Author: Vin

Vin is a Philly boy who shouldn't be invited into your house because he'll judge you on your book and music collection. He owns Dawkins, Utley, Iverson, and Lindros jerseys, which is all you really need to know about him. He can be reached at [email protected].

Miami Dolphins

Ricky Williams tested positive for substance other than pot

Post author By Vin
Post date February 21, 2006
No Comments on Ricky Williams tested positive for substance other than pot

Did not inhale

While Ricky is practicing yoga and studying holistic medicine, things are heating up in Florida. Reports are that Ricky did violate the substance abuse policy but that it was not for pot. Before we all jump to conclusions that he was doing coke with Kate Moss, it’s possible that he tested positive for any of the banned supplements by the NFL. The Miami Herald reported that Williams failed a test for “a substance not publicly known”.

I would be blown away if Ricky Williams used drugs,” said agent Leigh Steinberg, who represents Williams. “And that’s how most of the people around him also feel.

I’ve been fooled by athletes before (see OJ) but Ricky doesn’t seem like the type to do street drugs. He’s just a pothead who likes his weed. Ricky is appealing his suspension and the Dolphins are pissed because he’s now virtually untradeable.

Meanwhile, no one really cares what Jim Kelly thinks but he said, “The only comment I have is I’m glad he’s part of the Dolphins organization and not the Buffalo Bills.” Thanks 4 time Super Bowl loser.

[Miami Herald]: Ricky’s positive test is not for pot

San Francisco Giants

We’re not the only ones who hate Barry Bonds

Post author By Vin
Post date February 21, 2006
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Barry Bonds skipped the first day of training camp for position players because he had to get some “personal stuff straightened out.” Sure Barry, just do whatever you want. You’ve done it all your career. I wondered if there were a lot of people sick of Barry and it turns out there is.

[MSNBC]: Michael Ventre “Every time he opens his mouth, it’s either to call attention to himself or to lash out at his critics.”

[Fox Sports]: Ken Rosenthal “If this season is Bonds’ last, Aaron’s mark almost certainly will be out of reach, saving MLB the embarrassment of celebrating a tainted slugger passing one of the game’s most dignified greats.”

[MSNBC]: Gary Peterson “Hey Barry, we’ve heard all this before.”

[ESPN]: Gene Wojciechowski “Not since Reggie Jackson and the “magnificence of me” days has there been a player more tone deaf when it comes to understanding how tiresome his martyr act has become.”

Soccer

England Soccer stars vs Prostitutes

Post author By Vin
Post date February 20, 2006
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Say NO to hookers, mate

The Women’s National Commission has asked the coach and players of the England National team to discourage fans from using prostitutes during the World Cup finals even though prostitution is legal in Germany.

Let’s see, a lot of drunk guys with 40,000+ prostitutes roaming the streets. It’s highly unlikely that any soccer player will be able to dissuade a fan that might want to…uh.. sample the local flavor, especially since one of the stars, Wayne Rooney, is a regular contributor to hookers’ retirement funds. Let’s hope the ladies he choose look slighly better than the one Denny Neagle chose.

[Mirror UK]: PLEA ON VICE GIRLS

Olympics

US Hockey in deep trouble

Post author By Vin
Post date February 20, 2006
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Slip sliding away

We knew this wasn’t going to be US Hockey’s year when they announced the goaltenders for the Olympics and Rick DiPietro promptly went out and allowed 5 goals. Even though DiPietro has been playing well, the rest of the team has been terrible. The US is now 1-2-1 and will rely on goal differential to clear Latvia and move into the quarterfinals. Thank god there isn’t a Jamaican Hockey team.

The US Hockey team suffers from 2 problems: 1) they’re really old and 2) no one can score. The international game is about wide open ice and quickness and the old legs of Chelios, Modano, Guerin, etc, just can’t keep up. There will be no miracle on ice folks, this thing is dead.

NBA General

NBA All Star Weekend Highlights

Post author By Vin
Post date February 20, 2006
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Grand theft

If you decided not to watch the fluffing going on in Houston this weekend, you actually missed some good stuff. But you also didn’t miss a lot of good stuff either so whatever you were doing was probably better than the time I wasted watching TNT.

Here are the highlights:

Sophs win the Rookie Challenge. Andre Igoudala is the MVP.
Dwayne Wade wins the skills challenge.
Dirk Nowitzki wins the three point shootout.
Nobody wins when we have to watch the Shooting Stars. Negative Branding for Radio Shack.
Celebrities can’t play ball but Becky Hammon might be the cutest WNBA player.
Igoudala wuz robbed in the dunk contest. Nate Robinson wins because he’s 5’9″.
LeBron James brings East back from big deficit and wins All Star Game MVP.

Miami Dolphins

Ricky Williams smokes pot

Well…that was quick.

I know, it’s as shocking to you as it is to me, but reports are that Ricky Williams has violated the league policy for the fourth time and will be suspended for one year. Note that the last time Ricky retired from football, it was because he had violated the substance abuse policy and was going to be suspended for a year.

His mother says that Ricky is in India ~~smoking some good shit~~ on vacation and did not know about his failing a drug test.

[USA Today]: Williams faces possible suspension

San Francisco Giants

Bonds stealing retirement spotlight from Sosa

Post author By Vin
Post date February 20, 2006
2 Comments on Bonds stealing retirement spotlight from Sosa

[As soon as I finished posting this entry, I see a report that Bonds has backed off the retirement talk. Will everyone please stop playing the Favre card!]

I guess Bonds wants his farewell tour in 2006. In an interview with USA Today, Bonds cemented his place as the whiniest baseball player of our generation.

I’m not playing baseball anymore after this. The game (isn’t) fun anymore. I’m tired of all of the crap going on. I want to play this year out, hopefully win, and once the season is over go home and be with my family. Maybe then everybody can just forget about me.

If Bonds wasn’t such a dick to everyone until it served his needs, then maybe fans is stadiums around the country would show up to wish him well. But I have a hard time believing that many fans will show up to honor Barry Bonds. I’m not even talking about the steroid allegations. Let’s assume that doesn’t even exist. Why would fans show up to honor him when he’s given so little back to the game? Barry is a selfish, arrogant, me-first athlete and he wants us to adore him? Please.

A quick check of Giants blogs shows that even Giants fans don’t really care.

[USA Today]: Bonds: ‘I’m not playing baseball anymore after this’
[SFGate]: Bonds goes back, forth. Stories differ about retiring

General Sports

Odds and Ends for Monday Feb 20 2006: Metaphysics

Post author By Vin
Post date February 20, 2006
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[Philly.com]: Darren Daulton is going insane

[AP]: Hall of Fame names 16 finalists including Barkley, Wilkins

[Philly.com]: German bobsledders cheating?

[Canucks OpEd]: Are the Japanese censoring hockey?

[On the DL]: It’s good to be an athlete

Satire

Best of Sports Satire this week – Feb 17 2006

Post author By Vin
Post date February 17, 2006
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Here are the best satire stories for this week.

[The Brushback]: “Sheryl Crow Now Pro-Cancer” (No article but damn that’s a hell of a headline.)

[The Brushback]: Report: Gretzky Not Man Enough To Bet On Football “I’ve been associated with him for many years and there is no bigger pussy on earth than Wayne Gretzky. It takes balls to bet on football, especially the huge amount of money his wife was betting. That lady has the courage of ten men, unlike her husband, who would shrink in fear from a game of bingo.”

[Sportalicious]: CHENEY FAILS TO QUALIFY FOR OUTDOORS GAMES

[Sports Pickle]: Art Shell the Latest Re-Tread Black Coach to Get a New Job “I don’t like to stick my nose into the hiring practices of our teams,” said NFL commissioner Paul Tagliabue, “but this is definitely a matter that needs attention. Art Shell was fired by the Raiders after the 1994 season and in the 12 years since hasn’t had any other jobs. Yet now, after only granting interviews to a few white candidates, the Raiders hire him back. This kind of old boy network cronyism must come to an end in the NFL.”

[The Onion]: Gretzky: ‘I Never Bet On Baseball’ ” can say with great certainty that I never bet on the Cincinnati Reds, and that I never bet on baseball, nor do I intend to, nor would I even know where to begin if I were to do so,” said Gretzky, who will now likely never gain admission to the National Baseball Hall of Fame.”

General Sports