When Charles Barkley is your friend, you don't need enemies

Posted on Thu Mar 13, 2008 at 10:43:00 AM EST in NBA
More on: Charles Barkley, Michael Jordan, divorce, money, funny (all tags)

Charles Barkley and Michael Jordan are the BFFL (Best Friends For Life), but that doesn't mean the Round Mound of Rebound is going to show his Airness any mercy when it comes to his ultra expensive divorce settlement.

We've been giving Michael a hard time," Barkley told a crowd at the SMU Athletic Forum lunch at the Hilton Anatole on Wednesday. "He just got a divorce [and it was like] damn, bro, you wrote a check for $175 million? Are you kidding me? You must have some damn money. If you can write a check for $175 million, you're damn loaded."

Barkley went on to say that "sports is definitely not the place to be sensitive, no matter what it is. We're going to ride you unmercifully and we told him, `It's probably bad to write a check for $175 million, but it's going to get worse. When you go visit your kids, there's going to be a guy sitting in your chair, wearing your robe, smoking a cigar.

The crowd erupted in laughter, but Barkley still had one more zinger for Jordan, saying: "You better hope it ain't one of us. You better hope it ain't one of your boys. We're all looking for a woman with $175 million.

Don't worry about it Mike. If Chuck gets you down with his wisecracks, you can always chill with Tiger and make fun of his golf swing. That never gets old.

Links:
[Star-Telegram.com]: Not even Jordan escapes Charles Barkley's verbal darts

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When you're Shaq, all mo' money means is mo' bills

Posted on Fri Jan 25, 2008 at 03:53:20 PM EST in NBA
More on: Shaquille O'Neal, divorce, money, bills (all tags)

Patrick Ewing once infamously said "We might make a lot of money, but we also spend a lot of money." Perhaps nobody exemplifies this better than Mr. Money Bags, Shaquille O'Neal.

The big fella is currently going through a divorce from his wife, Shaunie, and had to turn over a statement of his finances to the courts and the Palm Beach Post managed to get their hands on it. After taking a look at the article, it's pretty clear everything Ewing said was true. Shaq indeed makes a lot of money ($1.8 million per month), but he spends a lot of money too ($875,015 per month). Here's how Shaq attacks the bills.

* $156,116 in mortgages on three homes (including his $20 million mansion on Miami Beach's Star Island), plus $31,299 in homeowners insurance
* $110,505 for vacations
* $26,500 a month for child care
* $24,300 for gas
* $17,220 for clothing
* $12,775 for food
* $10,065 for electricity
* $10,000 for temporary child support
* $10,000 for alimony
* $6,730 for dry cleaning
* $5,000 for car payments
* $3,345 for phone bills
* $2,305 for pets
* $1,610 for lawn and pool maintenance
* $1,495 for cable TV

Talk about depressing! He's dropping almost seven grand a month on dry cleaning and we can't even scrounge up enough change to get our water turned back on. Yea, do *not* go in there! Pheeww!

Links:
[PalmBeachPost.com]: Shaq as big a spender as he is a man

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Barkley want pre-nup, Barkley want pre-nup! Yeaah

Posted on Fri Nov 16, 2007 at 11:29:04 AM EST in NBA
More on: Charles Barkley, Michael Jordan, divorce, pre-nups, funny (all tags)

Michael Jordan is going through a costly divorce with his ex, Juanita. In all, the parting of ways is going to cost his Airness over $150 million. Now, we're no mathatologists or anything, but if Charles Barkley says that's a lot of money then that's a lot of money.

I was going to call him to borrow money, but I think I'll hold off on that," Barkley said.

Barkley clearly enjoyed talking about the situation Thursday during an interview on Dan Patrick's syndicated radio show, which airs locally at 10 p.m. on WSCR-AM 670.

"You have to look at it two ways," Barkley, now an analyst for TNT, said. " 'Wow, that's a lot of money. Wow, that's a lot of money.' Then the second way, 'Damn, Michael's got a lot of money.' ... Personally I would have to have somebody else write the check. You've got to be so [ticked] to write that check."

Barkley said the Jordan case shows the value of having a pre-nuptial agreement.

Barkley said he doesn't have one with his wife, but economics have changed dramatically since his playing days.

"I agree with Donald Trump," Barkley said. "Everybody who's got money or thinks they're going to have money should have a pre-nup. ... If she don't sign it, you don't marry her."

Finally Barkley concluded, "I'll bet you if Juanita gets married again, she'll sign a [pre-nup].

You're darn skippy she will Chuck. Wow, we can't believe we just agreed with a guy who dances like a fairy.

Links:
[ChicagoSports.com]: Barkley wowed by Jordan's stash

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Could VH1 be bringing The Love Shaq to a TV near you?

Posted on Wed Sep 05, 2007 at 08:26:46 AM EST in NBA
More on: Shaquille O'Neal, divorce, money, Heat (all tags)

Hey ladies, wanna be dwarfed by
your man? Shaq's about to be on the
man meat market.

You can add a new moniker to the ever growing list of names that Shaquille O'Neal has collected like custom cars since joining the league: the Big Bachelor. Apparently, Shaq and Shaunie O'Neal are splitting ways after five idyllic years of wedded bliss and the big fella decided to be the dumper instead of the dumpee and slapped his ol' lady with divorce papers on Tuesday.

According to the filing, which was first reported by The Miami Herald on its Web site Tuesday night, Shaquille O'Neal is asking Shaunie O'Neal to provide a "correct accounting of all money, funds, stocks, bonds, and other securities" that she had access to or obtained during the marriage.

They are the parents of six children; Shaquille and Shaunie O'Neal had four together, and each had one other before their Dec. 26, 2002 wedding.

Damn, six kids! But at least they managed to spit four of `em out together. Are you listening Travis Henry? But back to the chedda' chedda'; there's no way that Shaq's gonna get stiffed on this whole deal and he's asking this potential gold digger to fork over some receipts. Doesn't sound too unreasonable too us; after all, we are talking about the potential future fat face of law enforcement in Florida. He's going to need all the campaign money he can muster up.

Links:
[MiamiHerald.com]: Heat's Shaquille O'Neal seeking divorce

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Air Jordan gets deflated by about $150 million

Posted on Mon Apr 16, 2007 at 08:32:57 AM EST in NBA
More on: Michael Jordan, money, divorce (all tags)

Michael Jordan has a lot of titles and distinctions to his name, but his latest accolade is almost certainly not going to have the greatest athlete of all time real excited. That's because his Airness will probably lose more than $150 million to his ex-wife Juanita in what Forbes.com is calling the most costly divorce ever in their list of "The 10 Most Expensive Celebrity Divorces." So, do you still wanna be like Mike?

Here are the rest of big losers or winners, depending on how you want to look at things.

#10: Mick Jagger and Jerry Hall: Estimated settlement - $15 to $25 million

#9: Lionel and Diane Richie: Estimated settlement - $20 million

#8: Michael and Diandra Douglas: Estimated settlement - $45 million

#7: James Cameron and Linda Hamilton: Estimated settlement - $50 million

#6: Paul McCartney and Heater Mills: Settlement pending - Possibly more than $60 million

#5: Kevin Costner and Cindy Silva: Estimated settlement - $80 million

#4: Harrison Ford and Melissa Mathison: Estimated settlement - $85 million

#3: Steven Spielberg and Amy Irving: Estimated settlement - $100 million

#2: Neil Diamond and Marcia Murphey: Estimated settlement - $150 million

#1: Michael and Juanita Jordan: Settlement pending - Possibly more than $150 million

While losing $150 million has got to suck, it's a small price to pay to be able to do things like this...

Links:
[Forbes.com]: The 10 Most Expensive Celebrity Divorces

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