Tag: College Football

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College Football

Do you like me? Like you or Like You like you?


USC QB Blake Mitchell was suspended from the team after getting arrested for a bar fight. From the police report:

Mitchell initiated a verbal exchange with Kylan Ertzberger, 19, asking if Ertzberger liked Mitchell. Ertzberger said he had no problem with Mitchell but didn’t like the fact he was trying to bring underage women into the bar. When Ertzberger turned to walk away, Mitchell punched him in the left eye.

Steve Spurrier (shockingly) tried to blow it off as just an example of college kids being college kids. Mitchell was suspended but not expelled from the team. It’s hard for a 19 year old to turn away underage women from a bar but Erzberger clearly takes working the door very seriously. But hey, at least wall the old pervs in South Carolina now know where they can go now for underaged women.

Links:
[The State]: South Carolina quarterback arrested, suspended

Categories
College Football

Here’s one way to make the starting lineup

University of Northern Colorado’s reserve punter Mitch Cozad was arrested for stabbing the starting punter in the kicking leg. An anonymous university employee reports that Cozad attacked Mendoza from behind and stabbed him between the buttocks and the hamstring.

Now that starter Rafael Mendoza is out for Saturday’s game, freshman Zak Bigelow will have the punting duties while Cozad gets himself a second-degree assault charge and expulsion from school.

Didn’t Tanya Harding teach us anything? First, you don’t do the actual maiming yourself, you hire some fat thug to do it for you. Second, this might be the most unimaginative way to hurt someone but the most imaginative twisted way to get the starting job. Too bad it had zero chance of actually working.

No word on whether Mendoza was writhing on the ground sobbing, “why me? why now?”

Links:

[The Denver Channel]: UNC Reserve Punter Arrested For Allegedly Stabbing Rival In Leg

Categories
College Football

Tidbits From The Tailgate: Beware of Road Warrior Animal

1.  Beware the progeny of “Road Warrior Animal”.

Who can forget the song “Iron Man” blaring in the background as “The Road Warriors” hit the ring to pound on two chumps?  They were without a doubt the most physically dominating tag team in wrestling history.  And now…..the spawn of “Animal” is arguably the best defensive player in the country.  Lost in the story of Ohio State’s whipping of Texas was the game James Laurinatis had.  Animal Jr. registered 13 tackles (10 solo), 2 forced fumbles (one of which Ohio State recovered to stop a sure Texas score), and an interception.  I like Troy Smith, but he was not the best Buckeye on the field.  Just a true sophomore, Laurinatis has a chance to be better than A.J. Hawk as Hawk was not nearly this good this early in his career.  

2.  So that’s why you’re going #1 in the NFL Draft.

Brady Quinn shredded the Penn State defense on Saturday afternoon.  It was like an 18-year-old coming back from college to put a whipping on his 7-year-old younger brother in a game of pick-up hoops.  Quinn ended up with 287 yards, three touchdowns, and the Heisman vote of everybody who tuned into the clinic he provided.  

3.  That’s right….I’m from Boise, Idaho.  I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but I’m pretty good.

Apparently everybody who votes in the AP and USA Today Coaches poll skipped the Boise State-Oregon State game on Thursday night, because Boise State was unjustly left out of the polls.  Ian Johnson was spectacular as he ran for 240 yards and five touchdowns.  How Pac-10 schools missed the sophomore running back is a complete surprise.  All I can assume is that in high school he was like Rachel Leigh Cook in the beginning of “She’s All That” and that now at Boise he’s the version of Cook with the glasses off and the low-cut dress on.

4.  OK, I’m done screwing around this time.  I promise…..

This goes out to Florida State who almost followed up on their win over Miami with loss against Troy.  Down 17-10 in the fourth quarter, Florida State had to rally to win 24-17.  Had Troy pulled the upset it would have been the biggest shocker since Brian Worth improbably advanced to the Final two on “Average Joe 2” and came within a hair of scoring Larissa Meek (an absolutely raging hottie).

(On a sidenote, people forget about how utterly incredible Brian Worth’s run on “Average Joe 2” was.  He went from basically never having touched a girl to making out with a supermodel.  Toss in that he seemed like a genuinely nice guy and it was just a stirring month of television.)

5.  If it’s any consolation, you sirs definitely have a set of balls.

To Air Force for going for two and trying to win the game against Tennessee in regulation.  I love the call even though it failed.  

Categories
Boxing

Odds and Ends: Mike Tyson is sad


We guess it’s not really news that Mike Tyson is a sad freak show but this latest story is just another reminder of how far he’s fallen (and how much of a crook Don King is). Tyson was reduced to “training” in a makeshift ring next to the slot machines at the Aladdin hotel just to make a buck. Would anyone really be surprised if they woke up to find out that Mike Tyson had killed himself? It seems that’s the way his life is heading.

In other news…

[Sports Collectors Daily]: Flea market find: Old Ruth piece has air of mystery

[SI]: Why college football is better than the NFL

[NFL.com]: Vinatieri might have a broken bone in his ankle

[Yahoo]: 26% of Baseball Fans Think Yankees will Win 2006 World Series

[Webpronews]: Can MySpace Save Boxing?

[Indy Star]: Indianapolis aims to host 2011 Super Bowl

Categories
College Football

Auburn football players have easy classes

From the ‘obvious’ file comes the New York Times feature article today about how easy Auburn football players have it. College athletes get preferential treatment and don’t have to study? That’s about as shocking as Gary Glitter being a pedophile.

According to the NY Times, a lot of student-athletes took classes with a sociology professor named Thomas Petee called directed-studies classes which required no attendance and very little work yet always resulted in high grades. (How’s that different from any other class at Auburn?)

One of the athletes, Cadillac Williams admitted that his whole spring semester of his senior year, he only took 2 classes and both were with Professor Petee. It seems the sociology department at Auburn is a “dumping ground for athletes”.


The Auburn football team appeared to be the biggest benefactor of Professor Petee’s directed-reading offerings.

The 18 football players received an average G.P.A. of 3.31 in the classes, according to statistics compiled by Professor Gundlach. In all of their other credit hours at Auburn, their average was 2.14

Naturally, the Auburn administration is in mock disbelief over these allegations and you know the NCAA is going nuts over it as well. They like to maintain the illusion that the football programs at any of the top schools are anything but cash cows. Listen, folks, we don’t really care about all this academic nonsense. We just want to know what the latest point spreads are going to be. If anything, their insistence that academics has anything to do with college football is the reason any of us would even be mildly upset about this report. This is like people saying they go to strip clubs for the food. Don’t patronize us and we’ll be fine.

Links:
[NY Times]: Top Grades and No Class Time for Auburn Players

Categories
College Football

Jim Bob Cooter suspended for DUI

Athlete DUIs are a dime a dozen these days. But this arrest gets special mention because the guy’s name is Jim Bob Cooter. Jim Bob was driving through Knoxville when he was spotted by the police rolling through a stop sign followed by crossing the center line and driving on the wrong side of the road.

After failing three field sobriety tests, he was charged with first offense DUI and taken to the police station. His breathalyzer came out at .19, more than double the Tennessee limit of .08.

Since Jim Bob is a backup QB, this really doesn’t affect the team at all… which is why Tennessee Coach Phillip Fulmer put his foot down and suspended Cooter for the season opener against Cal. In order to get back on the team, Jim Bob would need to undergo extensive alcohol evaluation and adhere to certain internal requirements. We assume some of those requirements are not to get shitfaced, don’t provide alcohol to minors, and don’t drive drunk.

Links:
[Tennessee.com]: Vols’ Cooter suspended after weekend arrest

Categories
College Football

Two ex-FSU players charged with robbing teammate



Jeff Rouse

There’s so many things wrong with this story. First, look at the photo to your left. Does that look like a man who would rob someone? Not particularly. Does that look like a man who if he were to rob someone, would leave a glove with his jersey number at the scene of the crime? Well… yes. In a world of dumb athletes, Fred Rouse might take this year’s top award.

But that’s not all. The person that Rouse robbed (along with fellow ex-teammate and Cincinnati 5th round draft pick A.J. Nicholson) was another teammate, Lorenzo Booker. Rouse and Nicholson stole approximately $1,700 worth of electronic equipment from the house. Rouse confessed to the crime and is charged with burglary of a dwelling, grand theft, and possession of ecstasy. He then sold out A.J. Nicholson faster than the Pistons are selling out Flip Saunders. An arrest warrant has been issued for Nicholson.

This isn’t the first time these two student-athletes have been in trouble. Nicholson previously pleaded to a DUI offense and Rouse was kicked off the FSU team in January for “conduct detrimental to the welfare of the football team”. FSU officials declined to comment but we believe robbing your teammates is detrimental to the welfare of the football team.


Links:

[ESPN]: Bengals pick Nicholson, Rouse charged in alleged theft

Categories
College Football

Reggie Bush’s family house paid for by marketing agent



Our house… in the middle of the
heat… our house

We are shocked, shocked! to discover that top college football athletes are given things for free by marketers and agents.

According to state of California records, the house is owned by Michael Michaels, who has ties to a sports marketing company. (When did “sports marketing company” have the same negative connotation as “the mafia”?) In the Spring of 2005, Reggie Bush’s mom, stepfather and brother moved into the $757,00 home. NCAA rules for violating statutes prohibiting student-athletes from accepting extra beneifts from sports agents or marketing companies could mean that the games where Bush appeared could be forfeited. There goes the entire 2005 Trojans season.

The plan was for Michaels to steer Bush toward a sports agent named David Caravantes and represent Bush’s marketing efforts. However, Bush signed with Mike Ornstein and Joel Segal recently so it looks like that was $750k down the drain and a whole lot of trouble for Michaels. Reminds us of the NFL Network commercial: ‘I want him representing me. That guy is money.’

The bottom line is that Reggie Bush will get his money this weekend and there will be absolutely no repercussions for him or his family. It’s good to be a Top 10 pick.

Links:

[Yahoo]: Yahoo! Sports report: Reggie Bush’s family home
[MSNBC]: Investigation won’t hurt Bush in draft
[Sign OnSanDiego]: Parents of Bush face questions about home