Category: All Other Sports

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For the future track and field stars of America: javelins are sharp


July 7, 2007 will probably be remembered for the lavish, Hollywood wedding of Desperate Housewives actress Eva Longoria and San Antonio point guard Tony Parker, but while big time celebrities were getting drunk and dancing in France, Kyler Osborne was being impaled on a javelin.

The 14-year-old Osborne was practicing his favorite event for the Junior Olympics when, in a moment of frustration, he threw the javelin to the ground in front of him on an approach and simply ran himself right through the back, equally sharp, end of the spear.

My steps were off and I was frustrated, so I threw it in the ground in front of me and my momentum kind of carried me into it. It happened so fast,” said Kyler. “I came back off of it and I lifted up my shirt and saw there was a pretty good-size hole.

Kyler’s father rushed him to the hospital and to their surprise, instead of finding a relatively minor puncture wound, the doctor discovered that the javelin went through his entire body and put a small hole in his liver and nicked a lung but miraculously avoided his heart, gallbladder and at least three major arteries.

It was 07/07/07, so it was really my lucky and unlucky day, all at once,” said Kyler.

We’re thrilled that Kyler escaped serious injury and is expected to make a full recovery because now we get to say that we tried to warn him.

Links:

[KING5.com]: Close call with a javelin

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More proof that tight jeans cut off the blood flow to cowboys’ brains

Rodeos have never made much sense to us. Neither have bull fights. So, needless to say, we’re completely perplexed as to why people would stand in the middle of an arena and play chicken with a pissed off bull. Now, we don’t condone violence, but these guys are so stupid that there’s no way we would feel bad if they took a horn gore right in the ass.

Unfortunately, all we got was a little rag-dolling, but it’s not from a lack of wishful thinking. Hmmm, perhaps this could be a suitable punishment for Michael Vick if when he’s found guilty. Seems like a reasonable trade off; he murders dogs by slamming their bodies to the ground, now we’ll see what happens when 1,000 lbs. of snorting beef starts tossing him around.

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The ugly, smelly side of the Tour de France


You probably didn’t know this about the Tour de France, in the opening 12 stages, at least ten riders have been cited for breaking the cycling code. No, we’re not talking about human growth hormones or steroids or anything that gets injected into a cyclist’s body. Articles 12 and 29 of the conduct code book have to do with the call of nature and those ten riders have been fined approximately $87 apiece because they “satisfied nature’s need in front of the public.”

Apparently, if you’ve gotta stop and go in cycling, you’re suppose to be hidden from the public’s view. But the problem with that, according to one rider who was fined, is in the Tour de France there are no open stretches of road where a rider can be secluded.

So, not only are these guys suppose to sit on tiny, unforgiving, testicle smashing seats for miles and miles on end, but they’re suppose to deny their bodily functions for the multiple hour rides too?!?! We know these guys are machines on the course, but c’mon!

We say that if they won’t let you pee in peace then you gotta do what you gotta do.

Some brave souls also go while they’re still riding. That manoeuvre (sic) is performed by hiking up one leg of the bike shorts and pivoting the hips sideways to allow for relief. Sometimes a rider’s teammate will help steady the handlebars, making sure to be upwind.

Links:

[TheStar]: When a guy’s gotta go, a guy’s gotta go

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Someone ought to tell this guy that potty breaks should coincide with commercial breaks

We’ve all heard the stories of what football players do when they, you know, gotta go. And we’ve shown you video of a soccer player who just couldn’t hold it, but don’t be fooled into thinking that nature only calls on athletes during the job.

Dean Blevins is a former ABC college football analyst and current a sports director for KWTV 9 in Oklahoma City and during a recent appearance on a radio show, he couldn’t wait for the commercial break and took a wiz while on the air. Of course, Blevins thought the incident took place off-air which makes it even funnier. You going to have to wait through about the first 1:50 of the clip before the broadcasted peeing occurs; hopefully, can hold out that long because Blevins certainly couldn’t.

Links:

[Awful Announcing]: Dean “The Stream” Blevins on WWLS

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The Great Khali steals Johnny Nitro’s thunder



We know you don’t speak English, but you’re
holding the belt upside down.

We’ve known for a little while now that Johnny Nitro had a supposed mega announcement to make on ECW and we must admit that we were taken back at the show’s opening when some jerk-off in a suit told us that Nitro would never wrestle on ECW again. But after waiting an hour for the champ to have his official press conference, we were more than a little disappointed to find out that the reason Nitro wouldn’t be returning to ECW was because he had changed his name to John Morrison. The new moniker brought with it new entrance music and a new wannabe rock star image, but, unfortunately, Nitro Morrison still had the same crappy mic skills.

While we found the name change to be gripping television (note the sarcasm), Tuesday night gave us some news that was much bigger. No, not the return of Big Daddy V and his gargantuan man boobs; even bigger than that. At a taping of SmackDown, the 7-foot-3, 420-pound monster known as The Great Khali won the World Heavyweight Championship by surviving an unexpected 20-Man Battle Royal for the gold. SmackDown General Manager Theodore Long ordered Edge to relinquish his title after getting injured during last week’s episode and then put the belt up for grabs in the Battle Royal. Needless to say, more will be known on Friday when the show actually airs, but what we do know is that The Great Khali needs an opponent for The Great American Bash. So, Batista (Khali’s original opponent) and Kane (Edge’s original opponent) will compete in a match to determine the number one contender.

Edge had his pectoral muscle torn in a scuffle with Kane last week and will have to undergo surgery which will keep him out of action for at least four months. It’s unfortunate for Edge that his title reign was cut short due to injury, but all this really means is that the Rated R Superstar can add one more championship belt to his already incredible career because there is no doubt that when he returns he will become champion once again. It’s really just a matter of time.

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These kids should invest in some steel toed soccer cleats

We’ve seen some pretty ingenious practical jokes in our days, but weighing down a soccer ball so that it’s as hard as a rock is about as good as it gets. The simplicity of it all is what really makes this a classic prank.

The leapfrog gag is a tad outdated, but we still appreciate the effort. Now the the creepy/hilarious voiceover, that’s just strange.

Links:

[Our Book of Scrap]: Something To Wake You Out of Your “Mike Vick? Indicted?” Fog

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Apparently, there’s no rule against biting in rugby

While we don’t do a lot of rugby reporting, you’ll never catch us calling rugby players soft; especially after we heard about Ben Czislowski. Back on April 1, Czislowski was rugby-ing it up for his Australian club (Wynnum) against the appropriately named Tweed Heads when he had a nasty collision with the competition’s Matt Austin. Czislowski’s head had to be stitched up, but it’s all in a day’s work for rugby dudes, right? Not quite.

Four months later, Czislowski went to the doctor because he was suffering from pains in his head and felt lethargic. The good doctor quickly discovered the source of Ben’s problem: Austin’s tooth was embedded in his head!!

I can laugh about it now, but the doctor told me it could have been serious, with teeth carrying germs,” said Czislowski.

“I’ve got the tooth at home, sitting on the bedside table,” he said. “‘If he (Austin) wants it back he can have it. I’m keeping it at the moment as proof that it actually happened.

Now, we know that having a tooth stuck in your head for four months has got to be totally lame, but we’re still trying to decide on how it compares to having a pearly white lodged in other parts of your anatomy. Hmm, this sounds like a question for Mick Foley. Oh, Mick…

Links:

[Metro.Co.UK]: Rugby player finds tooth stuck in head

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Nothing says awesome like pool and dominoes

We don’t know what show this clip is from, but we’re guessing that it’s the equivalent of America’s Got Talent. And even though there’s no Hoff in the house, you can still color us impressed by this gimmick.

You gotta admit, it’s a helluva lot better than the crappy “talents” we get stuck with here in the States:

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TNA’s Victory Road recap


Kurt Angle thought he was pretty big stuff as he strutted around the IMPACT! Zone sporting a pair of big, shiny belts; especially since one of the belts is the most coveted prize in TNA. But after the Match of Champions, Angle is going to have to swallow a bit of his pride because his archenemy Samoa Joe is now walking around with three title belts around his pudgy waist.

Thanks to a little opportunistic measure that would have made Edge envious, Joe sneakily picked up the pin on Brother Ray of Team 3D after Angle nailed him with the Olympic Slam and, not only retained his X Division championship, but won both of the World Tag Team Titles! Now, after a month of madness, scenarios and possibilities ran wild en route to Victory Road, the only question that remains on the heels of the PPV is who will Joe choose to be his new tag team partner? We’re not too sure who Joe’s going to recruit, but we’re pretty certain we’ll have a much better idea on Thursday evening around 9:30 ET.

But Joe’s got a lot more to think about than just crowing a fellow tag team champ, he’s also going to have to contend with an increasingly unstable Christopher Daniels who won the Ultimate X Gauntlet match. By grabbing the giant “X” dangling over the center of the ring, Daniels became the number one contender for Joe’s X Division crown. As usual, the contest was full of high risk for the wrestlers and high rewards for the fans and while Daniels won the match, it was Kaz who stole the show. As Daniels lay prone, hanging upside down from the suspended ropes, Kaz nailed a Diamond Cutter that sent both men crashing to the mat below. Needless to say, chants of “TNA! TNA!” rang out throughout living rooms across America.

But no PPV would be complete without a show stopping performance from the Instant Classic. While Chris Harris isn’t even close to being in Christian Cage’s class, the two were able to put on an entertaining bout that saw The Wildcat kick out of pin attempt after pin attempt. But in the end, Cage won the match after Goldust Dustin Rhodes interfered by attacking Harris from behind. To some it would be considered a tainted victory, but to Cage it’s just another day at the office.

Complete results from Victory Road

Christopher Daniels won the Ultimate X match to become the new number one contender to the X Championship

The Voodoo Kin Mafia defeated Basham & Damaja

James Storm defeated Rhino

The Motor City Machineguns beat Jerry Lynn and Mr. Backlund

Eric Young & Gail Kim defeated Robert Roode & Ms. Brooks

Christian Cage defeated “Wildcat” Chris Harris after interference from Dustin Rhodes

Sting and Abyss beat Tomko and AJ Styles

Samoa Joe won the Match Of Champions to win the TNA World Tag Team Championship

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Sorry Kurt, but Bob Backlund is our American hero


Abyss showed his ugly face for the first time last week and then he followed that up by kicking Lance Hoyt’s butt all over the six-sided ring to open Impact on Thursday night. But the real fun came after the match when Abyss showed the world that he actually has a voice by screaming at his Victory Road opponents (A.J. Styles and Tomko) with his tag partner Sting by his side. We know that TNA is trying to make Abyss a fan favorite before James Mitchell brings in his newest monster, but we preferred the Abyss that was just a straight up ass kicking machine. Still, this is a helluva lot better than the emotionally fragile Abyss they were shoving down our throats not too long ago.

In the main event, Robert Roode joined forces with Christian Cage and his coalition of Styles and Tomko to take on all four competitors in the Match of Champions. It was obvious from the beginning that Team 3-D and Samoa Joe wanted nothing to do with Kurt Angle and his continually inflating ego. And for good reason as Angle offered no support during the match until Joe put Styles in the Muscle Buster; that’s when your Olympic hero jumped into action by tagging himself into the match. A chop to Joe’s leg sent the fat boy to the mat and Angle covered Styles for the easy 1-2-3. It’s all in a day’s work for the egomaniacal face of TNA.

During the broadcast, TNA announced that at Victory Road there would be a 10 Man Ultimate X Gauntlet Match to determine the No. 1 contender for the X Division Title. Now, we don’t need to tell you that the Ultimate X matches are some of the most entertaining the sport has ever seen. So, that match alone might be worth the price of the PPV. What sucks for these guys is that the match only gets them top contender status and they’ll still have to take on one of the four Match of Champions contestants for the belt. Talk about a difficult road to the top!

But the real reason we tune in each week isn’t to see the high flying or big impacts; no, we keep coming back for the great skits put together by Paparazzi Productions. This week was a debate between old and new school, with Kevin Nash mediating, that ended in a comedic brawl between Alex Shelly, Chris Saban, Jerry Lynn and Bob Backlund. And, as always, Backlund went absolutely berserk, leaving us in stitches as he slapped the Chicken Wing onto Shelly, ranting the entire time. Leave it to TNA to pull off the impossible and make Mr. Backlund cool again.