Author: clay

Categories
Chicago Cubs

What would Harry Caray think?


For those of you who are fortunate enough (or possibly cursed) to watch the Cubbies play ball every year at Wrigley Field, buying beer just got a whole lot easier thanks to a new website that allows you to learn more about the lucky vendors who get to watch you get drunk and stuff your face with hot dogs.

BeerVendors.com has the pics and bios of all the beer dispensing men and women who call Wrigley home for a few hours each week. Just imagine it, no more embarrassing moments spent screaming, “Hey! Beer dude, over here,” in vain. Now, you can simply yell for your favorite vendor by their nickname to get their undivided attention.

For example, the next time 37 year veteran Don Gerstein is working your section just holler out, “Yo, Slappy! Two Buds.” Now doesn’t that sound like a much more pleasurable game atmosphere?

Links:

[MySA.com]: Click and Scroll: Guys, girls who make the confines a little friendlier

Categories
General Sports

Top 10 Most Gruesome sports injuries: #9 Javelin Judge

[Sportscolumn is running down the ten most gruesome sports injuries. Here’s #9]

This is an oldie, but it’s a goodie and if this doesn’t make you cringe then it’s simply from overexposure of the clip during the last few years. The accident happened at the Bislett Games in Oslo, Norway and the javelin reportedly ended up piercing the old dude’s hand.

From what we can tell, javelins are about six feet long and fly through the air at speeds around 70 mph. So, don’t let the fact that this got made into a commercial fool you into thinking it didn’t have the potential to be fatal. But don’t take our word for it, just ask Matthew Brobst.

Back to #10 | Forward to #8

Categories
Golf

Even John Amaechi says those are over the top


If you thought that ugly sneakers were strictly relegated to the hardwood during the NBA’s annual All-Star weekend, think again. In fact, the hideous footwear trend is about to invade the Master’s hallowed fairways and fringes.

Thanks to PUMA, Geoff Ogilvy and Johan Edfors will be sporting these gaudy golden shoes during the competition to “celebrate the first year of PUMAs golf collection.” Uh, with shoes like these there might not be a second year. But don’t think that PUMA forgot to accessorize. The lucky pair of golfers also get to don equally fashionable outfits that will compliment the kicks.

Apparently, PUMA doesn’t mind parading their boys up and down the links like a couple of lil’ Liberaces. Looks like Stephon Marbury was right, it is better to own than be owned.

Links:

[The Golf Blog]: Geoff Ogilvy to wear Puma golden shoes at Masters

Categories
Cincinnati Reds

Cincinnati mayor has Rick Vaughn syndrome

This wasn’t the first time this has ever happened, and it certainly won’t be the last, but it is always funny to see someone throw like a little girl.

The Reds brought Mayor Mark Mallory to the field on opening to do to toss out the ceremonial opening pitch of the season but nobody realized that the mayor had a wet noodle for an arm. Eric Davis had to walk nearly to the dugout to retrieve the ball.

This morning, Mallory referenced the pitch during an interview with a local TV station by saying, “There’s no excuse. It was a terrible throw, a terrible throw.”

Unlike most politicians, at least Mallory can take credit for his shortcomings.

Links:

[Cincinnati.com]: Strong Mayor, Weak Arm

Categories
Boxing

Top 10 Most Gruesome sports injuries: #10 Hasim Rahman

[Sportscolumn is running down the ten most gruesome sports injuries. Here’s #10.]


Back in 2003, Evander Holyfield beat on Hasim Rahman until this baseball sized knot developed over his left eye. Of course, in typical Holyfield fashion, the lump wasn’t brought about by a baragae of fists alone; no, Holyfield used a pair of head butts to help create the nasty bump. The fight would eventually be ended on the ring doctor’s recommendation at the 1:40 mark in the eighth round.

After the match, Rahman said that he should have expected the head butts from Holyfield and then he spit out one of the greatest quotes in sports history.

I have a cut in the middle of my forehead, and an extra head on my head.

Well, at least you walked out of the ring with your ears intact.

On to #9

Categories
NFL General

Ex-NFL player throws old man off balcony


At one time, Hubert D. Thompson was considered to be the top-rated defensive end prospect in the nation by many analysts. Now, the former Spartan and Saint will be need to learn how to become proficient at defending his own rear end because he’s about to be locked up for a long time.

Thompson was involved in a seven-hour standoff with SWAT teams surrounding his apartment in Lombard, IL, after he threw a 66-year-old man off of a third story balcony. Thompson is being held on $3 million bond and is charged with the murder of James Malone.

There is currently no motive for the Suge Knight/Vanilla Ice recreation gone wrong, but police said that it could have been just a case of Malone being in the wrong place at the wrong time as Thompson went berserk and punched the old man in the face while out in the hallway before tossing him over the edge.

The allegation is that it was unprovoked,” DuPage County State’s Attorney Joseph Birkett told the (Arlington Heights) Daily Herald. “This individual is going to be evaluated, I’m sure.

Lombard Police Deputy Chief Dane Cuny said that his officers had several encounters with Thompson in the past due to his “emotional issues” and said that this was possibly another “emotional episode” by Thompson. Calling this an emotional episode is like saying Mike Tyson only has a slight anger management problem. We like to refer to something like this as more of an emotional meltdown.

Links:

[ChicagoSports.com]: Ex-NFL player facing murder charges
[SI.com]: Ex-MSU player charged with murder
[Chicago Tribune]: Ex-football pro held on murder charge

Categories
College Basketball

Joakim Noah doesn’t like being called "good"

We all know that Joakim Noah looks funny. And we all know that Joakim Noah dances funny. But did you know that Joakim Noah could be funny behind the mic. Well, it’s not exactly Eddie Murphy or George Carlin funny but we still think that you’ll get a chuckle out of Noah’s reaction to being called “good” by Ohio State guard Ron Lewis. Apparently, Noah has been attending the Alicia Silverstone school of comedy.

Categories
NBA General

Around the Rim: Sun burned


1. Another Mavs’ streak bites the dust
The last time the Mavs and Suns got together it was an instant classic, but the rematch didn’t quite have the same pizzazz. Dallas got spanked by 22, 126-104, as Phoenix shot 65 percent for the game and Steve Nash had another great game against his former club. The teams are 2-2 in the season series and the way it appears it’s going to shake out the two won’t be meeting up again unless they make it to the Western Conference finals. But Dallas shouldn’t take the loss too hard because they can still claim an impressive 61-8 record since beginning the season with a four game losing streak, and they are expected to sign veteran big man Kevin Willis to a 10-day contract today. That’s a great move because you can never have too many big bodies when it comes time to bang it out with the other power teams in the West.

2. Broken hand, broken heart

The Wizards win over the Bucks, coupled with a Miami loss to Detroit yesterday gave Washington a ½ game lead over the Heat in the Southeast Division. But the results of the day aren’t that great; after all, Washington lost their second best player with a broken hand which will keep him sidelined for what will most likely be the remainder of the year. Even if the Wiz get home court advantage in the playoffs, the loss of Caron Butler leaves Washington as a one man show with the hopes of the franchise riding solely on the shoulders of Gilbert Arenas. If the post season began today Agent 0, I mean the Wizards would be facing the Bulls in the first round. Good luck with that one.

3. It’s so good to be back
Toronto fans have known that this day was coming for some time now, but yesterday their dreams became a reality as the Raptors locked up a post season berth for the first time in five years. As usual, it was Chris Bosh who led the way by scoring 24 points and pulling down 16 rebounds in the 107-94 victory over the Bobcats. Right now Toronto has the third seed in the East which would place them against a hot Heat team that will be welcoming D-Wade back to practice today. So, the Raptors might want to enjoy this feeling while it lasts because it could be a very quick return to the playoffs, perhaps only a four or five game stay.

Sunday’s Player of the Day: Yao Ming vs. Utah 40 min, 35 pts (FG: 11-24, FT: 13-15), 16 reb, 4 blk

Monday’s Game to Watch: Sorry, no games on the schedule for today. But do you really want to watch the pros play tonight anyway?

Buzzer Beater: Jordan Farmar became the first player to ever to pull off a head scratching feat in the NBA, and it wasn’t going 2-for-5 from the field for four points. However, Farmar did become the first player to play a game in a Development League and the NBA in the same day. Before joining the Lakers for a contest against the Kings in LA, Farmar scored 18 points to go along with six assists and three steals for the Los Angeles D-Fenders. While the pay isn’t as good, Farmar had to enjoy racking up 41 minutes and jacking up 16 shots in the contest. That’s the closest he’ll ever get to being like his MVP candidate teammate.

Categories
College Football

Odds and Ends: Jim Harbaugh takes the opening shot



What did I say?

Jim Harbaugh just got the job as Stanford’s coach and he’s already making enemies. Harbaugh came out and said that USC’s Pete Carroll would not be with the program come next year. Pete denied the statement and fired back with the ol’ “And if he has any questions about it he should call me.” Sounds like we have an old fashioned feud a brewin’, too bad these two won’t be suiting up when their teams get together on October 6.

In other news…

[Steroid Nation]: George Mitchell is taking his sweet time with this steroid inquiry

[Page Six]: Beckham says, why can’t I check the menu?

[BostonHerald.com]: A marathon isn’t squat after going to the moon and back

[Page Six]: LeBron like Karl Malone, loves big breaseses.

[The Big Lead]: Carl Pavano should go hang out with LeBron now

[AdFreak.com]: Christian Laettner has already ordered two boxes

And for all you ladies out there, here’s a story to help you sleep a little better at night.

Categories
Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Lionel Gates gets locked up



And I thought I was nuts.

Tampa Bay running back Lionel Gates is a piece of trash. Even Mike Tyson thinks Gates went too far after he punched a pregnant woman in the face before he shoved her into a wall on Thursday night. Gates is currently sitting in jail without bond on charges of burglary of a dwelling, aggravated battery of a pregnant woman and criminal mischief.

Gates went ballistic at the apartment of Peggy Lavender as he kicked in the front door, smashed a pair of TV’s and went Ron Artest on Lavender.

Charges such as those facing Lionel Gates are taken seriously by the Buccaneers organization,” the team said in a statement. “We plan to meet with Lionel as soon as possible after which we will deal with this matter appropriately.

If the Bucs have any guts at all they will kick this punk off their team without any further questions asked and Roger Goodell will ban him from the league. But that’s just our wishful thinking, after all, he has yet to make an example out of Chris Henry or Pacman Jones, and their criminal history reads like a novel.

Links:

[TBO.com]: Bucs player accused of assaulting pregnant woman
[CBSSportsline.com]: Bucs RB Gates arrested, charged with assaulting pregnant woman