This – in addition to the grueling, body-crushing preparation and competitions – is why we choose not to race bicycles for a profession.
You might not agree with Bill Maher all the time. Heck, you might not ever agree with him, but we certainly have his back on this one. Rolling Stone recruited Maher to put together a list of 2007 Dickheads of the Year and his No. 1 selection was the dog burier Michael Vick.
Stop saying what he did is a cultural thing, just one of those things black folks are known for, like jazz. He’s not one of the Scottsboro boys, he electrocuted dogs.
In other news…
[KGBT.com]: Bicycling’s biggest road hazard
[UnCoached.com]: Top 10 Tailgating Schools in the Nation
[The Big Lead]: Who wants to sex Big Brown?
[Lion in Oil]: Tanks from the Twins
[Busted Coverage]: NASCAR beatdown
[Sportsby Brooks]: Sweet Lou shows up in the strangest places
And finally, this is why the best seat to any live wrestling event is on your own couch.
Ever wonder what the locals do during the other eleven months of the year when the Tour de
Farce France isn’t in town?
We don’t know about ya’ll, but there’s no way we’re changing a tire on anything with our manhood hanging out. Not even if there’s shrinkage of frightened turtle proportions.
George Hood, 49, spent 85 long hours riding on a stationary bike back in January in order to grab his place in the Guinness Book of World Records. Well, at least he thought he rode for 85 hours. But leave it to the guys over at Guinness to screw the pooch on this one and leave Hood recordless and with an unnecessarily sore ass.
Turns out that the 40 or so volunteers who were in charge of keeping track of Hood’s hours on the bike couldn’t add, subtract or read a clock and Hood’s attempt at breaking the current record of 82 hours had to be nullified. This guy covered 1,080 miles without leaving the room over his three-plus day journey all for nothing. But, hey, that’s what this douche deserves for trying to pull off one of these retarded feats. So, Hood has learned his lesson right? Wrong. This living room Lance Armstrong is going to try again this summer but he’s set the bar even higher this time with a 101 hour trek in mind.
If I’m going to go through all this training and work, I want to be published,” he said. “I won’t be denied.
Dude, be denied. Don’t you know that nobody cares about this kind of stuff? When’s the last time anyone has ever gone to Guinness in order to see who has spent the longest amount of time riding a stationary bike? We’re guessing never. The only thing that stupid book is good for is the freaks. C’mon, who doesn’t remember those fat twins on the mopeds or the world’s smallest married couple? Now, those are the records that find their ways into our hearts.