Tag: Dallas Cowboys

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NFL General

We’re guessing this guy isn’t an Osos de Chicago or Vaqueros de Dallas fan

We thought that we heard something about the NFL celebrating Hispanic Heritage Month during the Cowboys/Bears game, but we just shrugged it off and figured that it was one of the voices that come to life after we’ve polished off our usual Sunday suitcase of brews. What can we say, sometimes we hallucinate in Spanish. We also heard one of `em say something about Nike designing a shoe for Native Americans. That’s when we knew it was time to retire for the evening.

Then we came across a video of this guy going bonkers over what we had figured was just a figment of our imaginations. After watching this moron, we’re starting to feel a lot more normal now.

“What’s next! WHAT’S next! WHAT’S NEXT!!” *silence*

Links:

[Kissing Suzy Kolber]: Yo Cabron, chinga tu madre!

Categories
Dallas Cowboys

Jerry Jones has been spending a little too much time with T.O.

Anyone that is familiar with Jerry Jones knows that he’s a crude, shrewd business man who will do whatever he believes is right in order to improve his team. Of course, his tendency to delve into matters which should probably be handled by the coaches of the team has rubbed some lots of people the wrong way over the years. But forget everything you’ve ever known about Michael Jackson Jones because we just found out that he can cut a serious rug!

We’ve only got one thing to say to that, “HOW `BOUT THEM COWBOYS!”

Categories
NFL General

The Hall of Fame finally welcomes in a hankieless Michael Irvin

We know that getting inducted into the Hall of Fame is the pinnacle of any professional athlete’s career, so we can completely understand why players get a little emotional at times.  Well, to say that Michael Irvin got a tad teary eyed during his induction speech would be an understatement.  

Many people are saying that it was one of the most inspirational, touching, motivational acceptance speeches in the history of the Hall.  We’re not going to go that far because, frankly, we couldn’t even pay attention to the words coming out of his mouth with all the snot coming out of his nose!  Damn, couldn’t someone hand Irvin a Kleenex?  This is one of those rare times when ESPN HD is a bad thing.

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All Other Sports

More proof that tight jeans cut off the blood flow to cowboys’ brains

Rodeos have never made much sense to us. Neither have bull fights. So, needless to say, we’re completely perplexed as to why people would stand in the middle of an arena and play chicken with a pissed off bull. Now, we don’t condone violence, but these guys are so stupid that there’s no way we would feel bad if they took a horn gore right in the ass.

Unfortunately, all we got was a little rag-dolling, but it’s not from a lack of wishful thinking. Hmmm, perhaps this could be a suitable punishment for Michael Vick if when he’s found guilty. Seems like a reasonable trade off; he murders dogs by slamming their bodies to the ground, now we’ll see what happens when 1,000 lbs. of snorting beef starts tossing him around.

Categories
Dallas Cowboys

Just who the hell is Tony Romo?

We’re not really sure how an athlete who botches a crucial game winning FG in the playoffs can get so much love but it seems now that Jessica Simpson is going out of her way to try to meet Tony Romo.

First, a little history. On his first MNF game, Tony Romo mentioned that his celebrity crush was Jessica Simpson. The next thing you know, there are rumors flying all over the place that he’s dating her because he left two tickets for her dad at a Cowboys game. That was pretty much gossip rag invented crap. Then, out of nowhere, he scores Carrie Underwood, the hottest thing ever to come out of American Idol and he’s judging the Miss Universe contest.

But that’s not all. Romo reportedly has dumped Carrie Underwood because she wants a commitment and he “wants to focus on football” so he needs his space. And his space includes inviting Jessica Simpson to Dallas after the Jessica Simpson camp (stupid celebrities) made a big push to get her and Romo together.

If you’re not a Dallas Cowboys fan, you’ve got to love this nonsense that’s going on here. Pretty soon, T.O. will be sick of Romo’s media coverage and do something really stupid. And that basically will be a complete blogger meltdown day. We can’t wait.

By the way, look at the two photos of Carrie Underwood and Jessica “I am going through male hormone therapy” Simpson. Is Tony Romo going blind, insane, or gay? Maybe he and A-Rod can go cruising for she-males together.

Categories
Washington Wizards

Odds and Ends: Hey, is that Caron Butler at your birthday party?


From DC Sports Bog comes a story of how Caron Butler had nothing better to do so he showed up at some kid’s suprise birthday party.


[Caron] said everyone in the community has been “real courteous and very kind” to him, and that local fans have supported him since he’s been here, and that he just thought he should reciprocate.

“I thought it was a good thing to do, to make someone’s dream come true. It was just as rewarding for me as it was for him.

In other news…

[NBA.com]: Villanova star Howard Proter dies at 58

[Star Bulletin]: Listen, if your last name is Kim, please don’t name your daughter Kim. Kim Kim is a stupid name.

[Star Telegram]: Keyshawn says Tony Romo is the most overhyped player in the NFL

[Sportsline]: Utah fans show some real class by throwing stuff on the court

[Dallas News]: Dirk for Kobe?

[Sac Bee]: Can the Raiders and Niners share new stadium?

[10,000 Takes]: Contextual advertising isn’t all its cracked up to be

[Our Book of Scrap]: Who the hell would want to buy a used cigarette from Jack Lambert?

Categories
Dallas Cowboys

A Cowboy rescues a horse. Go figure.


Big Leonard Davis left the Cardinals for the Cowboys during the off-season but the offensive lineman still owns a home out in Arizona which is where he was on Wednesday. And there is one particular horse, yes horse, named Ranger who is very happy that Davis was in town.

See, the former Longhorn was heading to his home in Chandler, Ariz. after playing in a golf tournament for the Boys when he noticed a horse stuck in a mudhole down the street from his ranch. Being a good ol’ boy at heart, Davis jumped in his John Deere tractor and sprung into action by strapping up the horse and hoisting it to safety.

I was just doing what anybody else would have done,” Davis said. “I wasn’t scared at all. I grew up on a farm pulling cows and horses out of the mud. No big deal.

It might not be that big of a deal for you Leonard, but we think it’s pretty admirable. We’re proud of you, man! At least somebody in the world of sports cares about animals.

Oh, and for all you future reporters out there, here’s an example of how not to write this story.

Links:

[KVUE.com]: No horsing around: Davis comes to the rescue

Categories
Dallas Cowboys

Tony Romo is doing just fine, thankyouverymuch


Allow us to get all US Weekly up in here for a few minutes. We’re not really sure how this is important but nevertheless, here’s a photo of Tony Romo and Carrie Underwood at his birthday party. And she is looking very very good while hanging all over him. We don’t understand how such a hottie can be seen with such a doofus, known mostly for fumbling and bumbling away a playoff victory. It must be that awww shucks, I do a great impression of Brett Favre charm.

The other purpose of of this post is to point you to a very entertaining blog called Girls Gone Sports. We aren’t really sure what it is about the site that’s so appealing… oh right, it’s the random shots (covered unfortunately) of their breasesesses in posts. Example 1. Example 2. Now, we hope we aren’t completely swindled and the blog is actually written by a couple of gay dudes (lots of talk about shopping and hot dudes)… but whatever… breasts!

By the way, as everyone else has pointed out, the watermarking by the radio show who took the photos is super lame. Why bother posting photos if you’re gonna ruin em like that? (Hat tip: Sports By Brooks)

Categories
Texas Rangers

Odds and Ends: Six Degrees of Kenny Lofton


We stumbled upon this amazing stat today on InsideBayArea.com: 87% of active players have roomed with Lofton. How is that even possible? That’s gotta be a misprint right? He’d be like the Derek Jeter Justin Timberlake of baseball, hitting hotel rooms with everyone in sight. We think the writer was using one of them artistic license thingamajigs. Nonetheless, it’s pretty amazing the number of unis Lofton has donned over the years.

Kenny Lofton broke into the majors in 1991 with the Astros, spent 9 seasons with the Indians (with a stint in Atlanta to break up the monotony) and since then has played for a different team (or two) every season. 2002: White Sox, Giants. 2003: Cubs, Pirates. 2004: Yankees. 2005: Phillies. 2006: Dodgers. 2007: Rangers. Wow. What a baseball ho.

In other news:

[Portfolio.com]: Athlete stock exchange? It’s one way for college players like Kevin Durant to get paid.

[SignOnSanDiego]: Teenage matador who left Spain because they ban teenage matadors gets gored by bull in Mexico. Of course.

[Flash Warner]: In case you needed more evidence that Bode Miller is a bitch.

[Yay Sports]: Sure, Danny Ainge has made a mistake… or 5.

[The Hater Nation]: Damn, you’d think Tom Coughlin shtupped his wife or something. Give it a rest, Tiki.

And finally, a couple of youtube videos that prove that video blogging is a BAD BAD idea. First, a Cowboys fan calls out an Eagles blogger. And then an Eagles fan(?) compares Eagles fans and Cowboys fans to Shiite and Sunni muslims and asks, can’t we just get along?

Categories
Vancouver Canucks

Odds and Ends: Watch out for the crackers!



Endorsement deal coming up

Vancouver Canuck Brent Sopel enters the stupid injury hall of fame after he got a back spasm while bending down to pick up a cracker. He missed the morning practice and the epic 4 OT game last night between the Canucks and the Stars. That’s gotta be the weakest injury since Marty Cordova missed a game because he spent too much time under a tanning bed.

What? Were you expecting a Chris Rock joke?

In other news…

[AOL Sports]: Jason Whitlock: “I’m calling for Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton, the president and vice president of Black America, to step down.”

[Sports by Brooks]: So that’s what Elizabeth Shue has been up to

[Flash Warner]: Would it really make a difference if the Raiders had an easy schedule?

[AOL Fanhouse]: Super-Gangsta Stu Scott says calling a woman a Ho is “affectionate”. And when we call Stu a douchebag, it’s a term of endearment.

[Egotastic]: Will Ferrell + Jenna Fischer in a corset = awesome. (via Mr. Irrelevant)

And finally, two different takes on Drew Bledsoe’s retirement. This one is nice. This one is just mean.