Categories
NFL General

Happy day after Father’s Day!

We all only have one father; well, except for that chick on My Two Dads, but that’s beside the point. What we’re trying to say is that dads are special guys. And even though we not might be as close to the old man as we once were, it doesn’t mean that the heartwarming feelings aren’t still there. C’mon, who doesn’t cherish those childhood memories of shooting hoops or playing catch with pops? Those are the moments where the lifelong bonds between father and son are forged. And we aren’t the only ones who think so, Bill Parcells does too.

So to all you dads out there, just don’t forget that your kids are going to grow up before you know it. You only have a limited time to influence their lives before they’re going be up and outta the house. It is critical that you spend quality time each and every day with your kids doing things like playing sports. And not only do drills like the ones mentioned by Parcells instill qualities like coordination, timing and good old fashioned discipline, but if you put in the extra effort with your kids then you just might motivate them all the way to a pro sports career. Then you could finally retire and live off your boy’s millions for the rest of your life. That’s the only thing that’s going to make all those teenage speeding tickets, emergency room visits and angry calls from high school teachers worth it.

Categories
Chicago Cubs

Derrek Lee and Chris Young both swing and both miss

Were you let down by UFC’s latest disappointing pay-per-view? Well, if you were then maybe you should have saved that $40 you dished out for Rich Franklin vs. Yushin Okami and tuned into the Cubs vs. Padres game on Saturday to see the fight attempted fight between Derrek Lee and Chris Young.

There really wasn’t all that much action when it came to knuckles pounding skulls but it still lasted longer than the championship bout between Chuck Liddell and Quinton Jackson.

After Lee got hit by a Young pitch in the fourth inning, things got heated as Lee started swinging for the fences and we’re not talking about the long ball either. Both benches cleared during the fracas and by the time the pile of humanity was separated there were four ejections dished out, including Lee, Young, Padres pitcher Jake Peavy and Cubs hitting coach Gerald Perry.

And you thought that the Cubbies would only throw down with their teammates.

Links:

[KSDK.com]: Lee, Young Ejected After Padres, Cubs Fight

Categories
Soccer

That new Gatorade A.M. crap goes right through us too

We thought that Byron Houston’s little incident was going to be enough public exhibitionism for the day but then we were horrified to find out that Houston isn’t the only pervert with no shame to rear his ugly head today. Turns out that some whacky soccer guy (is there any other kind?) named DeMarcus Beasley had a few too many Capri Suns before the game and ended up taking a piss right on the sideline. But he was very subtle about it so that nobody could tell. Of course, we’re guessing that he didn’t know there was a camera focused in on him the entire time.

And unless Zydrunas Ilgauskas or Scot Pollard decides to relieve their frustrations of getting swept out of the finals by the Spurs by flashing pedestrians on the street, we’re not going to bring you anymore news about wieners for the rest of the day. Promise.

Links:

[Our Book of Scrap]: Hey, When You Gotta Go, You Gotta Go

Categories
Dallas Mavericks

Happy early birthday Dirk!

In case you didn’t know, Dirk Nowitzki will be turning 29 on Tuesday. So what do you get the guy who already has everything? Well, he doesn’t have everything; Dwyane Wade and Baron Davis kinda ruined his last couple of shots at grabbing some championship hardware, but other than that the guy is pretty well set. Life is good when you’re a kick-ass baller and your billionaire boss has a Texas sized crush on you.

Anyways, since we don’t have the funds to buy Dirk a decent b-day present this year, we’re just going to sign our name onto Amber’s card and pass it along to the big guy. After all, it’s the thought that counts, right?

Links:

[Our Book of Scrap]: Someone Really (And I Mean Really) Likes Dirk Nowitzki

Categories
All Other Sports

It’s time for a wicked shot to the funny bone

The Best Damn Sports Show Period isn’t worth a damn in our opinion. If you think the blowhards over at ESPN are obnoxious and annoying, just try to stomach 15 minutes with Chris Rose and his band of merry men. But we do have to give those losers credit when it is due; they have become the kings of the “Top 50” list. Usually, programs just butcher these kinds of things and leave you more pissed off than appreciative, but not at The Best Damn.

So, without further ado, we give to you the Top 50 Sports Bloopers. Don’t worry, we excluded all the footage of John Salley from the tape.

And considering that there is no No. 1 to cap off the list we thought that we might nominate one of these clips from this numbskull fisherman.

Categories
NBA General

This kid’s timing is perfect (video)

It’s not as funny as a cheerleader getting hit with a basketball but this video of a kid getting hit by an airball full court shot is still damn funny. We’re sure the kid is ok so we can laugh at him now. The timing is amazing. The player couldn’t replicate this shot if he tried.

Categories
Golf

Nut shots! Get your nut shots here!

We’re just like anyone else; we absolutely love when dudes get nailed in the package. And advertising agencies across the globe are really starting to cash in on this fact. The other day we showed you a Rolling Rock commercial in which an entire ballpark of crotches got smashed by one vindictive ball. We were more than satisfied to have that clip in our back pocket for whenever we got the itchin’ for a juvenile chuckle, but we’re really in heaven now that we’ve stumbled across this nut smashing good ad.

But as funny as those commercials are to us, nothing beats the real thing. You just can’t imitate the sudden rush of pain that comes with a real live racking. Especially when the racking is robotic!

Categories
All Other Sports

Robert Kubica’s F1 Montreal crash video

We’re convinced that the only reason people watch auto racing is for the crashes and the alcohol. So go grab yourself a glass of Jack and cozy up to this video. Pound the jack and watch the video. There, we just saved you 3 hours.

Categories
Cleveland Cavaliers

Why didn’t we see this guy on America’s Got Talent?

Being that we’re really cool sports bloggers and all, you won’t usually catch us talking about kiddie toys. No Lincoln Logs, Mr. Potato Head and his bucket of parts, Legos or Play-Doh, BUT we’re going to make an exception and lower our “Rad-O-Meter” a few notches and admit that this video of Etch A Sketch superstar George Vlosich slapping together a LeBron James masterpiece on the little red frustration device is totally awesome!

So, who’s gonna step up for the San Antonio fan base and display their completely ridiculous/amazing talent in the name of team spirit? Oh, wait, the Spurs already have a decided advantage when it comes to super sized support. But if anyone can create a realistic Lite-Brite depiction of Tony Parker and Eva Longoria, go ahead and let us know.

Links:

[Can’t Stop The Bleeding]: Slightly More Hardcore Than Naming Your Cat After Craig Ehlo

Categories
Cincinnati Bengals

Chad Johnson shuts us up

A while back we told Chad Johnson that he should reconsider racing a horse because we thought that he’d get smoked. Well, when you’re wrong, you’re wrong and this time we were wrong. Ocho-Cinco ended up being the one doing the smoking (no, not that kind of smoking) as he torched that colt like he torches, well, the Colts.

But what really surprised us was what Johnson said after the race as he called out Floyd Mayweather, Kobe Bryant, LeBron James and some NASCAR hillbilly to take him on in their respective professions. Listen, we all know that Johnson is a helluvan athlete but surely he’s bitten off more than his big mouth can chew this time. That stupid horse might have made us look stupid but there is no way CJ KO’s Mayweather or dunks on LBJ. Is there?