Author: clay

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NBA General

Santa Shaq can stay, but Kobe isn’t welcome at Christmas this year


If you’re already getting burnt out on all the Tim Donaghy chatter that has dominated the NBA landscape for the past few days, here’s something that might distract you from the incessant coverage. It seems that the NBA and ABC have finally given up on the holiday bad blood between Kobe Bryant and Shaquille O’Neal and for the first time in a long time it appears that the fans won’t be settling into a Lakers/Heat game on Christmas afternoon. Instead, the scheduling gurus have decided to focus on the on-court feud of the future between LeBron “Baby Dunker” James and O’Neal’s sidekick, Dwyane Wade. Of course, this could have a little something to do with the fact that Bryant is pushing to get outta Los Angeles too.

Now, the schedule isn’t final and this is all speculation at the moment, but we’re really hoping that this is true. We were getting sick of all the hype that went along with the LA/Miami game and the James/Wade battle has a lot more sizzle to it anyway, considering that both are able to compete at extremely high levels still. Sorry Shaq, we’re not saying that you’re washed up just yet, but if you’re going to be the main billing in a X-Mas day contest, you should at least be in better shape than the obese kids you’re profiting off of.

Links:

[MiamiHerald.com]: Stockings void of Shaq-Kobe

Categories
All Other Sports

For the future track and field stars of America: javelins are sharp


July 7, 2007 will probably be remembered for the lavish, Hollywood wedding of Desperate Housewives actress Eva Longoria and San Antonio point guard Tony Parker, but while big time celebrities were getting drunk and dancing in France, Kyler Osborne was being impaled on a javelin.

The 14-year-old Osborne was practicing his favorite event for the Junior Olympics when, in a moment of frustration, he threw the javelin to the ground in front of him on an approach and simply ran himself right through the back, equally sharp, end of the spear.

My steps were off and I was frustrated, so I threw it in the ground in front of me and my momentum kind of carried me into it. It happened so fast,” said Kyler. “I came back off of it and I lifted up my shirt and saw there was a pretty good-size hole.

Kyler’s father rushed him to the hospital and to their surprise, instead of finding a relatively minor puncture wound, the doctor discovered that the javelin went through his entire body and put a small hole in his liver and nicked a lung but miraculously avoided his heart, gallbladder and at least three major arteries.

It was 07/07/07, so it was really my lucky and unlucky day, all at once,” said Kyler.

We’re thrilled that Kyler escaped serious injury and is expected to make a full recovery because now we get to say that we tried to warn him.

Links:

[KING5.com]: Close call with a javelin

Categories
Pittsburgh Steelers

Ben Roethlisberger’s fame finally gets him some quality tail


Apparently Ben Roethlisberger has more than thoughts of receiver routes and proper throwing mechanics running through his head as Steelers training camp opens up. It seems that Big Ben has gotten himself a lady friend and they’ve recently been seen taking in a Pirates game together. Missy Peregrym was on Heroes and while we don’t know jack about the show, we know that we like what we see.

Frankly, we’re not big fans of Big Ben, but the guy has gone through so much crap over the past year or so that we’re kinda happy to see him getting a little pleasure out of life. Anyways, it’s kind of refreshing to hear about an NFL player’s love life that’s not named Tony Romo.

More photos of Missy Peregrym after the jump

Links:

[WPXI.com]: Pictures Of Big Ben, New Girlfriend Hit Web Sites

Continue reading “Ben Roethlisberger’s fame finally gets him some quality tail”

Categories
Soccer

Nobody will get mad about shoes made from kangaroo, right?


David Beckham just got to America and he’s already causing trouble. Apparently the California Supreme Court has banned the sale of soccer cleats that Beckham made popular because they are made from kangaroo leather.

The kangaroo hide seems to make a pretty sweet shoe, but, for some reason, people are all worked up over the humane treatment of animals right now and a group of activists sued Adidas over the products. Guess the fact that endangered kangaroos are being killed for their skin isn’t sitting too well with ’em. Oh, and shooting them during night hunting parties and clubbing baby joeys to death isn’t helping either.

We sued because of the horrific way kangaroos are killed,” said Lauren Ornelas of Viva International Voice for Animals, which filed the lawsuit. “We sued because of the way Adidas is snubbing their noses at California’s law.

But before everyone gets hot and bothered and starts calling Beckham soccer’s version of Michael Vick, just know that his Predator cleats are made with synthetic leather. So, at least we know that Beckham is consistent; he likes his wife and his shoes to be artificial.

Links:

[DeseretNews.com]: Beckham’s `Roo shoes create controversy

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All Other Sports

More proof that tight jeans cut off the blood flow to cowboys’ brains

Rodeos have never made much sense to us. Neither have bull fights. So, needless to say, we’re completely perplexed as to why people would stand in the middle of an arena and play chicken with a pissed off bull. Now, we don’t condone violence, but these guys are so stupid that there’s no way we would feel bad if they took a horn gore right in the ass.

Unfortunately, all we got was a little rag-dolling, but it’s not from a lack of wishful thinking. Hmmm, perhaps this could be a suitable punishment for Michael Vick if when he’s found guilty. Seems like a reasonable trade off; he murders dogs by slamming their bodies to the ground, now we’ll see what happens when 1,000 lbs. of snorting beef starts tossing him around.

Categories
San Francisco Giants

Playboy makes life it a little more crappy for Barry Bonds


Talk about bittersweet; Barry Bonds is on the verge of breaking the all-time home run record and not only does he have to deal with steroid induced legitimacy issues and the impending boos that will rain down should he break the record on the road, but now he has to deal with a naked, big mouthed mistress.

Kimberly Bell’s nude spread and interview regarding the two’s relationship during 2005 when a grand jury began investigating perjury allegations will appear in Playboy next month.

The opportunity was there, and I took it,” she told The Associated Press in a phone interview Monday. The photo shoot “was one of the most liberating experiences of my life.

In addition to being “liberating,” Bell’s shoot with Playboy has got to be pretty darn financially rewarding as well. Although, Bell declined to reveal the number of zeros it took to get her naked. And we’re hoping that when the magazine hits the shelves on October 1, it will be pretty darn entertaining too, with stuff like:

He was very envious of Mark McGwire,” she said from her San Jose home. “He never said that was the reason, but I know it was.

And:

If I had more self-esteem when I was younger,” she said, “I wouldn’t have been caught up with such a rotten man.

Keep it up Kim; now say something about his abnormally large head! Please!!

Links:

[Newsday.com]: Bonds’ gal pal in Playboy

Categories
All Other Sports

The ugly, smelly side of the Tour de France


You probably didn’t know this about the Tour de France, in the opening 12 stages, at least ten riders have been cited for breaking the cycling code. No, we’re not talking about human growth hormones or steroids or anything that gets injected into a cyclist’s body. Articles 12 and 29 of the conduct code book have to do with the call of nature and those ten riders have been fined approximately $87 apiece because they “satisfied nature’s need in front of the public.”

Apparently, if you’ve gotta stop and go in cycling, you’re suppose to be hidden from the public’s view. But the problem with that, according to one rider who was fined, is in the Tour de France there are no open stretches of road where a rider can be secluded.

So, not only are these guys suppose to sit on tiny, unforgiving, testicle smashing seats for miles and miles on end, but they’re suppose to deny their bodily functions for the multiple hour rides too?!?! We know these guys are machines on the course, but c’mon!

We say that if they won’t let you pee in peace then you gotta do what you gotta do.

Some brave souls also go while they’re still riding. That manoeuvre (sic) is performed by hiking up one leg of the bike shorts and pivoting the hips sideways to allow for relief. Sometimes a rider’s teammate will help steady the handlebars, making sure to be upwind.

Links:

[TheStar]: When a guy’s gotta go, a guy’s gotta go

Categories
MLB General

Dice-K isn’t the only one with some wicked pitches

Lots of people say that baseball is boring and slow, but what they don’t understand is the level of knowledge that players and managers have when it comes to the game. There is so much strategery going on behind the scenes that people just don’t know about. One method that players in Japan have included in their arsenal is the element of surprise. And, boy, have they mastered that one.

While this guy is pretty damn innovative with the ball, we’re guessing that Pete Maravich would have tossed that pitch long ago if he had never picked up a basketball.

Links:

[Awful Announcing]: Satchel Paige Called – He Wants His Pitch Back

Categories
General Sports

Sports can be graceful, but we prefer the zany ridiculousness

Sports are the ultimate in unpredictability; about the only thing that is predictable about sports is that if you watch long enough, anything can happen. And it usually does. Whether it’s soccer, gymnastics, automobile racing, basketball, skateboarding, figure skating, skiing, karate, cricket or table tennis, you just never know what you’re gonna get.

Categories
MLB General

Minor league first base coach is killed by line drive


In a freak accident, the first base coach of the minor league Tulsa Drillers was killed on Sunday night after a line drive struck him in the head. The horrible mishap occurred in the ninth inning when Tino Sanchez hit a foul ball that went straight for coach Mike Coolbaugh as he stood by first base. Coolbaugh immediately fell to the ground after being hit in either the right side of his head or in the forehead. CPR was administered to Coolbaugh on the field and while he was alive inside of the ambulance, he died as the vehicle reached the hospital.

As horrific as this accident is, we’re surprised that this doesn’t happen more often. How many times have we seen pitchers get clobbered on a come back, only to eventually shake it off with minor injuries? It’s the single scariest, most sickening moment in sports to see a player get struck by a baseball. Unfortunately, there’s really nothing that can be done when dealing with split second reaction times. Although the incidents are unavoidable over time, all we can do is hope that something like this never happens again.

It’s a tragedy for all of baseball,” Drillers president Chuck Lamson told the Tulsa World in a story posted on the newspaper’s Web site early Monday. “He just joined the staff and was a former Driller player. Our thoughts and prayers go out to his family.

Links:

[WISHTV.com]: Line Drive Kills Minor League Coach
[TulsaDrillers.com]: Tulsa Drillers Home