If you thought that head-butts were exclusive to WWE murdering psychopaths, idiotic foreign kids, Zinedine Zidane and tiny jockeys then you are sorely mistaken. Of course, you’re not as sore as Mike Fisher is after he took a few fists and a forehead to the face from the Hurricanes Scott Walker.
Nice technique. Walker must have been taking lessons from this guy.
Links:
[SLAM! Sports]: Canes’ head-butt `cheap’
[James Mirtle]: Walker’s headbutt
After having the Bill Belichick/Eric Mangini rivalry shoved down our throats for close to a week now and with no apparent end in sight until we witness another frigid handshake between the two following Sunday’s Pats/Jets showdown, we’re ready for some new blood. Make that some new bad blood.
On ESPN‘s Sunday NFL Countdown last, errr, Sunday, Keyshawn Johnson made a comment about how Bill Parcells is responsible for building the current 12-1 Cowboys squad and should the `Boys win the Super Bowl it would be because of the foundation laid by Parcells. Johnson also said that Owens needs to chill out on his old coach. Well, in case you’ve been under a rock for the past couple of years, Terrell Owens hates Bill Parcells. In fact, Terrell Owens hates even having his name associated with Bill Parcells. So, of course, as you would expect, T.O. fired back.
Oh yea, this has the potential to be a tit-for-tat for weeks to come as neither one of these loudmouths is going to let the other get the final word in. As T.O. would say, “Get your popcorn ready.”
Links:
[MSNBC]: T.O. blasts Keyshawn for Tuna comments
The big news today revolves around Bobby Petrino’s controversial, middle of the night, bolt from Atlanta to Arkansas. While we could talk about just how embarrassing it is for the coach to stab his former team in the back before the season even concluded, it is so much easier to let Petrino’s press conference pig call do the humiliating for us.
Oh, and coach, don’t let DeAngelo Hall see you doing that on the street. He’s not a big fan of yours at the moment.
C’mon, DeAngelo; it’s nothing personal. His heart just wasn’t in the pros. If you’re going to criticize him for anything it should be because he simply loves the college kids too much. The fact that Atlanta is currently swirling around the NFL toilet bowl with a 3-10 record while constantly living out the Michael Vick saga on a day-to-day basis had absolutely nothing to do with the jump.
The Spurs might be four-time NBA champions, just don’t expect them to act like four-time NBA champions. In today’s fast paced, `Johnny come lately’ world we live in, athletes never know when the endorsement deals are going to simply shrivel up and blow away. So when they’re there you gotta grab `em; even if it means dressing up like a cowboy and pushing milk to the masses.
Hey, it was either do the cowboy thing or don the beatnik outfits again. Good choice guys.
Links:
[The Big Lead]: Two Videos, One Post
If you thought that ESPN‘s stupid “Who’s Now” filler segments were a complete and utter waste of your time then hold on tight because the mothership is basically throwing three minutes of every SportsCenter telecast straight down the toilet. Introducing the totally useless ESPNU Championship Series.
Kirk Herbstreit: “We’re going to move USC into the next round to play LSU.”
Lee Corso: “Ohhhh, that’ll be a good one.”
Herbstreit: “That should be a very good game.”
Actually guys, it won’t be a good game because your system isn’t real!!!
Does America want a playoff? Hell yes! Is America going to be satisfied with a hypothetical scenario that could possibly allow for Hawaii to win a national championship as a play-in? Hell no!
People that tune into SportsCenter, those who still do, want analysis, recaps and even an occasional prediction. However, what they don’t want is to be treated like fools who are supposed to actually care if Lee Corso believes Kansas could be the sleeper of a fake playoff series!
Living with the horribly unfair BCS system is way better than trying to breakdown imaginary matchups for some imaginary title. Why don’t you guys make yourself useful and simulate the Orange Bowl on NCAA Football 07 so we know who to put our money on.
Those ESPN commercials with the assorted NBAers riding around in the Winnebago are quickly becoming our favorite ads on television. Sure, they get played a million times a day, but Jeff Van Gundy has some of the best comedic timing we’ve ever witnessed on the small screen. Check out the latest ad when JVG starts comparing Chauncey Billups to `a strong, contact-drawing tortoise that can get to the free throw line’.
What? You mean that wasn’t a commercial? Okay, that makes sense. We were wondering where Kevin Garnett and the RV were. Oh well; “Wha was? What was Bugs Bunny’s?” and “Yeah, but you can’t spoof…that fable” are still gold in our opinion.
Links:
[Awful Announcing]: Player Comparisons Are Fun
If you thought it took a pair of plums for Anthony Smith to awake an insomniatic giant then Jeb Corliss must have a couple cantaloupes in his trousers because he’s intent on jumping out of a helicopter without a parachute. Oh, and he plans to live to tell about it to.
Actually, Jeb isn’t alone in his insanity. A bunch of people are hoping to pull the stunt off. In fact, it has even engaged a bit of competition between nations to see who can engineer the technology fastest. As of now, the `technology’ in question consists of a suit that makes him look like a sugar glider and a $2-million-dollar, specially-constructed runway for landing. And the freefall, the brief period of time when Jeb begins regretting going chuteless, should look a little something like this:
Loïc Jean-Albert of France, better known as Flying Dude in a popular YouTube video, put it more bluntly: “You might do it well one time and try another time and crash and die.
Links:
[The New York Times]: Flying Humans, Hoping to Land With No Chute
See, we weren’t `taking a little dip into our Bolivian marching powder‘ when we brought you the news of a revamped American Gladiators. Just check out this completely overdramatic commercial for the premier of A.G.
“A mystical breed of warrior”?? Somehow we just don’t see mystical warriors sporting names like Malibu, Lace, Sunny, Bronco, Gold, Tower, Dallas, Sky, Laser or Zap.
We were completely shocked to come across a clip of Slamball this morning. After all, we figured that Spike TV would have destroyed all evidence of the “sport’s” existence. But, amazingly enough, the dumb trampolines and silly acrobatics weren’t the only dinosaurs that were unearthed. We know it’s hard to believe, but there has been an on-court Darius Miles sighting.
Okay, we’ve had our fill. Now can we avoid the double-fisted forehead bump for another three years or so?
Links:
[Can’t Stop The Bleeding]: Darius Miles Has Really Slipped Since “The Perfect Score”
You might not like the Patriots; hell, you might hate the Patriots. Hell, we hate the Patriots (that damn Tom Brady and his stunning good looks). But you have to be rooting for an undefeated season and clean sweep of the playoffs; even if it’s for no other reason than to simply shut Mercury Morris the heck up.
Oh, this guy isn’t living in the past. His beats are even ancient. We’re surprised his rap didn’t start off “I’m Mercury Morris and I’m here to say…“. Man we hope karma bites Morris right in the butt. Nothing would be sweeter than to see New England run the table AND Miami pull the ultimate 0-16 choke job. Hey, he’d always have ’72.
