Categories
Dallas Cowboys

Kim Etheredge has less reasons to be alive


The publicist who said “Terrell has 25 million reasons why he should be alive” has been fired by Owens. Not only did she insult the Dallas police department, she also provided one of the unintentionally funniest soundbites of 2006.

Now granted, she looked like a crack addict that day but we assume that if she weren’t up for 24 hours and dealing with TO, that she might look halfway decent when she cleans up. So there lies the moral of the story. Never hire someone just cause she’s good looking. Etheredge is/was probably the most incompetent publicist an athlete has ever had. She did more harm to TO’s image than any other publicist in the history of sports. Considering how low TO’s image was to begin with, that’s quite a feat. Maybe Nick Saban can hire her to make him look more like a money grabbing double talking weasel.

Links:
[Star Telegram]: Owens fires publicist

Categories
NFL General

TO’s got problems

From the Wiki entry for Paranoid Personality Disorder:

1. suspects, without sufficient basis, that others are exploiting, harming, or deceiving him or her
2. is preoccupied with unjustified doubts about the loyalty or trustworthiness of friends or associates
3. is reluctant to confide in others because of unwarranted fear that the information will be used maliciously against him or her
4. reads hidden demeaning or threatening meanings into benign remarks or events
5. persistently bears grudges, i.e., is unforgiving of insults, injuries, or slights
6. perceives attacks on his or her character or reputation that are not apparent to others and is quick to react angrily or to counterattack
7. has recurrent suspicions, without justification, regarding fidelity of spouse or sexual partner.

Check check check check check check and uh… maybe check.

Here’s the latest from Little T’s Paranoid Mind:

Owens remains upset that someone within the organization has been airing his dirty laundry… Although T.O. has a good idea of who is snitching — “This is not a situation where someone is hiding out in the bushes,” he said — he won’t confront the suspect until ‘the time is right.’
 

We can’t hardly wait.

Links:
[MSNBC]: A snitch among Cowboys, accuses Owens

Categories
Dallas Cowboys

Odds and Ends: TO powderkeg temporarily defused



Dude, I had the curry!

Like they say, winning is the best defuser. (Or was that deodorant?) In any case, a weekend that had the potential for being the one in which Owens blew up quickly turned into a lovefest as the Cowboys got to take on the Texans at home. It was coming folks. After a report that TO got into a verbal altercation with his wide receivers coach Todd Haley because he was late to practice with stomach problems, an upset by the Texans would have sent everyone over the edge. Jerry Jones was quoted as saying that Haley would be disciplined for his part in the argument. TO said the relationship was ruined. Drew Bledsoe stinks on ice. Three ingredients for a meltdown. Instead, a 3 TD performance by the player resulted in hugs for the wide receiver coach, TO being a good teammate and now the Cowboys are denying any discipline for Haley. So for those of you in the Terrell Owens Meltdown Pool, week 6 wasn’t it. It’s coming though. It’s coming.

In other news…

[TwinCities.com]: Stephen Jackson says he was only defending teammates

[BBC Sport]: Baseball’s steroids problem so rampant, it’s now affecting cricket

[STLToday]: Hell, even chess players are cheating now

[People]: Thank goodness, what would we do without more shots of Eva Longoria in the stands

[The Hater Nation]: Ed Hocholi makes Scott Linehan look foolish

[Phillies Nation]: A-Rod to the Phillies is a recipe for suicide watch

[The Pink Seats]: Bet the over on # of athletes bagged by Paris Hilton

Categories
Dallas Cowboys

T.O.’s new childrens book


Terrell Owens is going to release a children’s book called “Little T Learns to Share” in November. This is perfect as who would understand kids better than someone with the emotional maturity of a 6 year old.

Sometimes real newspaper reports end up sounding like an Onion article and this is no different.


It’s about a a young boy learning the value of sharing.
Little T, the title character, refuses to share his football at first but later realizes he can’t enjoy his new ball without friends.

It’s the first book of T.O.’s Timeout Series. The second book, Little T Learns What Not to Say is due in spring 2007, and the third one, Little T Learns To Say I’m Sorry comes out fall 2007. The other topics haven’t been determined.

Here are some of our suggestions:

  • Little T Learns How to Spot a Rat
  • Every team starts with Little T
  • Little T has 25 million reasons to live
  • Little T isn’t pointing fingers but it’s the quarterback’s fault

Links:
[Dallas Morning News]: T.O. and kids? Book it

Categories
Dallas Cowboys

Transcript of TO publicist 911 call

Here’s the transcript of the 911 call from Kim Etheredge.  Notice of mention of “depressed” in the call itself.

Kim Etheredge: “Hi, I have an emergency please.”

911 operator: “You need the police out there?”

Etheredge: “I need an ambulance please.”

911 operator: “Let me give you the paramedics.”

Etheredge: “Thank you.”

911 operator: “Stay on the line.”

Paramedic: (Garbled) “Dallas Fire.”

Etheredge: “Hi. Hi I need an ambulance please, immediately.”

Paramedic: “OK. What’s your address?”

Etheredge: (gives address, crying)

Paramedic: “What’s wrong?”

Etheredge: “I think he took too many pills. Please. Now. (Garbled) What do I do if the pills are down the throat?”

Paramedic: “OK. What’s your phone number? We are already on the way now, ma’m. What’s your phone number?”

Etheredge: “Oh God!”

Paramedic: “What’s your phone number?”

Etheredge: (Deleted)

Paramedic: “Is that 214?”

Etheredge: “Yes.”

Paramedic: “OK. Is he still breathing?”

Etheredge: “Yes.”

Paramedic: “OK, we’re on the way there, ma’am.”

Etheredge: “Thank you. Thank you.”

Links:

[MSNBC]: Cops want T.O., publicist to apologize
[SFGate]: You can’t beat bad publicists

Categories
Dallas Cowboys

Report: TO tried to kill himself


Update: Deion Sanders is reporting that he has spoken to TO and that Owens laughed off the reports of a suicide attempt and that it was simply a bad reaction to the pain medication.

Last night, the news was that TO was rushed to the hospital to induce vomiting because he had an allergic reaction to pain pills. Well, today, a very different story is coming out of Dallas. According to various reports, TO actually tried to kill himself by taking 35 pills.

TO’s publicist was the one who made the phone call to the police but now she is saying that it was not as serious as reported and that his answer of “yes” when asked whether he had tried to hurt himself was taken out of context and that TO was still groggy. We’ll see how the spin on this thing is going to go.

The Dallas Police Department just had a news conference where they stated that the incident they responded to was not a criminal act but a medical one therefore no more information would be forthcoming from the DPD. However, the Smoking Gun has released a copy of the police report from last night.

Links:
[Star-Telegram]: T.O. tried suicide, report says
[CBS11 TV]: DPD Report Says Owens Attempts Suicide

Categories
Philadelphia Eagles

Burger King parodies Drew Rosenhaus

We haven’t seen this commercial on television yet but it’s genius. It’s probably extra special for Eagles fans as the Burger King looks like Howard Eskin, also known as the biggest ass clown sports radio host in the world. (Via The 700 Level)

Categories
Golf

August 11 in Sports History: John Daly wins PGA Championship


In 1991: An unknown rookie qualifier named John Daly shocked the golf world by winning the PGA Championship at Crooked Stick in Indiana. Daly, who only made the field when another golfer dropped out, shot a 276 and defeated Bruce Lietzke by 3 shots. Known as Long John for his booming drives off the tee (at least we think), Daly would become one of the most popular golfers on the tour despite only five wins in 15 years. He would be just as well known for his life off the golf course. Daly has battled alcoholism, a gambling addiction and a slew of ex-wives throughout his professional career.

In 1951: The New York (baseball) Giants lost to the Phillies 4-0, while the Brooklyn Dodgers beat the Braves 8-1 (in the first ever game televised in color). The loss put the Giants 13 1/2 games behind the Dodgers in the National League standings with 49 games left to play. The Giants would eventually make one of the biggest comebacks in baseball history, leaping over three teams to tie the Dodgers on the last day of the season. The rivals would play a best-of-three playoff, with the Giants winning the pennant on Bobby Thompson’s famous home run, which became known as “the shot heard ‘round the world.”

In 2005: Philadelphia Eagles’ wide receiver Terrell Owens was sent home for the week during training camp after a shouting match with Head Coach Andy Reid. Owens, who reported to camp unhappy with his current contract (“only” seven years, $49 million), supposedly told Reid to “shut up” in a team meeting. Owens returned to his home in New Jersey, where he did a bizarre series of interviews while working out in his front yard. Owens would continue his feud with Reid and quarterback Donovan McNabb throughout the regular season. He was suspended from the Eagles for the remainder of the season in November for criticizing the team for not recognizing his 100th career touchdown reception and for reportedly getting into a fist-fight with Hugh Douglas. He signed with the Dallas Cowboys in the offseason.

Categories
Dallas Cowboys

Is TO importing his own cheerleaders?



Yes.. now I recognize her

Elaine: What is so appealing to men about a cat fight?
Jerry: Because men think if women are grabbing and clawing at each other there’s a chance they might somehow kiss.

Terrell Owens has been named in a civil court motion as a witness to a bar fight in East Dallas. According to court records, an ex-Eagles cheerleader named Tara Smith attacked a woman named Christi Proctor at the Candle Room, punching her in the mouth and pushing her down. Owens has been named in the motion because he knew her and might have invited Tara Smith to the bar.

Tara Smith was an Eagles cheerleader when Owens was in Philly and all of the sudden she’s in Dallas? Maybe the only thing TO was missing from Philly was his very own cheerleader.

Links:
[Phila Daily News]: T.O. named witness in bar fight involving ex-cheerleader

Categories
All Other Sports

Odds and Ends (07.18.2006): They are all witnesses


We’re pretty sure this isn’t what Nike had in mind for the “We are all witnesses” campaign but in trying to get the records for their student ID card activity, DA Mike Nifong has said that every member of the Duke lacrosse team is a potential witness and he wants to confirm their whereabouts after the alleged rape incident. This story isn’t going anywhere soon as the case isn’t expected to come to trial until next Spring.

In other news…

[NY Daily News]: The Mets and David Wright apologize for the commercial promoting the “Salvation Miracles Revival Crusade”.

[SI]: Bruce Arena signs on to coach the Red Bulls

[NY Post]: So much for Jai Lewis’ career in the NFL

[Sportsline]: Russell Crowe decides he wants to coach the rugby team he owns

[The Golf Blog]: What happened to David Duval?

[USA Today]: T.O. tells HBO he’s misunderstood; wonders ‘Why me?’