds because Steve Nash now has his favorite target back in the lineup which has got to be giving Gregg Popovich some serious stress headaches. Luckily, San Antonio will have the advantage of playing at home with a raucous crowd yelling at the top of their lungs. We just hope that they can come up with something a little more clever than “Dirty! Dirty!”

Thursday’s Player of the Day: Rasheed Wallace @ Chicago 39 min, 16 pts (FG: 7-14, 3FG: 2-8, FT: 0-1), 13 reb, 4 ast, 2 blk

Buzzer Beater: First the USA Basketball committee tried to put together a team of NBA superstars who were supposed to razzle-dazzle the international competition, but instead they just got exposed for the selfish hot dogers they were. So, then the masterminds decided that they would go after the hungrier, grittier ballers who weren’t afraid to get their hands dirty against the scrappy Euros and other quickly acclimating squads. That’s a much better strategy than trying to assemble another Dream Team except for when those hardnosed guys decide to turn you down. Recently crowned defensive player of the year Marcus Camby told USA Basketball that although it was a great honor, he would not be able to accept their invitation to participate in the qualifiers for the 2008 Olympics. So, now where does the red, white and blue look for their presence in the middle? None of the superstars are walking through that door, to steal a phrase, and the lower tier Cambys and Brad Millers of the league have other agendas (family, rehab, vacation, rolling in money) and don’t want to be part of the humiliation that has become USA Basketball. That gold medal is just becoming more and more unrealistic with every day that passes.

Categories
General Sports

The Portland Beavers are giving away bobbleheads of a total stranger. Yippie!

Baseball is known for their oh so stupid promotions to get fans in the park and butts in the seats. And to borrow a quote from one of the greatest cinematic features of all time:

Just when I thought you couldn’t get any dumber, you go and do something like this… and totally redeem yourself!

The Portland Beavers are the Triple-A affiliate of the Los Angeles Dodgers and they decided that they would give away bobblehead dolls to the first 2,000 through the gates on August 18. But these aren’t going to be just any normal bobbleheads; no, the Beavers have put their own unique twist on the giveaway. Back in February, the promotions team decided to make “Bobblehead” day into “Bob L. Head” day and assembled a long list of people whose legal name was Bob L. Head (or any version of Bob, such as Bobby, Robert or Roberto).

Now, the list has been narrowed down to three lucky Bobs and it is up to you to determine which one makes the final cut. Voting will last through the end of the month but you can only vote once per computer. So, there will be no unfair stuffing of the ballot box for all you desperate folks who want Bob Lee Head from Indiana to win. But be sure to inform yourself about each of the candidates before you hit that Vote button because this is no laughing matter we’re talking about. 2,000 Bob L. Head bobbleheads are on the line here and even though we have no idea what it’s like to have a toy made in our image, we’re guessing that it feels a little something like this:

Links:

[PortlandBeavers.com]: Get Out the Vote: Bob L. Head race down to three
[OregonLive.com]: Early Bob L. Head nod goes to…

Categories
Phoenix Suns

Phoenix’s public enemy #1: Big Shot Bob


In case you haven’t noticed, the Phoenix Suns and their fans are just a little angry with Robert Horry. His infamous forearm to Steve Nash in the final moments of Game 4 sent shockwaves through the NBA as Big Shot Rob’s actions coaxed Amare Stoudemire and Boris Diaw off the Suns bench which earned the duo a pair of suspensions for Game 5. It’s arguable that the flagrant foul ended up costing the Suns the pivotal fifth game and possibly the series. So, AZCentral.com has come up with this creative method of allowing the Phoenix faithful to gain a small measure of revenge against Horry; even though it was their own player’s stupid decisions that kept them out of the arena on Wednesday night. We present to you… Whack-A-Horry.

Sure, it’s not nearly as much fun as the arcade version but how could it be without the feel of a giant padded mallet in your hands. But if it can calm the rage of a city then we say whack away. It might seem a bit silly to sit at your desk and virtually beat the crap out of an animated Horry head but it is a hell of a lot better than how Raiders fans decide to take out their frustrations.

Links:

[WOAI.com]: Whack-A-Horry: Arizona Website Posts Anger-Venting Game For Suns’ Fans

Categories
NBA General

Inside the NBA and sound bites; a match made in heaven

There’s only one thing we love more than an NBA playoff game, well there is that high school pole vaulter…ok, so there’s two things we love more than an NBA playoff game: apparently pole vaulting and, of course, an NBA playoff game on TNT. See, ordinary playoff coverage on ABC and ESPN brings you the facts and nothing but the facts. How boring. But the fellas at Inside the NBA show their audience that the game goes beyond the 48 minutes spent sweating on the court. So if you missed any of the great late night action with EJ, the Jet and Chuckles then here’s a quick recap.

It is going to be one sad day indeed when Charles Barkley decides to hang up his microphone. Mainly because it means that he’ll probably be running for governor of Alabama, but also because we won’t get to hear classic phrases like “Go to that box! Go to that box! And punish them midgets!” But we figure that with a mouth that big there is now way to avoid blunders of gubernatorial proportions should he get elected. Hey, if two steroid pumping meatheads from Predator can get into office then we’re saddened to say that Sir Cumference probably can too.

Categories
NBA General

Around the Rim: Another ESPN Instant Classic was just born



And this was the scene before the game.

1. Phoenix gets burned in the Valley of the Sun
Game 5 between the Spurs and the Suns was a tale of two halves. The first half saw Shawn Marion light up the jumbotron with 20 points and 11 rebounds en route to an 11 point lead at the break as San Antonio was a nonexistent 0-of-7 from behind the arc. Fast forward past the Frisbee catching dog or whatever ridiculous half time gimmick the Suns front office pulled out of the hat for this game and in the second half, the Spurs were a very existent 8-of-16 from three land as Marion could only score four points and grab six boards over the final 12 minutes. Algebra 101 taught us that if you add those two halves together you get an 88-85 San Antonio victory, which is equal to one whole win for the guys in black; giving the Spurs a grand total of a 3-2 lead in the series. And you thought we slept our way through high school. The Suns fought a heck of a fight without their All-NBA first teamer Amare Stoudemire and Boris Diaw but Manu Ginobili played terrific down the stretch, minus a few unforgivable turnovers, while Bruce Bowen and Michael Finley hit several ginormous shots. Throw in the usual 20 point, 10 rebound, 3 block (21, 12 and 5 to be exact) game from Tim Duncan and the incredibly unyielding NBA rulebook and it all simply added up to odds that Phoenix just couldn’t overcome.

2. Like nats, the Nets just won’t go away

There must be something in the water over in the Eastern Conference because the Nets, like the Bulls, keep finding a way to avoid elimination and keep their postseason hopes alive. Perhaps they’re using the Vitamin Water that failed to get Tracy McGrady out of the first round but allowed him to perform one of the sweetest sheep tosses ever caught on camera. Now, Game 5 between the Nets and Cavs was nowhere near being as interesting as the Highland Games, but how could it when the final score was 83-72 and the Nets won despite scoring just six points in the final quarter on 1-of-15 shooting. Still, what the game lacked in excitement, it certainly made up for in importance as the Nets are now within one game, 3-2, of Cleveland with the series headed back to Jersey for Game 6. Whatever the mystery substance might be that New Jersey is chuggin’, they certainly didn’t share any of it with LeBron James. His royal highness finished the game with just 20 points as he missed nine of his 14 field goal attempts. Thank goodness for free throws.

3. Whoa No Nellie!
He’s only been back behind the clipboard for a year now, but Don Nelson could be done with the Golden State franchise that he rapidly resurrected into the feel-good story of the year. Well, at least until they got eliminated by the Jazz they were. And forget about all their poor sportsmanship that resulted in tons o’ techs and flagrant fouls. But, other than that, totally a feel-good story. Still, Nellie might not be ready to write another chapter in this book because, as he says, he’s “not so sure it’s important that I stay on.” C’mon, Nelson, stop being modest. This team would be on the fast track to a Jailblazers-esque reputation without the Don around to keep this fast paced squad in check, both on and off the court. Talk about a fork in the road! Golden State could grow into a Western Conference contender with Nelson at the helm or they can take their old position alongside the Clippers, Hawks and Bobcats of the league with some other ham-fisted, poor excuse of a coach. Fans of The City better hope Nellie feels like his body can take another yearlong beatdown or they can forget about using those yellow “We Believe” shirts for anything other than wearing to the gym.

Wednesday’s Player of the Day: Shawn Marion vs. San Antonio 46 min, 24 pts (FG: 9-16, 3FG: 2-4, FT: 4-4), 17 reb, 1 ast, 1 stl, 1 blk

Buzzer Beater: Mark Cuban is one of the most annoying, childish and arrogant human beings to ever walk the face of the earth. Oh, and he cries like a baby too! Having said that, he also makes some pretty solid points from time to time. After all, he didn’t become a billionaire by being an idiot. So, as much as it pains us to agree with this jackass, here’s an excerpt of what Cubes had to say about the Spurs/Suns suspensions in his blog.

First, let me go on the record as saying that in the event that a vote comes up to change the rules about suspensions for players leaving the bench, I will vote against changing it.

Why ? Because its incredibly simple to educate players about the rule. Its a rule they fully understand and they understand the consequences of violating the rule. That makes the NBA stronger because it removes uncertainty. Can it result in a game(s) being impacted , yes. However, that impact results from an action a player knew violated the rules and was a mistake. There is no uncertainty about it. All they had to do was not leave the bench.

Categories
NHL General

Wednesday Morning NHL Roundup



And you thought that Steve Nash took a nasty
check!

Red Wings 5, Ducks 0
The postseason in both sports currently experiencing it can get many titles – “Not that interesting” and “Lacking Individual Stars” come to mind – but here’s one I’d like to go with: “Men Behaving Badly.”

Nary a night after Robert Horry made Suns vs. Spurs Game 4 look like a hockey game, Chris Pronger whips out a nasty hit in the middle of Anaheim just getting laughed off their own ice in Game 3. Now the Wings are up 2-1, Pronger could get some type of disciplinary action, and here’s the aftermath for you, dear fan: out of all the potentially interesting Cup Finals Matchups – say, Buffalo vs. Detroit (Hasek), or Anaheim vs. Buffalo (two really good teams) – we’re likely going to get Ottawa vs. Detroit.

Now, I have no problem with this, per se: Ottawa’s first line is redonkeyballs, and there’s some good storylines there within. But, can the brothers on the ice and the hardwood just start being civil so that we can play these games full strength and see who really deserves a shot to lift the hardware? I hate tainted outcomes, unless I’m the one that cheated and did so successfully. But that was once – third grade dodgeball – and never again.

[Ted Bauer will be covering the NHL playoffs for us this year. You can find more of Ted’s work at A Price Above Bip Roberts.]

Categories
NFL General

Mark Schlereth shows TV land why people call him Stink

We don’t usually talk about soap operas here at Sportscolumn, but when one of our favorite talking heads from ESPN decides to join the cast of Guiding Light, it tends to grab our attention.

You probably know him as the guy with the great hair on NFL Live or you might know him as Stink from his days with the Broncos. But regardless of how you know Mark Schlereth, you can now start to refer to him as Roc Hoover. Don’t believe us? Check it out for yourself.

What’s next? Is Barry Melrose going to join the crew of Laguna Beach?

It’s probably safe to say that Roc is going to be looked at a bit differently by his co-workers and ex teammates now. But who really cares? After all, Schlereth could be sharing the set with the next Eva Longoria. Perhaps they’ll even twist his arm and get him to hop in the sack with one of the daytime divas for a cheesy love scene. And, if you ask us, that’s not too bad of a way to earn a few extra bucks.

Categories
New York Mets

Lastings Milledge is bringing sexism back



L Millz might sound like a rapper, but does he
have one of these?

Lastings Milledge has been in and out of trouble and controversy since he was in high school, so his latest troubles shouldn’t be anything new to “L Millz.” But that’s doesn’t mean that it isn’t going to further piss off a Mets front office that is already getting sick of Milledge’s actions.

Milledge is the CEO of Soul-ja Boi records, but instead of letting his talent spit rhymes while he rakes in the dough, Milledge had to open his big mouth and let some typical rap lyrics come flying out. During the song entitled “Bend Ya Knees,” in which Milledge is featured alongside his boy Manny D, Lastings uses phrases like “rich (N word),” “wealthy (N word),” a “top-notch ho” and even mentions how he has “a different bitch for every night.” Oh, Tupac would be so proud; but unfortunately for Milledge, Tupac is dead (at least that’s what we’re told) and with the whole Don Imus thing fresh in everyone’s minds there are tons of people ready to pounce on potty mouthed rappers. Like city councilmen, for example.

He’s lost his mind,” said City Councilman Leroy Comrie (D-Queens), who sponsored the Council’s resolution that condemned use of the N word. “I don’t understand how he could, in the spirit of Jackie Robinson, put out music that’s so vile, using . . . some of the worst words in music.

Or the bigwigs who sign his checks.

We disapprove of the content, language and message of this recording, which does not represent the views of the New York Mets,” a statement from the Mets front office said.

But, hey, this is honestly a step up for L Millz, believe it or not. It definitely beats the hell out of allegedly having sex with 12 and 13-year-old girls.

Links:

[Newsday.com]: Milledge offensive player on a CD
[NYDailyNews.com]: Lastings’ latest bad rap

Categories
Ottawa Senators

Another stupid song takes a city by storm

Every time the playoffs come rolling around in any sport, it can only mean one thing: it’s time for some opportunistic musician to exploit the occasion by making a crummy song about some team that attempts to unify a city’s dreams. In Ottawa that opportunistic musician is local rapper Belly and that crummy song is cleverly entitled “Go Sens Go.”

I’m a Sens fan like everybody else,” Belly says. “I just wanted to get the team hyped every time they got out on the ice.

We don’t know if the song is actually hyping up the players necessarily since it has only been played inside the arena once, which was during Monday night’s win in Ottawa that gave the team a 3-0 lead in the East finals, but it certainly appears to be mesmerizing the locals. Since debuting the song last Thursday, as many as 50 calls per hour have been flooding the Hot 89.9 station. So, without further ado, we give to you “Go Sens Go;” crappy voiceover by Ray Emery at the beginning and all.

Did we just see Snoop sporting a Senators jersey? Damn, talk about a jumping on the bandwagon! Last month Snoopy was rooting for the Ducks and now this. And what ever happened to being purple and gold through and through? This guy jumped on The City’s postseason wagon as well. What’s next? Are we going to start seeing The Dogfather in the stands in Salt Lake City during the West finals?

Links:

[Canada.com]: Rapper psyched for Sens