Oakland Raiders

Raiders fans are some douche bags, ya heard?

We all know that Raiders fans are a bunch of whackos that are one chromosome short of becoming full fledged human beings. So, it’s not really fair to put these mutants up against their rivals, 49ers fan, in a fist fight. Everyone knows that the brute physical strength would give those meatheads a decided advantage over the flower smelling hippies in San Francisco. What is fair, however, is to give Raider fan an opponent of equal mental capacity; like a 49er helmet for example.

First off, here’s a little insight from an outsiders perspective: you guys aren’t black! What’s with all the Ebonics? But that’s beside the point. We love how these guys think that a firecracker is just going to blow the helmet to smithereens. You gotta give these douches an “A” for effort though, but eventually even a Raider fan was able to figure out that no firecrackers, samurai sword, scooter, gun or blow darts can compete with a good ol’ fashioned smackin’ from a nine iron. Ya’ know what I mean, kid?

Keep an eye out for our favorite moment of dialogue when one of the dumbasses looks into the camera and says “I’ll shoot your motherfuckin’ ass with a blowdart, dawg.”


[]: Video: Why Raider Fans Shouldn’t Inbreed

MLB General

Jan 29 in Sports History: Inaugural Hall of Fame classes

In 1936: The first members of the Baseball Hall of Fame in Cooperstown, NY were named. The first class to be inducted was Babe Ruth, Ty Cobb, Walter Johnson, Christy Mathewson and Honus Wagner. While the term hall of fame was always used metaphorically, the Baseball Hall of Fame was the first of its kind in sports. Now, there’s a Bowling Hall of Fame (St. Louis), a Motorsports Hall of Fame (Talladega, AL), even a freaking Shuffleboard Hall of Fame (St. Petersburg, FL). Although, the selection process has been tweaked over the years, it still takes 75 percent of the vote from the Baseball Writers Association of America (BBWAA –  sounds more like a porn group on Myspace) to be enshrined.

In 1963: The first class of the Pro Football Hall of Fame was announced on the same day 27 years later. The list of inductees was much longer than baseball’s. It included Sammy Baugh, Jim Thorpe, Bronko Nagurski, Bert Bell, George Halas, Pete Henry, Cal Hubbard, George Preston Marshall, Johnny “Blood” McNally, Red Grange, Mel Hein, Ernie Nevers, Dutch Clark, Curly Lambeau, Don Hutson, Tim Mara and Joe Carr. Each member had to be inducted by a unanimous vote that year. The selection process has changed over the years, and the current voting only allows for three to six members to be enshrined every year.

In 1995: Another year, another NFC team destroying an AFC team in the Super Bowl (I’m telling you, it ruined my childhood). This time, Steve Young and the San Francisco 49ers did the honors by beating the 19-point underdog San Diego Chargers 49-26 (in one of the worst non-covers of all time). Young found Jerry Rice for a 44-yard touchdown on the game’s third play and went on to a record six touchdown passes. It was the eleventh straight win for the NFC, and the fifth Super Bowl in as many tries for San Francisco.

College Football

Nov 29 in Sports History: the first Army-Navy game

They didn’t even have photos!

In 1890: The first Army-Navy game was played at West Point, NY, with Navy winning 24-0. Considered by many as one of the greatest traditions in sports, it is annually played on the last weekend of the college football season and has been played at numerous sites, including the Polo Grounds, Yankee Stadium and even the Rose Bowl (in 1983). The last four (including this year) were played in Philadelphia. The most significant games of the rivalry were the 1944-45 matchups, when they were the top-ranked teams in the country (Army won both games). Navy has won the last four and holds a slight 50-49 edge with seven ties.

In 1992: New York Jets defensive tackle Dennis Byrd was paralyzed when he collided with a teammate attempting to make a tackle in a game against the Kansas City Chiefs. Byrd’s career was cut short after only four years in the NFL. He has since made a full recovery from the injury.

In 1987: Joe Montana set an NFL record when he completed 22 consecutive passes in a 38-24 victory over the Cleveland Browns at Candlestick Park. Montana, coming off an injury-plagued 1986 season, rebounded to lead the league in touchdown passes and a 102.1 rating in 1987. The completion record was tied this season by the Washington Redskins’ Mark Brunell. (We’ll give Joe Cool the props, however, as he shredded a very good Browns defense while Brunell did it to the Houston Texans, which should carry some type of asterisk.) Donovan McNabb once completed 24 straight passes, but that was over two games.

San Francisco 49ers

Kevan Barlow compares Nolan to Hitler

Kevan’s first Photoshop project

In a phone interview with the Contra Costa Times on Tuesday, Kevan Barlow ripped into Niners head coach Mike Nolan.

Nolan just doesn’t know what he’s doing. He’s a first-time head coach with too much power. He has too much power as a first-time head coach. He walks around with a chip on his shoulder, like he’s a dictator, like he’s Hitler. People are scared of him. If it ain’t Nolan’s way, it’s the highway.

Barlow accused Nolan of lying to him because a week before he was traded to the Jets, Nolan assured him that he would not be traded.

It was dirty. He had no respect for me or the organization. He doesn’t know about the 49ers way, and that’s too bad because even his dad (Dick) was coach of the 49ers. Bill Walsh set the standard there, and he ain’t living up to it.

Barlow said that about half the team feels the way he does. Ouch. It doesn’t sound like Nolan will be getting a Christmas card from Barlow this year.

[Contra Costa Times]: Barlow lashes out at Nolan
[Sportsline]: Jets’ Barlow apologizes to former coach Nolan for ‘Hitler’ remarks

New York Yankees

August 23 in Sports History: Ruth jacks em one last time

In 1942: While it is known that Babe Ruth hit his final three home runs in Pittsburgh’s Forbes Field, it wasn’t the last time he thrilled fans with a few long balls. Batting against fellow Hall of Famer and legendary pitcher Walter Johnson, Ruth hit two into the stands to thrill the Yankee Stadium crowd one more time. The at-bats were part of pre-game festivities for charity; and Ruth, Johnson and 69,000 fans helped contribute $80,000 for Army-Navy relief during the war. The Yankees and Senators then split a doubleheader.

In 2005 (on August 20): San Francisco 49er’s offensive lineman Thomas Herrion collapsed and died in the locker room following a preseason game in Denver against the Broncos. The 330-pound rookie from Utah was on the field for the 49ers final drive of the game (14 plays), and was administered oxygen immediately afterward. During a team prayer in the locker room, Herrion slumped over and was immediately given first-aid. He was pronounced dead three hours later. An autopsy later determined that the cause of death was heart disease. He was 23.

San Francisco 49ers

Odds and Ends (07.17.06): Didn’t Jerry Rice retire already?

We could’ve sworn that Jerry Rice retired last year when he finally figured out that he couldn’t play when he couldn’t even break into the lineup for the Denver Broncos. But now, Jerry says he wants to sign a one day contract to retire as a Niner. We think it’s always a classy move when a player of longstanding tradition goes back to the ball club he started with to retire. However, Jerry Rice should have retired as a Niner about 6 years ago before he tarnished his legacy. Of all modern football players hanging on to glory too long, Jerry Rice might have been the saddest of our generation.

In other news…

[BBC]: Wayne Rooney can only sleep with something sucking or blowing on

[Reuters]: Garnett is proselytizing in India

[Newsday]: Dallas Stars sign Eric Lindros

[Kukla’s Korner]: Hockey isn’t doing too well in LA

[Yahoo ]: Doctor who supplied several Panthers with steroids gets 1 year in jail