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San Antonio Spurs

Around the Rim: The boys (and babes) are back in town!


1. Life is good in San Antonio
Sure, the Spurs got a new banner for the AT&T Center and, yes, they received some shiny new rings from the commish, but those weren’t even close to being the highlight of San Antonio’s day. That’s because Tim Duncan agreed in principle to sign the dotted line of a two-year, $40 million contract extension that will keep him sporting silver and black through the 2011-12 season. The Big Fundamental immediately paid dividends with team-highs in points (24) and rebounds (13) as San Antonio defeated Portland 106-97. All in all, that’s a pretty big day for the best power forward on the face of the planet, and his team.

2. You sure you want to get rid of this guy?

Remember all that talk about how Kobe Bryant just isn’t trying hard enough for the team? Well, you can nix that idea after one game because in the Lakers’ season opener, Bryant went off for 45 points against the Rockets in a 95-93 defeat. In fact, the Lakers could have possibly won the game if it hadn’t been for Shane Battier’s 3-pointer with under three seconds remaining. We know that the tension is reaching new heights between Kobe and Phil Jackson and between Kobe and the Lakers, but Los Angeles should probably do everything they can to keep their superstar at this point. First off, there is no way they can ever get equal value for someone that talented and secondly, he led the Lakers in every major statistical category last night. If this is how Kobe plays when he’s pouting, just wait until he has something to smile about…if he has something to smile about.

3. The Warriors pick up right where they left off
The Warriors are probably pretty sick of seeing the Utah Jazz at this point. After putting an end to Golden State’s playoff party last year, the Jazz opened this season with a 117-96 win over Don Nelson’s club. The dynamic duo of Carlos Boozer and Deron Williams paid off again for the Jazz as they combined 56 points, 19 rebounds and nine assists. Heck, even the disgruntled Andrei Kirilenko produced for the club as he just missed out on a triple-double with nine points, nine rebounds and eight assists. The Warriors made it interesting in the final quarter, but without Stephen Jackson in the lineup (suspended, of course), Golden State just didn’t have enough firepower to hang.

Tuesday’s Player of the Day: Kobe Bryant vs. Houston 43 min, 45 pts (FG: 13-32, 3FG: 1-3, FT: 18-27), 8 reb, 4 ast, 4 stl, 1 blk

Wednesday’s Game to Watch: Dallas (0-0) @ Cleveland (0-0)

It would be awfully tough to find any teams with worse tastes in their mouths than either the Mavericks or the Cavaliers. Both teams had great regular seasons last year and then both of them got absolutely humiliated in the postseason. In case you’ve already forgotten, the Cavs managed to win the East but went cold against San Antonio in the Finals. On the other side of the map, Dallas virtually coasted to 67 wins before having their hopes smashed by Don Nelson’s small ball. Now, we can’t predict what’s going to happen after the regular season concludes, but we can pretty much guarantee these two are going to be major players in their conferences. Both teams will probably be a little rusty to start the year, but LeBron James and Dirk Nowitzki on the same court are must watch television any day of the year.

Buzzer Beater: The dream of dueling rookies was cut short after Greg Oden needed microfracture surgery before the season, but when the rookies are this good then having just one really isn’t all that bad. Kevin Durant sprained his left knee and his status for the season opener was up in the air until he had a good practice on Monday. Now it’s starting to look like the Nuggets should be more concerned about Durant’s health than the Sonics. Seattle coach P.J. Carlesimo basically said it’s the kid’s call; if he feels good, he’ll be starting the game. And should that happen, all the other rooks out there can basically kiss that ROY trophy goodbye.

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San Antonio Spurs

Brent Barry is really, really excited about getting his second ring


We know that it is hard to look forward to the NBA season when the pigskin is still flying, but the drama of professional hoops gets underway on Tuesday whether you watch it or not. However, before the refs can toss up the opening jump ball, there’s one small piece of business that has to be taken care of first. David Stern has some hardware to hand out.

But Stern might want to be careful whenever it comes time to give Brent `Bones’ Barry his ring. After all, when the Spurs got their 2005 rings from the commish, it was Barry that planted a big ol’ smooch on Stern.

Last time I got in a little bit of trouble for kissing him. I said something like him tasting flakey. It was like kissing my grandma. I don’t know if he took too kindly to that, but we had some fun,” Barry told SpursZONE.com. “You only get that moment if you’re lucky – I mean you only get that moment once. Since I have it twice – I don’t know. Maybe I’ll look for some tongue.

If a French kiss is what happens after two rings, we’d hate to be Stern should San Antonio go for a repeat. Hmmm, maybe his refs can help him prevent that situation from occurring. Ah, never mind; that would imply the NBA is crooked and we all know better than that.

Links:

[WOAI.com]: Will Brent Barry Kiss the NBA Commissioner?

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San Antonio Spurs

Tony Parker is having one busy summer

Now that Tony Parker and Eva Longoria are officially married, you might think that Tony is going to take a break from his rapping career, right? Wrong! Unfortunately, the Finals MVP is still chasing the bling-bling dream of a glitzy hip-hop vocation and we have his new video to prove it. Here is Mr. Longoria’s latest single, Premier Love. Enjoy.

Personally, we think that Parker should stick to penetrating the lane, but he seems to have a pretty good life built up for himself right now with the championship rings, trophies and some premiere eye candy on his arm. Yup, the rapping might stink, but we can’t argue with the fact that Tony Parker is currently sitting on top of the world.

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San Antonio Spurs

Someone should tell the Spurs trainer to start reading the expiration dates

This year marked the first time in Tim Duncan’s stellar career that he didn’t win the NBA Finals MVP after guiding the Spurs to a championship; instead, it was Tony Parker who stole the show and the trophy. Now, we thought something stunk about the lil’ Frenchman snatching up the award and now we have the video evidence to back up what we suspected all along: Parker was poisoning Duncan’s Gatorade in order to become the best player on the floor!

Sacre bleu!!

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San Antonio Spurs

Odds and Ends: Tony Parker’s bachelor days are quickly running out


Now that Tony Parker has won his third championship to go along with his first Finals MVP, he can put all that basketball drama behind him and start focusing on all the drama that is going to surround his July 7th wedding to Eva Longoria. And the first thing he’s gotta deal with is some of Eva’s loudmouthed BFFs. According to the New York Post, one of her friends had this to say about the Frenchman: “He is just not gracious,” one of them said. “He puts himself ahead of her. He always orders at restaurants before her and is rude to waiters. We just don’t have a good feeling about him.”

We’re guessing that the mystery girl is the fat, ugly, jealous chick that always seems to make her way into the circle of babes. You know, kinda like that porker in the Dixie Chicks.

In other news…

[WFRV.com]: The Pack is back, it’s just not in a good way.

[PittsburghPostGazette.com]: A burnt finger will keep Ian Snell off the mound tomorrow. Damn chicken breasts!

[KSDK.com]: MMA legend tests positive for steroids. No, not Johnnie Morton.

[USA Today]: Kobe Bryant wants out of LA again. But give him a little bit, it could pass.

[Our Book of Scrap]: Getting kicked in the nads just got even funnier.

[TMZ.com]: Mark Cuban is reduced to doing coke off a cell phone. We blame Golden State.

And finally, here’s a story that will have any potential criminals thinking twice before they consider a kid and his mom as easy pickins.

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San Antonio Spurs

Around the Rim: The Spurs Dynasty


They’re considered dull by many and boring by most but it really doesn’t matter what anyone thinks about their style because the San Antonio Spurs have now joined the Celtics, Lakers and Bulls as the only franchises in league history to grab four championships. But the Spurs have something those teams don’t: the all-time best winning percentage in the finals. In their four trips to the game’s greatest stage in the past nine years, San Antonio has amassed an impressive 16-6 record (.727).

And while Tim Duncan will get all the coverage as possibly being the best player since Michael Jordan suited up, Tony Parker scooped up the MVP honors after he averaged 24.5 points per game in the series and put in 24 in the trophy clinching Game 4. But, as always, it was a complete team effort by SA that derailed the Cavaliers’ hopes of digging out of a 0-3 hole.

Duncan struggled from the field (4-15 FGs) and from the line (4-10 FT), but he still managed to finish with a typical Big Fundamental stat line of 12 points, 15 rebounds, three assists, two steals and two blocks. Manu Ginobili came up big in the fourth quarter where he scored 13 of his game-high 27 points. And while his offensive output is normally nonexistent, Bruce Bowen has got to be allowed a few extra days with the Larry O’Brien Trophy because his smothering of James on almost every possession was key to the sweep. Sure, LeBron got his numbers anyway (24 points, 10 assists, six rebounds), but his shots were constantly contested as he finished the series shooting just 32-of-90 from the field.

So, does this officially qualify the Spurs as a “dynasty”? While four titles in nine years is awfully impressive, San Antonio needs to snatch up a ring in an even numbered year to join the truly elite. Specifically, they’ll have to win it all in 2008 to get labeled with the D-word. Should they manage to pull it off, the Spurs would have back-to-back championships and a streak of five titles in ten years; ensuring a decade of domination.

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San Antonio Spurs

Dammit SI! There goes the Spurs fourth title


Tim Duncan was having one of the best postseasons of his career. Why did we say “was”? Well, those jerks over at Sports Illustrated decided to slap the Big Fundamental’s mug on the cover of their latest mag. In case you didn’t know, SI cover boys have a slight stigma of being a cursed by the magazine’s front page exposure. But don’t take our word for it; just look at the laundry list of those jinxed by SI! So, basically the Spurs can expect for Duncan to snap his leg by slipping on a candy wrapper before Game 5 tips off in San Antonio.

But, hey, Vince Young is taking on the Madden and Campbell’s curses head-on and he doesn’t seem too worried about it. And nothing happened to that tree that made the cover of SI a while back. So, maybe these crazy jinxes aren’t real after all.

With three rings and five MVPs in his pocket, there really isn’t much about Duncan that could be considered cursed. In fact, the only curse that currently surrounds Timmy is the way he cursed the luck of the Irish for the Celtics organization back in 1997.

I was fortunate — as fortunate as the Spurs — to land where I did,” he says, citing the ownership of Peter Holt, the stewardship of (Gregg) Popovich and general manager R.C. Buford, even the quality of the facilities in San Antonio as positives. “It’s not guaranteed if I did go somewhere else that I would have won a championship. Maybe things being different, I never get to that point, because people don’t prepare, people don’t draft, people don’t put teams together the right way, people don’t coach the right way. So I’m absolutely blessed having the situation that I’m in.

Now, like Duncan said, there’s no guarantee that Boston would be rolling in championship banners if the lottery would have gone according to plan but we’re guessing that they wouldn’t be losing 18 games in a row! So, maybe this SI cover is actually a reminder of the Duncan curse on Boston. If it is then the Celtics will be wasting their fifth pick in the upcoming draft on the spastic Joakim Noah. Now that’s a curse that nobody wants to deal with.

Links:

[WOAI.com]: Tim Duncan on Cover of Sports Illustrated
[SI.com]: All About Winning

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San Antonio Spurs

Is Jesus rooting for the Spurs?

The Phoenix/San Antonio series is quickly becoming one of the most exciting match-ups in recent history and the two fan bases are slowly becoming more and more desperate to put a hurtin’ on the other. But, in reality, there is nothing that the faithful fans can do other than root, root, root for the home team. Or is there? The Sisters of Charity of the Incarnate Word in San Antonio think they might have a secret weapon lined up to help their boys beat those darn Suns. His name…God!

So, will the Lord will the Spurs to victory tonight? Or does he want to see a classic Game 7 back in Arizona like the rest of the nation? Guess we won’t find out until the Game 6 wraps up this evening, but we’re just glad that it sounds like God is going to forgive Robert Horry for his forearm shot to Steve Nash. It would have really sucked to be banned from heaven over a flagrant foul.

Links:

[WOAI.com]: Divine Team Spirit: Local Nuns Pray For The Spurs

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San Antonio Spurs

Odds and Ends: Tony Parker would like you to know he’s getting some


We’re pretty sure that this was prompted by Tony Parker getting sick of everyone asking him why he wasn’t getting any — Eva Longoria went on Ryan Seacrest’s radio show (the world is indeed ending) and announced that she and Tony were still having sex and that the rumor that she was holding out for the duration of the playoffs / until they were married is false.

Well, that makes us sleep better at night.

In other news…

[Star Tribune]: Woman sues ex-Viking over credit card

[NY Post]: Stephon Marbury and his $15 sneakers ready for world domination on Oprah

[The Offside]: Let’s hope he washed his hands before returning to goal.

[Sports By Brooks]: Warriors owner owes the IRS $160M in unpaid taxes.

[SI.com]: Ideas to shorten sporting events

[11 Alive]: Blind 106 year old bowler is better than you

And finally, Michael Vick actually gets some good news. It turns out that his herpes will protect him from bubonic plague and other germs. Unfortunately, there’s no immunization from animal rights activists.

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San Antonio Spurs

Tony Parker isn’t the best rap lyricist

We didn’t even realize that Tony Parker was getting his MC Solaar on (anyone else old enough to remember Solaar?) but his rap single, Balance Toi, is blazing up the charts in France, which means it’s somewhere below Hall and Oates latest single in the U.S.   Here’s the music video of the song. You’d think there’d be a couple of sex scenes with Eva but nooooooo.. it’s just Tony hanging out at a club.

Thanks to Babelfish, here’s what Tony is saying:


Very soft I have my style
The rap borer in the tanks
Ca will hurt
And I avalle my pure style
The public claims me
And I assume serious
Lady… Lady… Lady… Lady… Lady…
(tony.P…)
Balance, Balance, Balance, Balance
Balance, Balance, Balance, Balance
Balance, Balance, Balance, Balance
Oh baby go…
(Let’ S go)
You thinks that are ready for you baby
Ca makes boom boom in the baby club
Oh yes moves on the zic lady
Cool Tony.P and smoove
I apply
Hey Hey
DJ balances sauce like hab’
To like for glory I make it like hab’
Let slip when it is open bar
To thread well before two hours of a quarter
The ball has face it is the price
All these girl which me “ppss”
Baby you can to me éscorter for this night
Baby I have déja my wife for the life
Oké, have you evil to follow me
But which even follows me
Musical therapy
Tony.P from Texas in Paris
Want lie down with
Oh please

Refrain:
Go ahead balances itself of left on the right
I have the style which hurts
Go ahead balance you of left on the right
Tony.P with the fichal
Balance, Balance, Balance, Balance Oh
Balance, Balance, Balance, Balance Oh
Balance, Balance, Balance, Balance Oh
Oh baby go…
Check my Hip-Hop always with the signal
My flora notches there
Rap is my job, stop
Jump and jumpé jump hop
Tony.P with the star r’ B hop
Baby stops to a little are limited you
Baby stops a little me matter
Lady be charming for you and you know it
But knows that only environment with test
KOI new the snoop-dog in the enclosures
KOI you want dancer, nan it is not the sorrow
ME I remain quite sitted in the sofa
who makes the valve while raising the arms
Bring the girls in the V.I.P
Want you to sleep with
Oh please
– Refrain
Lady……… the lady
Lady……… the lady
Lady……… the lady
Lady… Lady
Lady……… the lady
Lady……… the lady
Lady… Lady…
Go ahead balances degauche on the right
I have the sweat which hurts
Overshoot runway if
do not be to you ready A to make move
your shoulders
I have this p’ tit trick destey Oh
I make my own Oh dreams
I have this sound in the head
Quickly the piece acheve leaves
Ah Ah… Tony.P
Texas Servant boy
Let’ S go…

Ummm… we think something was lost in translation.  Because  “I have the sweat which hurts” isn’t cool.