Tag: football

Categories
NFL General

Touchdown celebrations just aren’t what they used to be

2007 was definitely a down year for clever touchdown celebrations in the National Football League, we mean the No Fun League. Chad Johnson tried his best to get the year off to a good start, but, unfortunately, donning a “Future Hall of Famer” jacket was both the highlight and lowlight of end zone elation this season. So, we’re going to go fire up the `way back’ machine and bring you a classic football celebration to make up for this year’s lack of luster. It’s not Johnson’s Irish jig, Steve Smith’s boat ride or pole slide, Terrell Owens’ Sharpie or even Gus Frerotte’s head-butt. Nope, this celebration is much nuttier than any of those.

Categories
New England Patriots

No one compares to the Pats for Pat Noone, not even Mrs. Noone


We all love to say that we’re our favorite team’s No. 1 fan. Some of us could even make a legitimate case to receive such an award. But in the end, we all pale in comparison to the one, the only, the undeniable king of extreme, New England Patriots superfan Pat Noone.

Consider this: For more than 30 years, Noone has been driving to games at Foxborough from his home in – wait for it – Pennsylvania. The trip from the Poconos typically takes 5 1/2 hours, but in bad weather, Noone, an executive at the DG Yuengling & Son Brewery, can be on the road for up to 10 hours – and that’s one way. But, wait, there’s more. Noone’s wedding ring has a Patriots logo on it, and he’s installed a 1,200-pound wooden bear wearing a Pats jersey in his front yard. The house he shares with his long-suffering wife has a replica of the Pats locker room, and it even includes a urinal.

Okay, so maybe it’s a bit overboard, but Mr. Noone is still the coolest guy on the planet. C’mon, how many of you guys out there would love to have the balls to say something like this to your potential wife.

Q. Being recognized like this must be a treat

A. I’m ecstatic and grateful. It’s one of the highlights of my life.

Q. Don’t let your wife hear you say that.

A. Oh, she’ll understand. When we got married, I put a stipulation on it. I told her, ‘The Pats are No. 1 and you’ll be No. 2.’ I told her if she can accept those terms, great, and if not, I’ll understand and we can go along just being friends.

…

I told her about training camp and the draft. . . I told her she could be No. 1 for the month of May.

And she still said yes?! We stand in awe Mr. Noone, we stand in awe.

Links:

[Boston.com]: How big a fan? Patriots are No. 1 in his life, his wife No. 2.

Categories
General Sports

Forget about SkyCam, we want the audio exclusives

We propose that every major sports association makes it mandatory for coaches and players to wear microphones during every game. Call us crazy, but we’d almost rather hear the chit chat on the field than some of these loser broadcast crews. Think about it; would you rather hear Mike Tirico blabber for three hours on Monday Night Football or listen to coach Gruden ask his staff where his team is currently sitting on the field. Yeah, it happens.

Of course, if you wanna know why we don’t always mic up players and coaches, just imagine the kinds of things you’d hear come out of guys like Bobby Knight if he forgot he was wired.

Categories
College Football

Huskers fans are more aggressive than the Blackshirts this year


Lots of people take college football very, very seriously. Unfortunately, at some point their passion can turn to disgust and when that happens, they cross the line from being a fan into being a cell mate with Nailz.

Police are trying to track down an unknown male who called Nebraska defensive coordinator Kevin Cosgrove early on November 4 and left him a friendly message to remind him of how the Huskers just got blasted by the Jayhawks.

One message told Cosgrove: “To go back where he came from (expletive) before I kill you.

And, yes, that did say “one” message. Cosgrove has been bombarded by obscene and threatening phone calls for weeks now, but police were able to trace this specific call back to Kansas. According to the police, this is the first time that they’ve ever investigated death threats against the school’s football coach.

This reflects nothing on Nebraska fans. Nebraska fans are the best. It’s not something regular fans would do,” said fan Rubin Sass.

We agree totally. Nebraska fans don’t kill or threaten. They just boo the hell outta their team at home and then the student section starts chanting “Fire Cosgrove” in unison. Okay, so, like we said, they don’t typically kill or threaten, but they do enjoy dishing out a little humiliation.

What ever happened to the classic idea of just plunking down a “For Sale” in his yard during the middle of the night. It’s cheap, it’s effective and it won’t get you tossed in the clink.

Links:

[WISN.com]: Huskers Football Coach Gets Death Threat

Categories
College Football

Three Iowa football players investigated for sexual assault


Well, we don’t know much about this case, but we do know that some University of Iowa football players are complete wastes of flesh. The coppers are investigating a case of sexual assault involving three Hawkeye players that happened on October 14 on campus at the Hillcrest Residence Hall, but it wasn’t reported by the victim until November 7. No names are being released at this time.

Sexual assault is a very serious issue and we’re treating it as such. I’m obviously concerned for the well-being and safety of the young woman; I’m concerned there are football players included in the investigation; and I’m concerned that we allowed the legal process to take its course.” — UI Athletics Director Gary Barta

“I have talked to Gary Barta on this matter. I share his concern for the young woman and her well-being. Likewise, I am concerned that football players are the subject of the investigation. Because it is an open investigation, I cannot comment more,” — Kirk Ferentz, University of Iowa Head Football Coach.

We know this is a horrible crime and we have to patient until the law runs it course, but those were a couple of the weakest statements ever made about a serious injustice. Thanks for telling us rape is bad.

Links:

[KCCI.com]: Three Hawkeyes Questioned In Sexual Assault

Categories
General Sports

Wake up, wake up, wake up; it’s the first of the month


Hooray!! October is finally over.

Don’t get us wrong, October has its good points. First off, there was college football. And then there was college football. Oh, can’t forget college football, more college football, a little pro football and then there was college football. You get the point.

Anyways, it’s nothing personal, but sorry, No. 10, we’re over you. The MLB playoffs were kinda fun even if the World Series was a total snoozer. And like the rest of America, we were scarily close to smashing our newly purchased HD television set if we saw one more promo for Frank TV. Oh, and don’t even get us started on the stupid Dane Cook commercials; the real ones or the fake ones. Yes, yes; we know, there is only one October. That guy obviously sold his soul to the devil in return for starring roles with Jessica Alba in F- movies and, quite honestly, we can’t say we blame him.

Basically, all we’re saying is that we’re stoked to be changing our calendars to November and we’re ready to start turning our attention to the meaty portion of the BCS race (regardless of the illegitimacy of the whole system), turduckit, holidays and the fantasy football home stretch. Hooray, November!!

Until October 1, 2008 rolls around, we’re taking our Manny-O-Lantern and putting this month behind us.

Categories
High School Sports

Gimme an `O’! Gimme a `U’! Gimme a `C’! Gimme a `H’! What’s that spell?

You know those stupid banners that high school teams go ripping through before games? Well, they’re dangerous. Actually, it’s not the banners that are dangerous, it’s the players running through `em.

We love how the station goes with the informative yet humiliating approach to this piece.

Happy Homecoming Homecoming Princess!

Links:

[Awful Announcing]: Wait Guys! There’s Something Wrong With The Banner …….. Oh No…..

Categories
All Other Sports

Down! Set! Blue 42! Blue 42! Hut! Hut! Bowl!

We’re glad that there is still some fun and laughter left in bowling. After the infamous underground pug bowling scandal videos surfaced in April of `06, we weren’t sure if a game of Ten Pin would ever make us smile again.

Categories
College Football

"Crack open an ice cold Bud Light O’ Emperor of Excuses"

If you know anything about anything then you know all about the Real Men of Genius.  Let’s see, there’s Mr. Driving Range Ball Picker Upper, Mr. Pro Wrestling Wardrobe Designer, Mr. Outside the Stadium Peanut Seller, Mr. Hawaiian Shirt Pattern Designer and Mr. Really, Really Tight Jean Wearer.  Then you’ve got Mr. Bathroom Stall Dirty Joke Writer, Mr. New Shoe Tissue Paper Stuffer, Mr. Basketball Court Sweat Wiper Upper, Mr. Way-Too-Proud-Of-Texas Guy and Mr. Professional Sports Leg Cramp Rubber Outer.

Well, right between Mr. Refuses To Turn On His Air Conditioning Guy and Mr. Rolling Cooler Cooler Roller sits the newest addition to the Real Men of Genius family:  Mr. Delusional, Irrational, Hopelessly Pathetic Notre Dame Football Fan.

Links:

[TrojanWire.com]: Today We Salute You, Mr. Delusional, Irrational, Notre Dame Football Fan

Categories
College Football

Boise State might not have a large fan base, but they make up for it in prestige


If you haven’t noticed, Boise State has played back-to-back games on Sunday. Despite the fact they could probably hang with the Miami Dolphins, the Broncos have not been promoted to the NFL. No, as usual, it’s ESPN who’s to blame for yesterday’s match-up between Boise State and Nevada.

While some people are complaining about the unusual scheduling, there is one person who seems to be hopping on the new Boise State football Sunday’s bandwagon: his name is Jesus.

We think that Jesus would be down there on the sidelines, excited about people being excited too,” David Price of Boise Church of Christ said.

The Boise Church of Christ says its motto is “Broncos for Jesus.”

They see a game day on Sunday as an opportunity to come together and celebrate two great things: religion and Bronco Football.

“The students sell parking places for this football game and the money that we raise in the selling of the spots is use by students for student activities,” John Moreland said.

Their worship center is located about a block away from Bronco Stadium.

Today they’re providing parking and refreshments to any fans that need a place to park or a bite to eat.

They call it a “tailgate for Jesus.” They’re also having activities after the game too a sort of holy after-party. They say this is a perfect opportunity to support the community and Boise State University.

“Broncos for Jesus is what we’re about – uphold his way and the Bronco way,” Moreland said.

Apparently, the blue field isn’t the only advantage the Broncos have when opponents come to town. Hey, it worked for the Spurs and who are we to say that the big guy isn’t college pigskin? But after the first batch of BCS rankings hit the web yesterday, we’re kinda thinking that South Florida might be getting a little divine intervention.

Links:

[KTVB.com]: Church embraces “Broncos for Jesus”