Tag: tv

Categories
General Sports

This sounds like the worst reality show ever


ABC has a new reality show called “Fast Cars and Superstars: Gillette Young Guns Celebrity Race”. The show puts all the NASCAR drivers who pimp Gilette into teams with random celebs. The professional drivers were the teachers in classroom and on-track training.

The list of celebs are: Bill Cowher, John Elway, Serena Williams, William Shatner, Krista Allen (of some ABC show), Jewel and her boyfriend Ty Murray, John Salley, Tony Hawk, John Cena, Laird Hamilton (surfer) and husband Gabby Reece.

Details are hazy since ABC won’t comment on the show but do the couples (Jewel/Ty and Laird/Gabby) have to drive together? And why exactly is Jewel anywhere near a racetrack? We expect this show to have terrible ratings because 1) it sounds god awful, and 2) everyone came out of it unharmed. Why would you watch a celebrity driving reality show (or NASCAR for that matter) except to see spectacular wrecks. Now we’re not saying we want to see any celebrities harmed but knowing that we won’t see William Shatner running out of a flaming car in his underwear takes away from the fun of it.

Links:
[Mondesi’s House]: CowheReality
[Post-Gazette]: Cowher rides onto reality show

Categories
Dallas Cowboys

Dancing with Emmitt Smith


So it looks like Dancing with the Stars has made “retired football star” as part of their casting list. After Jerry Rice last year, we get Emmitt Smith this year. We can see it now. In a critical dance off vs Jerry Springer, Emmitt pretends to have a career ending injury and has to be carried off the stage by his dance partner and trainers. Then, in a stunning turn of events, he miraculously makes it back onto the stage and wins the event. What a hero. What a fighter…

Other “celebrities” will be Vivica A. Fox, harry Hamlin, Willa Ford, Joe (not Joey) Lawrence, and AC Slater from Saved by the Bell.

Links:
[ESPN]: Emmitt Smith to compete in ‘Dancing With the Stars’

Categories
NHL General

3rd horseman: WNBA outdrew the NHL



Someone save hockey

1st horseman of the sportspocalypse: Red Sox win the World Series. 2nd horseman: White Sox win the World Series. Now the WNBA is drawing more viewers than the NHL. ESPN is reporting that more people watched the WNBA on ESPN2 last year than the NHL on OLN this year. When the United States wins the World Cup, it will be the end of sports days.

We have to point out two things. First, OLN has a much lower subscriber base (21 million less) than ESPN as well as lack of ratings for other programming to shove the WNBA down our throats…er.. promote other shows. As a matter of fact, when ESPN had hockey, they drew 300,000 more viewers on average. (416,000 vs 117,000.)

Second, hockey has always been an in-person draw. Hockey fans understand that the game is much better on ice than on TV, as opposed to football. The average attendance at NHL games was double that of the WNBA (17,000 vs 8,500), setting a record for attendance.

Let’s not forget that ESPN has a vested interest in justifying their decision to drop the NHL by pointing out the mediocre ratings of hockey on OLN and NBC. NBC has countered that ratings are “in the ballpark” of what they expected and they will be profitable in year 1 of the deal. It’s a shame when these kind of statistics come out. When the casual fan sees these stories, they will think, “I guess the NHL is boring now… I’ll watch another rerun of Everybody Loves Raymond.” And that is how we lost Arrested Development.

Links:
[ESPN]: Great hockey, yes, but is anyone watching?

Categories
General Sports

OJ Simpson plays Ashton Kutcher


For the low low price of $9.95 you can watch OJ selling the infamous white Bronco, dressed up as an Elvis impersonator, or selling oranges as a bum in his new pay-per-special called Juiced. It pretty much has the same “car wreck” appeal of the Simpson trial itself but, hell for $10, we’ll pretty much watch anything. Could Juiced be any worse than Benchwarmers? And plenty of people paid $10 to see that turd in the theaters.

OJ still owes a bunch of money to the Brown and Goldman families as a result of the civil suit so he’s not getting “paid” for his part. The producer of Juiced said, “Basically O.J. Simpson has decided to do this because he wants to do it, and he wanted to have fun with it.” And if you believe that, then you must believe the pranks were an elaborate scheme for OJ to track down the real killers. We’ll wager there’s an offshore account that recently got a bunch of dough deposited somewhere.

Links:
[ESPN]: Simpson pretends to sell the Bronco at a used car lot