Categories
Pittsburgh Penguins

Penguins get a new $290M igloo



Our favorite penguins

Wow, our first NHL story in months that doesn’t involve any goons! (Well, except for Georges Laraque.) The Penguins have reached an agreement with the great state of Pennsylvania to to remain in Pittsburgh for the next 30 years.

The Penguins are responsible for $3.8M a year toward construction and another $400k towards capital improvements. The rest of the money will be provided by the state and the owner of the casino group that has been awarded the slot license for the Pittsburgh area. All in all it adds up to a $290M deal, which is better than the $276M arena in Kansas City. On top of that, Lemieux and company get to keep the team in Pittsburgh and not have to rename it the KC Barbeque Ribs or something.

Here’s some reaction from the blogosphere:

Hard Drive Life: “Growing up north of the Pittsburgh area, I’ve been hoping and praying that the Pens would be able to stay. Now, I can confidently go out and buy my Evgeni Malkin jersey and wear it with pride, and not worry that the team is taking flight.

In the words of ex-Pitt mayor Sophie Masloff: “`GUINS WIN!” Actually, all hockey fans do!”

James Mirtle: “I can’t say that I’m particularly surprised, as all along I found it incredibly hard to fathom a team with this much hockey talent, in a market with a recent history of championships and some star power in its ownership group would ever really leave.”

MY KC Penguins: Hmmm…. they might want to change their name to MY KC Predators

The Burgh Report: “This arena, while worth it, will cost us a fortune and we have our government officials to thank. Furthermore, though we have been spared the abject civic humiliation that would have followed losing the team to Kansas City, the mishandling of the arena matter has, nonetheless, seriously damaged the reputation of local government.” Yikes.

Links:

[Post-Gazette]: Arena deal keeps Penguins in Pittsburgh

Categories
General Sports

Stallone officially charged in Australia for HGH


This is old news but he officially was charged in Sydney yesterday for importing a banned substance. Authorities found vials of HGH in his luggage when he arrived for a press tour to promote Rocky Balboa. Then three days later found 48 vials of HGH in his hotel room, limo, and private jet.

Hubris or stupidity? If you’re busted with HGH at the airport and one of your cronies has already brought 48 vials into the country, perhaps you want to dispose of those vials (inject it into your ass at least) before the authorities get there.

The maximum penalty for importing HGH into Australia is $86,000 and a five year prison sentence. However, according to TMZ.com, Sly faces a $22,000 fine.

There is no truth to the rumor that when told about the fine, Stallone said, “$22k? It ain’t shit. What’s $22k to me? Next time I might shake my dick.”

Links:
[Steroid Nation]: Oh no, Rocky’s down: Stallone charged with importation of HGH ( PEDs; ‘steroids’) in Australia
[TMZ.com]: Stallone Charged with Importing Steroids Down Under

Categories
College Basketball

Odds and Ends: Pokey Chatman sold out by assistant coach


We know that a coach sleeping with his or her players is wrong (unless that player is Jennie Finch, in which case we say, bravo…) but did assistant coach Carla Berry really have to go all Judas on her? It wasn’t like Pokey was having sex with a current player. It was a former player. We’re talking former. Not current. Former! (Thank God for AI.)

According to ESPN, Berry is a longtime friend and colleague of Chatman’s and her motivation for alerting university officials was “unclear”. Chatman, meanwhile, is hiding out until this whole thing blows over and then she’ll get a fat contract from a program who just wants to win. Sex with players or not, Pokey delivered as a coach. Although her contract will be the first with a “no sex with players” clause.

In other news…

[Sports By Brooks]: U. OF WASHINGTON LOSES PRIDE FIGHT ON OWN WEBSITE

[Dallas Morning News]: T.O. didn’t bother to learn the playbook

[USA Today]: Who knew Hang Time could prepare Reggie Theus for the NCAAs?

[The Offside]: I really am a soccer player!

[WBRS]: Phil Simms in a skit with Geico Caveman TV Show (there’s just so many things wrong with this)

[HeraldNet]: How the hell did Shaun Alexander not get laid till he was 24?

[SoccerBlog.com]: Steve Nash’s soccer skills

Categories
College Basketball

2007 NCAA Tournament All-Names Team

Once again folks, it’s time for our journey back into the 3rd grade where we make fun of people’s names and secretly wish we had others. The tournament every year is filled with great names. This year we have a bunch of celebrities in Charles Bronson (Xavier), Chris Tucker (VA Tech) and Michael Knight (Albany and Knight Industries Two Thousand). Will any of this year’s All-Names Team be inducted into the God Shammgod Hall of Fame? Only time will tell.

1st Team
C: Idong Ibok, Michigan State: Sorry ladies, this isn’t the ipod attachment you were looking for.
F: Luc Richard Mbah a Moute, UCLA: Making his way up to 1st team this year with the coolest name in the NCAAs.
F: Taj Finger, Stanford: “…and Finger bangs the boards!”
G: Pierre Marie Altidor-Cespedes, Gonzaga: It’s tough to be named Marie in the tourney.
G: Mario “Superintendent” Chalmers, Kansas: The greatest pop culture nickname in tournament history.

2nd Team
C: Zach Peacock, Georgia Tech: Completely juvenile selection that we’re not touching with a ten foot pole or anything else for that matter.
F: Jason Love, Xavier: Is that his porn name?
F: Obie Nwadike, Central Conn State: Gotta love a name that reminds us of little Ron Howard but on a 6’4″ black guy
G: Max Paulhus Gosselin, Davidson: Didn’t he play Zack Morris on Saved by the Bell?
G: Matt Coward, VCU: That’s a tough last name come crunch time.

Honorable Mention: Octavious Spann, Georgetown; Thaddeus Young, Georgia Tech; Major Wingate, Tennessee; Rome Sanders, Florida A&M; Chamberlain Oguchi, Oregon; Alex Moosmann, Miami (Ohio).

Did we leave anyone out?

Categories
New York Islanders

Chris Simon gets an early tee time


The NHL slapped lowlife Chris Simon with a record 25 game suspension for his vicious stick shot to the face of Ryan Hollweg on Thursday. The Islanders will lose Simon for the final 15 regular season games and the postseason but the punishment will extend into next season should New York fail to compete in ten playoff games.

Simon moves past Boston’s Mary McSorley for the new low mark in hockey history, which isn’t an easy task considering that McSorley delivered a blindsided cheap shot with his stick to the head of Donald Brashear in 2000 that earned him a 23 game hiatus from the league. Commissioner Gary Bettman eventually extended the punishment to one year and McSorley hasn’t been seen in an NHL uniform since. Simon is lucky that he’s not facing criminal charges for his actions because off the ice that would be considered assault.

Maybe with the suspension finally being handed out ESPN will stop trying to make Barry Melrose look like a studious professor by constantly taping him in front of a library backdrop.

By the way, did Chris Simon really go to the “I don’t remember what happened” card that was most recently played by Albert Haynesworth? This is the new “if I might have offended anyone” cliche for athletes. Just pull a Edward Norton from Primal Fear and hope anyone believes you.
Links:
[Slam Sports]: NHL sticks Simon hard
[SC]: Chris Simon cheap shot video
[NY Islanders]: Statement from Chris Simon

Categories
Golf

The Fast and the Furious: PGA Drift


India’s first player on the PGA Tour, Arjun Atwal (Vijay Singh is Fijian…) is under investigation for a street race in Orlando that left the other driver dead. According to the Florida Highway Patrol, Atwal was racing John Noah Park when they lost control on a suburban road. Atwal’s car spun and came to a rest but Park’s car slammed into a tree.


Witnesses tell us they were engaged in a street race,” [Florida Trooper Kim] Miller said. “They estimated speeds at or about 100 miles per hour (160 k/ph). Park’s vehicle hit a tree and basically just shattered. Part of the axle was found in the tree. It was a very violent crash.

The PGA has no comment but we’ll see how they react to this incident. Aside from Fuzzy Zoeller’s fried chicken and watermelon comment, the PGA doesn’t usually have to deal with any controversy. We suspect that if Atwal is found guilty of anything, the PGA will drop him before the judge’s gavel comes down. This isn’t the NBA or the NFL. The corporate sponsors that make professional golf go round won’t stand for anything that might affect their brands. Of course, Atwal was driving a BMW and Park was driving a Mercedes so you know some sick marketing exec at BMW has already got a powerpoint deck ready to go.

Links:
[The Star]: PGA player investigated in fatal crash

Categories
Tennessee Titans

Pacman Jones almost gets Munsoned


Pacman Jones was involved in yet another off field incident over the weekend but in striking contrast to most of his encounters with the law, he didn’t get hauled away in handcuffs. In fact, it was Jones who was assaulted for once!

The confrontation happened inside of a Franklin, Tennessee bowling alley (Allen Iverson could have warned him about the perils of bowling alleys) when Clayton Smith whipped out his trusty red Swiss Army knife and “threatened to beat up Mr. Jones and to use the knife on him.” Nobody was hurt and Smith was arrested on charges of aggravated assault.

Just another day in the life of Mr. Jones who has been involved in at least ten separate incidents with police since being drafted; Jones’ attorneys, Worrick Robinson and Manny Arora, say Pacman has a tendency to be in the wrong place at the wrong time too often. “If he doesn’t commit to changing it, at some point it’s going to be too much,” Arora said. “It may already be there to some extent.” Really? Pacman at the wrong place at the wrong time? Next thing you’ll be telling us that there are lesbians in the WNBA!

Links:
[The Tennessean]: Police: Man threatened Pacman

Categories
College Basketball

Joakim Noah will not be on Dancing with the Stars

Step aside Mark Madsen, move over Bob Kraft; you are no longer the benchmarks for the most humiliating championship celebrations of all time. In fact, Joakim Noah might have set the bar to an unreachable height when he flailed about like a sugar starved eight-year-old who just slammed a Double Gulp Slurpee after the Gators knocked off Arkansas in the SEC title game. (We think that’s Noah, or maybe someone just let a retarded epileptic kid on the floor.)

Look, anybody would be happy to win their conference’s championship; it’s just that most wouldn’t celebrate by performing their best Beavis and Butt Head dance impression on national television during the post-game festivities.

Links:
[YouTube]: White People Should Not Dance

Categories
NBA General

Around the Rim: The Beautiful People And The Unsightly

1. Hollywood’s House of Horrors
To borrow a phrase from Tom Jackson; Kobe Bryant, Phil Jackson and all of the other Lakers got JACKED UP!! Dallas showed no mercy on Los Angeles as they defeated them by 36 points, 108-72, as Jack Nicholson, Tobey Maguire, Penny Marshall and Dyan Cannon all watched on. Kobe and crew had their worst offensive output of the season in the worst home loss in franchise history. The nastiest pounding the Lakers organization had ever received in Lalaland before last night was a 35 point spanking, 144-109, by the San Francisco Warriors on November 19, 1966.

But the Lakers shouldn’t let the loss get them too distraught since they can still claim a victory over the Mavs this season. That’s more than most teams can say. And they can also lay claim to the longest span of regular season home games without being defeated by 30 points or more. Sunday’s loss marked the end of that 1,521 game period that dated back to November 1969.

2. Late Bloomers
Everyone knows that the NBA’s hottest team is Dallas with 17 consecutive victories. And most know that San Antonio is also riding a double-digit win streak that has reached 12 straight. But a lot of people aren’t aware that two of the teams nipping on the heels of the league’s longest active win streak were on the verge of being in the Greg Oden/Kevin Durant sweepstakes just a few weeks ago. The Allen Iversonless 76ers are just four games away from grabbing the final playoff spot in the Eastern Conference after ripping off seven straight wins that included victories over the Suns, Lakers and Pacers. Right behind Philly is Miami who has won six in a row as an invigorated Shaquille O’Neal has carried the Heat since they lost Dwyane Wade to a dislocated shoulder in late February. Thanks to a 106-104 victory over the Wizards on Sunday Miami is only one game behind Washington for the Southeast Division lead which would guarantee them one of the top four spots in the East.

3. Run For The Border
It’s not too often that a coach gets pissed off when an opposing player misses a 3-pointer, but that’s exactly what happened at the end of yesterday’s game between Indiana and Cleveland. With the game firmly in the Cavs hands, 99-84, and the final buzzer buzzing, Sideshow Bob’s biggest fan, Anderson Varejao, launched a 26-foot trey that failed to fall but succeeded in drawing the evil eye from Pacer coach Rick Carlisle. But what sour puss Carlisle didn’t consider was that the last second heave was meant to bring happiness to thousands; not mount more humiliation on a few. See, the three would have put Cleveland over 100 points which would have given everyone in attendance a free chalupa from Taco Bell. Now, don’t you feel silly coach?

Sunday’s Player of the Day: T.J. Ford vs. Seattle 37 min, 25 pts (FG: 11-15, FT: 3-4), 4 reb, 13 ast, 3 stl

Monday’s Game to Watch: Houston (39-24) @ Phoenix (48-14) The All-Star power is off the charts in this contest as five of the league’s elite will make the start between the two clubs. The Suns come into this game with the second best record in the league and, like usual, are riding a nice winning streak; four in a row and nine of their last ten. But Houston is on a three game win streak of their own as Yao Ming is bouncing back into shape way ahead of schedule. Yesterday against the Magic, Yao looked like the dominant player he was before breaking his leg in November as he went off for 37 points, seven rebounds and four blocks in a 103-92 victory. Tracy McGrady didn’t disappoint as he put up 19 points and 10 assists in the game. Nevertheless, no team wants to make the trip to Phoenix for the backside of a back-to-back.

Buzzer Beater: After a weepy Ron Artest apologized to the world on Saturday for his latest random act of stupidity, he came out and played decent ball in his first game since being reinstated. But don’t let the sniffles and tears fool you, it’s only a matter of time before Artest’s name is back in the headlines for some dumb off court decision. Eric Musselman is just hoping to get through the remainder of the regular season and any playoff run that Sacramento might see before Ron-Ron loses his marbles again. It’s like Terrell Owens in Big D; you know he’s gonna screw the franchise eventually, so all you can hope to do is milk him for 150 yards and a pair of TD’s per game until he does.

Categories
New York Yankees

March 12 in Sports History: Birth of the Yankees


In 1903: Fans of the Boston baseball franchise began printing “Huck the Fighlanders” shirts, as the New York Highlanders were officially approved as members of the American League. The rivalry between the two was truly born a month later. According to the book “Emperors and Idiots” by Mike Vaccaro, a Highlanders player named Dave Fultz intentionally ran over Pilgrims pitcher George Winter while he was covering first base and promptly shouted, “Tell your pitcher to pitch, or get him the hell off the field!” Ironically, the Highlanders could never beat the Pilgrims, as they finished second to Boston in the AL in their first two seasons. The Highlanders then officially changed their name to the Yankees (which they had been unofficially called as for years) on this same date in 1913. One dumb trade seven years later and the Yankees became the benchmark of baseball greatness. Then, on this same date in 2003, they launched their own YES Network, which became available to 3 million more fans who were unable to watch them on televison. (baseball almanac)

In 1987: David Robinson of the US Naval Academy scored 50 points in his final collegiate game, a loss to Michigan. The Admiral won the Naismith award that year as college basketball’s top player and was a consensus All-American (a little redundant, but it’s my favorite sports term). He was drafted number one overall by the San Antonio Spurs, although he didn’t join them until 1989 due to his miltary obligations.