Categories
Los Angeles Dodgers

Oct 16 in Sports History: Kirk Gibson’s heroics

In 1988: In one of the most amazing and downright surreal moments in baseball history, Dodgers’ manager Tommy Lasorda took “a roll of the dice’” (in the words of the great Vin Scully) and sent Kirk Gibson – who could barely walk – up to pinch hit in the bottom of the ninth inning and the Dodgers trailing the Oakland A’s 4-3 in the World Series opener. Dennis Eckersley, the most dominating closer of that era, took Gibson to a full count with a runner on second. After fouling off several pitches and barely able to hobble halfway to first, Gibson shocked everybody when he turned on an inside pitch and drove it deep into right field bleachers to win the game 5-4. Gibson limped around the bases, pumping his fist. He did not play again in the series, and the Dodgers used the momentum to bully the shell shocked A’s in five games. The red lights you see as the ball is going into the stands are a stream cars that left the game early , figuring the A’s had it won.

In 1969: The New York Mets, only seven years in the National League, shocked the sports world by defeating the Baltimore Orioles in Game 5 to win the World Series. The “Amazin‘s“, who set the record for futility just seven years ago with 120 losses in their inaugural season, turned it around behind the pitching of Tom Seaver, Jerry Koosman and a young Nolan Ryan, plus timely hitting and defense. Donn Clendenon, a Pittsburgh Pirates and Montreal Expos castoff, was the hero with the big homerun in the deciding game and was awarded MVP honors.

In 2003Just when Red Sox fans didn’t think it could get any worse, Grady Little decided against his better judgment and the screams of millions of Sox fans (and anybody who remotely followed baseball) that ace Pedro Martinez didn’t have enough left for one more hitter in the bottom of the eighth inning . Little left him in, Jorge Posada hit a double to tie the game at five apiece, and Aaron Boone eventually won it with a towering solo homerun to lead off the bottom of the 11th inning off Tim Wakefield, sending the New York Yankees to their 39th World Series.

Categories
Washington Wizards

Someone tell Gilbert Arenas that you can turn voicemail off


Gilbert Arenas has always been somewhat of an odd duck but a feature in the latest issue of Esquire might just confirm that he is actually batshit crazy.


When I get a new cell phone, first thing I do is turn it off and call from my house phone and leave stupid little messages to myself. Like: “It’s me.” “It’s me.” “This is Gilbert.” “It’s me.” “It’s Gilbert.” I just fill it up, so no one can leave messages. If you don’t, you leave for an hour and thirteen people have called. So there are thirteen new messages you have to listen to and it’s like, Oh, man. I don’t feel like hearing people’s stories. Most people love leaving messages that they don’t want to tell you in person. So I cut that off.

Here are some other notable stories about Gilbert:

  • He has an idea for a commercial where a kid in a wheelchair clotheslines a girl who catches his shoes
  • He bought a colon cleaner off an informercial
  • Lebron said to him prior to the free throws in last year’s playoffs, “If you miss this shot, you know who’s gonna hit the game winner.”
  • He can beat people by 200 points in NBA 2K6
  • He holds a grudge: he has a list of everyone drafted before him in 2001 and crosses people out when they’re no longer in the league

Links:
[Esquire]: The Pathology of Gilbert Arenas

Categories
Orlando Magic

Orlando Magic execs got jacked by political consultant


The Orlando Magic today confirmed that they paid $200,000 to Doug Guetzloe, a radio host and leader of Ax the Tax, a grass roots group that opposes tolls and tax increases for “consulting”. And by consulting, they mean hush money so that Guetzloe’s activists didn’t speak out against a campaign for a new arena.


If the Magic didn’t hire him as a consultant this year, [Magic COO Alex] Martins said, they feared someone else would pay him to attack the projects.

“We were told there was an offer by those in the small minority that opposed the venues to hire him if we did not. And we felt pressured to hire him because of that fact. In hindsight . . . it was an error in judgment on our part.

Orlando Magic fans must be thrilled to find out that their ticket dollars are being used to pay a guy to shut up so the Magic can get more tax dollars out of their pockets to build an arena and jack up ticket prices. We haven’t seen anything like this since Stringer Bell paid Clay Davis $250,000 to open the faucet. (Semi-obscure allusion that should be a lot less obscure.)

Links:
[Field of Schemes]: Magic paid hush money to activist
[Orland Sentinel]: Magic: We paid Guetzloe, too

Categories
Washington Redskins

Ethan Albright will be a household name


Do you know who Ethan Albright is? Neither did we until this hilarious mock letter from the folks at the Phat Phree, mostly known for their take on stripe-shirted douchebags. It’s a must read.


To: John Madden
CC: Electronic Arts Sports
From: Ethan Albright
Re: Being the worst rated player on Madden `07

Hi, John, my name is Ethan Albright. I play line for the Washington Redskins. You probably already knew that, so I’ll continue. I am writing in regards to the overall player rating of 53 that I have received in Madden NFL Football 2007. I feel that this is fucking bullshit and you should kiss my mother-fucking ass. Ahmed Carroll was rated a 78 and the Packers just cut his ass on a Tuesday morning after his performance in a Monday night game. That is pretty terrible. The worst part is that his overall rating was sniffing 80.

You know what, John? Two can play this game. I rate you a fucking 12. I rate you a fucking 12 in Ethan Albright Football 2000-ever… except for in the category of ball-licking. That is where I will spot you a 98 rating. You will receive this score because I will never give your blubbery ass a 99 in any category. Take that, pencil-dick. Go do Al Micheals or something. Boom. Score one for Red Beard.

Here’s the best part, because you would actually have to do some research to be able to come up with it:

John, you are such a fucking dick. I also noticed that my kick return rating was a 0. I was rated a fucking zero? So you feel that I shouldn’t even receive a 10, or even a 5? You are pretty much saying that I couldn’t even fall forward on a ball kicked in my direction. I would just stand there and let the ball bounce off of my fucking face. Fuck that, John, I returned an onside kick 6 yards in 2002. You should have just slapped a – 4 on me and had the EA staff ambush me with paintball guns.

Brilliant.

Links:
[The Phat Phree]: Ethan Albright Strikes Back

Categories
MLB General

Video of annoying Tennessee Vols fan

Yesterday, we told you about the lady who was told to tone it down because other UT fans complained about her cheering. In case you were wondering, “what’s the big deal?”, here’s video for you.

Categories
Pittsburgh Pirates

Oct 13 in Sports History: Pirates win the World Series


In 1960: In perhaps the greatest Game 7 in sports history, Pittsburgh Pirates second baseman Bill Mazeroski hit the first series-winning, bottom-of-the-ninth homerun in 57 World Series’ to defeat the heavily favored New York Yankees. With the score tied 9-9 at Pittsburgh’s Forbes Field, Mazeroski connected off a 1-0 Ralph Terry pitch and drove it over the left field fence to give the Pirates their first title since 1925. Overlooked was the fact that the Pirates spoiled a remarkable comeback by the Yankees in the top half of the inning. Trailing 9-7 after unknown Hal Smith’s three-run homer in the eighth, the Yankees rallied behind Mickey Mantle and Bobby Richardson to tie the game. Maz trumped them all with his famous blast in the ninth, and sent jubilant Pirates fans onto the field and into the streets of Pittsburgh in celebration. It was one of the most contrasting World Series’ ever, as the Yankees won their games by scores of 16-3, 10-0 and 12-0, while the Pirates won the closer ones, 6-4, 3-2, 5-2 and 10-9. According to baseball library.com, Game 7 was the only WS game in history in which no strikeouts were recorded by either team. Mazeroski, known more for his defense than his bat, was elected to the Hall of Fame in 2001.

In 1982 After 70 years, the International Olympic Committee posthumously restored the two gold medals Jim Thorpe had won in the 1912 Olympics in Stockholm, Sweden. Thorpe had easily won gold and set records in the pentathlon and decathlon. He was stripped of his medals, however, when the IOC discovered that the had been paid to play minor league baseball, which compromised his amateur status. Thorpe, a Native American, was widely considered the greatest athlete of his generation. Not only did he dominate the Olympics, but he also played professional baseball for the New York Giants, Boston Braves and Cincinnati Reds. He was an All-American running back in college, played pro football for the Canton Bulldogs and was even the first president of the National Football League. olympic.org

Categories
MLB General

Odds and Ends: It must be Thursday – Scoop Jackson plays the race card



“bad Nat X impersonation”

Scoop Jackson wrote an article today complaining (surprise, surprise) that there weren’t enough minorities in Sports Illustrated’s Oct 9th cover of baseball’s all time dream team. Of course, with every passing column, we are reminded about how accurate Jason Whitlock’s words were in an interview with The Big Lead.


…there’s a big dropoff from being associated with Ralph [Wiley], Hunter [S. Thompson] and Bill [Simmons] than being linked to someone doing a bad Nat X impersonation. It pissed me off that the dude tried to call himself the next Ralph Wiley and stated some [bleep] about carrying Ralph’s legacy. Ralph was one of my best friends. I hate to go all Lloyd Bentsen, but Scoop Jackson is no Ralph Wiley. Ralph was a grown-ass man who didn’t bojangle for anybody. Scoop is a clown. And the publishing of his fake ghetto posturing is an insult to black intelligence, and it interferes with intelligent discussion of important racial issues. Scoop showed up on the scene and all of a sudden I’m getting e-mails from readers connecting what I write to Scoop. And his stuff is being presented like grown folks should take it seriously. Please.

In other news…

[St. Petersburg Times]: Chris Simms turned down $10M in guaranteed money before this year… ooops

[Adfreak]: Make your own Cowboys cheerleader ad

[DC Sports Chick]: For the trashy chick you know

[Fox Sports]: Stephen Jackson booked and released

[Indy Star]: Police report from Stephen Jackson incident

[FloydLandis.com]: Floyd Landis defense is now online

Categories
College Football

She’s a screamer


Remember that crazy bitch screaming like a banshee before every free throw during the 2006 NCAA Men’s basketball tourney? We didn’t think anyone could top her but it turns out that there’s a University of Tennessee fan who cheers so loudly that even other UT fans are sick of her.

The Tennessee assistant athletic director for event management had to call Victoria Caldwell to tell her to tone it down because six people complained about her cheering at Vols games. Look, we can appreciate her enthusiam (sort of) but sometimes people need to just STFU. We’ve been at games before where stupid fans just keep yelling over and over. There’s a definite timing to making noise and perhaps when your offense is on the field before the snap isn’t one of them.

Caldwell says that, “God gave me these lungs and voice, and I’m going to use them. I’m a passionate fan.” However, some of the people sitting near her don’t feel the same.


There’s a difference in cheering for your team versus being obnoxious to everyone around you. She just yells the same thing over and over. It was funny at first, but an hour later I looked at her and tried to figure out how she was breathing between cheers.

Caldwell has decided she probably won’t go to any more UT games and will give up her ticket to her daughter who “doesn’t like loud places”. (Story via Sportsfilter)

Links:
[Knoxville News]: Maximum Volume

Categories
Dallas Cowboys

T.O.’s new childrens book


Terrell Owens is going to release a children’s book called “Little T Learns to Share” in November. This is perfect as who would understand kids better than someone with the emotional maturity of a 6 year old.

Sometimes real newspaper reports end up sounding like an Onion article and this is no different.


It’s about a a young boy learning the value of sharing.
Little T, the title character, refuses to share his football at first but later realizes he can’t enjoy his new ball without friends.

It’s the first book of T.O.’s Timeout Series. The second book, Little T Learns What Not to Say is due in spring 2007, and the third one, Little T Learns To Say I’m Sorry comes out fall 2007. The other topics haven’t been determined.

Here are some of our suggestions:

  • Little T Learns How to Spot a Rat
  • Every team starts with Little T
  • Little T has 25 million reasons to live
  • Little T isn’t pointing fingers but it’s the quarterback’s fault

Links:
[Dallas Morning News]: T.O. and kids? Book it

Categories
College Football

Wisconsin Band on double secret probation



We hope they didn’t violate Bucky

No one knows what exactly the Wisconsin Band did on their road trip to the Michigan game last month but it was enough to get them indefinite probation. Univesity of Wisconsin’s chancellor John Wiley called it behavior “that can be seen as anything from boorish and offensive to patently dangerous and unlawful.” Wiley also threatened to suspend the band’s travel activities and remove the director if he got any more reports of “gratuitous vulgarity, sexualized banter or joking, hazing, or other forms of demeaning conduct.” Sounds like a great time on that road trip.

The “Personal and Confidential” letter was released to the AP (go figure) but even some members of the band don’t know exactly what happened. Chancellor Wiley’s special aide Casey Nagy said the offenses were repeat violations of the code of conduct despite earlier warnings from the adminsitration but would not elaborate. If it’s one thing we’ve learned from “hazing” incidents is that they usually involve foreign objects and a rectum. Remember the good old days at band camp when girls would just stick a flute in their vaginas?

Links:
[Journal Sentinel]: Badger band put on probation

[Badger Herald]: Wiley: Marching Band’s future up in air