College Football

Chris Rix can’t handle the truth

So I went out and got absolutely shitfaced last night. Desperately looking for an outlet to waste time while I’m sitting at work, I was flipping through random blogs. Basically, I was just hoping to find something that can carry me for a half hour. After reading that David Beckham had a successful MLS debut against DC United, it occurred to me that I hadn’t checked to find out if there was a new round of “Becks” bashing. Quite frankly, I was just hoping to lob in some anonymous sarcastic comment like, “You’re right…..David Beckham stinks…..he’s only accounted for 3 of England’s last four international goals and probably every single one in the last three World Cups.”

Instead, I stumbled upon inspirational comedy. Raise your hands if you remember the Chris Rix Era at Florida State…..and Florida State fans……feel free to lower the middle finger you now have extended towards me. When historians look back on when Bobby Bowden started to lose his fastball, I guarantee they will point at the day Chris Rix was announced as the starting quarterback for Florida State. His tenure there was an unmitigated disaster as he was known throughout the college football universe for throwing interceptions at crucial times, an inability to lead in the clutch, and a swagger that reminded of an overwhelmed 17-year old trying to…..umm…”close the deal” for the first time.

Well, Mr. Rix has opened a Champions Training Academy to teach young players how to become a great quarterback. I think Flash Warner said it best when she remarked, that this would be like Michelle Wie running an academy called “Making the Cut on the PGA Tour”. I would add that Chris Rix being associated with the word “champion” is like Paris Hilton being associated with the word “chaste” or Lindsay Lohan being associated with the word “sober”. In a nutshell, it is absurd. Well Flash and a site she writes for are being threatened with a subpoena for stating this in an article…….or basically stating the obvious. Basically, Chris Rix is trying to intimidate a girl………..because quite frankly that is all he can intimidate.

See, Chris, in times like these, it’s best just to ignore critical blog entries because otherwise the whole thing just balloons out of control. And then you have more and more blogs weighing in. Clearly not championship strategy.

All Other Sports

Stokkemania has officially arrived!

Hey, you stalkers! Don’t screw this up
for the rest of us!

Because of their super-duper hot daughter, Allison, the Stokke family is getting a taste of what it’s like to be a celebrity. And frankly, they say it tastes like crap.

Thanks to creepy bloggers from all over the world, ourselves included, the high school pole vaulter has, well, vaulted up the charts in search engines and become one of the most talked about subjects in the blogosphere. In fact, she has blown up to Washington Post status as the news juggernaut published an article on the 18-year-old’s new found fame. In addition to school work and track endeavors, Stokke must now put up with paparazzi, bikini photo request, potential stalkers, nasty blogs and fake Facebook profiles.

Even if none of it is illegal, it just all feels really demeaning,” Allison Stokke said. “I worked so hard for pole vaulting and all this other stuff, and it’s almost like that doesn’t matter. Nobody sees that. Nobody really sees me.

Hey, we can totally understand how hard this has to be for a young girl. Suddenly being thrust into a world where you are being objectified by millions for no other reason than simply walking the earth. It really isn’t fair…but, she better get use to it. The snowball has already begun rolling and now it’s just going to continue growing until the public gets their fill of Stokke. Which will probably be around age 50! But who knows, maybe she is just an overnight sensation who will disappear as quickly as she showed up; doubtful but possible.

In the end, as long as nobody gets carried away and does anything against the law, this is simply a case of boys being boys. Her own mother even said so:

All of it is like locker room talk,” said Cindy Stokke, Allison’s mom. “This kind of stuff has been going on for years. But now, locker room talk is just out there in the public. And all of us can read it, even her mother.

We’re just hoping that Allison can adapt to her sudden and uncomfortable celebrity without too much stress and that her “fans” can distinguish between right and wrong as they admire their teenage heartthrob.


[]: Teen Tests Internet’s Lewd Track Record

General Sports

Odds and Ends: Should bloggers get Press Credentials?

Eric Mcerlain over at Off Wing Opinion posted a link to Sports Media Journal’s poll asking whether sports bloggers should get media credentials. There are only 51 votes as of this writing but almost 2/3 of the respondents say no. And I have to agree with them. A few bloggers, like Eric, absolutely know their stuff. We’ve had Eric on a few podcasts and his knowledge of hockey and the NHL is extraordinary. Giving him a press pass enhances his writing.

However, the majority of bloggers are goddamn useless and add absolutely nothing to sports “reporting.” Hell, why do you need a press pass to post a blog entry on which player in the starting lineup compares to the cast of the Partridge Family? Bill Simmons doesn’t need a press pass and the majority of bloggers are cheap imitations of the Sports Guy. (Even the Sports Guy has become a cheap imitation of the Sports Guy.) You wouldn’t believe how many times I’ve clicked on a link, read the blog entry, and thought, “are you f’ing kidding me? Did I just waste time reading that shit?”

No, bloggers do not need press credentials. The good ones come up with important topics and opinions with or without access. The bad ones will always suck the life out of this game, whether or not they have access to the free buffet. And for the record, we don’t have press credentials.

In other news…

[]: Bengals release LB Nicholson after arrest on a domestic violence charge

[Idaho Statesman]: Another story for the ‘Hockey players are the toughest athletes’ file

[]: The worst logos in hockey

[TrojanWire]: Well, at least we know Steve Nash doesn’t get his chest waxed

[Ump Bump]: For Ozzie Guillen, profanity is but a station in his train of thought

[SportsBurn]: Tony Romo to judge Miss Universe pageant. Bastard.