Author: clay

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New England Patriots

Bill Belichick does his best Santa Scrooge impression


The Patriots are on the verge of immortality. With a win over the Giants on Saturday night, they can brush aside those annoying, geriatric Dolphins from yesteryear, becoming the only team to go a perfect 16-0 in the regular season. Sounds like a pretty good Christmas gift to us. Bill Belichick, on the other hand, is still gonna be a “bah humbug” until that Super Bowl trophy is in his hands again. So, leave it to Sports Illustrated to have a little fun with the NFL’s grumpiest guru, digitally putting Belichick into a Santa suit for the cover of the year-end special of SI.

We gotta give it to the guys at SI, other than seeing a bikini clad babe sprawled across the magazine’s face, this was the year’s best cover. Heck, even Belichick seemed to enjoy it.

Being associated with Santa Claus, there’s a lot worse associations to have,” he said yesterday. “I’ll take it. When you’re a kid, sometimes you dream about being on the cover of Sports Illustrated. That’s not actually the one I pictured, but it’s pretty funny. Whatever sells.

“…not actually the one I pictured”??? You didn’t want to grace the swimsuit edition cover, did you?

Links:

[TheStar.com]: `Santa’ Belichick latest coverboy

Categories
College Football

Ball boy blunder at bowl game befuddles billions

After watching the wildest college football season in history unfold over the previous months, nobody wanted the wackiness to end with the regular season. Well, one person might be wishing for a more mundane postseason contest.

Mack Brown’s stepson got really, really lucky on that one because if Arizona State rallied back to beat the Horns, Chris Jessee might be tarred and feathered on Sixth Street in downtown Austin minutes after the team charter lands. Luckily for Brown, Jessee and the Longhorn faithful, all ended well in Pacific Life Holiday Bowl for Texas and the tar and feathers will be packed away for now, patiently waiting for the next loss to Oklahoma or Texas A&M. At least we all learned something from this unbelievable brain fart: Kirk Herbstreit has eyes like a hawk!

Categories
Atlanta Hawks

Around the Rim: Birds of a different feather


1. The Hawks are flying high
Portland is currently running away with the “Overachievers of the Year” award, but the Hawks are quietly still in the race. Joe Johnson poured in 26 points and handed out 11 assists to give Atlanta a 107-95 home victory over Indiana, but, perhaps even more importantly, it gave the Hawks their first five-game winning streak since 1999. Atlanta is now 15-12 on the year, good for the Eastern Conference’s fourth best record, giving the Hawks a legitimate chance of making the playoffs for the first time since 1998-99. In addition to Johnson’s offensive firepower, Josh Smith is having an awesome year, averaging 17.3 points, 8.1 rebounds, 3.5 assists, 1.92 steals and 3.12 blocks per game. The Hawks can now sit back and somewhat enjoy the fruits of their labor; they don’t play again until Saturday when they travel to Dallas and after that, Atlanta is off until next Wednesday when they head to Cleveland for a contest against King James and the Cavs.

2. Boston looks mean in green

The Celtics headed West for the first time this year on Wednesday when they traveled to Sacramento for a contest against a struggling Kings team. The result for Boston was the same on the west coast as it was on the east coast, an easy victory. The Cs cruised to an 89-69 win behind 47 points from the big three and 13 from the trio’s sidekick Rajon Rondo. Boston is now 23-3, marking the fourth time in franchise history that the Celtics have started with a 23-3 record. Two of the previous three times it was done Boston went on to win the NBA title (1963-64 and 1961-62). After playing in only their 11th road game of the year, the Celtics continue their road test when they head to Seattle tonight, followed by back-to-back road games against the Jazz and Lakers on Saturday and Sunday.

3. Jazz build a lead, blow a lead and get a win
Utah managed to take a 16-0 lead against Dallas on Wednesday and then gave it all right back as they went into halftime up just a single point. Luckily, the Jazz finished like they started, outscoring the Mavs 52-44 in the second half and held on for a 99-90 victory at home. Dirk Nowitzki kept his squad in the game down the stretch, but Carlos Boozer came up big for the Jazz in the closing minutes, scoring six of the team’s final seven points, giving him 21 for the night. Deron Williams finished with 17 points and 12 assists to match Andrei Kirilenko’s offensive output. With the loss, Dallas falls to 6-8 on the road while Utah improves to 10-2 at home. The Jazz desperately needed the win after losing nine of their previous 11 games and falling behind Portland in the Northwest Division standings.

Wednesday’s Player of the Day: Chris Paul @ Memphis 36 min, 40 pts (FG: 17-25, 3FG: 5-8, FT: 1-1), 5 reb, 9 ast, 5 stl

Thursday’s Game to Watch: Cleveland (13-16) @ Dallas (19-10)
Dallas still hasn’t regained the form that earned them their top seed in the playoffs last season; at least not on the road. But inside the friendly confines of the American Airlines Center in Dallas, it’s a whole other story. The Mavs are 13-2 at home despite Dirk Nowitzki’s sub par performances of late. On the other side of the court, there is nothing sub par about LeBron James this year. James is averaging a league-best 29.3 points to go along with 7.2 rebounds and 7.7 assist per contest, but the King’s court has been extremely inconsistent. For the past six games Cleveland has alternated wins and losses, their most recent contest being a 96-82 Christmas day beating of the Heat. The up and down trend could continue tonight as Cleveland is a pathetic 5-10 away from home.

Buzzer Beater: Jason Kidd tallied 13 assists in a loss to Detroit on Wednesday, moving him into sixth place on the all-time list with 8,972 career dimes. Kidd passed the Glove who now sits at seventh with 8,966. 14 years into his career, the passing machine should be pretty close to the NBA’s greatest assist men in history, right? Wrong. Kidd is still 6,834 assists short of reaching John Stockton’s mark of 15,806. With a career-average of 9.2 assists per game, it will take Kidd about 743 more games to set a new milestone. In other words, Kidd needs another nine seasons at that pace to accomplish what Stockton did in his 19 years with Utah.

Categories
General Sports

When little red wagons attack!

Remember when you were a kid and you’d wreck on your bike trying to do a trick? Sure, it was embarrassing and painful, but at least you weren’t on television for the whole world to see like this dufus from the Discovery Channel.

If you ask us, that was just his own personal tribute to the late, great Evel Knievel.

Categories
Olympics

Ballroom dancing continues its attempt at world domination


We used to think that skateboarding was just about the dumbest “sport” in the world to get Olympic consideration, but then we saw that the International Olympic Committee was looking at ballroom dancing for their next big attraction. In fact, the IOC was responsible for getting the ball rolling on the whole idea by declaring ballroom dancing as Dance-Sport. Now, with the whole Dancing With the Stars sensation that is sweeping the nation, it’s starting to look like ballroom dancing Dance-Sport is well on its way to boring the Olympics’ entire male contingency within the next decade.

Anybody who has done it knows it’s a sport because it’s hard,” said James Fraser, International Dance Sport Federation Presidium member. The point of the name change, he said, was “to direct the whole consciousness of what we’re doing to a sport rather than an art.”

There’s no doubt it can be physically taxing. The muscle exertion and breathing rates of competitors in a two-minute ballroom dance were equal to those of cyclists, swimmers and an Olympic 800-meter runner during the same time, according to a 1986 study at the University of Freiburg, Germany.

In 2002 DanceSport submitted a request to be considered for admission to the Olympics. The IOC considers several factors in adding a sport, including the sport’s history and tradition, popularity and cost. DanceSport will not be included in the 2012 Olympic Games but could be added in 2016.

In its report last summer on future Olympic Games, the IOC asked DanceSport to increase its spectatorship and television viewership, both of which the dancing community has been doing steadily.

About the only positive to come from this whole ordeal is that we feel certain there’s a Dance-Sport spoof in the near future starring Will Ferrell.

Links:

[KansasCity.com]: Could ballroom dancing be next Olympic sport?

Categories
Dallas Cowboys

Wade Phillips’ daughter must take after her mother


There were some serious questions surrounding Wade Phillips when he was named the head coach of the Dallas Cowboys, but after earning a 13-2 record and a division championship in his first campaign, it appears that Wade has the right stuff for the job. Now the only question left for Phillips is if he can produce victories in the postseason. Well, that and how the heck does a goofy-looking, overweight ball coach produce a hottie daughter like Tracy Phillips? We’ll probably never know the genetic mutations that took place for that to happen, but we did find out on Wednesday just how Wade spent his Christmas holiday.

Phillips yesterday proudly brought up, several times, to reporters how much he enjoyed the new movie, “Charlie Wilson’s War.”

His daughter, Tracy, plays a belly dancer in the film.

Phillips mentioned he thought some “other people were in it,” too.

He intentionally omitted Academy Award winners Tom Hanks, Julia Roberts and Philip Seymour Hoffman.

No wonder Phillips has done such a good job of handling Terrell Owens; he’s used to dealing with divas.

Links:

[KCBD.com]: Phillips notes daughter in “Charlie Wilson’s War”

Categories
Denver Nuggets

Around the Rim: Denver’s unlikely hero


1. Anthony hits the game winner, Carter not Carmelo
The Rockets and Nuggets played late into the night on Thursday, but the double-overtime thriller ended when Anthony Carter hit the last of his three buckets to give Denver a 112-111 home victory. Carter only scored six points in the contest, but he dished out eight assists, helping Allen Iverson get his 36 points and Carmelo Anthony to a game-high 37. The Rockets were playing without Tracy McGrady, but still looked good in the loss as Yao Ming finished with 26 points and 19 rebounds. But the NBA isn’t about looking good, it’s about wins and losses and, right now, the Rockets have lost three in a row and five of their last six, falling two games under .500. Denver, on the other hand is sitting atop the Northwest Division with Portland and Utah nipping at their heels.

2. Dwyane Wade still believes in Santa too

Dwyane Wade has been on fire for the Heat lately, but it just doesn’t matter in Miami. Wade followed up his 37-point effort on Wednesday with a 41-point explosion on Thursday against the Nets, but the outcomes were identical – a pair of overtime losses. Vince Carter poured in 31 points for Jersey while teammate Richard Jefferson scored 29 in the 107-103 extra innings win. With the loss, Miami falls to 7-19 on the year, the worst record in the East and second worst in the entire Association. But have no fear; D-Wade isn’t giving up all hope for the Heat just yet.

You’ve got to keep believing,” Wade said. “You’ve got to keep playing until you can’t play any more. I hope everyone continues to believe. I know I do.

We’ll cut you some slack because of the holidays, but once the new year rolls around you might as well throw that Christmas miracle mentality right out the window because you guys are cooked.

3. LeBron vs. Kobe
In the battle of the league’s top point producers, LeBron James used his homecourt advantage to squeak out a 94-90 win over Kobe Bryant and his Lakers. James finished the game 33 points, 10 rebounds and five assists while Bryant had 21 points on an eight-of-22 shooting performance. The Cavaliers trailed by five points entering the final period, but opened the quarter with a 13-4 run en route to holding the Lakers to just 12 points in 12 minutes. Cleveland is 3-3 since James returned from an injury that kept him sidelined for five games, all losses, but the King seems to be 110 percent again, scoring 30 points in three consecutive games.

Thursday’s Player of the Day: Carmelo Anthony vs. Houston 51 min, 37 pts (FG: 13-32, FT: 11-17), 16 reb, 2 ast, 3 stl, 2 blk

Friday’s Game to Watch: Denver (15-10) @ Portland (14-12)
No team is hotter than the Portland Trailblazers and no player is hotter than Brandon Roy. The Western Conference player of the week for the second consecutive week has his team on a nine-game winning streak, bringing the Blazers to within 1 ½ games of the Northwest Division’s leader Denver. In addition to Roy’s spectacular play of late, LaMarcus Aldridge returned to the Blazers lineup against Toronto after missing five games with a foot injury. Denver will look to avenge a 116-105 home loss to Portland on the 16th by returning the favor in the Rose Garden where the Blazers are 11-4 on the year. The Iverson/Anthony duo is coming off one of their best games together, combining for 73 points against the Rockets.

Buzzer Beater: Jerry Sloan took it upon himself to eject Gordan Giricek from a game on Wednesday night after the two got into a spat on the sidelines. So was that the last we’ll see of Giricek in a Jazz uniform?

No. I don’t know,” Giricek said after being asked if he wants out of Utah — and before he was informed he would not be permitted to travel with the team to play the Orlando Magic on Friday.

“My agent (Marc Fleisher),” Giricek added, “is going to talk to Kevin (O’Connor, the Jazz’s general manager). … It’s actually gonna be taken care of, right? Everything can be fixed, right? So, we’ll see.

Probably should have asked coach Sloan that question.

Categories
Memphis Grizzlies

Yes, those were areolas you just saw on the Jumbotron

We always thought Jumbotrons were being underused in arenas and stadiums across the country. Well, we were right and earlier this week at a Memphis Grizzlies game, Stephanie Simpson proved that the million-dollar, giant televisions weren’t just meant to show highlights and dot races.

Wait, arrested! For flashing! Geez, seems a bit harsh considering how many times the Grizzlies have been exposed on the court this year. Teams are robbing Memphis of its dignity every night. Trust us, there is no way a pair of cans could be more traumatic than sitting through 48 minutes of horrible basketball. Unless Rudy Gay is dropping a game-winner on Tim Duncan then we say all eyes in the FedEx Forum should be fixed on the big screen in hopes of catching another glimpse of the “Flash Cam”.

Links:

[Awful Announcing]: You’re Not Going To Believe This One, A Woman Was Arrested At Grizzlies Game For Flashing The Jumbotron

Categories
Denver Broncos

So that’s what kickers do while real football players are practicing


Ever wonder why Jason Elam is always able to calmly bang out 50-yarders for Denver without breaking a sweat? Well, graduating from the Air Force Academy, serving a tour of duty in Afghanistan and then joining a special operations squad has a way of calming your nerves in everyday situations. At least it did for Riley Covington, the main character of Elam’s new literary fiction novel Monday Night Jihad.

Covington is a military man who was drafted by the fictitious Colorado Mustangs, but must give up his professional football career in order to help put an end to terrorism overseas before it reaches America. Elam’s first attempt at becoming an author entwines pigskin, religion and covert military operations.

Probably the toughest part of the book for Elam was his eventual decision to not make the strapping, Captain America badass a kicker; instead opting to form Covington into a manlier linebacker.

I couldn’t make the hero a kicker. It had to be plausible,” Elam said.

As for what is more daunting, a last-second kick in front of a raucous crowd or reading a book review, Elam said that was simple — the kick.

“At least you know you’re not going to have chicken wings and snowballs thrown at you if they don’t like your book,” he said with a grin.

Links:

[CBS4Denver.com]: Novel Idea: Elam Mixes Football, Terrorism, Spying

Categories
Detroit Pistons

Around the Rim: Now who’s the best in the East?


1. Pistons pack pop for trip to Boston
The Celtics took their first real test of the season on Wednesday, falling a few points shy of a passing grade and a win. The Pistons escaped Boston with a two-point victory, 87-85, thanks to a pair of last-second Chauncey Billups free throws. Mr. Big Shot finished with game-highs of 28 points and eight assists as Detroit’s starting five scored all but 14 of the team’s points. Still, that’s nine more points than Boston got from their bench that shot two-for-nine in a combined 52 minutes of work. Kevin Garnett (26 pts, 12 reb) and Ray Allen (24 pts) took care of business, but the third piece of the triforce, Paul Pierce, shot a pathetic five-of-16 for 11 points. Boston proved they aren’t where they need to be yet and despite their 20-3 overall record, the Bad Boys are still the elite out East.

2. Too little, too late

Things didn’t look good for the Suns after the first quarter of their game against Dallas. With 12 minutes in the books, Phoenix was staring up from a 17-point hole. By the middle of the fourth quarter it wasn’t much better as the Mavericks held a 14-point advantage, but that’s when the Suns turned on the burners, using a 23-12 run over the final 6:56 to get within one Steve Nash 3-point air-ball from forcing overtime. Dirk Nowitzki led all scorers with 31 in the 108-105 shootout, giving the Mavericks their fourth consecutive win. The Suns still hold a half-game advantage over Dallas in the standings and Nash further padded his assists per game lead by handing out 18 dimes to go with his 21 points.

3. End of an era
Miami lost again on Wednesday, this time to Atlanta, but that’s nothing new. The real story of the game was the torn patellar tendon in Alonzo Mourning’s right knee; an injury that will most likely end the career of the 15-year vet. Mourning is a seven-time All-Star, a two-time defensive player of the year and ranks 10th all-time in career blocks. You never want to see a career end on an injury and you really never want to see a career end on a stretcher, which was the original means of transportation to get the big fella and his bum wheel off the court following the injury. But like the rest of his life, Zo was going to do things his way.

That’s not the way I envisioned myself walking off the court for the last time in my career,” he said. “I’ve been through so much in my life. If I had to crawl off the court I would have. Nobody was going to push me off on a stretcher off the court. That wasn’t going to happen.

Wednesday’s Player of the Day: Steve Nash @ Dallas 37 min, 21 pts (FG: 9-15, 3FG: 2-3, FT: 1-2), 3 reb, 18 ast, 1 stl

Thursday’s Game to Watch: Los Angeles Lakers (15-9) @ Cleveland (11-15)
We could sit here and cram records down your throats or talk about bench depth, but we all know why this game gets top billing for the night, it’s LeBron James and Kobe Bryant. The two are sitting at No. 1 and No. 2 in the league in scoring with LBJ scoring 29.6 a night and the Mamba dumping in 26.8 per contest. And for a little more parody, both are also leading their crews in assists and steals. We know that these teams have a ton of work to do if they want to sniff the NBA Finals this year, but, in late December, we don’t really care about teamwork. Until summer rolls around, we’ll take a showdown between a pair of one-man-bands any day of the week.

Buzzer Beater: Even a little blurry, this is one of the sickest moves you’ll ever see by someone not named Skip To My Lou.