New York Islanders

Chris Simon gets an early tee time

The NHL slapped lowlife Chris Simon with a record 25 game suspension for his vicious stick shot to the face of Ryan Hollweg on Thursday. The Islanders will lose Simon for the final 15 regular season games and the postseason but the punishment will extend into next season should New York fail to compete in ten playoff games.

Simon moves past Boston’s Mary McSorley for the new low mark in hockey history, which isn’t an easy task considering that McSorley delivered a blindsided cheap shot with his stick to the head of Donald Brashear in 2000 that earned him a 23 game hiatus from the league. Commissioner Gary Bettman eventually extended the punishment to one year and McSorley hasn’t been seen in an NHL uniform since. Simon is lucky that he’s not facing criminal charges for his actions because off the ice that would be considered assault.

Maybe with the suspension finally being handed out ESPN will stop trying to make Barry Melrose look like a studious professor by constantly taping him in front of a library backdrop.

By the way, did Chris Simon really go to the “I don’t remember what happened” card that was most recently played by Albert Haynesworth? This is the new “if I might have offended anyone” cliche for athletes. Just pull a Edward Norton from Primal Fear and hope anyone believes you.
[Slam Sports]: NHL sticks Simon hard
[SC]: Chris Simon cheap shot video
[NY Islanders]: Statement from Chris Simon

By Vin

Vin is a Philly boy who shouldn't be invited into your house because he'll judge you on your book and music collection. He owns Dawkins, Utley, Iverson, and Lindros jerseys, which is all you really need to know about him. He can be reached at [email protected].

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