These guys are not bringing sexy back

You callin’ me ugly? Why I oughta…

So, The Phoenix decided to release their list of “The 100 Unsexiest Men of 2007” and it is a pretty good compilation of ugly dudes. But, here at Sportscolumn, we’re only fascinated with the most hideous, stomach turning sports dudes that made the list. Well, we’re not really fascinated with them. It’s more like we’re just interested in them. Uh, not interested in them as in interested in them; oh, geez, forget it. Here’s who made the list:

#90 – John Kruk, Roundballer

#74 – Peyton Manning, Spokesmodel

#72 – George Steinbrenner, Evil emperor

#62 – Larry Bird, Gomer Pyle with skillz

#57 – Randy Johnson, Buzzardly hurler

#55 – Ronaldinho, Goal getter

#53 – Bud Selig, Baller, shot-caller

#45 – The Duke Lacrosse Team, Player haters

#43 – Pacman Jones, Rainmaker

#40 – Curt Schilling, Bloggist

#37 – Tony Kornheiser, Roundtablist

#31 – Bill Belichick, Player-coach

#25 – O.J. Simpson, First-time novelist

Just so you have a sense of where exactly on the line of ugly these guys rank, here’s some notable markers to keep in mind. #82 – The Geico Caveman, #61 – Harry Knowles, #42 – Jeff Foxworthy, #36 – Brian Posehn, #28 – Dustin “Screech” Diamond, #24 – Phil Spector, #3 – Flavor Flav and, of course, #1 – Donald Trump. Just imagine if The Donald had his head shaved at Wrestlemania; actually that might have improved his looks.


[The Phoenix]: The 100 Unsexiest Men 2007

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  1. matt Jordan | May 3, 2007 | Reply

    Some of my favorate highlites… — #91 Bob Sagett – Likes to give oral for coke (see: Half Baked.)

    #79 Joe Francis – Serial Child rapist.

    #38 Micheal Devilin – Just like Joe Francis, ezcept instead of using drunk college sluts, he used two sober 12 year old boys.

    #23 Pete Doherty – Proof that Kate Moss is on way too many drugs.

    #21 Gerard Way – Why the hell does my girlfriend want to leave me for him?

    #10 – Carl from Aqua Teen – aka my new personal hero.

  2. Scrap | May 3, 2007 | Reply

    This is missing some names… — There should be a bunch of guys from the WNBA on this list.

  3. Clay | May 3, 2007 | Reply

    And where’s — Joakim Noah? Surely he deserves to be on this list.

  4. Vin | May 3, 2007 | Reply

    my faves: — [80] ANN COULTER
    Honorary member of the rodded gender thanks to a conspicuous Adam’s apple and complementary set of brass balls.

    Mullet king

    When we put the lead vocalist of turdy rockers Nickelback on the list last year, we didn’t think his fans would come out in force to defend him quite like they did. Seriously? People actually think this dude is attractive? He looks like a lion crossbred with a chicken

  5. LarryOrr | May 3, 2007 | Reply

    Props — “There should be a bunch of guys from the WNBA on this list.”

    That was funny.

  6. matt Jordan | May 3, 2007 | Reply

    I thought he was there… — oh wait, that’s his twin brother Sanjia.

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