Denver Nuggets

Carmelo Anthony is a drinking lightweight

When Carmelo Anthony was arrested a couple of weeks ago for DUI, he wasn’t just a little buzzed. No, Melo was tanked which isn’t surprising considering his team totally tanked the postseason. Turns out Anthony’s blood alcohol level was .148, according to CBS4 reporter Brian Maass. The legal limit in Colorado where the arrest occurred is .08. Carmelo claims that he only drank “two glasses of red wine,” but unless those “glasses” were actually pitchers of red wine then we think he’s full of crap. However, Carmelo’s attorney thinks the news about Carmelo is inconsequential because Carmelo apologized for Carmelo’s actions and the whole situation is now behind Carmelo. Carmelo. Carmelo. Carmelo.

We received notice that Carmelo’s blood test came back over the legal limit. This is old news in that Carmelo has admitted from the beginning that he had been drinking and driving and should not have been,” Anthony’s attorney, Dan Recht, said Responding to an inquiry from CBS4. “Carmelo has said he will take responsibility for his actions and he does. Carmelo continues to be deeply disappointed in himself, as (he) has said before. Carmelo’s actions that night were completely out of character and something he has never done before.”

According to attorneys and police officers, a first-time offender in Colorado will typically lose their driver’s license for at least three months when their blood alcohol level exceeds the legal limit for DUI.

Guess that means Anthony’s driving days in Denver could be over, both on and off the court.


[]: Anthony’s Blood Alcohol Nearly Twice Legal Limit


Iron Mike wants to hang with Vick and the Juice in the big house

Mike Tyson is facing a maximum of four years and three months in prison after pleading guilty to drug possession and driving under the influence following being stopped outside a nightclub last year. His sentencing is scheduled for November 19. Maybe he can save a seat in the yard for Michael Vick’s December arrival.

I had possession of cocaine, and I drove under the influence,” he told the judge, his voice barely audible.

Tyson pleaded guilty to a single felony count of cocaine possession and a misdemeanor DUI count. A felony charge of possession of drug paraphernalia and a second misdemeanor DUI charge were dropped, according to the terms of a plea agreement.

In case you’ve forgotten, Iron Mike got busted with bags of cocaine inside his car and pockets after spending an evening with the ladies of Scottsdale’s Pussycat Lounge. The cop said he saw Tyson wiping a white substance off his dash and that his lispy speech was slurred.

We still can’t get over the fact of how far and how fast this guy fell from grace. Tyson used to embody what being a bad ass is all about, unfortunately for every devastating knock out he delivered, we got twice as much imbecilic and criminal behavior in return. We can’t wait until we have to explain this nut to our kids one day.


[USA Today]: Mike Tyson pleads guilty to drug, DUI charges

Chicago Bears

Tank Johnson not legally drunk but still legally an idiot

It turns out that Tank Johnson’s blood alcohol level was only .072 last week which is below Arizona’s legal limit of .08. So Tank won’t be going to jail for DUI but he still was released by the Bears who were embarrassed by his legal troubles.

Now, before anyone (NFLPA) gets their panties in a bunch over the Bears cutting Johnson for something that’s not technically illegal, remember that this guy was about a month removed from jail and decided to drink and drive. If he’d gotten in the car 30 minutes earlier or if he hadn’t eaten 162 beef sticks, 40 honey buns, and 35 summer sausage blocks while in prison, he’d probably have pushed past the .08 level and be back in jail.

The Bears did the right thing by cutting him. Who knows when he’ll decide to pick up a few illegal firearms and cause further embarrassment to his team. He can now go and be the Raiders’ or the Cardinals’ problem.

[Yahoo]: Tank Johnson under legal limit in DUI arrest

Miami Heat

James Posey gets popped for DUI

Now I’ve got a pair of bracelets
to go with my ring.

So, how do you like to spend your Easter? Most people get dressed up and head to church; maybe have the family over for lunch, play some cards and so on. Well, Miami Heat forward James Posey might enjoy those same types of holiday activities, but it looks like he also likes to get plastered and talk to random people in the middle of the road.

Posey was arrested early this morning on charges of drunken driving when a Miami Beach police officer noticed Posey was stopped in the left lane and chatting it up with some passerby’s in another car. As if that wasn’t bad enough, when asked to produce his driver’s license, Posey made the drunken blunder of dropping the license as he handed it to the officer. Anyone who has ever done this knows exactly what comes after that; “Please step out of the car, sir.”

Once out of the car, Posey displayed “bloodshot eyes, slurred speech, and an odor of an alcoholic beverage on his breath,” the officer wrote in his report. The player also was unsteady on his feet and swayed while standing, the report said.

Turns out that Mr. Butter Finger’s ID wasn’t even valid, so he got charged with driving with a suspended license as well. Posey was booked into the Miami-Dade County clink but we figure that he’ll probably get bailed out pretty soon. After all, the guy is making $6.4 million this season.


[]: Heat forward James Posey charged with DUI

St. Louis Cardinals

Tony La Russa done in by that one last drink

Tony La Russa was arrested around midnight last night after failing a DUI test… just barely. The legal limit in Florida is .080 and La Russa registered at .093 on the breathalyzer. But stats aside, you know the real reason La Russa was busted for DUI? His car was stopped at an intersection but still in drive and he was asleep (and we imagine drooling) with his foot on the brake.

Not only did La Russa almost make it under the .08 limit, he was almost home. The intersection where he fell asleep was only half a mile from his house. A shot of Red Bull would have kept him going those extra 2 minutes and he would have avoided all this embarassment and bad publicity.

[STLToday]: La Russa arrested on drunk-driving charge

NFL General

Drunken Idiot Tight End

It’s always said that nothing good happens after 2:00 a.m. and here’s another case that backs up that point. Seattle tight end Jeremy Stevens was pulled over around 2:15 Tuesday morning in Scottsdale, Arizona for driving erratically. Stevens was apparently so drunk off “four or five margaritas” that he could barely stand while being issued a field sobriety test. (Sounds like somebody’s a lightweight) And if that doesn’t say guilty by itself, Stevens incriminated himself even further by refusing to take a breathalyzer test or give a blood sample. Like usual, the po-pos got what they wanted after obtaining a warrant. The cops also found a “leafy green substance” in one of Stevens’ pockets. We’re guessing its pot considering not too many people travel around with spare oregano in case of emergency cooking situations. Stevens was booked for DUI and possession of some leafy stuff.

This couldn’t have happened at a worse time for Stevens’ who is currently an unrestricted free agent. His run ins with the law and loud mouth would detour most team’s interest. However, if somebody is willing to gamble on a guy like T.O. then somebody will definitely take on Stevens. Hell, he’d even be considered a role model somewhere like Cincinnati or Tennessee.



Indianapolis Colts

Dominic Rhodes is still celebrating

Dominic Rhodes was arrested for DUI after he was pulled over for going 81 in a 55 mph zone at 3 a.m. on Interstate 65. The state trooper who pulled him over said that it was a run of the mill drunk driving arrest and that Rhodes was cooperative.

We think that they should have cut the guy a break. Hey it’s Dominic Rhodes! He should have at least been the co-MVP of the Super Bowl. He probably delivered more joy to the lives of people in Indiana than anyone else in the past 10 years. Perhaps a “Hey Dom, why don’t you pull over, jump into the backseat and sleep it off?” would have been sufficient. We’re not saying athletes should get special treatment. We’re just saying Super Bowl MVPs should.

[NBA Fanhouse]: Dominic Rhodes Arrested for Drunk Driving
[ESPN]: Colts running back Rhodes arrested for drunken driving

Detroit Lions

Lions coach charged with nude driving

These days, a coach getting arrested for drinking and driving is pretty commonplace. They should just start putting it at the bottom of boxscores. But Lions assistant coach Joe Cullen decided to raise the bar a little and got arrested on August 24 for “driving on the street without any clothese on. (NUDE).” Thank god the police officer clarified that one for us. Curiously, there was no citation for being drunk, just nude.

A week later, Cullen was arrested for DUI with a BAC of .12. Now, a .12 is just a regular night out for some folks and hardly drunk enough to go around driving naked so it’s possible Cullen was at Eddie Sutton levels of drunkeness when he was driving naked. But since the police officer didn’t charge him with drunk driving for that incident, we have to wonder if whether Cullen just likes driving in the nude, which is more offensive to us than a .12 BAC.

It seems Joe Cullen has a bit of an alcohol problem as he was arrested for public drunkeness in a restaurant in Mississippi in 2005 and was fired from Ole Miss.


[Detroit Free Press]: Lions assistant coach arrested for nude, drunken driving
[Detroit Lions Site]: No mention of Nude Driving as a hobby