NBA General

Odds and Ends: Oklahoma City is currently announcerless

“OKC f’n sucks, kiddo”

The longtime voice of the Seattle Sonics has decided to forgo relocating to Oklahoma City, opting instead to remain in Seattle and become the announcer for the city’s – get this – soccer team instead.

Kevin Calabro, the voice of the Sonics for 21 seasons, will become the voice of Seattle Sounders FC broadcasts as the team debuts in Major League Soccer next season. …

“I’m thrilled to be part of Sounders FC soccer in a city that I know will embrace it,” said Calabro. “Seattle is blessed to have devoted ownership as well and I know people will be excited about the possibilities.”

Yea, we think it was the whole “Thundercats” speculation that kept him from taking the job too.

In other news…

[Uncoached]: Who says chicks can’t dunk?

[Kissing Suzy Kolber]: Jeremy Shockey just realized he got traded to the Saints

[Shake dem Dreads]: 32 NFL teams, 115 dread heads. How’s your team stack up?

[Chicago Bull]: Deng, they coulda had Kobe

[ESPN Page 2]: T.O. saves the day when Batman and Hancock couldn’t

[]: Thunder. Thundercats. Thunder. Yea, definitely a step in the right direction

[YepYep]: Top home plate collisions

[FanNation]: He wasn’t involved in another Nipplegate, so we’re going to let it slide

[]: 3…2…1…Swish. “Sweet.”

[Deuce of Davenport]: Dude A: “So, do you root for the Phillies or the Yankees?”

Dude B: “Feel deez nuts!”

[]: Ron Artest might be a Piston?!? Shut the hell up!!

[]: Charles Barkley gives his money away, but this time it’s not to a casino

[]: Captain Lou Albano might be 75 years old, but he still knows how to throw a party

[]: Picture of Satan taking in a day at the ballpark

[The Redshirt Senior]: Hey, take it back; Erin Andrews is hot, you big liar! Did you even watch the ESPYs???

And finally, dude, you can win The Ultimate Warrior’s shirt. Well, he’s not really The Ultimate Warrior anymore, but he’s the old, creepy dude who used to be The Ultimate Warrior. Still cool, right?

Ultimate Warrior Contest: Win The Shirt Off Warrior’s Back!
Uploaded by ultimatewarriortv
NBA General

Oklahoma City Thundercats are already heading downhill fast

OKC is going to have some sweet

The Seattle SuperSonics are no more and it saddens us. The yellow and green had some great years up in the Pacific Northwest, but Oklahoma tycoon Clay Bennett ripped the team away and now it’s time for the franchise to move onward and upward. At least, we hope so, but, so far, things aren’t looking to promising. First, the team is heading to Oklahoma City. No offense OKC, but even Gilbert Arenas bumped Milwaukee up to second on the “Worst NBA Cities” list following the relocation. Maybe the NBA will put a franchise in Boise, Idaho or Billings, Montana next.

Second, the team name being thrown around is the Thundercats. OMG-WTF-LOL. Guess the Smurfs, the Transformers and the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are being saved for Boise and Billings. (Here’s a list of more potential names for the team. Personally, we like the Okie Dokies.)

So, can things get worse for the Oklahoma City Thundercats? The Beardown says yes and here’s how.

10. Hire Brian McNamee to be the teams strength and conditioning coach. He did wonders for Andy Petitt and Roger Clemens all ready.

9. Hire Isaiah Thomas as the General Manager. He couldn’t mess this up that badly, could he?

8. Give Jose Canseco a chance to run the promotions for each game. This guy could squeeze a nickel out of the most mediocre talent levels.

7. Have Latrell Sprewell handle the community relations department. I have heard he is a very hands on kind of guy.

6. Allow Kobe to handle all hotel accommodation’s. The hotel staffs rave about his generosity.

5. Tab Kenny Rogers for Media Relations. This guy loses himself in his work.

4. Allow Hector “Macho” Camacho to design the team uniforms.

3. Ask the 1989 Minnesota Vikings Front office for help in draft strategy and trade away 3 1st, 2nd, and 3rd round picks for one player.

2. Hire a former TV Color Commentator with no experience to be your GM. Then after 16 wins in 4 seasons, give him a 5 year extension.

1. Try to Drum up fans and hold a Ten Cent Beer Night Promotion. Sit back and watch the hillarity ensue (Cleveland forfeited the game after fans rioted and charged the field, not in the fun Huge Upset College Football kinda way). Even though, I would be more than happy to attend Ten Cent Beer Night.

We know you’re still in mourning, Seattle, but if things go right, this could become a complete embarrassment for Clay Bennett. And isn’t that really the best revenge possible?


[The Beardown]: Destroying a franchise; A how to

Seattle Supersonics

So long, Seattle SuperSonics

You shall be missed

A lot of people have a lot of problems with the way David Stern is running the NBA. Basically, they think he’s letting the league go straight down the drain while becoming a laughingstock in the process. Between the referee gambling scandal, the end of an era in Seattle and the drafting of Joakim Noah, some fans are simply fed up with the situation and they’re not going to take it anymore. Here’s one of the thousands of fan resignation letters currently flooding the NBA’s home office in New York.

Dear Commissioner Stern,

I have been an NBA fan since birth, rooting the majority for my home state team, the Chicago Bulls through thick and thin times.

But the news coming from Seattle is disheartening. I am through with these games, in which owners of professional sports franchises hang cities like Seattle by the balls until they scream ‘uncle’ on a new arena. That’s not how it was growing up watching Jordan and Pippen play. Jordan himself said the old Chicago Stadium was a better venue than the United Center, to which he compared it to a shopping mall.

And so in situations like this, where Clay Bennett and Co., single handedly ripped the SuperSonics from Seattle, a 41-year old franchise; that I submit my fan resignation letter to the once proud National Basketball Association.

I no longer want to be involved with anything from or with this league.

I truly believe the NBA is making a grave, and arrogant, mistake shunning the Seattle market. The over/under for the Oklahoma City team is 3 years for me. Then they’ll turn into a Memphis organization, or a Charlotte Bobcats organization (sorry Mike).

You, Commissioner Stern turned a blind eye to the economics of Seattle, not even trying to cut a deal with the lawmakers. You just showed up to the capital, whining about a new stadium. You are a hazard to this league. I feel for the good of the game, you should leave the NBA with someone that knows how to run it.

This league hasn’t been the same since June 1998, when MJ made the shot over Bryon Russell in Utah.

I’m done.


Ryan K.

Of course, there are plenty of pissed-off blowhards sending in video responses on the matter too. God bless modern technology.


[]: NBA fan resignation letter

Seattle Supersonics

Kevin Durant might not stay in Washington for long

For all you northwestern NBA geeks out there who are thrilled over the prospects of a life-long rivalry between Portland’s Greg Oden and Seattle’s Kevin Durant, you had better enjoy these match-ups while you can (the first being on Christmas day) because if things don’t change you’ll start hearing about Oklahoma City’s Kevin Durant.

The Sonics want a new arena and the threats of relocation continue to be the franchise’s main method of possible persuasion. In fact, a minority owner told an Oklahoma City paper that when the group of businessmen from Oklahoma City bought the franchise, their intentions were to move the club.

Aubrey McClendon told the Journal Record paper in Oklahoma City he knows the NBA franchise would make more money in Seattle, but if the city doesn’t help build a new arena the team will move.

However, now that Seattle has a cornerstone for the future and a serious chance to turn things around, the fans might be a little more accommodating and open to the idea of dishing out their share of the $500 million needed to fund a new arena. But you guys better think quick because those Okies are just itchin’ to take the greatest freshman to ever lace up a pair of sneakers out into the middle of nowhere.

McClendon told the Journal Record the Seattle leadership has 60 days to make some decisions, and if they don’t meet Bennett’s requirements the Sonics may be headed for Oklahoma.

Hey, no matter what, you’ve still got Nirvana and Starbucks to call all your own.


[]: Sonics Minority Owner Says Team Destined For Oklahoma City