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All Other Sports

Phil Hellmuth humiliates himself again

We haven’t ever met anyone who likes Phil Hellmuth; sure, he’s a great poker player, yada, yada, yada, but at the end of the day, he’s a whiny brat that has the capabilities to get us more riled up than those crazy chicks on Flavor of Love Girls: Charm School. So, needless to say, we were more than thrilled to come across this video of Hellmuth behind the wheel of a race car for an UltimateBet promotional shoot. The main reason being that he went Nick Hogan on the track and ended up going head first into a pole.

We’re pretty sure that he completely blamed the crash on the car.

Links:

[BaltimoreSun.com]: Poker pro survives crash, shrugs shoulders

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All Other Sports

Being retarded goes a long way in backyard wrestling

We’ve showed you just how idiotic and dangerous pro wrestling can be when complete morons step inside the ropes with the sole purpose of shocking the masses or murdering their opponent. But, at least these guys are getting paid to put their bodies on the line. The pay probably sucks, but they’re still being compensated for their efforts. The even bigger numbskulls are the kids who try to imitate these extremists, seemingly thinking that they are invincible. Guess what; you’re not. And while dropping you’re friend on his head off your roof might sound like fun, apparently it’s not all that great. But, that doesn’t mean it’s not hilarious to make fun of just how stupid wannabes can be.

Good luck making it to the big time, kids. You’re going to need it.

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All Other Sports

Bowling just got kinda cool

Now, we’re not willing to crown bowling as an official sport just yet, but we have no problem admitting that it takes some skill and the guys who waste 10 hours a day at the lanes can get pretty damn good at what they do. So good, in fact, that people actually have figured out how to make bowling somewhat entertaining for the spectators by coming up with some nifty trick shots. Like this fancy way of picking up a pair of spares at once:

Of course, the only way you can ever even be in that position is if the pins fall down and actually stay down.

Categories
General Sports

This chick is definitely not the next Danica Patrick

Now, we know that hurtling around a track at triple-digit speeds can be a little terrifying, but the girl in this clip might take the cake for in-car meltdowns.

But, we can’t really blame her; we’d be screaming for our lives too if we were in a car when Nick Hogan was behind the wheel. Or was that Eddie Griffin driving?

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All Other Sports

The best of the best, by the numbers

Have you ever sat around and wondered “Who is the greatest athlete to ever wear the No. 86?” Yea, we hadn’t either until SI.com came out with their piece on “The best athletes by number.” Now, we can’t help but argue over who the better No. 34 was: Walter Payton, Shaquille O’Neal or Kirby Puckett. According to SI.com, it’s Sweetness.

Anyways, it’s a pretty interesting read and it’s a great way to kill time over the dull days of summer sports. And when we say “kill time,” we mean kill time. You have to flip through each jersey number one by one, so you really have to want to know who the greatest No. 86 of all time is to make the painful journey of mouse clicks. So, when someone makes it to No. 23, let us know who it is. We’re dying to find out.

Until then, enjoy the retirement of Kenny “The Jet” Smith’s No. 30 Houston Rockets jersey. How did SI mess that one up? They went with some guy named Nolan Ryan.

Links:

[SI.com]: The best athletes by number

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All Other Sports

Somehow Ultimate Frisbee celebrates another birthday

The summer is here and this is the time of year when people are supposed to get out and enjoy the weather by hopping in the local cement pond or playing your favorite outdoor sport.  Some people like baseball, others like to simply toss around the old pigskin.  But then there are the people who play with a Frisbee and call it an “Ultimate Frisbee” league.

Now, we’ve heard about these types of nut jobs before, but we just can’t believe they’re still around.  But, apparently, we shouldn’t be surprised because the “sport” has been around for 40 years and has leagues across the nation.  Who would have guessed?  We know that we shouldn’t knock it until we’ve tried it, but when it comes to calling Ultimate Frisbee a sport, we just can’t do it.  That would be like saying “lights out bowling” with the glow in the dark pins is a sport too.  Hell, why not slap the world “extreme” in front of  tetherball and make another new sport?

But we’re not going to completely blow off this 40 year Frisbee fad; if  Stewie digs it then we’re willing to give it chance. It certainly beats the hell out of competitive eating as a sport.

Categories
Miami Heat

Sheriff Shaq; hmmm, it has a nice ring to it.


Shaquille O’Neal has a reputation for taking it easy during the off-season, but nobody can say that about the big fella this year. The Miami Heat took a beating in the playoffs when they were humiliated by the Bulls, but that seems to have lit a fire under Shaq’s colossal butt. Not only is he helping obese kids lose weight every Tuesday evening on ABC, now he’s planning his future career as possible sheriff of Broward County in Florida.

Giving the guy a badge and saying he’s a cop is one thing, but putting the Big Baryshnikov in office is a whole other story. We know that Shaq has a love for law enforcement and despite the bullying he does on the court, he’s got a big heart with good intentions, but the Diesel has been known to hold a grudge or two or three. You’d have to feel sorry for any poor sap getting busted in his jurisdiction because a petty crime could turn into a long term stint in the joint if he’s in sour mood. And don’t expect any second chances from O’Neal either because if he doesn’t get his way he’s probably just going to split town.

But, hey, if Charles Barkley has a chance to become the governor of Alabama then we’re not going to put it past Wilt Chamberneezy to become a law enforcement big shot. After all, 15 years of carrying a league on your back can earn you a few fans. Especially after he gave the state their first NBA Championship; Dwyane Wade helped out a little bit, but we don’t think that will hurt Shaq too much in the polls.

Links:

[CBS4.com]: Shaq Sets His Sights On Being Broward Sheriff

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All Other Sports

Hulk Hogan’s kid is no champ behind the wheel

Nine times out of ten, we would never suggest that anyone go into professional wrestling, especially with the horrible writing that is dominating the WWE these days. And then there’s the whole Chris Benoit double murder-suicide thing that’s really putting a dark cloud over the world of pro wrasslin. But we think we might have found our exception to the rule: Nick Hogan.

The Hulkster’s kid is trying to become a race car driver but he doesn’t seem to be having much luck. Well, let’s just say he didn’t fare too well at the NOPI event held in Carson, CA on Saturday when he smashed up a perfectly good Dodge Viper. And we just so happen to have found some video of the crash from the inside out.

Good thing that pops has connections with the millions of Hulkamaniacs out there. Surely, one of them owns a body shop.

Links:

[TMZ.com]: Hulk Jr. Lays the Smackdown…On a Wall

Categories
General Sports

A quick break from the world of sports

All right everyone, this has absolutely nothing to do sports, but we were cracking up so hard when we came across this clip on Can’t Stop The Bleeding that we just had to share it with all of you. So, sit back, kick your feet up and enjoy this musical tribute to all those cartoon hotties you grew up watching. We give to you: C.I.L.F.!

This guy is never going to win a Grammy with this kind of stuff, but if he can continue at this pace, he just might make to Weird Al Yankovic-type status one day.

Categories
Chicago Cubs

Another horrible rendition of "Take Me Out to the Ball Game"

George Thorogood just gave “Bad to the Bone” a whole new meaning when he took Cubbies fans out to “the old ba-ba-ba-ba-ball game.”

Okay, so Thorogood wasn’t completely horrid; it could have been a whole lot worse. He could have gone Eddie Vedder on us.

“Buy me some peanuts and crack”??????

Links:
[Can’t Stop The Bleeding]: (Very) Bad To The Bone: Thorogood’s Disloyalty To The Wilmington Blue Rocks