Categories
Detroit Pistons

Sheed guarantees game 4 victory

Quick you degenerate gamblers, the line is at Detroit -275 (!) but go ahead and bet the farm on the Pistons tonight. Rasheed Wallace has guaranteed victory.


I know we’re going to win. I know we’re going to bust their ass tomorrow night. It’s the last game in this building for this year. Ya’ll can quote me, put it back page, front page, whatever.

Now, if this was Tayshaun Prince guaranteeing victory, run, don’t walk, away from your bookie. But remember, Sheed has guaranteed victory twice before in the playoffs. Once against Indiana in 2004 and once this year against the Bucks. Both times, the Pistons have delivered. We’re on board with this and have put our $5 on the Pistons tonight.

Links:
[Detroit Free Press]: ‘SHEED OPEN WIDE: Rash statements? He talks the talk

Categories
MLB General

MLB Cost Index for May 15 2006

[We’ve moved the Cost Index to Mondays because what better way is there to start a week at your crappy job but to see how GMs are wasting millions of dollars on your underachieving team. For most you anyway, both on the job and on the team.]

It’s good to be the Padres, Phillies, White Sox, Astros, Cardinals and Tigers. Those teams are legitimate contenders at a relatively bargain price. It’s not good to be the Dodgers, Cubs or Angels, 3 of the most expensive teams in the league who are playing sub-.500 ball. And despite leading the league in cost per win, it still sucks to be the Marlins.

** all $ are in millions.

Rank (Pv) Team 2006 Payroll GP Wins YTD Payroll Cost/Win
1 (1) Marlins $15.0 35 11 $3.24 $0.29
2 (2) Rockies $41.1 38 21 $9.65 $0.46
3 (3) Devil Rays $35.4 38 15 $8.31 $0.55
4 (4) Reds $59.5 38 23 $13.95 $0.61
5 (5) D’backs $59.2 37 20 $13.53 $0.68
6 (7) Brewers $56.8 38 19 $13.32 $0.70
7 (12) Padres $69.7 38 22 $16.36 $0.74
8 (9) Rangers $65.5 36 19 $14.55 $0.77
9 (11) Blue Jays $71.9 37 21 $16.43 $0.78
10 (10) Tigers $82.3 37 24 $18.80 $0.78
11 (6) Indians $56.8 38 17 $13.32 $0.78
12 (8) A’s $62.3 37 18 $14.23 $0.79
13 (18) Twins $63.8 37 17 $14.57 $0.86
14 (15) Pirates $40.2 38 11 $9.44 $0.86
15 (13) Cardinals $88.4 38 24 $20.75 $0.86
16 (19) Phillies $88.3 37 22 $20.16 $0.92
17 (20) Orioles $72.6 38 18 $17.03 $0.95
18 (14) White Sox $102.9 36 24 $22.86 $0.95
19 (17) Astros $92.6 38 22 $21.71 $0.99
20 (16) Mets $100.9 37 23 $23.05 $1.00
21 (22) Royals $47.3 35 10 $10.22 $1.02
22 (21) Nationals $63.3 38 13 $14.84 $1.14
23 (24) Giants $90.9 38 18 $21.31 $1.18
24 (26) Dodgers $99.2 38 19 $23.26 $1.22
25 (23) Red Sox $120.1 35 21 $25.95 $1.24
26 (27) Braves $92.5 37 17 $21.12 $1.24
27 (28) Mariners $88.3 39 17 $21.26 $1.25
28 (25) Cubs $94.8 37 15 $21.66 $1.44
29 (29) Angels $103.6 38 16 $24.31 $1.52
30 (30) Yankees $198.7 35 21 $42.92 $2.04

Categories
MLB General

MLB Power Rankings Roundup for May 12 2006

While the White Sox and Mets still are the cream of the crop, there has been some movement below them. The Rockies and Phillies are the darlings of the Power Rankings this week.

The Rockies made the top 10 in four of the six sites we surveyed and narrowly missed out on the other two. Of course, TSN already had them in their top 10 last week, as they did the Tigers before everyone jumped on the Detroit bandwagon. So, are our neighbors to the north that much more savvy than the rest of us? Or are they just getting lucky?

Rank Sportscolumn ESPN FoxSports Sportsline USA Today TSN.ca
1 White Sox White Sox White Sox White Sox White Sox Yankees
2 Mets Mets Tigers Mets Mets Tigers
3 Cardinals Red Sox Mets Red Sox Yankees Mets
4 Reds Yankees Cardinals Yankees Red Sox White Sox
5 Yankees Blue Jays Yankees Reds Astros Rockies
6 Tigers Reds Reds Cardinals Cardinals Red Sox
7 Red Sox Cardinals Red Sox Astros Tigers Cardinals
8 Astros Tigers Blue Jays Tigers Reds Reds
9 Blue Jays Phillies Diamondbacks Phillies Blue Jays Phillies
10 Rockies Rockies Rockies Rangers Indians Diamondbacks
11-30 more more more more more more

Categories
General Sports

OJ Simpson plays Ashton Kutcher


For the low low price of $9.95 you can watch OJ selling the infamous white Bronco, dressed up as an Elvis impersonator, or selling oranges as a bum in his new pay-per-special called Juiced. It pretty much has the same “car wreck” appeal of the Simpson trial itself but, hell for $10, we’ll pretty much watch anything. Could Juiced be any worse than Benchwarmers? And plenty of people paid $10 to see that turd in the theaters.

OJ still owes a bunch of money to the Brown and Goldman families as a result of the civil suit so he’s not getting “paid” for his part. The producer of Juiced said, “Basically O.J. Simpson has decided to do this because he wants to do it, and he wanted to have fun with it.” And if you believe that, then you must believe the pranks were an elaborate scheme for OJ to track down the real killers. We’ll wager there’s an offshore account that recently got a bunch of dough deposited somewhere.

Links:
[ESPN]: Simpson pretends to sell the Bronco at a used car lot

Categories
Minnesota Vikings

The Original Whizzinator-er is heading to the CFL

The CFL has become a halfway house for the NFL’s substance abuse violators. “Come up north! We don’t bother with those little details like drug use!” We’re still awaiting Ricky Williams’ next move but Onterrio Smith is joining the Winnipeg Blue Bombers as a backup RB.

On the Blue Bombers’ web site, there is no mention of Smith’s drug use that lead to his suspension from the NFL. Only noting his career stats and that he was a teammate of the Bombers QB Tee Martin at Tennessee.


My skill is still there. It’s just a case of coming up there and learning the system. I’ve already been checking through the rule book and getting a feel for the (CFL) game. It’s brand new to me. But it’s football, so I’ll be able to adjust on the run. I’ve got no problem with whatever my role is. I’m not looking to come in and step on any toes. Hopefully everything will work out.

Plus, I keep hearing the BC bud they have up here is unbelievable.

OK… we might have made up that last part.

Links:
[Winnipeg Sun]: Bombers sign Onterrio Smith
[Winnipeg Blue Bombers]: Onterrio heads north to join Blue

Categories
MLB General

Full Count for Fri May 12 2006: Now that’s a sacrifice hit

1. Rowand wins over the Philly fans: Yesterday was possibly one of the rainiest days in MLB history, as games were called off in Baltimore, Chicago, and Pittsburgh. Though it was also drizzling in Philadelphia, they played anyway, but only for five innings. The Phillies took advantage of the shortened game, winning the game and the series against New York. The only two runs of the game were off a Chase Utley homerun and David Bell’s RBI single. But the play of the day was made by Aaron Rowand in centerfield, who made an unbelievable catch while crashing into the wall with the bases loaded. Rowand was sent to the hospital because he was broke his nose after the collision against the wall. But we’re sure he’s fine–his catch saved the game against the Mets.

2. Are we sure he didn’t get hurt again?: Ken Griffey Jr. is back for the Reds, and no one could have asked for anything more out of him in Thursday’s 5-4 win over the struggling Nationals. Through 8 innings this was a one-run game, but a sacrifice fly in the ninth sent this contest to extras. In the 11th, everything went wild. The Nationals scored three runs in the top of the inning, but the Reds answered back against their bullpen. First Felipe Lopez hit an RBI single, and then it was Griffey’s turn with two on base. Naturally, Griffey hit a 413-foot shot, winning the game and keeping the Reds in first place at 22-13. before the extra inning craziness, Bronson Arroyo had another superb start for Cincy, allowing no runs in 8 innings.

3. It’s Peavy time: Jake Peavy, the Padres’ ace, has struggled throughout most of this season. In fact, he had a losing record coming into last night’s game against the Brewers. Well, his struggles are over now, as he shut out the Brew Crew through seven innings and fanned 13 batters. Peavy (3-3) was even successful at the plate–he went 2-3 and drove in two runs. However, the Padres bullpen almost blew the game, despite being given an 8-run lead with two innings left. Dewon Brazelton, possibly the worst pitcher in the majors, allowed 4 runs and didn’t record and out. Thankfully for Peavy, the Padres still came out on top, 8-5.

4. Double Blow: The Yankees did not have a good day at all on Thursday. They lost to the Red Sox, surrendering the division lead and giving the Red Sox the series win at Yankee Stadium. Mark Loretta went 4-6 and drove in 3 runs, including a go-ahead two-run single in the 7th. Tim Wakefield pitched well for the Sox, striking out nine in 6 innings, and Jonathan Papelbon picked up his league-leading 13th save. Both teams now have 13 losses, though the Red Sox have two more wins. But here’s the worst news for Yankees fans: Hideki Matsui broke his wrist in the first inning and will be out for three months.

5. Cut off: What is it with these ESPN personalities? Rick Sutcliffe, a former Cy Young winner and now a baseball analyst for You-Know-Who, got his mic cut off after a rambling interview during the local TV broadcast of the Padres-Brewers game. The manager of Channel 4 called the interview “embarrassing” and said Sutcliffe used “remarkably poor judgment.” Sutcliffe, a former announcer for Channel 4, joined Matt Vasgersian and Mark “Mud” Grant in the booth during Thursday’s game. The interview started out fine but then Sutcliffe began to talk random topics. He said his daughter was going to Africa “like George Clooney” and asked Vasgersian why he was broadcasting Padres games when he could be working for ESPN. Then his mic was cut off. At least this isn’t the only controversial thing that happened with announcers at Petco Park. I’m sure the name Keith Hernadez reminds you guys of something…

Categories
General Sports

Does Bristol U teach a course in ripping people off?

Remember when Colin Cowherd ripped off the M-Zone and then belittled them when they call him out? Well, this time, Bill Simmons is ripping off Jenn Sterger of all people. Since hundreds of people have ripped off the Sposts Guy over the years, he probably thinks turnabout is fair play. But really, the FSU Cowgirl? For shame. (Although it’s a good excuse for us to post a pic of her…)

In other news…

[MSNBC]: Jimmy Smith calls it a career.

[SI.com]: Preview of World Cup activities: prostitution crackdown in Germany.

[Reuters]: Sharapova is fighting for equal rights

[Flyers Fan Central]: As if getting bounced by the Sabres wasn’t enough, Flyers could lose Forsberg until Jan 07.

[Mets Walkoffs]: The rules for attending a ball game.

[College Humor]: Bobby Knight’s c*%@%^*@ing motherf@#!ing bull$#%@ golf show

Categories
Arizona Cardinals

Now is SI calling Nick Lachey or Matt Leinart a douche?



Who is the douche?

It’s not often that a national website will come out and call someone a douche so it’s rather surprising that SI.com included this photo of Matt Leinart and Nick Lachey with the filename “douche.jpg”. Was this photo labeled before or after the news that he might have nailed Paris Hilton? Cause then the filename antiobiotics.jpg is more in order.

(Thanks to the folks at Fark who have way too much time on their hands.)

Categories
MLB General

Full Count for Thu May 11 2006: Did the Royals play a minor league team?

1. Royal Flush: The Kansas City Royals seemed destined to be one of the worst teams in the MLB from the time the season started. They fulfilled their destiny for a while, but now, they aren’t the worst team anymore! KC completed a sweep of the Indians on Wednesday, with a surprise offensive outburst of 10 runs and 12 hits. We didn’t know the Royals offense was capable of this kind of production, as they scored a combined 24 runs on the series. Kansas City was balanced throughout the lineup, as each starter had an RBI. Jake Westbrook was their main victim, allowing 8 runs in 5.2 innings. The Royals now own the Indians, as their season record against the team is 5-1. Their overall record is now a game better than the Marlins.

2. The 77 year old battle: The Yankees-Red Sox game last night featured some of the best oldie pitchers in the majors. Mike Mussina and Curt Shilling were the starters, but Shilling was clearly outpitched as the Yankees won 7-3. Shilling gave up six runs and fell to 5-2 on the year. Alex Rodriguez, Jason Giambi, and Jorge Posada went yard off Shilling for the Yanks. And despite David Ortiz’s 4-4 with a homerun performance, Mussina (6-1) held the Sox to 3 runs in his 6 innings. Now the two teams are tied for the division lead again. Whoever wins tonight will take a one-game lead.

3. Un-der-rated!: Quick–name the best pitcher in the MLB so far this season. Martinez, Shilling, Maddux? No, it’s Arizona starter Brandon Webb, a Cy Young candidate who has established himself as one of the game’s best pitchers. He improved to 6-0 on the season last night, defeating Pittsburgh with six strong innings. His ERA is 2.30, and he is the league leader in innings pitched. In speaking of underrated, Arizona closer Jose Valverde earned his 10th save of the season. His ERA is 2.70. Oh yeah, Arizona got some offense too. Chad Tracy went 4-4, and the suddenly quiet Shawn Green drove in 3 runs. `Zona is in second place in the NL West.

4. Opposite directions: The Astros and the Cardinals were very close in the standings a week ago, but now the teams are on opposite streaks. While the Astros (19-15) have lost 6 in a row now, the Cards (22-13) have won 5 of their last 6. Last night Albert Pujols hit his 18th homer of the year for St. Louis, becoming the fastest to reach 18 homers since 1923. His 2 RBIs gave him 43 on the year, and he is on pace for over 200 in this category. The Cardinals defeated the Rockies, 7-4. Meanwhile, Houston fell to Los Angeles, 9-6. Lance Berkman (12) hit a three-run homerun, but the Dodgers got two round-trippers of their own from Rafeal Furcal and Jeff Kent. The Dodgers have won five in a row.

5. Moving backward: While the NFL’s labor situation received plenty of attention recently, the MLB’s labor situation could turn out to be just as improtant. If they cannot agree to a new labor contract by August, the MLB will scrap the 2006 drug policy and use the 2005 policy. This year’s drug policy mandates a 50 game suspension for the first offense, 100 for the second, and a lifetime ban for the third. The 2005 plan is much weaker: it gives 10/30/60 suspensions instead and doesn’t include testing for amphetamines. Of course, this doesn’t make Congress very happy. Government Reform Committee chairman Tom Davis sent a letter to commissioner Bud Selig stating that the issue raises “congressional concern.” This could get very, very interesting…

Categories
All Other Sports

Duke lacrosse case rears its ugly head again

We’ve been Duke lacrosse scandal-free for the past couple of weeks but a new development in the case has surfaced. Forensic scientists have found tissue under a fingernail of the alleged victim that was “consistent” with one of the 46 lacrosse players but ruled out a match with any of the other 45 players.

However, there was only a partial match and a DNA expert, Theodore D. Kessis, owner of Applied DNA Resources, details the odds.


It really depends then upon how partial is that profile. A lot of people are of the opinion, including myself, that if it’s supposed to test for 13, it should get 13, and something less than 13 is starting to hinge on the reliability of the result.

When you get down into the two or three partial match, you get numbers that might be 1 in 6, it might be 1 in 10, so what happens then is the question of what’s the probative value of the report. … People play the lottery on worse odds.

Sources also said that the DNA pattern was consistent with the mysterious “third person” that the dancer was only able to identify with 90 percent accuracy. Also a male pubic hair was linked to the case. We believe the legal term for this is… Ruh Roh Raggy.

Links:
[Herald Sun]: First DNA link possible in lacrosse case
[News & Observer]: The cabbie who was the alibi for Colin Finnerty arrested for previous misdemeanor.
[NBC17]: Duke Official: Rape Report Based On Overheard Conversation