You just have to watch this video medley of various Ali G NBA commercials to understand why the NBA playoffs are watched by everyone and OLN gets less ratings than reruns of Night Court. Listening to Denis Leary or Keifer Sutherland’s voice-over work for “my Stanley Cup” somehow doesn’t make us want to watch more NHL. But Ali G? Genius.
Proving once again that with enough talent, somebody is going to take a shot at a reclamation project, the Dolphins signed Marcus Vick as a “slash”. He’s listed as quarterback/wide receiver/specialist but the Dolphins didn’t even work him out at the QB position on the last day of the three day mini-camp so any playing time he gets will be at the WR or kick return position. That is, if he even makes the team.
Nick Saban issued a CYA statement:
I want to make it very clear that we will not condone any behavior issues in the future relative to Marcus Vick. Marcus acknowledges that he has made some mistakes, all of which have resulted in severe consequences for him. They have helped him learn that he will need to make much better choices and decisions in the future or risk similar consequences that could jeopardize his career as a professional.
As an organization, we did an enormous amount of research, including consulting with professionals in detailed, in-depth analysis to feel comfortable that giving Marcus an opportunity as a free agent is a risk worth taking. Marcus has made a commitment to this organization and our fans to represent the Miami Dolphins in a first-class manner.
We think first class means only brandishing firearms outside 4 star restaurants, not McDonalds. Somehow we don’t think Marcus Vick is going to be able to stay on the straight and narrow but if he’s able to have half the career that Antwaan Randle El has had, he’ll be lucky.
Links:
[Miami Herald]: Younger Vick joins Dolphins
1. It’s not that bad: The Braves’ situation isn’t as bad as it was a few weeks ago. After defeating the Marlins last night, they improved to 18-20 on the season. They are 6-2 in May, and are only 5.5 games out of the division lead. Last night, they put on an offensive showcase in a 11-8 win over the Marlins. Brian McCann, the Braves’ vastly underrated catcher, drove in five runs and hit his 5th homer. McCann is leading the NL in batting average with .352 on the season. Andruw Jones also was excellent, going 4-4 with 4 RBIs. The Braves are taking advantage of a 10 game stretch against lowly Washington and Florida.
2. It is that bad: The Orioles, expected by many to finish last in the AL East, have surprised many this season by going 18-21 so far. Actually, their record would be a lot better had they not played the Red Sox so many times. They have lost all of their 7 games against the Sox this year, and dating back to last year the streak is 12 games. Nothing changed last night, as Boston soared to a 11-1 romp. Josh Beckett pitched excellently, with a 2-hitter through 7 innings on his 26th birthday. Jason Varitek scored a career-high 4 runs, and Willy Mo Pena homered and drove in 3. The Sox, at 22-14, have a one-game lead in the East.
3. Stuck on you: We haven’t written about Barry Bonds in a while here at Full Count, and that’s because he hasn’t done anything. Last night, he continued his homerless streak in the Giants’ 10-1 blowout over the Astros. Bonds did hit an RBI double, but he failed to go yard for his seventh straight game. The pressure of getting the next one (and another) homers is weighing on Barry. Before, Bonds spoke of the “ghost of Babe Ruth” hovering around.
4. Inner City Rivalries: Interleague play starts this week for some teams, and there are definitely some interesting matchups to look forward to. The Yankees and Mets play at Shea, which could prove to be one of the more intense series of the regular season. The White Sox host the Cubs, which might look intriguing on paper but will likely be a blowout. On Sunday, Carlos Zambrano and Jose Contreras face off in a guaranteed pitcher’s duel. And, in what is inferably considered an inter-town rivalry based on the name change, the Dodgers and Angels play. There are also multiple interstate rivalries which are less interesting. St. Louis travels to Kansas City, San Francisco to Oakland, Texas to Houston, Baltimore to Washington, and Florida vs. Tampa Bay (which will easily be the least-attended series of all time). Atlanta and Arizona are the teams left out of interleague play this time around, though the Hudson vs. Webb matchup on Sunday could be worth watching.
5. This is where the pot goes: Freddie Garcia’s tokin’ in the offseason hasn’t affected his game. Last night, he won his sixth game in a row, allowing 3 runs on seven hits in 6 2/3 innings. That’s good enough to lead the league in wins. Let’s hope little leaguers don’t take notice of his training habits.
Jose Canseco insists he can still hit Major League pitching but while he’s waiting for the call, he’s honing his skills in the Los Angeles Men’s Senior Baseball League. Or maybe he just enjoys being the ringer. Valley Mets manager Gary Zelmen quotes, “What a weapon. It’s like cheating.”
Aluminum bats, high school fields, Canseco hitting it about 480 feet. That pretty much sums up the league. That, and Jose’s gotta chip in $5 to pay the umpire. You gotta give it to Canseco though. The guy clearly loves to play the game. People (ok.. we) make fun of Canseco and Rickey Henderson all the time for trying to stay in the game past their expiration date but unless they’re doing it for the money, it’s actually refreshing. Could you imagine Barry Bonds playing any kind of organized ball after he retires? Bonds doesn’t just not love the game, he clearly hates it.
Meanwhile, Canseco is jacking em out of high school fields and the other guys in the league get to say they played ball with a major leaguer. Oh, and if you want to go check it out. The Mets are playing the Cardinals at Westminster High School on 5/21.
Links:
[SF Gate]: Canseco back on the diamond, having fun as an amateur
[MSBL]: The Men’s Senior Baseball League of Southern California
There’s an excellent piece in the Charlotte Observer today by Stan Olson about why the major league steroids policy is a sham. Olson contends that if steroids testing were working, then home runs should be down. Instead, home run totals are the highest they’ve been since 2000, the “heart of what we now believe to have been the steroid era”.
Why? Because the best performance enhancer is HGH, which can only be detected in a blood test. So despite MLB’s recent tough penalties on minor league players, it’s all a joke. Major Leagues know that they only have to pee in a cup… and so the homers go on.
In other news…
[SwanShadow]: Doug Flutie calls it a career
[Tom Bejamin’s NHL weblog]: Why the Ottawa Senators screwed the pooch
[Chicago Sports]: Azumah taken to the cleaners
[HockeyDirt.com]: As if low ratings for hockey on OLN weren’t enough, the USHHOF closes
[Detroit Free Press]: Need4Sheed blogger gets some love
[Jes Golbez]: There’s nothing better than irrational hate for a team
MSG Chairman James Dolan is reportedly going to buy out Larry Brown’s $50M contract and have Isiah Thomas coach the team. If the 2005-2006 season (23-59) for the New York Knicks was like hitting the iceberg, then this news is like a meteor striking the ship while capsized.
We laugh at the Yankees for paying about $2M per win but if Brown gets bought out for the entire amount, that works out to about $2.2M per win just to pay the coach. Money, meet toilet.
Let’s talk about Isiah Thomas first. Here’s a guy who couldn’t coach a talented Indian Pacers team out of the first round of the playoffs, who got dismissed by the Pacers, and who bankrupted and destroyed an entire league. Now Dolan wants to get rid of his hall of fame coach so that Zeke can get even less out of the league’s highest payroll? If Isiah Thomas gets the job, it’s only a matter of time before Steve Francis and Stephon Marbury fight each other to the death to decide who runs the asylum. The rest of the Atlantic division must be rejoicing at this news.
Now, let’s talk about Larry Brown. Has anyone else in the league been able to get paid by more people for doing less? He got Detroit to pay him $7M to leave and now he’s going to get NY to pay him up to $40M to take a job elsewhere. Here’s a note to the kids everywhere. Your goal in life is not to make a lot of money. Your goal in life is to get such a good reputation that you can screw over franchise after franchise and still have people lining up to hire you. Sacramento, you’re next up.
[NY Post]: KNICKS HOPE TO CLOSE BROWN ERA BY NEXT WEEK
[NY Daily News]: Money must grow
in Dolan’s Garden
Remember when the names of the three rapists were leaked in the search warrant? Somehow, we went from Brett, Adam, and Matt, to Colin, Reade, and Dave. Team captain Dave Forker Evans (Forker?) was indicted today by a grand jury for first degree rape, first degree sexual offense and kidnapping today. He is expected to turn himself in (and get bailed out immediately) today.
Here’s a question for you. Is it sad that everyone is burnt out on this case? We never really have anything concrete to go on. Just partial DNA matches and a bunch of spin spin spin from the defense lawyers and re-election ready righteousness from the district attorney. Is it the lack of evidence, the lawyer fatigue, or simply that we want to get on with our summers and enjoy a lazy day at the ballpark.
This is the nature of scandals these days. It better get resolved quickly or we’ll move on to the next bit of gossip on who Matt Leinart is dating. When was the last time you thought about the Rick Tocchet gambling mess?
[News & Observer]: Grand jury indicts third lacrosse player
Somehow, soccer players either are the biggest hazers in college sports or they are the ones most likely to post their photos in a public forum. Bad Jocks once again has found more hazing photos, this time from the Northwestern University Women’s soccer team.
The freshman [were] not only blindfolded but with their hands tied behind their backs with athletic tape. On top of that, the girls are seen doing calisthenics and what appears to be forced drinking, performing skits that appear to require simulated sex acts, and then the losing skit team being forced to perform lap dances.
And then Bad Jocks decides to go the serious route and do some sort of dissertation on hazing in college sports. Hmmm… let us save you the time and PhD mumbo jumbo and break it down for you. A lot of organizations haze their incoming members. Most of it is humiliating, as is the requirement of hazing. However, sometimes, it’s really gay. And when it’s really gay is when people stand up and take notice. And because this is the womens team and not the mens team, more guys will take notice. Guys in underwear and tied together? Man, we’re horrified. Girls in underwear and kissing each other. Man, we’re … sweet. Hey look, we don’t make up the rules.
Links:
[Bad Jocks]: Photos from Northwestern Womens Soccer team hazing
Listen up Sharks fans. It’s not OK to boo the Canadian national anthem. What are you, a bunch of rednecks? What exactly has Canada ever done that deserves booing? Sure, they unleashed Celine Dion on the world but they make up for that by giving us good hockey players, good beer, and Rush.
You should be booing either Joe Thornton or the post…clang. Let’s recap. It’s game 4 and the Sharks are up 3-1. On a shorthanded attempt, Thornton hits the post. An inch (or a couple centimeters for you Canadians) lower and the game is 4-1 and the Sharks go home up 3-1 in the series in position to wrap it up. Instead, the Oilers score the next 5 goals and tie up the series. Maybe that’s why you were so angry Sunday night. But enough of a trip down memory lane.
So now, in a pivotal game 5, the usually good fans at the Shark Tank decide to boo the Canadian national anthem. Not exactly smart with 10 of your players being from Canada. The Sharks go on to lose the game in the third period with stupidity and misplaced agression. Kinda like the hometown fans. Karma is a bitch.
Links:
[San Jose Mercury News]: Canadian anthem booed; players upset
1. Simply the worst: Who is the worst pitcher in the major leagues this season? Carlos Silva, who blew the game for the Twins, certainly has a valid claim. He is 2-6 with an 8.80 ERA on the year. The Padres’ Dewon Brazelton has been downright awful, with a 12.0 ERA and a laughable 2.06 WHIP. But the title–for now–goes to Toronto’s Josh Towers, who was 0-7 until winning yesterday. Towers’ ERA is 7-98, and he has allowed 59 hits in 38 innings pitched. Before last night’s game, Towers had never lasted more than 6 innings or allowed less than 3 earned runs in a start.
2. On a roll doesn’t even describe this: The Phillies might just be the hottest team in the MLB. On Sunday, they won their 13th game out of the last 14 contests, topping the Reds in a 12-inning battle. Ryan Howard, despite not even being in the starting lineup, proved to be the hero for the Phils. He hit 2 homers, producing the only Phillies runs of the day in a 2-1 victory. Howard didn’t come in until the 8th inning due to the stomach flu, but he still hit his 11th and 12th shots of the season. Now the Phillies are only one game back of the Mets for the division lead. A Philly-New York series next week will likely determine the division leader.
3. Passing Ruth: No, Barry Bonds didn’t hit any homeruns last night. But Luis Gonzalez hit his 507th double, passing the Babe on the all-time list. Gonzalez went 4-5 and scored two runs for the Diamondbacks, who edged St. Louis 7-6 to avoid a sweep. Another start by the Cardinals’ Chris Carpenter was wasted, as he allowed no earned runs (though 3 unearned) yet fell to 3-2. Carpenter’s record is unimpressive despite his 1.98 ERA, which is nearly a full point lower than last year’s. But St. Louis struggled defensively, making 3 errors that likely lost them the game. Of course, don’t fell sorry for St. Louis–they still have the best record in the NL at 24-14.
4. Walk me up: After sweeping the Cleveland Indians last week, the Kansas City Royals have returned to their old ways. Though leading 7-4 entering the 9th inning, they blew the game to complete a series sweep by Baltimore. The Royals allowed 4 runs in the ninth, with Ambiorix Burgos walking the bases loaded to start the inning. After those three runners scored, Kevin Millar won the game with a two-out RBI single. The win excused awful Orioles pitching. They walked 12 Royals in the first 8 innings, including 7 by starter Daniel “Free Pass” Cabrera. Cabrera nearly has a walk per inning on the year. The O’s still managed a win, however, and are a respectable 18-20 this season.
5. Sunday night craziness: The Sunday Night Baseball matchup this week, Twins vs. White Sox, turned out to be unexpectedly entertaining from the start. The first inning was downright wild, with Torii Hunter robbing Jim Thome of a homer but Jermaine Dye hitting a three-run shot in the top of the inning. Then the Twins put on an offensive showcase against Mark Buehrle, ripping the ace for seven runs and seven hits in the first. However, due to two errors, Buehrle was only charged with one earned run. Though down 7-3, the White Sox didn’t allow a run the rest of the game and blasted Twins starter Carlos Silva. Nobody robbed Thome of a homer in the fourth inning, when he crushed an opposite-field shot. AJ Pierzynski also homered for the White Sox, and Beurhle settled down to pitch for six innings and get the win. The White Sox also turned a rare triple play in the 6th inning, catching a Luis Castillo bunt in the air and tagging 1st and 2nd base. They are now virtually tied with streaking Detroit for the division lead.
