Author: clay

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Boston Celtics

Kevin Garnett finally finds his pot of gold in Boston


After 12 years in Minnesota, Kevin Garnett finally became the last person on the face of the planet to realize that the Timberwolves aren’t going anywhere, anytime soon in a deep, deep Western Conference. And instead of being a conference AND division cellar dweller once again, it appears that KG will finally have his time to shine in the postseason as he teams up with a pair of superstars in Boston. The move sends The Big Ticket to the Celtics for Al Jefferson, Gerald Green, Theo Ratliff, Ryan Gomes, Sebastian Telfair (good luck with that one) and two future 1st-round picks.

Sure, it might sound like a lot, but we’re talking about Kevin Garnett here. Considering that he’s easily one of the greatest players to ever lace up a pair of sneakers, we’re going to say it’s a steal and break away slam dunk for the leprechauns. And talk about breathing new life into the dead! Not only is Garnett getting resurrected for a second shot at NBA immortality and hopefully a couple of playoff wins, but the Celtics are looking at making one of the greatest turn-arounds in league history.

After enduring a stomach turning season that consisted of some comical losing streaks, followed up by David Stern’s punch to the gut at the NBA Draft, the Celtics can finally grin from ear to ear as they have since acquired the sweet shooting touch of Ray Allen and the unquantifiable talents of KG. Throw in a healthy dose of a healthy Paul Pierce and you’ve got a big batch of conference contenders brewing in Beantown. The only problem imaginable is that there might not be enough ball to go around for all those All-Stars. But, then again, considering that none of the big three have been to the NBA Finals, we’re guessing they’ll be more than willing to share for the common cause. And for the faithful fans of the men in green, it’s been a really, really, really long time since they could actually consider too much talent to be a problem, so we doubt we hear any complaints from them either.

Links:

[SI.com]: Ticketed for Boston

Categories
All Other Sports

Apparently, Greg Louganis isn’t the only one to misjudge a dive

So, we were actually watching FSN last night and what’s more embarrassing is that we were watching The Best Damn Sports Show. But, we have a good excuse; see, they ran one of their Top 50 countdowns and it took a look back at the most devastating hits in sports history. As always, they managed to bring us a painful, painful clip that we had never seen before. So, unfortunately, we have to give them some credit, gosh darnit. Here’s the second most devastating hit in sports history:

And in case you were wondering, here’s a look at their No. 1.

Categories
All Other Sports

The Simpsons are a bunch of athletic supporters

One of the best things about Springfield, ??, is that it really is a little slice of Americana presented on a platter every week. So, like any good TV show, The Simpsons shows the highs and lows of modern culture and in the good ol’ U.S. of A., nothing is celebrated quite like the world of sports. So, here’s a list of Top 10 Simpsons Sports Moments according to Barstool Sports. Personally, we can’t get enough of people taking shots to the crotch, so, obviously, we thought that No. 8 should have been much higher on the list.

Links:

[Our Book of Scrap]: The Simpsons Are Good At Sports
[Barstool Sports]: The Top 10 Simpsons Sports Moments

Categories
All Other Sports

Barry Bonds and Bob Costas have a war of words


Barry Bonds is one of the biggest smartasses on the face of the earth, so it wasn’t all that surprising to hear him say he thought someone else could be using the juice. However, what was surprising is that he was questioning the integrity of Bob Costas!

These two are now going back and forth, taking shots at each other through various media outlets after Bonds called Costas a “little midget man who knows (nothing) about baseball.” Good one, Barry. But then the midget man delivered some heat of his own to the soon-to-be homerun king.

As anyone can plainly see, I’m 5-6 1/2 and a strapping 150, and unlike some people, I came by all of it naturally,” Costas said Thursday in a telephone interview.

Ohhh, burn! Now this is where it becomes ridiculously apparent that Bonds is either the most sarcastic man on the planet or that the syringes full of steroids actually have affected his head in more ways than simply making it multiply in dimensions.

Told before Thursday’s series finale that Costas claimed he came by his physique naturally, Bonds responded, “How do you know?” before going on to say he didn’t care.

Ummm, Barry, it’s pretty damn obvious. After all, this is a guy who spent all of last season standing on a box so that Cris freakin’ Collinsworth didn’t make him look like a child.

Links:

[AZCentral.com]: Costas zings Bonds over `midget’ comment

Categories
All Other Sports

This is what you missed while sleeping during the game

We know that when you plunk down good money for a ticket to a ballgame, you should be able to do whatever you want, within reason of course, while in your seat. You can cheer, you can boo, heck, you can even fall asleep if you so choose. But, if you decide to do the latter, be prepared to become the laughingstock of the stadium.

Categories
General Sports

Greg Biffle hates dog killers, this means you Michael


Michael Vick is scheduled to appear in court on Thursday afternoon where he will enter a plea on the dogfighting charges against him. While most people are in total agreement that Vick is a lowlife and he should never play in the NFL again, the majority of athletes are keeping their mouths shut about the whole case. Well, except for Clinton Portis and we all know how swimmingly that went.

But the waiting for a sports figure to stand up and speak their mind is no more because NASCAR driver Greg Biffle has stepped up to the plate. Biffle is an animal rights advocate and he had no problem with forgetting the whole notion of “innocent until proven guilty in a court of law.” And we don’t blame him.

I just wish they’d put him in jail and be done with it.”

“Just put him in prison and tell the general public, just give them all the details of what they do with those dogs,” Biffle said. “How they steal people’s dogs out of their front yards and use them for bait dogs and let other dogs kill them. There’s all the horrifying stories. You look at all the pictures on the Internet of the dogs, just maimed, mangled. It’s horrible.

While Biffle wants the judge to throw the book at Vick for his dog murdering ways, he also admitted that the Falcons QB is not the only one involved with the illegal blood sport.

It goes on everywhere. He’s not the only guy. It goes on in this state too,” Biffle said. “Maybe they’ll use him as an example and maybe get some other people to think about whether they want to be in federal prison with him or not.

However, we would like to add that if they really want to make an example out of Vick, somewhere during sentencing there must be mention of a ferret and Vick’s groin.

Links:

[FoxSports.com]: Biffle says of Vick: `I just with they’d put him in jail.’

Categories
NBA General

In the midst of a crisis, David Letterman makes us laugh at the NBA


The NBA is taking some serious heat over the allegations that one of their refs was involved in fixing games and it didn’t take David Letterman long to start kicking David Stern and Tim Donaghy while they’re down. On Tuesday night, Dave bashed the fellas with this little nugget of comedic gold.

Top 10 Signs A Referee Is Fixing Games

10. He leads the league in blocked shots.

9. When talking about the Spurs, he says “we.”

8. After 6 seconds, calls a 24-second violation.

7. He’s drawing up plays.

6. Before tip-off, scoreboard reads 58 to nothing.

5. Teams have scored a record number of 2-pointers, 3-pointers and 8-pointers.

4. Tossed one of the other officials out of the game.

3. Has Eddie Brill’s telephone number on speed dial.

2. Miami Heat hasn’t lost a game since Shaq promised to help the referee’s fat son.

1. The Knicks are winning.

Links:

[Charlotte.com]: Letterman’s take on referee scandal

Categories
All Other Sports

Finally, someone didn’t let "the one that got away" get away


We not real big fans of fishin’ as a sport; after all, if that’s a sport then every 12-year-old kid sitting on his bed sucking down Dr. Peppers and playing his X-Box is an athlete. But we do enjoy getting out on the boat with rod in hand and partaking in a few adult beverages as a recreational activity. So, we were pretty impressed when we saw that a North Carolina man reeled in a largemouth bass that weighed, a state record, 15 pounds, 2 ounces. Of course, that excitement quickly faded when we read this.

David Ristig had the adventure of a lifetime last week when he wrestled and eventually conquered a 356-pound halibut out of the Gulf of Alaska! For a while, Ristig though he was fighting with a shark, but once the monster surfaced then Matt Flora, captain of the boat, knew that it wasn’t. And while we are totally impressed by this dude’s haul, we’re wondering if the Michael Vick protesters might have a problem with the captain’s methods of taming the wild fish.

After putting two gaffs into the halibut, it took three men to lift the 356-pound fish into the boat. Flora gave it a few Barry Bonds-like whacks with a baseball bat, knocking it dead.

Hey, it’s better than electrocution.

Links:

[ADN.com]: Monster flatfish

Categories
Boxing

Floyd Mayweather Jr. makes jumping rope look pretty sweet

We haven’t touched a jump rope since the administration created a horrible six-week program back in sixth grade, but we still remember how frustrating that stupid rope could be. So, we were pretty taken back by Floyd Mayweather Jr. and his mad skills.

With twinkle toes like that, it won’t be long until Dancing with the Stars comes a callin’. Let’s see Emmitt Smith do that!

Links:

[Our Book of Scrap]: Floyd Mayweather Can Jump Some F**kin’ Rope

Categories
NBA General

Skinny Charles Barkley gets Punk’d

Now, we probably don’t need to tell you this, but this clip of Charles Barkley getting pranked on the golf course is really, really old. Maybe we could tell because of the ugly fashions of the day or maybe it had to do with the guest appearance by Hersey Hawkins. Nope, the real reason you know this is happened in a time long, long ago is because Sir-cumference actually looks like one half of his current self. While his girth might have increased over time, the one thing that remains the same is that if you put Barkley in front of a camera, you will get a chuckle out of Chuckles.

And don’t worry, if Barkley ever gets his revenge on Hersey, we’ll bring you the tape.