Minnesota Vikings

Meet the NFL’s version of Linus

When you’re 6 foot-6 inches tall, weigh around 270 pounds and play defensive end in the NFL, you’re automatically a tough guy. But that doesn’t mean you can’t have a soft side. For the Vikings’ Jared Allen, his soft side includes a never-leave-home-without-it blankie. Awwwww.

“On one side, it’s brown and red, almost like a plaid layout,” Allen said, squinting into the sun after Saturday morning’s practice. “The other side has blue, with little strings on it, and ‘All-Pro’ written on it in little footballs.

“Grandma made me my first blankie. They wrapped me in it when I was born, and I had it up until I was 14, when it got all torn up.

“I wouldn’t let it go, so my dad’s customer made me a replacement.”

Discovering that Allen sleeps with his blankie — which he also refers to as his “b’ankie” — is like finding out Superman crocheted his own cape, watches “Will & Grace” and unwinds with lilac-scented candles after saving the world. (As Jerry Seinfeld said, “Not that there’s anything wrong with that!”)

“It’s my little slice of home,” Allen said. “What I really like is, even when it’s hot, my blankie stays cool. It’s always the perfect temp. You just cuddle up with it.”

Having a b’ankie might be kinda silly (don’t tell him we said that though), but it’s much better than what most NFL players “cuddle” up with at night; primarily hookers and skanks.


[]: Newest Viking goes nite-nite with his b’ankie

Minnesota Vikings

Randy Moss has officially lost his marbles, again

Just when it appeared Randy Moss had his head screwed on straight for the first time in who knows how many years, he decides to go bonkers once again and start talking about a reunion with Daunte Culpepper?!?!

Apparently, Moss is toying with the idea of heading elsewhere in an attempt to finish some unfinished business with his old QB hurling the pigskin to him. We know Randy is getting frustrated with the Patriots and their decision to let him slide into free agency, but this is lunacy. Perhaps Moss hasn’t seen Culpepper’s horrible stints in Miami and Oakland, but he is nowhere close to being the same quarterback that used to hurl 60-yard bombs for Moss to haul in. Sure, it might sound like a pretty sweet duo in theory, but with the way Culpepper’s career is going, Moss might want to go ahead and head back to Minnesota for a stint with Tavaris Jackson.

Like we said, we know Randy is slightly peeved at the Pats for not locking him up, but c’mon man, it’s the Pats. He has always said that he wants a Super Bowl ring and then he goes perfect through 16 game season, falling just short of his goal and suddenly he’s ready to bolt back to mediocrity?! Losing the biggest game of the year has to be sheer disappointment, but the alternative is going 8-8 (and if Culpepper is worthy of a starting gig then that’s the best possible outcome) and probably throwing a cup of water on a referee or driving down the street with a cop on his hood.


[]: Randy Moss and Daunte Culpepper: Reunited?
[]: Moss connects with Culpepper

Minnesota Vikings

Bryant McKinnie arrested after spitting and hitting

The Minnesota Vikings are at it again. Only this time, the good stuff is going down on dry land instead of on the Love Boat. Vikes tackle Bryant McKinnie went Street Fighter early Sunday morning, brawling outside of a Miami club. McKinnie found himself in the pokey as a result, arrested on counts of aggravated battery, disorderly conduct and resisting arrest without violence. Nice work, Bryant.

Authorities were called to Club Space after a fight broke out. McKinnie had been thrown out by a nightclub security guard and was arguing and spit on Eric Otero, according to a police report.

Otero, 32, said he wouldn’t press charges if McKinnie left. Authorities said the former University of Miami football player then went to a nearby strip club, but later returned to Club Space and fought with Otero again.

Miami Police found McKinnie “in the middle of a large crowd, throwing punches and again yelling obscenities,” according to the police report.

Police told McKinnie to stop. He refused and boarded a bus. The bus driver was ordered not to drive away.

McKinnie, who has been a staple on the Vikings offensive line since being drafted out of Miami in 2002, was arrested and bonded out for $9,000 at 2:25 p.m., Miami-Dade County Corrections Department spokeswoman Janelle Hall said.

It’s pretty impressive when you think about it. McKinnie has criminal charges against him on the ground and on the water, so the only place left for McKinnie to get into trouble is in the sky.


[]: Viking’s tackle arrested after street fight

Minnesota Vikings

All hail the new king of rushing! All hail King AD!

Maurice Jones-Drew was probably feeling pretty darn good about himself after he ran a kickoff back for 100 yards, tying his game at 14 as time expired in the first quarter. Unfortunately, the good feeling was short lived as the Jaguars proceeded to get blasted by the Saints over the final three quarters and lost 41-24.

But we’re guessing that MJD still had a smile on his face as he entered the locker room; after all, it’s not very often that someone goes the length of the field for a score. Of course, it couldn’t have taken too long for word of Antonio Cromartie’s 109-yard return of a missed field goal attempt for San Diego to reach the sophomore. Yup, that’s the longest scoring play in NFL history and one major buzzkill for Jones-Drew.

But don’t fret too much Maurice, your fellow running back made sure that nobody would even care about the return by the time he was finished on the field.

Adrian Peterson has become rookie gold for the Minnesota Vikings with his incredible combination of speed and strength. And now, just eight games into his ‘rookie of the year’ campaign, this kid holds the record for most rushing yards in a single game!

Peterson lived up to his nickname of A.D. or All Day against the Chargers as he scampered for 296 yards (30 carries) and three touchdowns on the ground. He scored like clockwork in first, third and fourth quarters with TD runs of 1, 64 and 46 yards respectively. Peterson now has 1,036 rushing yards which is on pace to surpass Eric Dickerson’s 1983 rookie record of 1,808 yards and possibly his all-time record of 2,105 yards which was set in 1984.

We’re thinking that it’s pretty safe to say the ROY race is all wrapped up. In fact, the Peyton Mannings, Tom Bradys and LaDanian Tomlinsons of the league might want to start looking over their shoulders because there’s a 22-year-old who’s nipping at their heels for league MVP credentials.

A battle of undefeateds, a 100-yard kickoff return, the longest play in league history, TO’s return to Philly; sorry, but none of it compares to the performance of the Vikings young stud.


[]: Yo Adrian! Vikings ride Peterson’s record day
[The Sports Network]: Saints Brees past Jaguars

Minnesota Vikings

July 31 in Sports History: Korey Stringer tragedy

In 2001: All-Pro offensive tackle Korey Stringer collapsed on the field of the Minnesota Vikings training camp at Mankato State University and was taken to the hospital. Stringer suffered from heatstroke in the 90-plus degree heat. The 335-pound Ohio State grad, one of the most popular players on the team, would die of heart and kidney failure early the next morning at the age of 27. Stringer’s death sent shockwaves through the sports world, and it caused the NFL and its teams to closely review their policies on training in excessive heat and humidity. Stringer was survived by his wife Kelci and three year-old son Kodie. His widow unsuccessfully sued the NFL and the Vikings in 2002.

In 1990: Pitcher Nolan Ryan of the Texas Rangers notched career victory no. 300 in an 11-3 win over the Milwaukee Brewers. Ryan became the 20th member of the 300 Club, the first since Don Sutton in 1986. Only Roger Clemens has joined the club since, in 2003. Ryan won a total of 324 games as a member of the Mets, Angels, Astros and Rangers. He also holds the career strikeout mark with 5,714, and he threw a major league record seven no-hitters (including two after his 300th win). Despite the fact that his real first name was Lynn, the “Ryan Express” was one of the toughest pitchers ever, lasting 27 years and pummeling a young Robin Ventura after he charged the mound. He was inducted into the Hall of Fame in 1999.

Minnesota Vikings

The Original Whizzinator-er is heading to the CFL

The CFL has become a halfway house for the NFL’s substance abuse violators. “Come up north! We don’t bother with those little details like drug use!” We’re still awaiting Ricky Williams’ next move but Onterrio Smith is joining the Winnipeg Blue Bombers as a backup RB.

On the Blue Bombers’ web site, there is no mention of Smith’s drug use that lead to his suspension from the NFL. Only noting his career stats and that he was a teammate of the Bombers QB Tee Martin at Tennessee.

My skill is still there. It’s just a case of coming up there and learning the system. I’ve already been checking through the rule book and getting a feel for the (CFL) game. It’s brand new to me. But it’s football, so I’ll be able to adjust on the run. I’ve got no problem with whatever my role is. I’m not looking to come in and step on any toes. Hopefully everything will work out.

Plus, I keep hearing the BC bud they have up here is unbelievable.

OK… we might have made up that last part.

[Winnipeg Sun]: Bombers sign Onterrio Smith
[Winnipeg Blue Bombers]: Onterrio heads north to join Blue

Minnesota Vikings

Love Boat trial part one: Daunte and Moe

Homer Simpson got pulled over by Chief Wiggum for drunk driving once and told him “I wasn’t drinking. I was… out buying porn!” Culpepper is using the same logic folks. I wasn’t involved in any lewd behavior because I was violating gambling laws! Smart.

Culpepper claims he is not guilty of indecent conduct and lewdness because he was playing dice the whole time and turned away dancers that approached him. Moe Williams claims that he did not touch a dancer’s breast as a crew member claimed. His lawyer contended that the woman’s breast was covered so even if he did, it wouldn’t be lewd behavior. As any teenage knows, if you don’t get under the shirt, it doesn’t really count as second base.

I like that the prosecutors are giving us this appetizer before the main course. Lap dancing? Touching a breast? That’s just the set up for the trials of Fred Smoot (charged with using a sex toy on a stripper) and Brian McKinnie (charged with and performing and receiving oral sex.) Good work boys.

Related Links:
[Pioneer Press]: Dance, dice … discrimination?

Minnesota Vikings

You can BuyDaunteCulpepperNow for $8M

Looks like Daunte has also alienated the fan base as he forces his way out of town. I think he’s been taking lessons from TO on this tactic. A ebay auction has the starting bid for Daunte at $1M with a buy it now price of $8M.

Appropriately, there are currently no bids for Daunte’s services, though he is described as having “outstanding leadership qualities. He leads morale and team building tours of Boats on Lake Minnetonka.”

There are already 94 Questions & Answers in the auction. Here are a couple of my favorites.

Q: Would you consider a trade for Stephon Marbury? -Isaih Thomas

A: How big are Marbury’s hands. Can he hold on to the football?

Q: Does the uncanny ability to fumble on critical plays come with this Dante or is that sold separately?

A: Sorry it comes with him.. But I am including Stick um in the selling price

You know ebay is going to shut down this auction any second now so here’s a snapshot of the auction page.

[]: Buyer beware: Daunte for sale

Minnesota Vikings

Culpepper pissed off about email, demands trade

Culpepper got an email from the Minnesota Vikings on Monday and decided he’d had enough. He told the Vikings to either trade him or release him.

Daunte won’t say what was in the email but we imagine it’s one of two things. Either Zygi Wilf forwarded him the ghetto prom email he got from the Warriors PR guy or they said something along the lines of “hell no we are not paying you more money for sucking last year with Randy Moss”.

In Daunte’s defense, he was assured that he would not get traded so it’s understandable that he was upset when he found out he was being shopped around. Still, Daunte has to be some kind of moron to ask for a contract renegotiation after having a terrible injury filled year.

I think Daunte is perhaps the second most overrated QB in the league (behind Vick) but do the Vikings really think they can contend next year with Brad Johnson for 16 games?

[]: Culpepper to Vikings: Trade me or cut me
[]: Statement from Daunte Culpepper

Minnesota Vikings

Culpepper wants a raise, Culpepper doesn’t want a raise, Culpepper traded?

Here’s a lesson TO should have learned: when in doubt, blame your agent. Yesterday, Culpepper’s agent, Mason Ashe, said that he is ready to begin negotiations “so Daunte can assume the position on the NFL pay scale that he so deserves”. Let’s see, your client is a QB that proved he is below average at best without one of the most talented receivers in the game, he tends to fumble, has lead his team to only 2 playoff appearances, and got routed by the Giants in the biggest game of his career. I’m pretty sure that the pay scale “he deserves” is somewhere in Jon Kitna territory.

Today, Ashe backpedaled and said that he was not authorized to comment on negotiations or seek more money from the team. Well, perhaps he doesn’t need to as it was reported that the Vikings might trade Culepper. Among the potential teams are Baltimore, Oakland, Miami, and Arizona.

[]: Agent says Culpepper didn’t OK comments
[]: Vikings may trade Culpepper