Categories
College Football

Jump on in, the dumpster sludge feels great this time of year!

We know that different people have different hobbies and we try not to judge other people too harshly based on what they do in their free time, but when it comes to Boston College safety Jamie Silva we’ll make an exception. Dude, you’re gross.

Ewwwww!

So, because Silva is a freak, some sideline reporter has to jump into a dumpster and fish around for hair gel? Hey, at least it is somewhat refreshing to know that the women aren’t the only ones at ESPN who get treated like, ahem, garbage.

Links:

[Awful Announcing]: Quint Kessenich Is A Team Player, Jumps In Dumpster

Categories
College Football

Tim Tebow is running over the Heisman competition


After the Gators suffered their third loss of the season and slipped in the SEC East standings, it appeared as if the Ducks’ Dennis Dixon had slid into the role of the nation’s best dual threat quarterback and the leader in the Heisman race. Well, seven touchdowns and a romping of the Ol’ Ball Coach have a way of making someone forget about `quality losses’ to Auburn, LSU and Georgia.

Tim Tebow did everything but throw a touchdown pass to himself during Florida’s 51-31 thumping of the Gamecocks. Superman racked up 304 yards and two touchdowns on 22-of-32 passing to go along with his five rushing scores and 120 yards on the ground. The sophomore signal caller has scored a rushing touchdown in 11 consecutive games which is a school record and the longest such streak in the nation. His 19 rushing scores are the most for a quarterback in SEC history and he smashed some guy named Emmitt Smith’s school record for rushing touchdowns in a single season, which was 14.

It’s pretty hard to imagine that a major school can actually survive when only one player is responsible for almost an entire offense, especially in such a difficult conference, but that is exactly what the Gators are doing. Against South Carolina, Tebow accounted for 424 of Florida’s 537 total yards of offense! That’s 80 percent!

And this is nothing new for Urban Meyer’s winner. On the season, Tebow has personally accumulated 3,250 yards of offense (2,532 pass, 718 rush) and 42 touchdowns. Florida as a team has 4,502 yards and 53 scores on offense. In other words, Tebow’s good for 72 percent of their yards and 79 percent of their scoring. That’s as close to a one-man-band as you’ll find in today’s game.

The insanity of the season should level the playing field, seeing as how there will probably be no clear-cut `best player on the best team’ excuse for voters to fall back on. This is a good thing because we were starting to hear some `Todd Boeckman for Heisman’ chatter. Instead, this could be the year in which the trophy is actually given to truly the best player in the nation. And in that case, you can start engraving Tim Tebow on the name plate right now.

Links:

[AJC.com]: Tebow has career-high 5 rushing TDs to lead Gators

Categories
Houston Rockets

Around the Rim: Wow-wee, Yao, Yi!



Yup, it’s that big.

1. Big players, big audience
The most anticipated game in the world will go down tonight as two of the league’s giants match-up. To Americans it’s the Rockets and the Bucks, but to the Chinese it’s Yao Ming vs. Yi Jianlian. The two sensations from China go head-to-head for the first time tonight and the game is expected to be seen by more than 200 million people in China. Over there it will be early Saturday morning and instead of cartoons, 19 different TV stations will broadcast the game, including the country’s government-run station, and it will be offered on the web. People can even watch the game on their cell phones. Of course, here in the States, ESPN is showing Denver and Washington. Nice call guys.

2. Mavs beat Warriors a few months too late

Sure, it doesn’t matter, but the Mavericks finally got a small measure of revenge against the Warriors. It was another nail-biting, down-to-the-wire contest between the clubs with Jerry Stackhouse hitting a dagger shot in the final minute that led to Dallas’ 120-115 victory. Barron Davis did everything he could to try and carry his team, including a sweet reverse slam off the backboard, but his 37 points just weren’t enough and Golden States slips to 0-5. Davis had a shot late to tie the game up, but it didn’t fall. Stephen Jackson missed the game due to a suspension and it’s arguable that , had he played, the Warriors might not be winless. Of course that’s making the huge assumption that he could actually stay on the court for an entire game and not get slapped with a pair of techs.

3. Seattle’s permanent road trip
There’s been much speculation around the future of the Seattle SuperSonics and their possible relocation to become the Oklahoma SuperSonics. David Stern weighed in on the situation Thursday and he pretty much told the Seattle faithful that they are screwed should the team bolt. “I’d love to find a way to keep the team there,” Stern said, “because if the team moves, there’s not going to be another team there, not in any conceivable future plan that I could envision, and that would be too bad.” Those are pretty harsh words, but it shouldn’t be that difficult of an adjustment for the fans. After all, Seattle hasn’t really had a team since Gary Payton was lobbing alley-oops to Shawn Kemp in the 90s.

Thursday’s Player of the Day: Baron Davis vs. Dallas 48 min, 37 pts (FG: 14-26, 3FG: 3-6, FT: 6-9), 5 reb, 5 ast, 1 stl

Friday’s Game to Watch: San Antonio (4-1) @ New Orleans (4-1)
We know that all of China will be watching Milwaukee @ Houston, but we’re telling you that SA/NO is where the action will be. We know exactly what to expect on one side of the ball; the Spurs are still the Spurs and they are still playing Spurs ball with the same Spurs cast. It’s the Hornets who are turning heads early in the year. Chris Paul is playing lights-out, averaging 18.6 points and 12.4 assists to go along with the team’s emerging duo of Tyson Chandler and Peja Stojakovic who serve as the inside/outside threats. New Orleans should give the Spurs a run for their money in this game and possibly the entire season as they both race toward the Southwest Division championship.

Buzzer Beater: Going into last night’s game, the Bulls were winless and their rivals, the Pistons, were lossless. So, of course, both streaks would be snapped by the end of the night as Chicago beat Detroit 97-93. Nobody actually thought that the Bulls were a 0-4 caliber team after starting the season slowly and they proved everyone right as they rallied around a huge night from Tyrus Thomas (19 pts, 14 reb). Luol Deng chipped in 17 points, Ben Gordon had 16 and Kirk Hinrich dished out 14 assists. Joakim Noah even shut his trap long enough to score the third and fourth points of his career. The Pistons aren’t washed up by any stretch of the imagination, but this could be the beginning of a big year for the Bulls as they look to shed the final pounds from their Baby Bulls image.

Categories
College Football

McFadden. Meet McFadden, buy his prehistoric Flintstones gear


It’s never too early to start thinking about next year’s Halloween costume. Most people will wait until the last minute and end up with some stupid Flintstones costume, but if you’re proactive then next year you could impress everybody at the big party with your stupid Flintstones’ costume that was once worn by Darren McFadden.

The Fred Flintstone and Barney Rubble costumes Arkansas’ Bedrock backfield of Darren McFadden and Felix Jones sported on Halloween are going up for auction on www.Hogwired.com Thursday afternoon with the proceeds going to charity.

The auction will be open for more than a week and will close on Friday, Nov. 16, at 3 p.m. Both costumes will be sold together and will include an autographed picture of Darren and Felix wearing the costumes.

The money from the auction will be split with half being donated to Darren’s hometown Boys and Girls Club in Little Rock, while the other half of the proceeds will go to the Boys and Girls Club in Felix’s hometown of Tulsa, Okla.

Both Darren and Felix donned the costumes on Halloween and attended classes, mingled with students and then met the media at the student union during lunch.

Uh-oh, this guy seems pretty uninhibited and he’s willing to make himself the butt of jokes. Watch your back, Clinton Portis; McFadden’s impending arrival to Sunday football could mean the end of your role as the league’s goofiest goofball.

Links:

[ArkansasOnline.com]: McFadden and Jones’ Halloween Costumes Go Up for Auction for Charity

Categories
Dallas Cowboys

Terrell Owens’ terrible towel gets him a $10K fine



No, not that towel.

We know that the NFL is trying to cut down on all the coordinated touchdown celebrations, but the league’s policing of the new rules have almost become as ridiculous as the skits themselves.

During Philadelphia’s loss crushing defeat complete annihilation humiliating obliteration by Dallas on Sunday, Terrell Owens went T.O. after scoring a touchdown and started waving around the “Terrell Owens Official Touchdown Towel” on the sideline. Like most things that Owens does, the league didn’t like it and they slapped him with a $10,000 fine on Thursday.

It’s stuff like that,” Owens said. “People try to make a big deal out of it. It’s not any different than Chad (Johnson) going to the sidelines and taking (out) a coat. All I had was a little towel, and now they want to make that into a big deal.

We gotta agree with the ego maniac on this one. We thought the commish was concerned with end zone celebrations, not sideline celebrations. Pretty soon these guys are going to have to start dancing in the parking lots if they want to have some fun after a score. Ahh, but there’s a catch to Roger Goodell’s madness because he didn’t fine Owens for his actual celebration, he went even more nitpicky and pulled out the “violating league uniform and equipment rules” card.

We know that you’re probably feeling like you’re always being picked on T.O. and you probably are. But look at it this way, Tank Johnson’s return to the league and debut with the Cowboys has to drop you down a notch on the `bad boy’ Cowboy list. Your stock has to increase in the eyes of the league, right? Right??

Links:

[MSNBC.com]: No Fun League? T.O. fined for waving towel
[DallasNews.com]: Towel costs Dallas Cowboys’ Owens $10K

Categories
NBA General

Around the Rim: The league is upside-down from last year


1. Role reversals
The season is just getting underway and there is still a whole lotta basketball to be played, but we always love looking to see who the last teams to grab victories are and who the final clubs to suffer defeats are. This year is a classic case of “What the …???”

For the undefeateds, we’ve got the Pistons at 3-0 (no shocker there) and then there’s Boston at 3-0. That’s a heck of a turnaround from last year’s routine double-digit losing streaks, but Kevin Garnett, Ray Allen and a healthy Paul Pierce make winning much easier; even in Boston. Out West, the lone team without a blemish is the Clippers (4-0). But, give `em time, they’re the Clippers, this can’t last too long, right?

Turning our attention to the big losers of the league and immediately we see some usual suspects: Seattle is 0-5 (Kevin Durant’s still too skinny to carry a team) and Minnesota is sitting at 0-3. But what really caught our eye were all the playoff caliber teams who were anemic in the W column. Chicago (0-4), Washington (0-3), Miami (0-4) and Golden State (0-4) have all dropped into the cellar after making the second season last year. Miami we are willing to barely overlook seeing that D-Wade isn’t breaking ankles, but other than that, these guys should be ashamed of their play. Golden State has the most to worry about, already falling four games back in a division that houses the surprising Clippers, the Suns and the Lakers.

2. The Diesel’s needle broke off

After seeing the Spurs handle Miami with ease last night, 88-78, one thing became glaringly clear and it is not that the Heat desperately needs Dwyane Wade in the lineup. No, as much as it pains us to say it, Shaquille O’Neal’s days are numbered. It’s been clear for some time now that the Diesel is on the decline, but that decline has finally leveled out and Shaq is sitting in the pit of a crater that’s about 10,000 feet below sea level. Say what you want about saving gas for the down the stretch, but in four games this year, Shaq has 51 points, 26 rebounds and six blocks to go with six assists and zero steals. That was a typical game during O’Neal’s heyday. Oh, and the Heat are 0-4. Slow start to the season? No; this is the creeping finish of a career.

3. What’s up with the Hawks?
If the Hawks could ever make it to the finals they’d be set. So far, those wild and wacky Hawks are playing some impassioned ball. Against their Eastern Conference foes, Atlanta is 0-2 with a couple of close losses to Detroit and New Jersey. But against the big boys, the studs from out west, the Hawks are 2-0. They opened the season with a 101-94 victory over the Mavs and last night they set the Suns with a 105-96 win. Granted, Amare Stoudemire wasn’t on the court during the game, but Grant Hill, Shawn Marion, Boris Diaw, Steve Nash and Raja Bell is still an imposing starting five. This Hotlanta crew could be the real deal with Josh Smith, Al Horford, Joe Johnson and Acie Law IV leading the way, but growing pains are inevitable. However, if these guys continue to gel then they could be in contention for a division title against a weakened Southeast.

Wednesday’s Player of the Day: LeBron James @ Utah 41 min, 32 pts (FG: 12-27, 3FG: 1-4, FT: 7-15), 15 reb, 13 ast, 3 stl, 2 blk

Thursday’s Game to Watch: Dallas (3-1) @ Golden State (0-4)
The Warriors are struggling out of the gate and the Mavericks love it. And Dallas is hoping to take advantage of their misery as well. After getting bounced from the postseason by Golden State in humiliating fashion last year, the Mavericks have jumped out to a 3-1 record and look like they could be on course for another top seed in the playoff brackets. Whether they hold onto it this time is yet to be determined. The Warriors, on the other hand, are winless through four games and have been outscored by 54 points during the stretch. But you can never count Golden State out when they take the court against Big D. At least not as long as Don Nelson is calling the shots for the Warriors because if there is a breath left in Nellie’s lungs then he’s dead set on ruining Mark Cuban’s life.

Buzzer Beater: Anybody who is born in 1988 and playing in the NBA in 2007 is a freak. Of course, that freak is still just a kid. So, it shouldn’t come as any surprise that rookie Kevin Durant would hit a wall at some point; it’s just that nobody expected the head-on impact to come so soon. Five games in and K-Smoove finally went flying through the windshield as he finished with 17 points on 3-of-17 shooting and two rebounds in a loss to Memphis. Thank goodness for free-throws, huh Kevin? We know he’ll bounce back and even get better as the year goes on; after all, with a 0-5 record, P.J. Carlesimo can’t allow for too many of those games from Durant, now can he?

Categories
College Basketball

Bluegrass nation is mourning


There must be something in the water being supplied to college campuses across the country. There’s no other way to explain the insaneness that we’ve all experienced since the first pigskin went sailing through the sky back in October. But luckily for us; it doesn’t look like the fun is stopping with an upset-filled BCS race. Nope, this craziness could be on pace to go deep into March. That is if the crushing of Kentucky by Gardner-Webb is any indication.

Two games into the Billy Gillespie era of Wildcat hoops and he’s already looking for a rock to crawl under. The coach was blunt, summing up the night by simply saying “We just got our tails whipped.” Of course, that’s like saying that Apollo Creed got his tail whipped by Ivan Drago. Don’t sell your program short, coach.

But to be fair, Gillespie didn’t make any excuses for his team after the game.

It was a great exhibition of basketball by Gardner-Webb,” Gillispie said. “They just came into our place and I thought they whipped us in every phase of the game. The box score was not indicative of how bad they beat us.

Kentucky never led during the 84-68 thrashing as the Runnin’ Bulldogs raced out to a 14-0 advantage. In fact, the Wildcats never got any closer than seven points for the remainder of the game. Everybody might be harping on Michigan for their early season fumble against Appalachian State or USC for falling to a 41-point dog in Stanford, but at least you know those are universities. After we first saw the headline – Gardner-Webb Shocks Kentucky – we thought that the Wildcats had been rolled up by a law firm.

A lot of people will think this is a misprint, but I hope not,” Gardner-Webb coach Rick Scruggs said. “I hope they get to see it and can enjoy it. It’s going to take a few days to settle in.

It might take a few days to settle in, but it shouldn’t take nearly that long for Boiling Springs, N.C., to declare November 7th as “Rick Scruggs Day”.

Links:

[Associate Press]: Gardner-Webb Stuns No. 20 Kentucky
[Local10.com]: Gardner-Webb Shocks Kentucky

Categories
General Sports

Rob Stone needs more milk, stat!

Remember when Lloyd and Harry started eating peppers in Dumb and Dumber? Well, Rob Stone would have given anything for some squeeze bottles of mustard and ketchup after he downed the hottest pepper in the world.

Geez, man; what are you? Some sorta idiot? The pepper dude said it had a million Scoville heat units. Wait; don’t tell us you’re not familiar with the Scoville scale of heat transfer. What a dweeb.

Links:

[Awful Announcing]: Don’t Do It Stoner, Oh God He’s Doing It!

Categories
Houston Rockets

Around the Rim: Rocket powered rejection


1. Spurs get Pop’d in the mouth
In a Southwest showdown, the Rockets bounced back from a road loss to the Mavericks and defeated the Spurs 89-81 in Houston. The loss knocked San Antonio from the ranks of the unbeatens and left them to ponder bigger problems than the eight point differential in offense. Led by Bonzi Wells and Yao Ming, the Rockets outrebounded the Spurs by 27 (55-28), including a 25-4 advantage on the offensive glass. Then again, in order to get a bunch of offensive rebounds you have to miss a lot of shots and that seemed pretty easy for the Rockets in the early going as they missed 25 of their first 37 shots. But the second chance points added up and sharing the ball paid off as the Rockets dished out a season-high 25 assists. Making the win even more impressive was the fact that Houston survived while Tracy Mcrady was going 4-of-14 for 12 points.

2. N’awlins goes nuts

Peja Stojakovic and Chris Paul went absolutely berserk against the Lakers. En route to a 118-104 Charlotte victory, Stojakovic scored 36 points with a team record breaking performance in which he nailed 10-of-13 from behind the arc. Most of his shots were the products of Paul passes and by the end of the game, Paul had a franchise-record of his own to cherish: 21 assists! Paul was just one point away from tallying a 20-20 performance which isn’t easy to do with points and rebounds, let alone points and assists. Throw in his three rebounds and three steals and you have another blooming performance from the point guard of the future. Oh, Kobe Bryant was there too and he turned in a pretty solid performance in a losing effort with 28 points, six rebounds, seven assists and three steals.

3. SC’s Neat-o Stat of the Day
Actually, we’re going to give SI.com all the credit for the crunching of numbers, but did you know that the average price for a ticket to see Kobe Bryant play a home game is $89.24? Ouch. Now, here comes the fun stuff. According to The Fan Cost Index, the average price across the league to take a family of four out to a game is $281.90. That includes “four average-price tickets, two small draft beers, four small soft drinks, four regular-size hot dogs, parking for one car, two game programs and two least-expensive, adult-size adjustable caps.” Well, if you want to see Bryant ignore his teammates and jack up 40 shots in front of Jack then it’s gonna cost you $453.95! For that much money, that package better include Demi Moore sitting on our laps for the entire game!

Tuesday’s Player of the Day: LeBron James @ Golden State 42 min, 24 pts (FG: 9-16, 3FG: 1-2, FT: 5-7), 14 reb, 9 ast, 3 blk

Wednesday’s Game to Watch: Denver (2-2) @ Boston (2-0)
So, do you like freakishly large collections of freakishly skilled players? Well, then you’ve come to the right place because the TD Banknorth (we can’t believe we said it either) Garden is gonna be popping at the seams. Everyone knows about the big trio in green and white and the visitors aren’t all that shabby either. A couple of guys named Allen Iverson and Carmelo Anthony will join the defensive player of the year, Marcus Camby, and a pair of bad boys in J.R. Smith and Kenyon Martin. This is a poor man’s all-star game and has all the makings of a barn burner. So, enjoy it because these two aren’t hooking up again until late February.

Buzzer Beater: If you were hoping to tune into Tuesday night’s game between the Knicks and Nuggets and see round two between the teams then you were probably pretty disappointed with your evening. There were no flagrant fouls called, no techs, no Carmelo Anthony hit and runs, and only two players (Nene Hilario and Marcus Camby) fouled out. Lame. We expected more with Zach Randolph in the lineup.

Categories
New Jersey Devils

Barry Melrose wants your forgiveness Newark

In case you missed Barry Melrose’s recent analysis of the New Jersey Devils new arena and its immediate surroundings then just zip ahead to the 1:40 mark and enjoy.

“Don’t go outside if you have a wallet or anything else.” C’mon Melrose, you can’t say stuff like that. Who do you think you are? Charles Barkley?

Well, as you might imagine; as soon as the hate mail started rolling in, it didn’t take long for Barry to realize that he had just gagged pretty hard on his toes. After that, it was damage control time.

Melrose said he has driven through Newark before but has not been to the Prudential Center. He said he based his comments on footage aired by Canadian broadcaster TSN before the Devils’ first game at the new arena Oct. 27.

“I was trying to be funny and I’m sorry it didn’t come through that way,” he said by phone from St. Louis. “No excuse. When I talk I don’t want to offend anybody. I love hockey and I want Newark to be a success. I certainly never wanted to hurt the feelings of the people of Newark or the people of New Jersey. There was no malice on my part.

Trying to be funny, huh? We see that Rick Reilly’s move to ESPN is already affecting your comedic delivery.

Links:

[Washington Post]: Melrose Offers Apology for Newark Joke
[USA Today]: ESPN’s Melrose sorry for remarks about Newark