Once again folks, it’s time for our journey back into the 3rd grade where we make fun of people’s names and secretly wish we had others. The tournament every year is filled with great names. This year we have a bunch of celebrities in Charles Bronson (Xavier), Chris Tucker (VA Tech) and Michael Knight (Albany and Knight Industries Two Thousand). Will any of this year’s All-Names Team be inducted into the God Shammgod Hall of Fame? Only time will tell.
1st Team
C: Idong Ibok, Michigan State: Sorry ladies, this isn’t the ipod attachment you were looking for.
F: Luc Richard Mbah a Moute, UCLA: Making his way up to 1st team this year with the coolest name in the NCAAs.
F: Taj Finger, Stanford: “…and Finger bangs the boards!”
G: Pierre Marie Altidor-Cespedes, Gonzaga: It’s tough to be named Marie in the tourney.
G: Mario “Superintendent” Chalmers, Kansas: The greatest pop culture nickname in tournament history.
2nd Team
C: Zach Peacock, Georgia Tech: Completely juvenile selection that we’re not touching with a ten foot pole or anything else for that matter.
F: Jason Love, Xavier: Is that his porn name?
F: Obie Nwadike, Central Conn State: Gotta love a name that reminds us of little Ron Howard but on a 6’4″ black guy
G: Max Paulhus Gosselin, Davidson: Didn’t he play Zack Morris on Saved by the Bell?
G: Matt Coward, VCU: That’s a tough last name come crunch time.
Honorable Mention: Octavious Spann, Georgetown; Thaddeus Young, Georgia Tech; Major Wingate, Tennessee; Rome Sanders, Florida A&M; Chamberlain Oguchi, Oregon; Alex Moosmann, Miami (Ohio).
Did we leave anyone out?
