All Other Sports

Frat boys rejoice over the creation of a table

Christmas is right around the corner and there are a bunch of entrepreneurial opportunists out there flooding the market with a whole lotta horrible products in hopes of grabbing a fat, green slice of this year’s yuletide pie. One of the absolute worst is Pong-A-Long, a portable table made exclusively for beer pong aficionados across the world.

We’re figuring that they are basically catering to frats and guys like Dirk Nowitzki, Steve Nash, Jeremy Shockey, Greg Olsen and virtually every other goofy white guy in professional or collegiate sports. As we all know, goofy white professional athletes just love to get together for “Beer Pong Tuesdays”. And, of course, as with all officially sanctioned goofy white guy activities, Joakim Noah is invited to participate.


[Best Week Ever]: Do You Throw Ping-Pong Balls At Cups Whilst Drunk Often Enough To Require A Table Exclusively For That?

San Antonio Spurs

"Being a Spur ain’t easy"

The Spurs might be four-time NBA champions, just don’t expect them to act like four-time NBA champions. In today’s fast paced, `Johnny come lately’ world we live in, athletes never know when the endorsement deals are going to simply shrivel up and blow away. So when they’re there you gotta grab `em; even if it means dressing up like a cowboy and pushing milk to the masses.

Hey, it was either do the cowboy thing or don the beatnik outfits again. Good choice guys.


[The Big Lead]: Two Videos, One Post

General Sports

Fathead is starting to lose their marbles

We thought it would be great to get the sports-loving kids in our families some Fatheads for Christmas. What could be better than giving them a ridiculously over-sized Peyton Manning poster? Of course, then we went to their site and realized that those things cost $100 apiece! Screw that! They’re getting Lego’s and liking it. We don’t care how old they are. Build Peyton Manning. The point is that we hate Fathead and all they stand for, especially their stupid commercials.

Wow, we didn’t think anything could be more absurd than Big Ben’s spot with the rip-off artists.


[Awful Announcing]: New Fathead Commercial Scares And Confuses Me

New York Yankees

Hey, that’s my boy over there. No, not the Sox fan! He’s the baton-twirling cheerleader.

We know that the MLB season is over and the Red Sox are atop the baseball world again, but that doesn’t mean that Yankees fans aren’t still bitter.

Wow, as outsiders to the whole New York/Boston thing; we gotta admit, after seeing that father disown his ‘Sox son’ for Sonjaya’s Caucasian brother, we finally see how powerful this rivalry really is!

College Football

Kirk Herbstreit accidentally walked into Michael Irvin’s dressing room

The commercials from the College Gameday (“built by the Home Depot”) crew keep getting better and better and this one is no exception.

That one had us chuckling pretty good, but, sorry guys, the award for `funniest analyst in a self-belittling commercial’ still resides in Scott Van Pelt’s coal-crushing grip.


[Awful Announcing]: Kirk Herbstreit, Straight Pimpin

General Sports

Mike Gundy strikes again

There have been a lot of Mike Gundy imitation videos popping up on the web since he threw his little temper tantrum on Jenni Carlson a few weeks back. We thought we’d seen all of `em and we had. Well, we’d seen all the copycats on the small screens of YouTube, but we totally forgot to pay attention to the slighter larger screen that’s sitting in our living room.

That has got to be the best impression of Mike Gundy’s tirade since, well, Mike Gundy’s tirade. The only thing that guy forgot to say was “Hello! You play to win the game!” Oh, wait, we’re getting our diatribes confused. What he forgot to say was “Playoffs? Playoffs?

And while we’re still semi on the subject of commercials, have you seen the new SportsCenter ad? Grab the tissues, it’s a real tearjerker.

Oh, Scott Van Pelt; will you ever find true love?


[Can’t Stop The Bleeding]: Where’s Mike Gundy Now? Pt. 2


What’s that smell? Oh, it’s just soccer

Frankly, we just don’t get the obsession that some people have with soccer, but if you replace the soccer game that’s being shown in this commercial with a NFL game between the Raiders and the Browns and we’re in the exact same position.

And considering that most Saturdays are spent tailgating with copious amounts of greasy meat and adult beverages being consumed, this slice of life is pretty accurate for the Sportscolumn crew’s fall Sundays.

Dallas Cowboys

Jerry Jones has been spending a little too much time with T.O.

Anyone that is familiar with Jerry Jones knows that he’s a crude, shrewd business man who will do whatever he believes is right in order to improve his team. Of course, his tendency to delve into matters which should probably be handled by the coaches of the team has rubbed some lots of people the wrong way over the years. But forget everything you’ve ever known about Michael Jackson Jones because we just found out that he can cut a serious rug!

We’ve only got one thing to say to that, “HOW `BOUT THEM COWBOYS!”

Atlanta Falcons

Dodge rolls out their "Michael Vick edition" line of SUVs

Michael Vick is in a whole heap of trouble right now and, needless to say, his image is taking a serious hit that he will never recover from. People are disgusted by the nature of the crimes that he is being linked to and, as a result, all of his endorsement deals are going down the drain. Well, almost all of them. Apparently, Dodge Nitro is thinking about signing Vick to be the face of their new campaign. They’ve even created a vehicle security system that is personally designed for the Falcons QB.

“Charged with Adrenaline” and dog murder. Sounds like a great slogan to us.


[]: Dodge Nitro kills defenseless peeing dogs

NFL General

Another reason why the NFL needs better drug testing

For all you people out there who think that rage is the only emotion that can result from illegal drug use in the world of football, think again. There can be a variety of reactions that can occur from taking medications that are not specifically prescribed for an athlete. So, the next time you are watching your favorite team and wondering if they might be on drugs, here a few giveaways to look out for:

That goes a long way in explaining the Raiders pitiful offensive performance last year.