Dallas Cowboys

Just who the hell is Tony Romo?

We’re not really sure how an athlete who botches a crucial game winning FG in the playoffs can get so much love but it seems now that Jessica Simpson is going out of her way to try to meet Tony Romo.

First, a little history. On his first MNF game, Tony Romo mentioned that his celebrity crush was Jessica Simpson. The next thing you know, there are rumors flying all over the place that he’s dating her because he left two tickets for her dad at a Cowboys game. That was pretty much gossip rag invented crap. Then, out of nowhere, he scores Carrie Underwood, the hottest thing ever to come out of American Idol and he’s judging the Miss Universe contest.

But that’s not all. Romo reportedly has dumped Carrie Underwood because she wants a commitment and he “wants to focus on football” so he needs his space. And his space includes inviting Jessica Simpson to Dallas after the Jessica Simpson camp (stupid celebrities) made a big push to get her and Romo together.

If you’re not a Dallas Cowboys fan, you’ve got to love this nonsense that’s going on here. Pretty soon, T.O. will be sick of Romo’s media coverage and do something really stupid. And that basically will be a complete blogger meltdown day. We can’t wait.

By the way, look at the two photos of Carrie Underwood and Jessica “I am going through male hormone therapy” Simpson. Is Tony Romo going blind, insane, or gay? Maybe he and A-Rod can go cruising for she-males together.

Dallas Cowboys

Tony Romo is doing just fine, thankyouverymuch

Allow us to get all US Weekly up in here for a few minutes. We’re not really sure how this is important but nevertheless, here’s a photo of Tony Romo and Carrie Underwood at his birthday party. And she is looking very very good while hanging all over him. We don’t understand how such a hottie can be seen with such a doofus, known mostly for fumbling and bumbling away a playoff victory. It must be that awww shucks, I do a great impression of Brett Favre charm.

The other purpose of of this post is to point you to a very entertaining blog called Girls Gone Sports. We aren’t really sure what it is about the site that’s so appealing… oh right, it’s the random shots (covered unfortunately) of their breasesesses in posts. Example 1. Example 2. Now, we hope we aren’t completely swindled and the blog is actually written by a couple of gay dudes (lots of talk about shopping and hot dudes)… but whatever… breasts!

By the way, as everyone else has pointed out, the watermarking by the radio show who took the photos is super lame. Why bother posting photos if you’re gonna ruin em like that? (Hat tip: Sports By Brooks)

LA Lakers

Luke Walton has lost his damn mind

There was a time when Britney Spears was arguably one of the 5 hottest chicks in the universe. When, if she had posed for playboy, it would have been the best selling issue of any magazine in the history of the world. Remember her in the red catsuit in the Oops I Did It Again video? That was when you would have liked to tag that. That album was released in May of 2000.

Well it’s almost May 2007 and Luke Walton is now getting around to dating Britney Spears? Does he realize that Britney has morphed into a digusting bloated bald mess with mental issues? Because someone should really tell him. The Lakers should immediately get his eyes checked and look into terminating his contract for indecent conduct.

This bit of news completely boggles the mind. You’re a ballplayer for chrissakes. Take a look at Tony Parker or Kobe Bryant. That’s how it’s done, Luke. And it’s not like you’re Sam Cassell, you can do a lot better than this. Hell, doing Sam Cassell might be better than Britney at this point. Throw it down, big man, throw it down.

By the way, do you want to know why we hate Britney so much? It’s because she completely let us down. How do you go from such a hot piece of tail to the chubby chick who works at Cinnabon right before our eyes. Every single cheeto, every milkshake, every white trash moment caught on camera. Just stop eating the damn cheetos! It’s like watching your team blow a 6.5 game lead with 12 to play.

Pics of Britney Spears looking extra super hot after the jump.


General Sports

This sounds like the worst reality show ever

ABC has a new reality show called “Fast Cars and Superstars: Gillette Young Guns Celebrity Race”. The show puts all the NASCAR drivers who pimp Gilette into teams with random celebs. The professional drivers were the teachers in classroom and on-track training.

The list of celebs are: Bill Cowher, John Elway, Serena Williams, William Shatner, Krista Allen (of some ABC show), Jewel and her boyfriend Ty Murray, John Salley, Tony Hawk, John Cena, Laird Hamilton (surfer) and husband Gabby Reece.

Details are hazy since ABC won’t comment on the show but do the couples (Jewel/Ty and Laird/Gabby) have to drive together? And why exactly is Jewel anywhere near a racetrack? We expect this show to have terrible ratings because 1) it sounds god awful, and 2) everyone came out of it unharmed. Why would you watch a celebrity driving reality show (or NASCAR for that matter) except to see spectacular wrecks. Now we’re not saying we want to see any celebrities harmed but knowing that we won’t see William Shatner running out of a flaming car in his underwear takes away from the fun of it.

[Mondesi’s House]: CowheReality
[Post-Gazette]: Cowher rides onto reality show

College Basketball

Leave The Guessing Up To The Experts

I’m unbiased baby!

At some point every year, college hoops fans come to a crossroads when it comes to filling out their tournament brackets. Whether it’s in the first round or the Final Four, there are always those toss-up games that will drive you to the brink of insanity. Well, now you don’t have to frantically scan through all the menial stats and scenarios because celebrities like Doogie Howser, Lauren Holly, and Dicky V (actually stay away from Dick’s picks, his bracket has Coach K’s kids winning it every year) have already done all the hard work for you. And if you think that all their predictions suck then you can rely on the national popular opinion. But, why do that when it’s so much more fun to ridicule individuals for your own mistakes.

Neil Patrick Harris,
Jeff Probst,
Tony Kornheiser,
Sam Hornish Jr.,
Lauren Holly,
Seth Davis,
Dick Vitale,
Clark Kellogg,
ESPN Experts,
National Bracket

It looks like an overwhelming number of votes are being cast for the Gators to make it through the entire field win a second consecutive championship. That’s just fine with us, as long as we can see a repeat performance of Joakim Noah’s spastic boogey.

NFL General

OJ Simpson is Anna Nicole’s baby daddy?

OJ Simpson thinks he might be the father of Anna Nicole’s baby Dannielynn but actually doesn’t want it to be his because he’s afraid that Fred Goldman (the guy who owns OJ at this point) will try to seize her money. OJ is kidding right? We think so but anyone who can convince himself he didn’t kill two people can convince himself anything.

The double-murder acquittee “said he was throwing his hat into the ring,” Norm Pardo told Page Six. Pardo is the videographer who amassed 70 hours of footage of Simpson from 2000 to 2005. “He said he knew Anna Nicole pretty well, and he said he had slow-moving sperm, and he might be the father.” Simpson and Smith were castmates in “Naked Gun 331/3: The Final Insult” (1994), and Anna Nicole was certainly O.J.’s type.

Do we really need to put acquittee? Can’t we just replace “acquittee” with “er”? Anyway, the quote makes no sense. Somehow having slow-moving sperm would be the key to knocking up Anna Nicole Smith? Or maybe OJ had sex with her waaaay before Danielynn was born and thinks his sperm just took a while to eventually get there.

Finally, check out the pic we cobbled of OJ and his alleged baby daughter. See the resemblance? Yeah, neither do we. This reminds us of the Chinese couple that had a black baby — they named it Someting Wong.


New England Patriots

Tom Brady is living the dream

At the risk of turning into some sort of gossipy knitting circle, we do have to report that the rumors are indeed true — Tom Brady is dating Gisele Bundchen. US Weekly has a photo of them walking back to her NYC apartment where they probably spent all night looking at game film.

Gisele: Tom, are you sad you threw that interception to Marlon Jackson and won’t be in the Super Bowl?
Brady: Yeah… sure. (thinking: who cares? This is better than the SB.)

Let us remind you that Tom Brady was a sixth round draft pick who got his chance cause Drew Bledsoe punctured a lung against the Jets. And now he’s trading in Bridget Moynahan for a 26 year old Brazilian model. Forget about Wally Pip. Drew Bledsoe should be the new Wally Pip in sports references… hell all references.

By the way, shouldn’t Brady be smiling more?

[US Weekly]: Tom & Gisele Step Out Together

New England Patriots

When does Tom Brady’s deal with the devil expire?

First, let’s talk about football. Peyton Manning goes 15 for 30, 170 yards, 0 TDs and 2 INTs and a 39.6 QB rating. Tom Brady goes 27-51, 280 yards, 2 TDs and 3 INTs and a 57.6 QB rating. Both quarterbacks played pretty poorly. Tom Brady’s last interception cost the Patriots the game… oh wait, no it didn’t because Marlon McCree is a goddamn idiot… In any case, Tom Brady is “a winner who delivers in the clutch” and Peyton Manning is “lucky to be in the AFCCG”. Doesn’t seem fair does it?

Well, here’s what else is not fair. Tom Brady had Gisele Bundchen waiting for him outside the Patriots locker room while all Peyton Manning has is a bunch of fat sportswriters. Boston Herald’s The Track (Page Six?) reported:

She was standing outside the locker room, just kind of leaning against the wall,” said our spy in the bowels of QualComm Stadium. “No one noticed her, she was dressed like a high-school kid, just in jeans and a T-shirt. But she is gorgeous.

It’s good to be Tom Brady.

[Boston Herald]: Does Tom have Secret he’d like to share

Houston Rockets

Yao Ming does not have jungle fever

(Does anyone still use the term jungle fever anymore? That movie was like what… 1992?)

There’s a rule about lying. If you’re gonna make something up, make it so preposterous that it’s believable. is rumor-mongering (thank you Al Davis) that Yao Ming is dating 5’2″ Nia Long because he became a huge fan of hers while watching The Fresh Price of Bel Aire in China. First of all, did Fresh Prince of Bel Aire even air in China? Second, wasn’t this the plot of the Borat movie?

Reuters (slightly more credible than MediaTakeOut) has Yao denying the story:

Isn’t it too ridiculous? I saw the news on Internet. The writer is so good at hoaxes. What’s that? She’s only 1.57m. I’m 2.26m. Does it sound reasonable?

Reuters also reports that his long term girlfriend Ye Li is living with him. So if Yao is really dating Nia Long… then kudos to you Yao. Just don’t get caught in Colorado on a rape charge. You’ll never be able to score 81 points.

[Reuters ]: Basketball star dismisses love interest as tall story

San Antonio Spurs

Odds and Ends: Eva Longoria already has Tony Parker on lockdown

Yes folks, it’s just another excuse to run a pic of Eva Longoria but In Touch Weekly (you know, the magazine you pretend not to read at the dentist office) is reporting that Eva has banned Tony Parker from having a bachelor party because she thinks it’s just asking for trouble. Hmmm… unless Jessica Alba or Scarlett Johannson is showing up at the bachelor party and giving lapdances, we think Eva is pretty safe that she won’t get traded in.

In other news…

[MSNBC]: LaDanian Tomlinson becomes the first Charger to win MVP

[SI ]: Not only were the players juiced, so were the balls

[Sportsline]: If a WNBA franchise folds in the woods…

[MSNBC]: Appleby says Wie ‘not ready’ to play men

[NBA]: Finally, an NBA All-Star team worth voting for: Dancers!

[The Offside]: This might be your last chance to see Ronaldo’s ex having sex on YouTube