All Other Sports

Don’t worry, Mr. McMahon is still alive and kickin’

Who looks silly now?

We’ve always known that pro wrasslin’ fans were a little sick in the head. Hell, we’re WWE fans so we have first hand knowledge of just exactly how mentally twisted you have be to enjoy that stuff. But having a socially impairing addiction like an unusual attraction to a weekly two hour spandexfest is no excuse for being as gullible as Isiah Thomas.

WWE fans were in an uproar on Tuesday after Monday Night RAW concluded with an increasingly delusional Vince McMahon climbing into his limo which immediately exploded into a fiery cloud. Apparently those idiotic diehards who refuse to believe that these shows are scripted actually believed that the president of the billion dollar entity known as WWE had died in the “accident.” What freaking fools! Anyone who watches RAW, Smackdown or ECW with any sort of regularity knew this was a twist on the “self destruction of Mr. McMahon” storyline.

And even if you are stupid enough to believe that Vince’s limo would simply spontaneously combust when he shut the door, do you really think that there would be cameras strategically placed all around the carnage to catch every second of the pyrotechnic display? Good grief!

Why is it that wrestling is always getting dissed as the most obvious case of horrible acting on the planet 364 days out of the year, but then, the one day when something so incredibly cinematically scripted happens, everyone suddenly believes that they’re watching a slice of reality?

What’s next? Are you going to try and tell us that Owen Hart is really dead too?


[]: Vince McMahon’s hoax goes up in smoke

General Sports

Vince McMahon is a hypocrite

On Wednesday the WWE’s chairman Vince McMahon was in Miami to announce that the Citrus Bowl would be home to wrestling’s biggest event, Wrestlemania. Everything was going good for Vince, a.k.a. the Genetic Jackhammer, until he decided to try and get smart with Local 6 sports director Todd Lewis after he asked McMahon about the company’s recent steroid scandal.

I don’t think it sends a negative message,” McMahon said. “It would be one thing if that were brought out and promoted in our events and things of that nature. We are talking about a minority of individuals that do things like this and you are going to find it everywhere.”

After the interview, McMahon said bringing up the subject of performance-enhancing drugs at the event was in poor taste, Lewis reported.

Lewis responded to McMahon’s comment during Local 6’s 6 p.m news show.

“Vince, you have your employees dying prematurely due to health problems from steroid use, you send women out to wrestle in dental floss with more silicon in their body than a Tupperware convention and you are going to lecture people about poor taste?” Lewis said. “Make sure you Windex that glass house you live in before throwing those stones,
my friend.

Now that’s what you call a billionaire bitch slap! Here’s how Vince use to react to steroid controversies back in the classic days of WWE.


[]: WWE McMahon’s `poor taste’ comment slammed
[Steroid Nation]: WWE: steroids, premature death, and women in dental floss and tuperware

General Sports

Do pro wrestler also take fake steroids?

You mean this might
not be natural?

You knew that it wouldn’t be long until the steroid scandal would leave the arena of conventional sport and into the world of sports entertainment. And now it has as WWE superstars Randy Orton, Edge, Gregory Helms and eight others have joined the likes of Jose Conseco, John Rocker and Evander Holyfield as “cheaters of the game.”

Orton allegedly received eight prescriptions for six different drugs including testosterone back in 2004. Oddly enough the doctors that wrote the prescriptions for “The Legend Killer” are two of the doctors who names appear in the file of Gary Matthews Jr. That’s weird. And an Arizona doctor has come up repeatedly in the files of other wrasslers like Kurt Angle, Rey Mysterio and the late Eddie Guerrero.

So far the WWE has been quiet about the situation but it shouldn’t be a big surprise that a bunch of guys who perform in their underwear are concerned about having chiseled bodies. Sure, it’s illegal but isn’t the concern about steroids in sports centered on the premise that they provide an unfair athletic advantage to one person over another? Because if that’s the case, then what does it matter if these guys shoot up until their head quadruples in size? After all, pro wrestling is constantly criticized as nothing more than a bunch of meatheads starring in a man’s soap opera.

Health concerns are a big factor in the necessary ban of the illegal drugs, but it’s not like America is suddenly a deeply compassionate country when it comes to the health of an individual performer. The last time America actually gave a flip about the injury of a sporting figure was when Barbaro broke his leg.


[]: Wrestlers allegedly tied to drug ring
[Steroid Nation]: Operation Netroids