Categories
All Other Sports

We never figured Dennis Rodman was a Bentley sorta guy, but this is ridiculous


We know that Dennis Rodman is a pretty strange cat and all, but, seriously, who the hell drives around in a tank with naked girls and big-haired trolls painted on it?!?! This is the most appalling vehicle ever released on U.S. soil. He should be ashamed of himself for even stepping foot inside that thing. But we gotta admit, having his image painted on the rear window is actually kinda cool.

Oh, and according to TMZ he parked in a handicap spot. That’s totally negates the self promoting cartoon’s coolness.

While at Hennessey’s Tavern in Dana Point, Calif. on Sunday, it looked like the 46-year-old former NBA star parked his graffitied, gas-guzzling urban assault vehicle in a handicap accessible spot. Well, he has always been a little special!

Rodman’s rep tells TMZ, “Dennis would never do something like that, and he was driven around all weekend . His driver might have done it and left the car there for a short time. Dennis would never do something like that.

Of course he wouldn’t. He’ll kick you in the balls for doing your job, but he would never park in a handicap spot. That’s just not nice.

Links:

[TMZ]: Rodman’s Hummer Handicapped

Categories
Soccer

Don’t worry WNBA, you’re not the only ones who get asked that question


We never have been big fans of soccer, considering how we as Americans are totally oblivious to fact that sport even exists except when our morning SportsCenter is continually canceled for some boring women’s `futbol’ match between Zimbabwe and Northern Hungary. So, seeing that we can’t stand the game, we really think their refs have a crappy job. Except for this guy, he’s having way too much fun out on the pitch.

But we never realized just how lame their lives were until we heard that the refs at a recent women’s soccer match were reduced to performing nut checks to verify genders of the players.

Banyana Banyana coach Augustine Makalakalane has described as mischievous claims allegedly made by a top Ghanaian official that SA used a male player in their Olympic qualifier at the Caledonian Stadium last month.

“I don’t know what the official is up to, but what he is quoted as saying can be best described as utter rubbish,” fumed Makalakalane. “We’ve never cheated and maybe he should consult with his captain in future before he makes such irresponsible comments.

“Fact of the matter is that they raised a suspicion against our striker, Alice Noko Matlou from Limpopo and the officiating referee made an inspection in our dressing room in the present of the Ghana captain. After everyone concerned was satisfied that our player was a girl, she was allowed to feature in the game. The referee would not have allowed her to be part of the game if Alice or anyone else was indeed male.

“If it is indeed correct that the Ghanaian official has said this, then I’m personally disappointed with his conduct. But if it’s an attempt to play mind games against us ahead of the return game in Ghana in December, then let me inform them that we are not only bringing Alice, but the whole Banyana Banyana. They can also expect another player with male features in our team for that contest, and that will still not be cheating,” he said.

Sure, looking down a soccer chick’s pants might sound cool, but you gotta realize that if you have to look down her pants to determine if it’s a dude or a lady then she’s probably not the Jennie Finch or Anna Kournikova kinda athlete. But this practice could be useful here in America; after all, if our refs would perform inspections like this then Christian Laettner would have never been allowed to taint the Dream Team.

Links:

[The Offside]: Genitalia Inspection now part of Referees’ job description
[SuperSoccer.co.za]: Banyana dispute gender cheating claims
[The Sun]: Spot the ball please, ref

Categories
Denver Nuggets

Over five years later and we’re still not talkin’ bout the game

In our opinion, it was one of the single greatest moments in the history of sports. It’s a clip that gets played with regularity around here and it takes us back to a time that will never be recreated again. So, what are we talking about? You got it, we’re talkin’ bout practice.

You might be wondering why we’re bringing this up right now; well, it turns out that AI wishes he had never said it. What you talkin’ bout Allen?!

It was just being young and definitely immature. I wish it wouldn’t have ever happened,” he says during an appearance on Fox SportNet’s “Best Damn Sports Show Period.”

The interview, which took place Wednesday, will air tonight.

“But you learn from experiences like that . . . I think it sent the wrong message, especially to kids. You can’t be a scoring champion and an MVP and an All-Star and all of that without practice . . . I didn’t want kids to get the message that you don’t need to practice because when you’re not practicing, someone else is out there practicing, getting better.

C’mon, man, don’t be so hard on yourself. That’s like saying that MLK should have never had a dream or that JFK shouldn’t have requested that we ask what we can do for our country. Maybe we should just forget all about how the Beastie Boys told us to fight for our right to party too.

Embrace your history AI. No matter what you say, you will always be that loudmouth, coach-hating, scoring machine to us. And we will always be talkin’ bout practice.

Links:

[Philly.com]: Iverson regrets bad talkin’ bout practice, bad talkin’ bout practice

Categories
All Other Sports

OJ Simpson used his one phone call to check his voicemail

Last week we brought you a voice recording that surfaced of OJ Simpson as he went all Mafioso on some sports memorabilia guys. Well, there’s been another incredible find and it just reaffirms the fact that it really sucks to be the Juice.

Sorry, OJ, but if Johnny Cochran’s in heaven or hell then you’re going to jail.

Links:

[Our Book of Scrap]: The Juice Checks His Messages From The Slam

Categories
Boston Celtics

Kevin Garnett might be skinny, but he’s strong as an ox

Kevin Garnett spent 12 seasons with the Timberwolves before the Celtics came along and plucked him from the land of futility. Now that he’s in a much better place, KG is able to take a deep breath and just relax knowing that he’s not alone any more. You’d never expect his wiry frame to support the dead weight of a franchise for that long, but he did.

The Kid might not have a ring, but you’d never catch Kobe Bryant carrying the hopes of Hollywood to a losing record every year with a smile on his face.

Categories
All Other Sports

Be careful `drunk bowler’! You’ll crush someone’s head with that thing

When we decide to bring you bowling clips, there are really only three types that can even make the cut. We can bring you some loser impressing himself with a little trickeration:

Or we could bring you some in-competition perfection:

Or, we could just show a guy who is way too sloshed to be renting lice infested shoes:

We never thought we’d say this, but round up the fellas and a suitcase of Bud. We’re going bowling!

Categories
General Sports

When did the 40-year-old virgin become a news anchor?

This has absolutely nothing to do with sports, but there was no way we could hoard a clip of some local television baboon having foreplay with a digitized woman to ourselves.

All right `farting sports guy‘; you are no longer the most humiliated man in newsroom. We’re guessing if that clip went on for just a few more seconds he’d bust out with “Tune in Tokyo. Tune in Tokyo.”

Links:

[Awful Announcing]: During A Breast Milk Story A Local News Broadcaster……Umm, Just Watch The Video

Categories
College Football

Chris Crocker wannabe defends Tommy Tuberville

As scary as it is to admit, Chris Crocker has become a household name in America thanks to the countless Hollywood gossip shows and blogs that elevated him her it to semi-star status with their constant play of a whiny, crying jig following blubbery Britney’s performance at the VMAs. Well, apparently the Crocker craze has spawned imitators. And some of those imitators are more passionate about football than Crocker is about Brit. Scary, huh?

“You gotta problem with him, you come see me; you BASTARDS!!!”

Categories
Soccer

Soccer showoff gets no respect for his skills from his peers

We don’t know a lot about soccer, but we do know that most of these guys enjoy a good fight. So, when some punk decides to stop using his feet and begins to rely solely on bouncing the ball on his head like a seal, you know that someone is gonna get pissed. Luckily for us, that someone delivered a hit to `seal boy’ that would make Ray Lewis beam with pride.

Don’t you wish Lefty would have the same reaction should Tiger ever decide to get cocky and do his little ball-bouncing wizardry at the course again? Okay, maybe it’s just us.

Links:

[The Offside]: A Seal Clubbing in Brazilian Football

Categories
All Other Sports

You’d think rubber balls would cushion your impact, but you’d be wrong

We’ve brought you plenty of crazy `sports’ in the past; some of `em were pretty cool, some of `em were complete wastes of time, *cough**cough*finger jousting*cough*. But we think we might have hit another homer with the discovery of our latest favorite pastime. So, without further ado, we bring to you BallBall, or, as it is more commonly known, “the sport for idiots.” While we couldn’t agree more with the catchy moniker, we also can’t wait to give it a go.

Links:

[Seal Clubbers]: This Is Gold Jerry! Gold!