Tag: dumb

Categories
Phoenix Suns

Phoenix’s public enemy #1: Big Shot Bob


In case you haven’t noticed, the Phoenix Suns and their fans are just a little angry with Robert Horry. His infamous forearm to Steve Nash in the final moments of Game 4 sent shockwaves through the NBA as Big Shot Rob’s actions coaxed Amare Stoudemire and Boris Diaw off the Suns bench which earned the duo a pair of suspensions for Game 5. It’s arguable that the flagrant foul ended up costing the Suns the pivotal fifth game and possibly the series. So, AZCentral.com has come up with this creative method of allowing the Phoenix faithful to gain a small measure of revenge against Horry; even though it was their own player’s stupid decisions that kept them out of the arena on Wednesday night. We present to you… Whack-A-Horry.

Sure, it’s not nearly as much fun as the arcade version but how could it be without the feel of a giant padded mallet in your hands. But if it can calm the rage of a city then we say whack away. It might seem a bit silly to sit at your desk and virtually beat the crap out of an animated Horry head but it is a hell of a lot better than how Raiders fans decide to take out their frustrations.

Links:

[WOAI.com]: Whack-A-Horry: Arizona Website Posts Anger-Venting Game For Suns’ Fans

Categories
New York Mets

Lastings Milledge is bringing sexism back



L Millz might sound like a rapper, but does he
have one of these?

Lastings Milledge has been in and out of trouble and controversy since he was in high school, so his latest troubles shouldn’t be anything new to “L Millz.” But that’s doesn’t mean that it isn’t going to further piss off a Mets front office that is already getting sick of Milledge’s actions.

Milledge is the CEO of Soul-ja Boi records, but instead of letting his talent spit rhymes while he rakes in the dough, Milledge had to open his big mouth and let some typical rap lyrics come flying out. During the song entitled “Bend Ya Knees,” in which Milledge is featured alongside his boy Manny D, Lastings uses phrases like “rich (N word),” “wealthy (N word),” a “top-notch ho” and even mentions how he has “a different bitch for every night.” Oh, Tupac would be so proud; but unfortunately for Milledge, Tupac is dead (at least that’s what we’re told) and with the whole Don Imus thing fresh in everyone’s minds there are tons of people ready to pounce on potty mouthed rappers. Like city councilmen, for example.

He’s lost his mind,” said City Councilman Leroy Comrie (D-Queens), who sponsored the Council’s resolution that condemned use of the N word. “I don’t understand how he could, in the spirit of Jackie Robinson, put out music that’s so vile, using . . . some of the worst words in music.

Or the bigwigs who sign his checks.

We disapprove of the content, language and message of this recording, which does not represent the views of the New York Mets,” a statement from the Mets front office said.

But, hey, this is honestly a step up for L Millz, believe it or not. It definitely beats the hell out of allegedly having sex with 12 and 13-year-old girls.

Links:

[Newsday.com]: Milledge offensive player on a CD
[NYDailyNews.com]: Lastings’ latest bad rap

Categories
General Sports

Talk about spinning your wheels for nothing


George Hood, 49, spent 85 long hours riding on a stationary bike back in January in order to grab his place in the Guinness Book of World Records. Well, at least he thought he rode for 85 hours. But leave it to the guys over at Guinness to screw the pooch on this one and leave Hood recordless and with an unnecessarily sore ass.

Turns out that the 40 or so volunteers who were in charge of keeping track of Hood’s hours on the bike couldn’t add, subtract or read a clock and Hood’s attempt at breaking the current record of 82 hours had to be nullified. This guy covered 1,080 miles without leaving the room over his three-plus day journey all for nothing. But, hey, that’s what this douche deserves for trying to pull off one of these retarded feats. So, Hood has learned his lesson right? Wrong. This living room Lance Armstrong is going to try again this summer but he’s set the bar even higher this time with a 101 hour trek in mind.

If I’m going to go through all this training and work, I want to be published,” he said. “I won’t be denied.

Dude, be denied. Don’t you know that nobody cares about this kind of stuff? When’s the last time anyone has ever gone to Guinness in order to see who has spent the longest amount of time riding a stationary bike? We’re guessing never. The only thing that stupid book is good for is the freaks. C’mon, who doesn’t remember those fat twins on the mopeds or the world’s smallest married couple? Now, those are the records that find their ways into our hearts.

Links:

[SignOnSanDiego.com]: Are you smarter than your 40 volunteers?
[IndianaGazette.com]: World record attempt disqualified, Hood puts positive spin on effort

Categories
NBA General

Tim Hardaway opens his mouth and inserts his foot, again

We thought that Tim Hardaway had learned his lesson after his whole ordeal with hating gays and all but it looks like we might have thought wrong. Now, the date of this clip is debatable but if it is after he let John Amaechi have it on the radio then that is one thick headed dude. And if it was taped before his comments then it gives you another interesting look into the mind of a moron.

Our favorite part is when Hardaway starts telling Allen Iverson about how to have a good image. What’s next? Is Najeh Davenport going to start lecturing on how to keep your girlfriend happy?

Links:

[Can’t Stop The Bleeding]: Tim Hardaway Was Dressed For Success

Categories
General Sports

Do we really need to tell you how moronic Stu Scott is?


Stu Scott has got to be one of the most annoying man on television and he’s proving that his disabilities are far worse than simply having a lazy eye. Mr. Boo-Yah opened his yapper to ESPN the Magazine the other day but instead of the normal horribly scripted garbage that comes spewing out, he shared some of his true feelings about culture in response to an email. We don’t know which is worse.

Emailer: Stuart, you say Pacman isn’t a bad guy, but Imus’ words reflect who he is? Whats the difference?

Stu: ” I didn’t say Imus was a bad person. I do think he’s racist and sexist”

“That makes him a flawed person, like Pacman.”

“Personally, though, I’LL TAKE PACMANS INDISCRETIONS OVER THOSE OF IMUS

Look, Stu, we all know that you can’t see out of that glass eye you’ve got, but it shouldn’t be completely skewing your view of reality. Imus is a documented bigot; nobody is saying he’s a saint, but Pacman?! You do know who Pacman Jones is, right? Please don’t make us go through the entire list of transgressions again, but we’ll remind you that he did spark a shooting after slamming a stripper’s head into the stage in Vegas. Call us crazy, but we’ll take the whole “nappy-headed hos” thing any day over getting an innocent bystander paralyzed.

What makes the cyclops’ comments even more retarded is that he came out after the whole Imus thing broke and said that the term “ho” is a way of being affectionate. Huh? So, how can Pacman possibly be less flawed than Imus when you think that Imus was only being “affectionate” when he called those hos hos?

Go away, Stu, just freakin’ go away.

Links:

[Awful Announcing]: Stu Scott Think Pacman Jones Is A Saint

Categories
All Other Sports

27 years after winning Grey Cup, QB gets busted with 17-year-old

When will people catch on that sex between a player and coach, or a teacher and a student just isn’t cool in the eyes of the law or most deans? Especially when the student is just 17-years-old!

Well, former Canadian Football League quarterback turned high school coach and substitute teacher Tom Porras found out the hard way on Thursday when he was arrested for suspicion of sex abuse and public sexual indecency with a student. The 49-year-old Porras confessed to the sexual abuse charge while sitting under that bright light at the Scottsdale, Arizona police headquarters.

Porras could always score on the field as he spent 17 seasons in the CFL, AFL and USFL, but now we see that the guy has some serious problems when it comes to reaching the end zone off the gridiron. C’mon, how pathetic do you have to be to hook up with high school chicks when you’re freakin’ 49? Not to mention a former professional athlete. Look, do we really have to show you where the line should be draw when it comes to sexual harassment? Let’s just say that you shouldn’t cross this line …

Actually, on second thought, don’t even approach that threshold. Especially with the minors.

Links:

[KVOA.com]: Former pro quarterback arrested on sex charges

Categories
New York Mets

Fat guy tumbles down stairs at Shea, crushes lady


Anybody who has ever been to a baseball game knows that fans are required to be active and aware at all times. You never know when a foul ball or even a bat could come flying into the stands. And you might want to even keep an eye on those crafty vendors who will try to sell you last week’s unsold hot dogs. But, the last thing any dedicated fan could possibly be prepared for would be a 300-pound monster of a man to come tumbling down the bleachers and blindside you while you enjoyed an ice cold brewski. Well, now you’ve been warned because that is exactly what happened to Ellen Massey during the Mets home opener on Monday.

I only know he came flying,” Massey, 58, said Wednesday from her bed in Jacobi Medical Center in the Bronx. “I was literally not able to breathe for about half-a-minute or so. The first thing I was aware of was not being able to breathe, and then when I was able to breathe I was aware of the pain in my lower back.

Luckily, Massey is a lawyer, so she’ll probably sue his fat ass if she ever finds him. The human cannonball got up and left the scene quicker than Michael Waltrip after he wrapped his ride around a telephone pole.

Massey is scheduled to have surgery on her back as a result of the incident and admits that she would have never expected anything like this to happen at her beloved Shea Stadium.

I have to say that in going to a baseball park, the only fear that has ever entered my mind is that I’d get hit by a hard ball,” she said.

“I didn’t expect a 300-pound human missile to hit me in the back. That doesn’t come up on my list of fears.

We’re wondering if it could have been this guy as he was taking a day off from his training to enjoy America’s pastime.

Links:

[NewsDay.com]: 300-pound man crushes fan at Shea

Categories
General Sports

Michael Waltrip will not be endorsing No-Doz


Michael Waltrip has been racing cars for some time now, but by the looks of things he really needs to brush up on his handling skills. And he might want to read over the North Carolina laws for operating a motor vehicle while he’s at it.

Waltrip claims that he fell asleep while driving to his home and was less than a mile from his destination when he slammed into a telephone pole on Friday night. Apparently, he lost control of his Land Cruiser on a turn and then rolled the vehicle after he overcorrected his error. There’s no report on if Waltrip lost control while turning left.

After climbing out of the vehicle, a bloody Waltrip left the scene and then never notified the fuzz about his accident. But, believe it or not, the coppers came across the flipped SUV a little while later and tracked Waltrip down. He was issued tickets for reckless driving and failing to report an accident.

I am really embarrassed about the accident, but I feel fortunate that I wasn’t hurt,” the two-time Daytona 500 winner said Tuesday.

“For 25 years I have had a great driving record. I consider myself to be a courteous and safe driver on public roads. I never expected to fall a sleep behind the wheel of a car.

Looks like Waltrip is going to stick with his “fell asleep at the wheel” story, but we have a sneaking suspicion that this is another case of celebrity DUI. Ty Norris, GM of Waltrip’s racing team, said that the reason Waltrip didn’t report the accident was because his cell phone didn’t work where the accident occurred, yet the accident happened just a mile from his house. So, even if his celly didn’t work he could have called from his home phone. Guess he just “fell asleep” on the way to the phone.

Links:

[Charlotte.com]: Waltrip cited after wreck
[FoxSports.com]: Waltrip charge after rolling car in accident

Categories
Golf

Attention Sportscenter: We have found your next anchor


Every year the world’s best golfers head to Augusta, GA, to compete in the Masters. And every year the media coverage descends on the city in droves to bring you all the news that’s fit to print. Columbia, SC, TV station WLTX had a slightly different idea of what the public would find interesting to know about some of the most precisely skilled athletes on the planet. So, they sent their local sports douche, Matt Barrie, down to the links to ask these guys if they use body wash or bar soap. Wow, groundbreaking stuff.

This hick is trying way too hard to be funny when he’s really just a pathetic loser; but hey, the same gimmick worked for Stuart Scott. Now all Barrie needs is a lazy eye.

Links:

[WLTX.com]: Bar Soap vs. Body Wash

Categories
College Football

Odds and Ends: Jim Harbaugh takes the opening shot



What did I say?

Jim Harbaugh just got the job as Stanford’s coach and he’s already making enemies. Harbaugh came out and said that USC’s Pete Carroll would not be with the program come next year. Pete denied the statement and fired back with the ol’ “And if he has any questions about it he should call me.” Sounds like we have an old fashioned feud a brewin’, too bad these two won’t be suiting up when their teams get together on October 6.

In other news…

[Steroid Nation]: George Mitchell is taking his sweet time with this steroid inquiry

[Page Six]: Beckham says, why can’t I check the menu?

[BostonHerald.com]: A marathon isn’t squat after going to the moon and back

[Page Six]: LeBron like Karl Malone, loves big breaseses.

[The Big Lead]: Carl Pavano should go hang out with LeBron now

[AdFreak.com]: Christian Laettner has already ordered two boxes

And for all you ladies out there, here’s a story to help you sleep a little better at night.