Tag: video

Categories
Cincinnati Bengals

Someone might want to check Chad Johnson for horse steroids

So, if you had to guess, which NFL player would you say is crazy enough to race a friggin’ horse? Give up? Well, we all know that Ray Buchanan would probably guess it would be Shannon Sharpe but Sharpe doesn’t have the stones to go one-on-one with a stallion. You gotta be a batshit, fruit-loopy, Man-Ram type nutjob to go “man vs. beast” with a horse. So, Chad Johnson is naturally a perfect fit.

Ocho-Cinco will be taking on Restore the Roar on June 9 at the River Downs racetrack in Cincinnati, Ohio in order to raise money for Feed the Children. We can’t knock the guy for doing something to benefit a worthwhile charity but we have a feeling that he’d be trying to outrun the animals during a trip to an African wildlife safari. But regardless of motives, any way you slice it, this will be another entertaining adventure brought to you by Mr. Johnson.

While we’re not experts in the art of man vs. beast, we feel pretty comfortable in saying that the safe money is on the horse because we’ve seen the old FOX show where that track dude got smoked by a zebra and then had the balls to accuse “Zippity” of cheating.

We suggest that Chad calls off the race against Restore the Roar altogether and tries to race a giraffe instead. Maybe Carl Lewis can work the sidelines of that event as well.

Links:

[ESPN]: Man vs. horse in benefit race at River Downs

Categories
Soccer

Soccer guy doubles as on-field security

We don’t know much about soccer. The extent of our knowledge basically involves that we know the sport is called football everywhere else in the world. But we do know what we like and we like when athletes throw the smack down on fans who take to the field; even when those athletes are soccer players. So, here’s a clip of some soccer guy delivering a flying knee that would make James Irvin proud to an idiot fan as he runs around like a chicken with its head chopped off.

If you’re interested in actual names and teams then you should go visit our friends at The Offside. We’re just into “football” for the side dishes of violence, not the athletic competition.

Links:

[The Offside]: A Flying Dropkick is one way to Stop a Pitch Invasion

Categories
Olympics

Some moments in international competition should never die

If you’re anything like us then you can’t wait until the pageantry and spectacle that is the 2008 Beijing Summer Olympics kicks off on August 8, 2008. So, what the hell are you supposed to do for the next 14 months and change until the opening ceremonies? Well, we can’t entertain you for that long, but we can help you kill the next five minutes by showing you highlights from the 2003 Trojan Games in Bucharest. So, enjoy these clips of the world’s greatest athletes as you relive some of the most incredible displays of agility and grace that sport has ever seen. (Videos are NSFW)

Judo Semifinal

Weightlifting and Precision Vaulting clips after the jump.

Continue reading “Some moments in international competition should never die”

Categories
All Other Sports

Countdown to UFC 71: Terry Martin vs. Ivan Salaverry

You might not recognize the name Terry Martin right off the bat, but you are probably familiar with some of his work. Like this performance, for example:

To say that Martin has struggled in the UFC would be an understatement but the guy does have an overall record of 17-2. Unfortunately, those two losses came on the biggest MMA stage in the world and neither of them were what you would consider to be pretty losses. But the guy did deliver a TKO to Jorge Rivera in 14 seconds at UFC 67. However, while Martin is blessed with some fierce fists that are as heavy as bricks, he lacks the all-around talent that is crucial for UFC success. That’s exactly what makes his match-up against the well rounded veteran Ivan Salaverry so interesting.

Salaverry has an overall record of 12-4-1 but his UFC career has been up and down, which means this could be one of the last opportunities for an aging Salaverry (36) to move up in the middleweight ranks. Throw in a little smack from Martin during a recent Q&A and we have all the makings of a great brawl.

Q: Thoughts on upcoming opponent, Ivan Salaverry?

A: I’m gonna knock `Billie Jean’ out.

Q: Why is Billie Jean his nickname?

A: Because I looked at him fight and he dances around the ring.

Prediction: Martin wins by KO

Links:

[UFC.com]: UFC 71: Liddell vs. Jackson

Categories
NBA General

Why is Jon Barry behind a mic again?

We’ve been laughing at Jon Barry since Tuesday night for his stupid comments after the draft lottery and now we have the proof that Barry is a complete idiot. You have to be patient but at the end of the clip (4:35 mark) Barry actually says that Portland should trade away their number one pick for some veteran help after they won the rights to Greg Oden or Kevin Durant by turning chicken s*** (5.3% chance of winning) into chicken salad. Barry should be fired for simply thinking that the Blazers should get rid of one of the brightest talents to come into the league since LeBron James, whether it’s Oden or Durant. But then again, Barry had already humiliated himself once that night by guaranteeing that the Celtics would win the lottery so, why not make it a double dip.

Looks like Jon is attempting to make his broadcasting fame by going for the outlandish comment approach made famous by his ESPN colleague Bill Walton. So, we’re gonna guess that Barry was totally behind the Blazers’ Sam Bowie pick in 1984 as well.

Links:

[Blazers Blog]: You so crazy Jon Barry!

Categories
All Other Sports

Countdown to UFC 71: Josh Burkman vs. Karo Parisyan

Josh Burkman is an up-n-comer in the welterweight division but he is going to have his hands full with UFC veteran Karo “The Heat” Parisyan. With a 24-4-0 record under his belt, Parisyan is one of the best fighters to never make it into the championship spotlight but with a victory on Saturday he could become the number one contender for Matt Serra’s belt. And you know that Parisyan is just dying to step back into the octagon with Serra again after he defeated the now champ, then chump by unanimous decision at UFC 53. With Diego Sanchez finally losing the first MMA fight of his career, Josh Koscheck is the only welterweight who could challenge for the title shot. But we’re getting way ahead of ourselves with all this title talk surrounding Parisyan because Burkman (or as he’s known on the streets: “The People’s Warrior”) is going to be looking to throw a monkey wrench into those plans; after all, he’s no greenhorn with an impressive 19-3 record to go along with some mad wrestling skills to combat Parisyan’s judo know-how. But in the end, we just can’t see Burkman putting out The Heat like white hot superstars Sanchez and Georges St. Pierre did in the past.

Prediction: Parisyan wins by decision

And if things don’t work out for Karo then we think we might have found an excellent rebound opponent in one Reggie Warren.

Prediction: Parisyan wins by KO

Links:

[UFC.com]: UFC 71: Liddell vs. Jackson

Categories
General Sports

Pros vs. Joes finally got interesting

Some sports fans have way too much free time on their hands, but we’re not complaining. After all, if it wasn’t for those losers then we wouldn’t be able to bring you hilarious clips like this. Today’s video of the day comes from Yardbarker who put together this awesome dream match-up between some of sports greatest athletes and your favorite animated real American heroes. That’s right; it’s “Pros Vs. G.I. Joes.”

Wonder no more what would happen if Gung-Ho tried to score a TD against Troy Polamalu or if Tracker can beat Ron Artest in a game of 21 because now we know. And knowing is half the battle.

Personally, we can’t get enough of that wacky Manny Ramirez! For some reason, Man-Ram going to bat in a Santa suit doesn’t seem all that farfetched.

Links:

[Yardbarker.com]: Pros vs. GI Joes

Categories
General Sports

Hey, sports dude! You might wanna check your shorts

This clip of Bob Kaser and Larry Figurski talking randomly without knowing they were on the air has been getting some love today in the blogosphere. When we first saw it, all we could think was “how embarrassing!” Those guys spent a good 30 seconds yapping away along with periods of staring blanking into the camera before they realized what idiots they had been. But then we got turned on to this clip of some sports anchor that got the giggles after ripping a huge fart on air! That’s when we realized that 30 seconds of nothing isn’t nearly as embarrassing as a two second stinker before the Seminoles’ package.

The actual toot steals the segment but we love the way the news anchor responds when the gassy sports guy throws it back over:

Put on your dancin’ shoes! We still have a lot more to go. The delight of it all.

Links:

[Deadspin.com]: Flatulence: In The Face Of Breaking Wind, You’ve Just Got To Soldier On

Categories
All Other Sports

Another fat guy thinks he’s a pro wrestler

We don’t usually bring you news from the world of pro wrestling; especially those crappy fringe promotions that are diluted with dreams of becoming the next WWE or TNA, but it’s hard to ignore a wrestler who is six feet tall and weight in at 600+ pounds. That’s right, we said over 600 pounds! That should make Rosie O’Donnell feel a little bit better about her girth.

Mike Stanco, oops, we mean Maximum Capacity has big dreams (could they be of any other variety?) of making it to the elite level in sports entertainment and he seems to think that his fat gut and saggy titties are just the gimmick to get his foot in the door. But if you’re one of those people who think that Jeff Gordon or Phil Helmuth are closer to being true “athletes” than greased up pro wrestlers, then this guy probably isn’t going to be the one to change you mind. Just listen to fat boy’s diet:

In one day, I know I’ve eaten more than 20,000 calories easy. I may have a McDonald’s meal where I’ll have four double cheeseburgers, two large fries and a 20-piece [McNuggets]. That’s about 4,000 calories. Then if you get a bag of chips and a thing of juice, that’s another 2,000.

Hey, at least he threw some juice in there. But regardless of his poor diet or lack of experience or lack of athletic ability or menial talent or…(should we go on?), Maximum Capacity seems to think that he’s the best big man to ever step through the ropes.

I’m not trying to be conceited, but I believe I’m the best big man this business has ever seen. Better than Yokozuna, Andre [the Giant], Big Show and all those guys. None of those guys are able to move the way I do inside the ring.

Here, you be the judge:

Personally, we think that those guys’ legacies are all pretty safe. But if Maximum Capacity keeps up his McDonald’s diet then he could challenge this tub of lard for the most disturbing story of poor health in the history of civilization.

Links:

[Sun-Sentinel.com]: His 600 pounds are weighing heavily on wrestler `Maximum Capacity’ Stanco
[MaxCapacity.com]: Maximum Capacity Home Page

Categories
San Antonio Spurs

Is Jesus rooting for the Spurs?

The Phoenix/San Antonio series is quickly becoming one of the most exciting match-ups in recent history and the two fan bases are slowly becoming more and more desperate to put a hurtin’ on the other. But, in reality, there is nothing that the faithful fans can do other than root, root, root for the home team. Or is there? The Sisters of Charity of the Incarnate Word in San Antonio think they might have a secret weapon lined up to help their boys beat those darn Suns. His name…God!

So, will the Lord will the Spurs to victory tonight? Or does he want to see a classic Game 7 back in Arizona like the rest of the nation? Guess we won’t find out until the Game 6 wraps up this evening, but we’re just glad that it sounds like God is going to forgive Robert Horry for his forearm shot to Steve Nash. It would have really sucked to be banned from heaven over a flagrant foul.

Links:

[WOAI.com]: Divine Team Spirit: Local Nuns Pray For The Spurs