We don’t know about you guys, but we had a Grandma who became addicted to NBA basketball late in life and we gotta admit, she kept us in stitches with her over enthusiasm and lack of knowledge. She’d scream things at the television like “Don’t let `em score” when the game was about 20 seconds in or “Run, run, run!” every time her team touched the ball. And if her squad didn’t come up on the winning side of things then it was obviously because “Those other fellars cheated.” Aww, we miss Maw-Maw. Luckily, we’ve got this old lady to remind us of the good ol’ days.
Thanks lady, you have no idea how much your comments like “C’mon defense. Do you know what defense is?,” and “If you blow a 31-14 lead at the half then you are not doing your job. No way,” mean to us.
In case you didn’t know, the BCS National Championship game between LSU and THE Ohio State University goes down tonight and with the biggest prize in college football on the line, there should be a whole lot of head banging going in Louisiana. So, who’s going to win the big game? If you really want to know the answer to that question, don’t listen to the knuckleheads on TV or the monkeys pounding away at their keyboards. You gotta turn to the passionate rabble patiently waiting in the streets for kickoff to come around. Just don’t expect any hard-hitting analysis from people wearing tiger-striped purple pimp suits.
The college years are probably the best years of your life. You hear it all the time, but it’s not until after you leave the world of higher learning that you realize just how true it is. So much growing goes on between freshman and senior year that few kids remain unchanged after their experience. We say “few” because while most of America’s best and brightest are deeply entrenched in studies to become world class doctors, lawyers, politicians and businessmen, others are working out the mathematical equations for that illusively perfect beer pong shot.
Humongous props to Ryan Parker Songs for putting together this awesome ditty about Isiah Thomas’ ineptitude. If you ask us, this song has everything necessary to become the next big sensation to sweep the nation, taking over radio stations from coast to coast. Now, we’re no music critics, but we have to admit we have an ear for these types of things. After all, we were listening to “Who Let The Dogs Out?” and “Mambo No. 5” for months before they became favorites in the hearts of all Americans. So, without further ado, we give to you “The Isiah Thomas 25 Year Rebuilding Plan”:
I used to think Isiah was just lazy,
Or just a guy who’s had some rotten luck,
But now it’s clear he’s clinically crazy,
So I can say it’s obvious he sucks,
Cause he says the Knicks are going to win a title,
And he’s going to leave a lasting legacy,
But he’s missing some components that are vital,
Like players who will play for more than me,
Isiah must be suffering from some form of dyslexia,
That’s causing him to read the scoreboard wrong,
He must think New York is winning while they’re always getting crushed,
And his championship plan is going strong,
Spike Lee and Chris Rock can afford to waste their money,
But what about the average New York fan,
Everybody but James Dolan seems to think it isn’t funny,
While they’re watching the Isiah Thomas 25 year rebuilding plan,
Isiah says he wants to leave a blueprint,
To show teams in the future how to play,
But one day our kids will ask us where the Knicks went,
And we’ll say Isiah took the team away,
Now I won’t question who is on the court or starting,
Cause I’m quite sure I’ve already said enough,
To merit an ejection from the Garden,
Where free speech is all that’s getting stuffed,
Isiah must be suffering from some form of dyslexia,
That’s causing him to read the scoreboard wrong,
He must think New York is winning while they’re always getting crushed,
And his championship plan is going strong,
Spike Lee and Chris Rock can afford to waste their money,
But what about the average New York fan,
Everybody but James Dolan seems to think it isn’t funny,
While they’re watching the Isiah Thomas 25 year rebuilding plan …
Anybody who has ever played fantasy football knows that being a virtual GM can be downright expensive. Rookie owners often think they just have to throw in their share of the pot and that’s that, but the grizzled veterans of the game know there is a ton of overhead associated with being a competitive fantasy franchise. Thankfully there are the good people at Frist National Bank.
2007 was definitely a down year for clever touchdown celebrations in the National Football League, we mean the No Fun League. Chad Johnson tried his best to get the year off to a good start, but, unfortunately, donning a “Future Hall of Famer” jacket was both the highlight and lowlight of end zone elation this season. So, we’re going to go fire up the `way back’ machine and bring you a classic football celebration to make up for this year’s lack of luster. It’s not Johnson’s Irish jig, Steve Smith’s boat ride or pole slide, Terrell Owens’ Sharpie or even Gus Frerotte’s head-butt. Nope, this celebration is much nuttier than any of those.
The great Evel Knievel is gone, but the world’s greatest daredevil has to be smiling after Robbie Maddison set the record for jumping a motorcycle on Monday, setting the new mark at an amazing 322 feet, 7 ½ inches. About the only thing more amazing than the jump itself was hearing Mark Schlereth call the action.
And just like the original king of extreme in his heyday, Maddison isn’t about to rest on his laurels.
He was asked how far he thinks he can jump.
“Four hundred feet,” Maddison said. “I know I’m definitely going to do it.
Don’t worry, they’re preparing the body cast in advance.
Links:
[WCBSTV.com]: Australian Motorcyclist Breaks Jump Record
You know Chris Bosh as rebound-grabbing, slam dunk-delivering, shot-blocking machine. Needless to say, some of you have already bubbled in his name on the 2008 ballot as an Eastern Conference All-Star. Well, Mr. Bosh appreciates all your recent support. And for all the undecideds, Chris W. is here to assure you that if you vote for Bosh, your vote will not be cast in vain.
There were plenty of shrieks of agony coming from New York Giants fans on Saturday as the Patriots made history inside the Meadowlands, beating the G-Men 38-35 and becoming the first team to ever run the table during a 16-game regular season. While there was plenty of pain in the stands, the real suffering and anguish occurred under the bleachers.
The escalator at Gate A apparently failed at the bottom steps, state police Lt. Jim Crann said. The escalator runs from the stadium’s upper tier to the ground level, and Crann said it appeared some bottom steps became bent, causing some fans foot and leg injuries.
James Minish, executive vice president of facilities for the New Jersey Sports & Exposition Authority, which operates the stadium, said one of the injured fans appeared to have a fractured leg, while others had scrapes and bruises.
Two fans apparently suffered more serious leg injuries, Minish said, but he did not have further details.
Of course, escalator accidents aren’t always a result of mechanical failures. In fact, according to the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission, 75 percent of the 6,000 escalator injuries per year are due to falls. Like this one:
The Titans won a must-win situation on Sunday night, defeating Indianapolis to secure a playoff spot. But even post season berths took a backseat in this game after Chris Henry was on the wrong end of the collision of the game – nay, the collision of the year.
Sweet mother of pearl! Did anyone get the license plate of that mini van that just ran over Henry?
I used to think Isiah was just lazy,