Category: All Other Sports

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All Other Sports

This is your brain on drugs. Any questions?

There are lots of sports out there that never make it to the surface of society and they remain as hidden gems with their own colorful characters and stories until someone comes along and exposes it to the world. Skateboarding got its start this way and now it might become an Olympic event. Surfing had to fight for its chance to shine in the mainstream spotlight, but now it’s seen by many as a beautiful combination of grace and agility. We’d like to say we’ve brought you the next big underground sports subculture, but, unfortunately, we’re bringing you this instead:

Listen, it’s a really slow day in sports and we just don’t care about the Beckhams coming to America.

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All Other Sports

We knew watching The Karate Kid would pay off one day

For all you out there who don’t know about G4, it’s a cable channel that’s shows all kind of weird shows and covers the world of video games and comic books. Basically, it’s a nerd’s best friend. One of the channel’s shows is Ninja Warrior and G4 is currently conducting a competition to find one select ninja wannabe to be flown to Japan this fall where they will compete to become the next official Ninja Warrior! Considering that we’re a bunch of nerds at heart and becoming a ninja has always been a passion of ours, we decided to send in an audition tape of our own.

Oh, we’re definitely bringing the Ninja Warrior title to Sportscolumn! See ya in Japan, suckers!

Links:

[MiamiHerald.com]: TV show seeking ninjas
[G4TV.com]: Ninja Warrior Home Page

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All Other Sports

Chicks + exercise ball + boredom = funny stuff

For the most part, we’re used to watching idiotic guys doing dumb and painful stuff on camera, so it was rather refreshing when we came across this video of some girls going Jackass with an exercise ball. While we doubt that these girls ever get their own show on MTV, we’re stoked that they’re at least giving the whole ‘hurt yourself for laughs’ routine a go.

Hey, Steve-O started off by swallowing a fish and then regurgitating it and look at him now. We say keep up the good work girls and shoot for the stars. Of course, we’re talking about the stars that are seen after a good whack to the noggin, but if fame follows, more power to ya.

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All Other Sports

The future of sports drinks is upon us

We don’t know about you, but we’re getting sick of Powerade and Gatorade and Gatorade A.M. and Gatorade P.M. and all of the other Gatorade flavors out there. Frankly, we’re burnt out on all of `em and we’re not even sure that they even make a difference in our performance on the court. So, boy were we glad when we saw that the sports hydration drink business finally had some new competition. Playa-Ade is in the house boy!

We’ve tried Playa-Ade and we’ll take Fsho’ Green Apple over that old school yellow crap any day, but be warned, they ain’t lying about the side effects. We’re still suffering from fits of screaming and can’t seem to stop ourselves from getting in peoples’ grills.

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All Other Sports

Could sibling rivalry could be behind fencing "accident"? We say yes.


We know that people absolutely love the Pan American Games and even more than that, people absolutely love the sport of fencing. One of our personal favorites in the world of fencing is Brazilian Ivan Schwantes. Unfortunately, Schwantes was forced to withdraw from the competition after his brother and our new most hated man in the world of fencing, Athos, accidentally stabbed him during a practice session in Rio De Janeiro on Monday.

Ivan had to undergo surgery to drain blood and air from his lung after the evil Athos poked him too hard, snapping his epee close to his right armpit. While Ivan will recover from his injuries, it won’t be in time to compete for the crown of top fencer.

We need to think about his health before anything else, so he won’t participate in the games,” Brazil’s delegation chief Marcus Vinicius Freire said in the statement.

The Brazilian team named a replacement for the squad, but the group just won’t be the same without Ivan there. Hell, the PanAm’s won’t be the same without Ivan there.

Damn you Athos, damn you!

Links:

[SI.com]: Fencer leaves PanAm Games after accidental stabbing

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All Other Sports

The Nitro era is finally getting underway


It took a little while, but it seems that Johnny Nitro is finally starting to gain a little bit of respect as the ECW Champion. Nitro put on a great match with Tommy Dreamer that was contested under extreme rules and ended with the champ having his hand raised in victory. Now, we know that a legacy can’t be defined by one match, but Nitro did a lot to add some credibility to his reign by putting his body on the line and dishing it out as well as he took it. We never thought that we would say it, but Nitro might be a pretty decent champ. At least, his next match with C.M. Punk should have a little more anticipation now that both guys are rolling.

Last night also marked the unexpected debut of Big Daddy V, also known as Viscera without a shirt on. Frankly, we prefer the pajama look because Big Daddy V had some serious man tits that would make Abdullah The Butcher look like a B-cup. V made a big impact (as if there would be any other kind) in his debut as he beat the crap out of the Boogie Man on the orders of Matt Striker. Let the battle of the freaks begin.

But the most exciting part about the show was the same thing that is exciting about all the brands shows of late, the announcements that Triple H’s return is coming soon. There is no better heel in the WWE than The Game. We’re not talking about the smiling, joking Degeneration X Triple H; we’re talking about the cold blooded Triple H that’s is determined to get a championship around his waist. And, hopefully, that’s The Game that the WWE decides to bring back.

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All Other Sports

IRL didn’t like the Kanaan/Hornish fight, but we did

The fines finally came down after the brawl between the crews of Tony Kanaan and Sam Hornish Jr. following a race in Watkins Glen, N.Y., on Sunday and the Indy Racing League didn’t go easy on the fellas. Both drivers have been fined an unknown amount and placed on probation for the remainder of the year, while each driver’s team was fined $25,000 for unsportmanlike conduct and also placed on probation until 2008.

The most memorable moment from the whole pit road debacle was when Hornish’s pops gave a two handed shove to Kanaan and started the big brawl. Daddy was given a one race suspension and got the same probation sentence as everyone else who was involved. We know that the IRL can’t put up with this kind of crap from their drivers and crews, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t totally entertaining.

If it was up to us, every race would end with a brawl and a bunch of smack talk. It’s better than climbing a stupid fence.

Links:

[SI.com]: IRL fines teams $25,000 each for Watkins Glen fracas

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All Other Sports

The fellas on Around The Horn suddenly look a lot more intelligent

We complain a lot about the annoying guys behind SportsCenter desks, but at least they’re better than what is offered across the pond. Although, we could totally see Stu Scott and Scott Van Pelt doing some of the exact same things.

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All Other Sports

Pro wrestlers speak out on Larry King Live


The Chris Benoit story continues to send shockwaves through the world of professional wrestling and last night on Larry King Live, along with other former stars, WWE Champion John Cena joined Chris Jericho in studio and Bret Hart via satellite for an on-air discussion about the man and the murders.

As expected, they were as shocked by what unfolded a couple weeks back as the rest of us. Nobody had a clue as to what would make the man they considered to be a consummate professional commit such savage acts. In fact, Jericho said that Benoit was a great father.

If I had to leave my kids with somebody, I would leave them with Chris Benoit if I was in a pinch and not have any — any inkling of anything but that they would get the best possible care and attention. And that’s another reason why it’s just so completely — it’s so hard to deal with, Larry, because this guy loved his kids, L-O-V-E capital letters.

While steroids continue to play a role in the ongoing dialogue surrounding the double-murder/suicide, the entire panel seemed to think that its lazy journalism for the media to simply claim that steroids are the cause of this tragedy and said they wouldn’t believe it until the proof was offered. Benoit passed a drug test back in April.

As horrible as this has been for the families and the profession, the truth is that we will never know exactly what caused Benoit to snap. Even if drugs are found in his system, this still can’t be explained by a simple pill or injection. We’d like to be able to say that this guy was a pill popping, needle stabbing, brutal human being, because that would explain a whole lot, but the people that knew him best say he wasn’t that man at all. Of course, he could have been fooling them all along but if friends of five, ten, 15, 20 years have no clue, then it’s highly unlikely that some news organization will uncover anything any different.

The questions will never be answered and it is completely wrong to judge the entire wrestling industry as steroid pumping madmen based on Benoit’s actions. The NFL isn’t full of O.J. Simpsons, the NBA isn’t all Ron Artests and the WWE isn’t a huge collection of Benoits. This individual had some serious, serious mental issues and that’s basically all we will ever know.

Links:

[CNN.com]: Wrestler Kills Wife, Son & Himself

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All Other Sports

Venus Williams’ has the thrill of a lifetime: reading a Top Ten list


Venus Williams is atop the tennis world again after she dominated on the famous grass courts of Wimbledon yet again. And while getting a nice fat check, a big trophy and more international fame might be some of the little perks that come along with the victory, the grand prize for busting her butt and winning against the best competition the world has to offer is a complimentary trip to the Late Show with David Letterman where Venus got to read a very special Top Ten list.

Top Ten Things Venus Williams Would Like To Say After Winning Her 4th Wimbledon Title

10: “I blew my prize money on a sandwich and a medium soda at the concession stand”

9: “It always helps to tip the line judges”

8: “Frankly, I prefer racquetball”

7: “At the rate I’m going, I’ll have won 50 Wimbledon titles by the age of 120”

6: “I owe it all to my new iRacket”

5: “I’m taking some time off to polish my trophies”

4: “The secret to my forehand smash? I imagine the ball is Letterman’s head”

3: “Imagine how I’d do if I practiced”

2: “Don’t tell me how I did in the finals. I TiVo’d it”

1: “Steinbrenner just signed me to save the Yankees”

Links:

[CBS.com]: Today’s Top Ten