Filed Under: NBA General
OKC is going to have some sweet
The Seattle SuperSonics are no more and it saddens us. The yellow and green had some great years up in the Pacific Northwest, but Oklahoma tycoon Clay Bennett ripped the team away and now it’s time for the franchise to move onward and upward. At least, we hope so, but, so far, things aren’t looking to promising. First, the team is heading to Oklahoma City. No offense OKC, but even Gilbert Arenas bumped Milwaukee up to second on the “Worst NBA Cities” list following the relocation. Maybe the NBA will put a franchise in Boise, Idaho or Billings, Montana next.
Second, the team name being thrown around is the Thundercats. OMG-WTF-LOL. Guess the Smurfs, the Transformers and the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are being saved for Boise and Billings. (Here’s a list of more potential names for the team. Personally, we like the Okie Dokies.)
So, can things get worse for the Oklahoma City Thundercats? The Beardown says yes and here’s how.
10. Hire Brian McNamee to be the teams strength and conditioning coach. He did wonders for Andy Petitt and Roger Clemens all ready.
9. Hire Isaiah Thomas as the General Manager. He couldn’t mess this up that badly, could he?
8. Give Jose Canseco a chance to run the promotions for each game. This guy could squeeze a nickel out of the most mediocre talent levels.
7. Have Latrell Sprewell handle the community relations department. I have heard he is a very hands on kind of guy.
6. Allow Kobe to handle all hotel accommodation’s. The hotel staffs rave about his generosity.
5. Tab Kenny Rogers for Media Relations. This guy loses himself in his work.
4. Allow Hector “Macho” Camacho to design the team uniforms.
3. Ask the 1989 Minnesota Vikings Front office for help in draft strategy and trade away 3 1st, 2nd, and 3rd round picks for one player.
2. Hire a former TV Color Commentator with no experience to be your GM. Then after 16 wins in 4 seasons, give him a 5 year extension.
1. Try to Drum up fans and hold a Ten Cent Beer Night Promotion. Sit back and watch the hillarity ensue (Cleveland forfeited the game after fans rioted and charged the field, not in the fun Huge Upset College Football kinda way). Even though, I would be more than happy to attend Ten Cent Beer Night.
We know you’re still in mourning, Seattle, but if things go right, this could become a complete embarrassment for Clay Bennett. And isn’t that really the best revenge possible?
[The Beardown]: Destroying a franchise; A how to