Sports are the ultimate in unpredictability; about the only thing that is predictable about sports is that if you watch long enough, anything can happen. And it usually does. Whether it’s soccer, gymnastics, automobile racing, basketball, skateboarding, figure skating, skiing, karate, cricket or table tennis, you just never know what you’re gonna get.
Like we’ve said before, we know that somewhere deep down inside of soccer there is something that is embodies the art and pageantry of sport, but with so many damn knuckleheads running around on the fields and in the stadiums it gets pretty hard to get past all the shenanigans. C’mon, how are we supposed to take futbol seriously when the refs are running around like that little kid on Ugly Betty.
We’d like to say that this is the fruitiest behavior we’ve ever seen on a soccer pitch, but that would be a blatant lie.
We’ve seen some pretty ingenious practical jokes in our days, but weighing down a soccer ball so that it’s as hard as a rock is about as good as it gets. The simplicity of it all is what really makes this a classic prank.
The leapfrog gag is a tad outdated, but we still appreciate the effort. Now the the creepy/hilarious voiceover, that’s just strange.
Links:
[Our Book of Scrap]: Something To Wake You Out of Your “Mike Vick? Indicted?” Fog
Well, here we go again. It’s another day and another black eye to the sport of soccer as another riot broke out during a soccer match, this time in Buenos Aires. Fans rushed the field during the final moments of the game and began brawling with opposing fans. It was an ugly, ugly scene as the “fans” beat each other with metal pipes, rocks and chairs until 78 people were arrested, 14 were injured and one was killed.
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[WCBSTV.com]: Soccer Fan Killed When Game Turns To Brawl
Most of the time when we talk about soccer, we focus on the ugly, nasty side of the sport: the riots, the package biting, the other riots, the Beckham’s American invasion, the murders, the attempted murders. But, believe it or not, we’ve actually found something about soccer that we like; when hotties play it in teeny tiny skirts and stomach revealing tops.
We are so relieved to find out that soccer actually had some untapped potential hidden deep down inside. This is honestly the greatest spin put on a sport since the Lingerie Bowl.
Links:
[Our Book of Scrap]: Girls Playing Soccer In Short Skirts
We’re sure that soccer has amazingly athletic and graceful plays that occur from time to time, but for some reason the only news that catches our eye from the world of futbol seems to involve riots or, uh, well, riots. That is, until now. We’re still not moved to the point of showing you highlights or anything but we did come across a clip that we thought we’d share with you. Apparently it’s a few years old but that doesn’t mean the incredible gayness of the whole thing has diminished in the least.
And you fools thought that Chad Johnson and T.O. liked to “celebrate in a different way.” Even Dennis Rodman thought the soccer dude’s behavior was kind of disturbing.
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[The Offside]: ‘Biting his Unit’ s certainly a different way to celebrate
Lionel Richie performed at English soccer player John Terry’s wedding this week and he wasn’t too happy about some of the players reactions to his songs:
A witness said: “It was really embarrassing. Toni was looking very anxious about the lads making a real fool of her. When he started singing Hello the boys started chanting back to him as if they were on the football ground terraces. They had downed so much champagne at the reception the guests became really lairy and started shouting over his set.“In the end he asked the crowd to be quiet and said, `I’ve only got two more songs, please stick with me.’
“When he came off stage he moaned to one of the organisers, `I imagine this is what it’s like at a working men’s club’.
Maybe Lionel is just on edge because his daughter has been knocked up by some dude from the worst band on the planet? (Via The Offside)
In other news…
[USA Today]: Duke lax: alls well that ends with a cash settlement
[RGJ.com]: Golfer’s bad swing sparks brush fire
[Inside Bay Area]: Kyle Petty to drive, broadcast at the same time. Why not have a cup of coffee while he’s at it.
[Newsday.com]: Vin Baker arrested for DWI
[NY Daily News]: Yankees sign 2 players from China
[Can’t Stop the Bleeding]: Even REM bassist/keyboardist/singer fed up with Braves fans
[The Big Lead]: Elijah Dukes calls radio station to confirm that he is insane
And finally, can you idiots stop congratulating Tiger Woods on the birth of his daughter? He doesn’t really give a shit what you think.
We know that Galaxy GM Alexi Lalas is trying to drum up publicity for David Beckham’s arrival in the United States but this is just sheer lunacy:
There’s no accounting for bad taste. That a segment of the world worships an inferior product in the Premiership is their business. English football now has the haves and the have-nots. It’s just that the Premiership have become so skilled in presentation. They took a page out of American football and so now they have Saturday Showdowns and Super Sundays. I love it. This is high-calibre marketing – taking an inferior product and improving it through packaging.The experts in England talk about David Beckham as if he’s going into semi-retirement. It’s insulting to say Beckham is on his way to Hollywood when he’s coming to play in one of the most competitive leagues in the world. There are a lot of stars who would struggle here.
There’s this delusion that if it’s English then it’s great. But a whole world exists outside of England. That’s reflected in the difficulties they had when everyone ran to the Premiership. Maybe it’s OK for the fan but, for the average development of the players, their game is struggling.
This is tantamount of the Canadian Football League calling out the NFL. Here are five reasons why MLS is not one of the most competitive leagues in the world.
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[Guardian UK]: Premiership inferior, says Lalas
We probably don’t need to tell you this but soccer fans are some weird dudes. Especially those crazy diehards over in Spain who actually celebrate the winning of a championship and the deportation of the Beckhams to America by rioting! But, seriously, would expect anything less?
After David Beckham’s final game with Real Madrid clinched the club their 30th Spanish league title, thousands and thousands of fans packed downtown Madrid to celebrate. And according to the Interior Minister Alfredo Perez Rubalcaba (try saying that three times fast), everything was pretty peaceful for most of the night. But somehow the high-fives and hugs turned into tear gas and violence and by the end of the episode, over 100 people were reportedly injured during the brawl between cops and fans.
Leave it up to a few bad apples to ruin the celebration of an entire city. Now, we’re not trying to imply that America is filled with the kindest souls or the most polite and courtesy fans. We’ve had our share of sports riots that have giving fans a black eye, both figuratively and literally, but to our credit, the Spurs recent championship celebration didn’t produce any major bloodshed or arrests in either Cleveland or San Antonio. And the NHL finals a few weeks back went off without a hitch as well. But then again, most people don’t care about the NBA or the NHL, and even more people were simply bored to tears by the entire playoffs. It’s kind of hard to be moved to violence when your passion for a sport is less than your passion for reruns of Bill Nye The Science Guy.
Links:
[AZCentral.com]: Police, fans clash after Real Madrid win
We thought that Byron Houston’s little incident was going to be enough public exhibitionism for the day but then we were horrified to find out that Houston isn’t the only pervert with no shame to rear his ugly head today. Turns out that some whacky soccer guy (is there any other kind?) named DeMarcus Beasley had a few too many Capri Suns before the game and ended up taking a piss right on the sideline. But he was very subtle about it so that nobody could tell. Of course, we’re guessing that he didn’t know there was a camera focused in on him the entire time.
And unless Zydrunas Ilgauskas or Scot Pollard decides to relieve their frustrations of getting swept out of the finals by the Spurs by flashing pedestrians on the street, we’re not going to bring you anymore news about wieners for the rest of the day. Promise.
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[Our Book of Scrap]: Hey, When You Gotta Go, You Gotta Go
