We know you don’t speak English, but you’re
holding the belt upside down.
We’ve known for a little while now that Johnny Nitro had a supposed mega announcement to make on ECW and we must admit that we were taken back at the show’s opening when some jerk-off in a suit told us that Nitro would never wrestle on ECW again. But after waiting an hour for the champ to have his official press conference, we were more than a little disappointed to find out that the reason Nitro wouldn’t be returning to ECW was because he had changed his name to John Morrison. The new moniker brought with it new entrance music and a new wannabe rock star image, but, unfortunately,
Nitro Morrison still had the same crappy mic skills.
While we found the name change to be gripping television (note the sarcasm), Tuesday night gave us some news that was much bigger. No, not the return of Big Daddy V and his gargantuan man boobs; even bigger than that. At a taping of SmackDown, the 7-foot-3, 420-pound monster known as The Great Khali won the World Heavyweight Championship by surviving an unexpected 20-Man Battle Royal for the gold. SmackDown General Manager Theodore Long ordered Edge to relinquish his title after getting injured during last week’s episode and then put the belt up for grabs in the Battle Royal. Needless to say, more will be known on Friday when the show actually airs, but what we do know is that The Great Khali needs an opponent for The Great American Bash. So, Batista (Khali’s original opponent) and Kane (Edge’s original opponent) will compete in a match to determine the number one contender.
Edge had his pectoral muscle torn in a scuffle with Kane last week and will have to undergo surgery which will keep him out of action for at least four months. It’s unfortunate for Edge that his title reign was cut short due to injury, but all this really means is that the Rated R Superstar can add one more championship belt to his already incredible career because there is no doubt that when he returns he will become champion once again. It’s really just a matter of time.