In response to the question posed by Awful Announcing: a resounding no. Hamsters and laxatives and tree houses and pregnancy; it was all just nonsensical gibberish to us. To Mike Tirico, on the other hand, it was “hysterical.”
Hey, Mike; Steve Carell isn’t funny, but Michael Scott is.
Links:
[Awful Announcing]: Steve Carell On Monday Night Football
Ever wonder what the best basketball players in the world are doing when timeout gets called? You might think that they’re focused on the Xs and Os being diagramed, but you’d be wrong. Apparently, they do the Soulja Boy; whatever that is.
Links:
[The Big Lead]: Baron Davis, Quite the Comic
You might think that NBA cheerleaders are just hot bodies gyrating in tight spandex outfits, but you’d be wrong. It takes a whole lot more than just a pretty face to make in the pros. These chicks are tough. Well, at least this Jazz cheerleader can take a wallop.
Wow, the last time we saw a member of the Jazz involved in a collision like that was when Karl Malone tried to decapitate Isiah Thomas in the early 90s.
You know how it is to be sitting around watching TV and eating microwave dinners when something just doesn’t feel right. You’re just not comfortable. You know what it is, it’s that damn underwear. So, what do you do? Well, you drop trou and finish off that Salisbury steak and mashed potatoes in comfort, of course. And now, tennis players are fighting for their right to go commando.
Yeah, we know, it’s pretty strange behavior, but it’s nothing compared to some of the stupid things that golfers do.
We’re glad that there is still some fun and laughter left in bowling. After the infamous underground pug bowling scandal videos surfaced in April of `06, we weren’t sure if a game of Ten Pin would ever make us smile again.
As much as we love sports, we really can’t stand soccer. There is just absolutely nothing appealing to us about the sport. Sure, the rest of the free world can’t get enough of the stuff, but we really don’t care if we never see one more second of soccer footage for the rest of our lives. In fact, if we do see another soccer highlight then we’re going to have to…wait, what? Soccer guys getting kicked in the nads? Roll it!
We stand corrected; this sport isn’t so bad after all.
We told you about the unbelievable dangers subtly hidden within the childhood game of tug-of-war. Despite the fact that it’s played in school gymnasiums across this great nation of ours, nobody would ever expect their hands to get sliced off from participating. Well, dodgeball is another seemingly ordinary game in which people assume that the worst thing that can happen is a nerdy little kid gets whacked in the face causing his glasses to break and sending the room into hysterics. Well, that is the worst thing that can happen…for the nerdy little kid. We think it’s pretty darn funny.
Hey kid; they’re not checking on you, they’re hoping you’re bleeding.
Links:
[Our Book of Scrap]: Dodgeball Is A Great Character Builder
Remember the other day when we told you about the newest addition to the ultra exclusive Real Men of Genius club? No, not Mr. Overweight Model Molester and Verbal Abuser Point Guard Guy. We’re talking about Mr. Delusional, Irrational, Hopelessly Pathetic Notre Dame Football Fan. Well, move over Mr. Really Stinky Breath Breather Outer because there’s a new member of the guild. And try not to breath in his direction.
Does anybody else’s Gus Light taste a little Nutty?
Links:
[The Wizard of Odds]: Houston Nutt, a Real Man of Genius
Floyd Mayweather got kicked off the Dancing With the Stars island last night. Yea, we can’t believe it either. We just lost $50 bucks after we took him at 5-1.
We’re sure that Floyd isn’t sweating getting kicked off a lame, yet wildly popular, dancing show, but he’s got to be ticked off that he went home before a buffoonish, yet wildly rich, Mark Cuban.
We’re not even into the NBA season yet and we’ve already heard a variety of stories involving Kobe Bryant.
First, Jerry Buss opened his big, fat mouth after a lot of the summer frenzy died down and told reporters that he “would certainly listen” to any trade offers made for Bryant. Then some crazy LA news outlets started yapping about how Kobe had already cleaned out his locker. Now, we get to actually hear from the Mamba on the situation and we’re more confused than ever about this whole mess.
I don’t know, talk to Mitch and Mr. Buss about that,” Bryant replied when asked if he had played his final game for the Lakers, referring to general manager Mitch Kupchak and the team’s owner. “I’m just getting ready. If I’m here, I’m ready to strap it up.”
My job is to play the game and get ready to play the game,” he said Tuesday. “That’s what I’m doing. I guess people are just intrigued by what’s going on around here. I understand that. I have a job to do. One thing I said at training camp was that I didn’t want this to be a distraction.”
When asked whether he was unsettled by recent events, Bryant said: “It’s our understanding not to bring up the situation and not talk about it. We just wanted to keep things quiet and go about our business. It kind of caught me off guard a little bit.
“We’ve just got to get back to basics and get ready and go from there. It’s my job to play basketball. It’s not my job to worry about what management is doing or this, that or the other thing. I’m going to be ready and let them do their jobs.
Bryant has been sitting out the last couple of practices which is apparently what has all the rumors flowing, but this is getting ridiculous. When Kobe wants out, the Lakers want him to stay. Then the Lakers start talking trade and Kobe wants to play. Geez, we haven’t seen this much contrast in one place since Charlie gave life to Night Man and Day Man.
Links:
[MSNBC.com]: Kobe sits out again, denies cleaning out locker
