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NFL General

Super Bowl XLI Live Blog – 2nd Quarter


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0:02 Lovie Smith just earned a nice bonus from the CBS marketing team for calling that timeout to freeze Adam Vinatieri. And it apparently works cause Vinatieri misses barely left. Unlucky FG try #13. And that will end a wild and wet first half. See you on the flip side.

It only took an hour and a half for Lays, Tostitos and Doritos to remind us that Tony Dungy and Lovie Smith are black. Always good when corporations take advantage of “celebrating” race to promote their products.

1:18 Forget what I said about not as much action in the 2nd quarter as in the first. Now Rex Grossman fumbles it right back to the Colts. This is officially the most bizarre Super Bowl ever.

2:00 The Colts probably don’t want to go to halftime since they’re in such a good rhythm. It feels like this quarter is faster but maybe that’s because there haven’t been as much action. If the Colts pick up this first down, expect Manning to take em all the way to the endzone… unless…uh… Fletcher fumbles the ball.

Connectile dysfunction – I hate when that happens.

I’ve already immediately forgotten this heart healthy commercial and I know it’s a good cause and it’s probably a good time to remind people that they can’t gorge themselves on wings and ribs and nachos and pizza and expect their tickers to hold up… but… this is the Super Bowl and we’re all partying. Why harsh our mellow?

6:15 Where is the vaunted Bears defense? Even in these sloppy conditions, the Colts seem to be able to move at will. Rhodes crashes into the endzone and the Colts take the lead. Time to see what Rex Grossman’s got. Will Lovie Smith trust him in the rain or will there be a heavy dose of Thomas Jones now that Cedric Benson is dinged up and questionable for his return.

Careerbuilder continues their string of good commercials with everyone falling off the cliff like lemmings. Meanwhile, this Doritos commercial is horrible. No one wants to see ugly people in commercials. No one. CBS is saying screw youtube and will post all the commercials on their site after the game.

11:38 Indianapolis settles for the FG and they are now down 9-14. By the way that last sentence was typed before Adam actually kicked the ball. He’s that automatic.

The Super Bowl is so dominated by beer commercials that it’s hard to remember whether it was for Budweiser, Miller or another beer. I think that’s called noise.

15:00 After that wild first quarter, you kinda expect things to settle down a little bit. Colts are threatening quickly though.

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NFL General

Super Bowl XLI Live Blog – 1st Quarter


[Newest comments will appear on top.]

0:00 Thank God the first quarter is over. Time to take a breather before we start the 2nd Quarter live blog.

3:05 Cedric Benson fumbles the ball on a Bob Sanders hit. This has to be a record of turnovers in a first quarter of a Super Bowl.

Wow… this Chevy commercial where different people sing a bunch of songs should be shot so we can be put out of our misery. Oh and Carlos Mencia, Paul Rodriguez called, he wants his jokes back.

4:34 Bears score as Sexy Rexy hits Mushin Muhammad for a TD. Well, this first quarter is certainly living up to the hype. It’s completely in an unexpected fashion but there hasn’t been a lack of action in this one.

6:43 Colts get a huge break as the Bears fumble on the kickoff…. and before I can even finish typing, Joseph Addai fumbles it right back to the Bears.

6:50 So much for that wet and windy conditions affecting the passing game. Peyton was almost sacked and still completed a 53 yard TD to wide open Reggie Wayne.

But…apparently the wet and windy conditions do affect the kicking game as the Colts botch the extra point. This might not affect the outcome of the game but gamblers are pissed.


Fedex commercial on the moon was weak. Not nearly as good as the Fedex prehistoric ad that was so great. Bud Light auction wedding was great though.

9:19 Thomas Jones and Cedric Benson are the bigger names but Joseph Addai might end up being the MVP if the Colts win this. It wouldn’t be the first time. Antowain Smith outplayed Marshall Faulk, Michael Pittman outplayed Charlie Garner…

Salesgenie.com officially gets the “Biggest Waste of Money” award for that piece of crap of a commercial. That was something you could see on TV at 3am in the morning. How did they just spend over $2M on airing that?

13:13 Third time’s the charm as Peyton gets intercepted after three attempts to do so.

So far the commercials are lame. Throwing a cell phone at someone as an “anti-theft device” is funny. Throwing a rock to get a beer isn’t.

15:00 Here we go folks… and in 12 seconds the Bears take the lead on a Hester kickoff return for a TD. Wow.

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NFL General

Odds and Ends: The NFL is serious about those copyright laws


Fall Creek Baptist Church in Indianapolis wants to throw a Super Bowl The Big Game Party for members and guests but the NFL has put the kibosh on the event because it would violate copyright laws. The church planned on showing the game on a 12 foot screen but the law says it can only show it on one TV no bigger than 55 inches. While it clearly states in the U.S. constitution the separation of Church and NFL, this is insane. You can watch NFL broadcasts online via a bunch of TV over IP applications (if you know where to look) but a group of churchgoers can’t gather to watch the Super Bowl? NFL lawyers will have a special express line for hell. (Thanks to Can’t Stop the Bleeding for the photo and their excellent headline: “NFL to Christ: Fuck off”.)

In other news…

[Newsday]: Dolphins lose a home game, Giants benefit again

[MSNBC]: Super Bowl Myths

[KETV Omaha]: The wrestler who started the herpes outbreak in Minnesota is from Nebraska

[Sports By Brooks]: Which Super Bowl Champion t-shirt will some third world country get?

[ESPN]: What’s this? A feel good story from ESPN?

[Sportsline]: 50 types of annoying people at your Super Bowl party

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NFL General

Sarah Spain picks her lucky date


By now you’ve probably heard about Sarah Spain, the girl who tried to sell herself on eBay for Super Bowl tickets because she’s a huge Bears fan. (We never got around to blogging this story because, well, we couldn’t get past the picture part of it, but for you dear readers, we fought through…) Anyway, instead of having to actually do anything for Super Bowl tickets, she wound up with 4 tickets to the game courtesy of Axe Body Spray (what tons of high school guys will look back on as their generation’s version of Drakkar Noir) and had an extra ticket so she decided to run a contest to take one lucky guy. Well that lucky guy is some medical student named Alan Shahtaji.

You can check out Sarah’s posting on her myspace page about why she picked the guy but we think it was probably the photo of him as a kid pretending to be a Bear. Chicks love that stuff. Anyway, we think the guy over at With Leather should have won even if he isn’t a Bears fan — mainly because of his application essay. We suspect that if Matt from With Leather had his way, any googling of “Alan Shahtaji” would come up with “has herpes”.

By the way, we could have posted a photo of this Alan guy but… why?

Links:
[With Leather]: SARAH SPAIN IS A GIGANTIC TEASE, PART 1
[LAist]: Interview with Sarah Spain

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NFL General

So how long have you been a black quarterback?


Butch John is his name (we’d hate to know what his porn name is) and he was a reporter for the Jackson Clarion-Ledger. According to sports lore, he was the guy who asked Doug Williams, “So, Doug, how long have you been a black quarterback?” Except, well, he didn’t.

According to John, he actually said, “Doug, it’s obvious you’ve been a black quarterback all your life. When did it start to matter?'” Doug Williams mishead him and replied, “What? How long have I been a black quarterback?” and the rest is history. The problem is that a ridiculous question is so much funnier than a thoughtfully posed question so it’s unlikely that the truth will ever spread the way the story of the stupid question spread. It’s like when an athlete gets arrested and it makes the front page but when that athlete is exonerated, it’s a small blurb on page 10.

So here we are doing our part to set the record straight. When people google “how long have you been a black quarterback”, hopefully they’ll read the truth of the statement. Or they can just keep making fun of it like we did on Poor Man’s PTI last week. Sadly the latter is more likely.

Links:

[Orlando Sentinel]: Dumbest question was never asked

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NFL General

Kevin Federline’s Super Bowl commercial

We have a love/hate relationship with commercials and nowhere is that relationship tested more than the Super Bowl. People who don’t even like football watch the SB “for the commercials” which is really odd in itself… Anyway, here’s the first commercial from the Super Bowl that everyone will be talking about. This year’s Nationwide Insurance entry is a new commercial from their “Life comes at you fast” campaign. Last year it was the lame Fabio commercial that wasn’t funny. This year, we have Kevin Federline making fun of himself. It’s actually hilarious and therefore miraculously makes K-Fed less of a douche.

(via Awful Announcing)

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NFL General

How to please your man on Super Bowl Sunday

We stumbled upon this little press release today. And while we can’t actually disagree with any of it, we’d like to simplify it into two steps.

1. Give him oral.
2. Leave.

That’s it. Don’t pretend to want to watch the game. Don’t pretend you want to learn about something so “important in his life”. Prepare the food, oral, leave. This applies to every football Sunday but is even more important for the big game. Unless you were a bonafide football fanatic before you met him, just leave.

Here’s a tip ladies: guys might say they think a girl who loves football is awesome but they don’t really mean it. They just think if you actually liked football, you wouldn’t nag him all the time when he’s watching football with his buddies. Given the choice between not being able to watch football on Sundays and having to watch it with you, of course he’d rather watch it with you. But if he had his druthers, he’d prefer to watch it alone or with his buddies. You get about 344 days out of the year, is it so much to just leave him be for 17 weeks of regular season and 4 weeks of playoffs? That is the best advice we can give you. As the esteemed poet Nikki Sixx wrote, Girl, don’t go away mad…just go away.

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NFL General

The reports of Terry Bradshaw’s demise greatly exaggerated



I’m alive dammit!

We kinda like ProFootballTalk.com but they really screwed the pooch this time. On Thursday, they ran a story with the headline “Terry Bradshaw Dead?” which said, “We’re picking up some unconfirmed reports from diverse sources that… Terry Bradshaw died in a car accident on Thursday.”

Listen, PFT, just because you put a question mark in the headline and say it’s from “unconfirmed sources” doesn’t mean it’s any less irresponsible. PFT makes a good living making up shit… er… reporting on rumors… but you can’t post a rumor that someone is dead. (For the record, Terry Bradshaw isn’t dead, he’s just on vacation.)

One possible source of the rumors is that a TV station in Louisiana reported an accident on the Terry Bradshaw Passway and it was interpreted as Terry Bradshaw passed away. How about a little fact checking? And people wonder why traditional journalists hate bloggers.

By the way, the guy who publishes PFT ran a post where he actually ends up blasting traditional journalists for blasting him cause he screwed up. Now that, friends, is chutzpah… or self-delusion.

Links:
[Philly Daily News]: Blogged to Death

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NFL General

Coors Light tells us what we already know



Tough choice

According to a survey sponsored by Coors Light, 44% of men spend more time on Super Bowl plans than Valentine’s Day plans. Seems reasonable. One you actually enjoy and the other is forced upon you by Hallmark. Here are some other highlights of this survey.

  • 30% would rather their team win the Superbowl than win a date with a supermodel, win a year’s supply of beer or win their fantasy football league for three years in a row. Who the hell needs a year’s supply of beer when you can have bragging rights for years to come when your team wins a Super Bowl? Although the date would the supermodel would be a toss up. She’d have to be really hot though.
  • 83% root for the underdog if their team isn’t in the Super Bowl. We root for the refs not to screw everything up.
  • Football fans rarely get off the couch during the game and when they do it is only to use the restroom (67 percent), get something to eat (55 percent) or get an ice cold beer (35 percent). Well, if you had this Lazy Boy Chair with fridge, you could totally cut down on down time. More if you buy some Depends.
  • 89% of men wish their wives would just shut the hell up during the game. OK, we made this up but we bet you it’s close to true.

Links:
[Business Wire]: New Survey Reveals Men’s Super Bowl Rituals

[Ben Maller]: Survey: Super Bowl bigger than Valentines day for men

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NFL General

Another internet lesson

Yesterday, we showed you video of some dorky kid doing a variety of dunks on his basement nerf hoop set. Today, we bring you another lesson from the internet. Never call a game too early. While it probably happens all the time, rarely does it happen on something like Digg where people can keep surfacing it and reminding you what kind of idiot you are.

From Digg:

Patriots are going to the superbowl!! Peyton Cries – Brady dances midfield

Yea – it is currently 7:47pm and I’m calling it now – Patriots are winning 21-3 and Peyton is crying on the field already after not one but TWO sacks! Patriots are going to the superbowl!!!!

eyeaml337 submitted 2 days ago in American & Canadian

Go ahead and digg the story.